Me again, I guess I was thinking about that dream, and how I'd explain it to someone.
I realised to explain the feeling fully, I needed to explain a little about someone in it, and in exploring that I realised it was a feeling I'd carried with me more than half my life, and never mentioned.
So here you go rolls, the rambling secrets of an insufferable fool.
We met in the first year of high school, which where I'm from means around 14 years old.
We grew to be pretty good friends, and in time I developed pretty strong feelings for her. I didn't think she was interested, and I valued the friendship, so I kept it to myself.
Over time we drifted apart, took different paths in life.
She ended up dating an exceptionally dull classmate, at the time it was a bitter feeling, but I moved on.
Through talking out those feelings, and some similar ones in return I ended up very close to her then best friend, now one of my closest friends.
We both moved away to study, and drifted further still. We met up a few times after that, but she wasn't the person I once knew.
The last time we spoke she was utterly preoccupied with money, and virtue signalling to her fancy new friends. The dull classmate had dumped her, and she was now dating a guy with very wealthy parents, and who was absolutely smitten with her, but had all the personality of a damp paper towel. She was telling me how great everything was going, but it felt so forced, so unnatural.
I'd been going through a bit of a low patch myself, and I sort of expected the meet up to bring back some pangs of youthful yearning, of tragic unrequited love.
But instead it was just sad. To see the wonderful little weirdo I used to know leading a life I know she would have once found abhorrent. Aspiring to things I don't think she really wanted, and settling for easy conveniences over following her passions.