I have some online friends.
Some from a hobby group, some from a game server. Most of those are more of the same place same time kind of friends though.
I have a few much closer friends who I either met in irc or knew irl until they moved elsewhere.
I just joined the hobby group and turned up, same with the game server. With both of those I do the relative activity.
The ones I got on irc I keep up with emails and chats, but irc has since been killed by discord so that's unfortunate.
The closer friends I just talk about bullshit for hours, or maybe sometimes really introspective important stuff but I only do that with special people.
Forums and imageboards are great for instantly talking or sharing information but shitty at making actual relations.
You need to find an environment that has a *small* number of people with a common interest. Lots of people or lack of topic will sink you before leaving harbour. If you can try and get into something that has only recently started, as getting into an already existing social system is a lot harder.
Also emails are actually pretty good for talking, despite no one ever using them.
All said and done, I'm hardly a popular person so I shouldn't be giving advice.
I guess I do have online friends. The oldest ones I got through IRC when I joined Linux related IRC channels on freenode and EFNet, then there is that small clique I became a part of through filesharing forums.
The most recent friendly relationships that I have formed have been through /vg/ and video games, but that lot can be a bit depressing and mentally unstable. So not great for someone that is sensitive to that kind of stuff.
For someone that has the time, I can highly recommend small (it is easier with small ones) and active IRC channels related to topics that you enjoy. Like join their IRC channel if you use a less used distribution or operating system. I'm not fond of the service myself, but I guess discord is an ok place for people that don't want to leave an IRC client up during all waking hours.
Since I got more lasting relationships from filesharing forums, topical and hobby forums can be a nice place to gain friends. For me that would probably be somewhere like amibay, vogons, or other forums that focus on discussing topics that I enjoy.
If you would be interested in IRC, the one for this site is nice. You might not get immediate replies, but people there seem to be pretty decent. I haven't seen any drama there yet, and people seem to keep a friendly tone with eachother.
>>3307>don't want to leave an IRC client up during all waking hours
That problem can be solved by using an irc bouncer.
My only online friends are the regulars in the sushichan irc. It's a shame that you don't have time for irc, because it's quite comfy joining a channel and having old, familiar nicks greet you warmly. I second what >>3307
said: the people in our channel are pretty decent and friendly.
This is a cute post
I have some online friends I met years ago when posting on a mailing list. We have been shitposting for so long that I even went and met some of them IRL sometimes which was fun.
Have you tried >>>/lounge/1640
or the sushichan IRC as some rolls suggested?
I had your very same problem a while ago when I couldn't commit to online posting. Sometimes it's hard to come up with stuff to say. It's okay.
I prefer sushi rollymous sites, there is a guaranteed cultural common ground and a sense of camaraderie that I am emotionally dependent upon. I don't like having to try to fit into preexisting cliques.
I have still come close to making actual connections through imageboards from time to time, though. I even had a sorta kinda internet boyfriend last year, met him on a chan. Laugh all you want at what little we had, that breakup fucked me up quite a bit.
Since it was advised in the thread I've been logging on to the IRC every time I've turned on my computer, but I've only seen about four posts in it. I guess my free time doesn't intersect many other sushi rolls, or I'm not there for long enough. I don't know what I would say should anyone turn up though, so it's probably for the best.
I had a look at the lounge thread, it all seemed to be either sushi rollymous boards, leading to the same problem I have already, or discord rooms. I know I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but I really dislike discord. It presents the same problem as IRC (Me being socially incompetent), plus privacy-wise, it's basically facebook. I'm sorry for making excuses for your suggestions sushi roll, thanks for being helpful.
Man I want a high res of that if you have it.
I also hate discord with a passion. What annoys me the most is the terrible loading jokes.
Every time you need to open it it says something like "loading dank memes" and it just flips my switch.
I won't give you any advice though, I don't think I can suggest anything helpful.
that link is broken but I used the .jpg code to source one.
Thanks sushi, you're the best.
Yeah the client is actually pretty decent I'll admit. I don't like the formatting but the vast majority of people prefer that style now anyway.
I'm kinda past the point of caring about data anymore so thats the most legitimate problem essentially shrugged off.
Sort of, but not really. I've been using IRC regularly for years now and it's how I meet the people I get along best with. Unfortunately those friendships don't usually last. Still, I manage to get along well with people on irc most of the time at least in the channels I'm in.
