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How do you stay motivated? I feel like I have such high aspirations but never the motivation to put the effort in to anything. Everything takes time, and the only thing I put time in to is my career, which ends up feeling self defeating. I have the funds to do anything I want and I end up doing the same thing over and over to ease my anxiety.

I guess my question boils down to "Those who found something to pour their soul into, how did you manage to focus on that above all else?"

Thanks for the input friends!
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Just do it


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I think that the first thing you need to do is getting used to doing the thing you want to do. Even if you're struggling to focus, force yourself to do it for a while and you will see some results. It doesn't necessarily have to be a routine, just make sure that you're doing it. Also, if it's something you can do without being on the computer, try doing it away from any digital device you own. Having no distractions really helps with concentration.


I use my self doubt to motivate myself. Pair that with caffeine, and I got myself a somewhat productive day. It also comes down to your beliefs too. If your personal beliefs dictate you to study or do something, then you'll do it. Otherwise, if you feel enough shame, you'll hopefully force yourself to do it.


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Good on you, dude.


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Never give up

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What are your thoughts on deep faked porn. It's driving me crazy how many folks are being Boomers and freaking out about the new tech. They're calling it a violation of their favorite streamers' dignity even if you would never meet that streamer.

Personally, I think we'll get used to having fake porn of everyone on the internet. It'll be like old porn stars never retired and you can make up pure fantasy about anyone the married woman you saw at a coffee shop.
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we've evolved, sushi


I think it's fine. It isn't real after all.


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Oh, sushi roll. Sometimes so hated and sometimes so deeply beloved. I usually do not post anything here, and that makes me more of an alien to this place, so you don't have to take my opinion too close to your heart: my stances aren't that strong, except those that I have about the relationship between children and adults. These were strong when I was 8, when I was 14, when I was 18, and so they most likely will be until I die.

Besides, I also wanted to make the following point. While we, of course, can upkeep the *traditions of old*, the advent of new technology won't stop, and so won't the change it brings to humanity. The humanity has changed already, although I'd have a trouble describing in what way exactly it did so. Once upon a time, people wouldn't stare at their phones during a holiday dinner and would talk to each other, bringing in many guests, and many still do. Once upon a time, there wasn't an issue with porn because there were no cameras to catch and keep a detailed image of a person, and porn simply didn't exist the way we know it. The perception of fake erotic photos being published somewhere as blasphemy upon one's dignity is one way how the *puritan romantic mind* of the *old culture* tries to make sense of this brave new world that we're treading into. And it's poorly suited for processing that.

Although, you could probably make the case that humans always disliked evil caricatures and gossips of them as well as name-calling and exposure of their secrets, and that things are still going the usual way because fake lewds are simply a new annoying part of this list of things that, although their contents are not necessarily real, sometimes really make people feel terrible.

There is the classic problem of freedom for something versus freedom from something. Some people will do whatever, and when confronted, they say that they don't owe anybody anything, they say that if you don't like something, you could just go away or grit your teeth, and it's totally your fault if you can't or don't. Some people demand that every moral actor in the world be mindful of them, the whole set of their wants and opinions and what they might feel at each step, or else. As for the solution, it depends.

Sex doesn't have to bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


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In other words, I'd hope that people would take it easier. Instead, some people make such a big deal off of anything lewd about them and the others, and I wish people would be able to experience petty lewd stuff like fake porn pictures in a simpler way that doesn't wrench anybody's heart and thus doesn't result in violation of either of the two freedoms.

I hope this is much clearer than what I wrote before.


Moved to >>>/hell/4310.

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currently on a zoom call doing remote e-learning. it's really daunting but the nice weather outside makes it better. i'm just a little annoyed today haha
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I love cheesecakes


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very cute


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espresso peps you up!


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any tips on dealing with a breakup? i feel like it's the first time even when it isn't. we still adore each other and i think it's just factors out of our control.
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Nope. Some people never find anyone else and eventually die alone.


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Really helpful


Sushi, you can't let people tell you this and you cannot internalize this mindset if finding new love is something you want. There are no guarantees in life– for anything, but there will always be new experiences and there is joy in those things. If you treat yourself and others with care, other people will follow suit. I personally think you will be just fine.


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Sorry if that came off as negative, but at some point you have to accept there's things you'll never reach no matter how far you extend your hand. That's not to say everything is pointless, just because you can't have everything doesn't mean you can't have something. But what people are capable of achieving varies. Just because something seems easily obtainable to you doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else.


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I'd rather not live with a "Sunken Chest" philosophy, thanks.

