I was raised to be religious (basically grew up in a Lutheran church), and although I enjoy reading the bible and other religious scriptures, I mostly do it for self improvement and self belief. This helps me when I have to ignore parts that I do not agree with.
> there is that thought that it is all my work and not some old dude above my head.
Maybe you're right. After all, it was you that experienced whatever happened. You actions(be it direct or indirect) caused them to happen. take the time to appreciate your accomplishments. You decided to seek God out in order to gain some form of stability. That was your doing.
I was taught that God is all around us. In my opinion, the Holy Trinity is a good starting point. Holy Spirit is the one I connect with the most. So the wind, the tree branch, that dog you saw yesterday and our feelings/thoughts are all a part of God. I focus more on the feeling of receiving mental strength and being understood. Helps me feel empowered when I realise that everything in this world is connected. The Sushi a few posts above this one explained it better that I did. "God is the eternal rhythm of the universe, life, experience, something indescribable in words."
But at the end of the day, how you view and use the religion is up to you. As long as it benefits you I'd say that it's working. if you don't feel comfortable with where you're at, try reading up on different religions and viewpoints. Hopefully you'll gain enlightenment and peace.