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What does sushi think of ASMR?
I find it helps me a lot going to bed and even after waking up. The former is great for insomnia, the second one is great to get out of bed. Makes me feel like a caring person can really fix things as long as it all works out.
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i find the veiled sexuality/eroticism of stuff like this more gross than 'porn'.
porn is open and honest about what it is and what it's for, where stuff like this stuff is not. it's closeted. it lives in sfw spaces where you know people are jerkin' off to it. Which is part of the appeal i imagine.
not saying there is any issue with asmr being gross, porn is too, it all is–sex & gross go hand in hand~


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It is a good coping mechanism. Some times I feel like there is no one for me, ASMR is a nice method to relieve stress and be at peace, even if it's all manufactured.
Yes there is people who may see it as erotic, but there is crazy things people find erotic on the internet, this isn't that bad really


asmr is peak comedy without even trying. i love me some fellatio asmr in the mornin and rage asmr before i sleep it is top funny



When I think of "ASMR," I mostly think of recordings of things like mechanical keyboards clacking, or fountain pens writing. I do find these sounds to be rather soothing, but you folks seem to be talking about something very different. Either that, or there's a non-insignificant number of people who think that mechanical keyboard sounds are particularly sexual.

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How many hours of day are you computer?
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Depends on the season. It's the wet season here, so not much to do outside, and I end up spending 4-6 hours a day on the computer. During the dry season, I go outside a lot more to take walks and go fishing, so I spend about 2 hours a day then.


Too long … I need to cut down.


all of them
i would cut down but i don't have much else to do


i stay on the computer about 4 or 5 hours a day just looking at websites and watching youtube videos.


Do more work from within.

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 No.14404[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Last thread hit bump limit so you know what that means! Talk about how your day is going, anything interesting that happened recently, what's on your or just to say hi!
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What's the bump limit in this site?


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The person that I love the most lurks this website but i don't know how to talk to that person without being a freak.
I thought I got over it, but it keeps popping up and I wish we could link up again.


When I was at home alone consuming youtube/anime/manga I just wanted to make friends. Now that I have friends at work all I want to do is be at home alone consuming youtube/anime/manga. Funny how life works


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My family are out for the week and the house is mine. I want to cross dress, wear a body suit all weak, and wear makeup and be kinky for a week for the first time, and I'm not sure what should I do now? I've never gone all the way and don't even know how to put on makeup.


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Do as much as you can. Try to watch some makeup tutorials or invite a girl friend to help you out with the makeup and stuff!

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In the past I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and more specifically social anxiety disorder.
It was so bad I couldn't even look people in the eye and I would start shaking whenever I feel like I am looked at, I would run out of classrooms at university because of anxiety attacks.
I can't remember what I was on back at the time.

I have now started a new course ( which basically guranatees a job ) and it's back. It's more under control because I am more mature and have learned to breathe, try to calm myself and distract myself but it still doesn't let me function as a human being. ( + )

I am too poor to afford therapy but my cousin works as a nurse. I have access to: paroxetine, citalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, regabalin, tradozone and alprazolam.

( + ) I'm currently anticipating social situations and taking 0.50 of xanax ahead with like half or 3 quarters of an hour but this will not last me long because I'm developing resilience to the drug ( I used to take 0.25 ).

I exercise using the bodyweight fitness app whenever I can. I do not drink coffee, alcohol or energy drinks. I used to drink tea but at some point I realised black tea unsettles me and I kind of stopped.

My concerns are anhedonia and gaining weight because this happened last time.
I plan on informing myself for a few weeks first and I am seeking help.
If you can and want please share this post to communities which you think might me knowledgeable.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.


>All I know is the less I go out, the more anxious I get. When I used to have more of a social life, socialization was easier for me. The less you do it, the less familiar it is, and the harder it gets. It's like working out: you get bigger muscles when you lift more often. But if you take a long break where you don't go to the gym at all, you get in worse shape again. It's like that, but for mental health too.
This resonates with me. If I feel someone's presence is augmenting my social anxiety I just start a conversation with any excuse. If I'm in a class I take my time and talk with everyone. I don't even care, I do it so my anxiety level is lower.
>I am currently looking into some sliding scale and medicaid places.
I'll see If I have something like that in my country.
Don't support groups just turn into an echo chamber of misery ?


Do you like the Mission: Impossible theme?


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Try following the carnivore diet (meat, organs and salt) for some days to see if it helps. As Saladino shows a lot of times diet plays a huge role in mental illness, and eating just meat is the best form of elimination diet to check it.
I noticed how much diet was a part of my depression when I ate pizza after following it for some weeks. I had nightmares, social anxiety, stuttering and generally felt like a zombie.


Jacob Collier's most beautiful few seconds

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What’s the story on your first love sushi?


My first love NTRed me. Or so I would want to say, but, first of all, there had also been an early childhood friend girl who was my neighbor and whom I liked and who maybe also, in a similar way, liked me. Second of all is that, perhaps, for my first love that broke my heart I was more of a side affair than her actual love. So maybe it actually was her original lover who had been getting NTRed through all that time. Or maybe not. Her and me, we never shared a bed after all.

So here goes the story. Some of the top universities in my homeland have boarding schools for kids. During the summer, when the classes are over, the universities offer the summer education programs for various school students. These usually last a month and are open to those who pay the money and have the skills to pass the exam-based competition. Back when I was around 14, one of these summer school students was me. I was a sickly-looking youngling from a far away little town. A kid with little to no useful internet access. To give you an idea of how bad it was, Google would take a minute to open in worst cases. In some sense, you could say, I was sheltered, although the internet issues weren't the only cause in any way.

She was a tiny bit frail-looking pretty girl of my age with blue eyes, fair white skin and brown hair tied in a braid that fell onto her chest. It's not that there was nothing off about her appearance, but since I had fallen in love with her, she seemed to me the most beautiful person in the world. For if you truly love someone, it changes your perception of them. She had an air about her of a fair girl with calm character who's always serious about her studies and school stuff.

I don't remember how we first met, but the school would hold some semi-mandatory events and city tours, and maybe it was at one of these events that we started sharing the music we like, chatting about this and that, and going out with each other for walks while holding hands. Sometimes I also would stay in her room (her roommate usually was somewhere else). We would sit on her bed side-by-side and talk, and sometimes I even mastered enough courage to cowardly caress her thighs (that's when I found out that girls' thighs aren't perfectly smooth but actually feel quite hairy!) and maybe hug her, but nothing more than that. We didn't even kiss. In fact, my first kiss was stolen by a boy some 4 years later, but that's out of this story's scope.

Eventually I notPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


She left me her phone number, but I somehow lost the note with it. It was a very peculiar kind of phone number, however, with either mostly 7s or 8s as well as some 0s in it. So as the pain and the longing hadn't been going anywhere, I decided to try to recall her number and write her an SMS. I received no response. I had never used social media before, but still tried searching for her account, which I successfully found, but the site said it was deleted.

Thus, some 4 months passed. I'd gotten successfully admitted to one of the universities' boarding schools. I still would often recall her, and sometimes I would feel as bad as I had back when the summer school was about to end. So, I decided to follow up with another SMS, just in case. And she replied! I felt so glad at that moment. It turned out that she'd thought that my first message had been sent to her by mistake. Or so she replied, asking me to install WhatsApp. She asked me what I think of her. We kind of complimented on each other's selves… But then she mentioned that guy's name and asked me what I thought about him. Oh my God, was I dense.

We chatted about various stuff, including politics as well as some /x/-related and religious questions, and that went on every day for about a week or maybe longer, I don't remember. Then one day she hadn't replied with anything, and I sent her some messages wondering as to why. Whether there were so many and they were so demanding as for me to come off as what they call a creepy annoying sperg, I don't exactly remember, but it might as well have been like that. In the next three days, she replied that she simply didn't want to, and I guess it was weird for me back then. Or maybe not.

Then, one day, she asked me whether I was in a certain part of the city. It was the district where my dormitory was in. I asked her how she knew that. She said that she could feel it. She told me that she was participating in a national physics competition (or was it a math one?) and that she was now in the same city and was accommodated somewhere in the same area. However, when I inquired about her location so that we could meet, she refused to tell me anything. What were her exact excuses for that, I'm unable to recall. Maybe she said that she didn't want to hurt me or leave me longing for her, but I don't know for sure. So, what happened is that I got angry at her and told her that she was lying. She seemed perplexed by my words, and still insisted tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


Came across her in the plaza. I was 16 and never had a gf. Went out on a date and as we took shelter from the rain I just asked he to be my gf. She kissed me and my first kiss was a bit uncomfortable because she was significantly shorter than me.
We never had secs, we almost did a couple times but it never happened.
A guy joined our friend group and fell for her. She never liked him but he stirred up enough chaos to cause us to break up.
Her family liked me quite a bit, she had like 5 brothers. Her mom was though af but so was mine so I was never much intimidated by that.
I kept visiting her after we were done, always hoping we could get back together. The family sort of adopted me, and her mother paid me to teach her and her sister English.
Her sister didn't like me before we broke up, but then we became friends, sort of. Funny, today I wonder how the sister is doing, I don't care so much about the one that was my gf.

Not very many came after her. And the same feeling never repeated. I'm glad, though, it was too painful.


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I wish I was a better man when it happened.
She really was one of a kind, if only I didn't believe so poorly of myself at the time.

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It sucks having no friends. No people to talk to, or share moments with.
I made this thread so that you can give me advice on this particular subject.
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Most people are masochists, like the other sushi roll replied, the more you act indifferent, the more desire someone has for you. If you’re unable to cultivate a personality optimal for socialization, try quelling that desire to have friends by focusing on what else you enjoy. Pointless to chase after something unobtainable.


Haven't had an IRL friend in years. I don't like most people I meet, they're all boring and don't care about anything other than their image. I think I'm just unlucky to be born here, I don't think I'm that weird or unique. My only social life is Discord, I think I would go insane without it. I get depressed by just thinking about the possibility of living without online communities. Maybe I'm just overreacting right now because I'm sleep deprived, maybe it's not that bad…


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Gonna try going to a cultural exchange thingy
We'll see how it goes


>Cultural exchange thingy
What does this entail?


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I don't fucking know,because it's in Thursday, and I went to the bar in a Tuesday, and I wasted my time and money getting there.

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