Every so often people approach me who think I sound interesting and want to be friends, but they usually loose interest pretty quickly. This is something I've kinda had to get used to and gave up expecting these sort of friends to stick around long.
I recently started hanging out on the sushi irc. If you want someone to chat with about anything you're always welcome to message me or one of the other people there. I'm sure anyone there would be accommodating. And don't worry about saying dumb or weird things, I've done that more times than I can count and I can assure you no one cares. Everyone does it.
You could also try discord, a lot of people seem to be using that these days.
Guide to #sushigirl:
2. Randomly pick a couple names from who's online
3. Send poka
4. Wait for them to come in and start a conversation
5. Join in
I was on the IRC yesterday and someone linked to >>3315
and said to show myself, but right at that moment a mysterious event happened and I had to vanish without a trace so I could deal with it. Never mind, I'll try the IRC again at the weekend.>>3322> *roll has been invited to #sushigirl> <roll> Hi, what did you want?> <Me> Hi> <roll> Hello.> <roll> Did you need something?> <Me> uh> <Me> What's your favourite animal?> *roll has quit
I think thats probably not a good idea.
For chatting with friends and such, I will stick with IRC for as long as possible. I'll reluctantly use Discord, but won't be as active there as I am on IRC. Simply due Discord being a single point of failure, no good clients, and for some reason, it is too heavy to run well enough on my sandy bridge era laptop. It makes a very noticeable impact on the general performance of the laptop. Works well enough on my newer desktop computers, but I still find it annoying to use.
The desktop client doesn't run on all operating systems either, so it isn't as portable. When I run it in Firefox ESR, I have issues where I cannot switch between channels. I'm stuck in whichever channel I landed in when I opened the Discord page.
For me, IRC is more than good enough, and the large selection of clients will run on anything from contemporary 80s computers, and more modern ones. You can't simply use IRC by joining for 5 minutes to catch up on messages tho. You have to leave the client running if you want to get in on the current conversations. For me that's not a big deal since I run weechat on my server, so I never have to disconnect. When I started out with IRC, I only used it in the evening once I was done with my console video games and outside, and wanted to be with my PC, so keeping a client running 24/7 isn't a requirement I think. It isn't like I scroll back to read the entire history on Discord either.
For talking about games, I haven't been able to find an IRC channel for it yet. Would love one for talking about old fashioned first person shooters and other games on IRC, but I expect I won't find good ones with chill people like there are on some Discord groups. IRC is excellent for free software and linux talk. I'd say the majority of currently maintained GNU/Linux distributions have active IRC channels.
I think your example depends a lot on who you talk to. Different people will respond in different ways. Some cold some warm. Meeting new people is like a roll of the dice, you might not get the number you're hoping for on the first second or even third try. Keep rolling however and you'll get it eventually.
>>3323> <Me> What's your favourite animal?> *roll has quit
I met a group of people through an online orchestra I took part in. We had to discuss parts and such, which we did over discord. Even after the project was over we all still chatted on the discord server, and we still throw in messages from time to time. It's more like a small textboard than a discord server now. Those are the only people I will consider "online friends".
I am not sure if how many online friends I have. I think friendship as such is a two way process. So, I guess I could say I would be happy to consider some people friends, but I am not sure how they feel about me? Either way, I met them mostly on the sushigirl IRC, or they are people I used to know but moved away from in real life (does that count?).
I did try other communities but they were always too big and intimidating though. I mostly keep in touch with Discord, Telegram or IRC, though I haven't really been active on that lately…
I really recommend other people try the IRC however! A bouncer can probably even run on a cheap android phone if you cannot afford a server to run it on.>>3302
I think it's possible. Realistically, misunderstandings can be very awkward, but due to the nature of sushigirl I think everyone will be really understanding and friendly.
I used to constantly have online friends up until around 2014. I've lost most of what made me who I was and have fallen into a deep depression. I thought about making a discord or trying to talk in IRC again.
That sounds like a pretty good idea. Some social interaction can help with depression.
>>3302>Do you have any online friends sushi? How did you get them? What do you like to do with them?
Mid 2000s: Bummed around on websites like newgrounds, gprime, themushroomkingdom (and I can't believe they're all still around…)
Mid–late 2000s: Got into romhacking, especially for super mario world for the SNES. I was active on the website smwcentral, both forums and IRC, and would talk to the other regulars often. This included some of the forum mods and at one point I had responsibilities over some subforums and for quality checking of content submitted to the website.
Mid 2000s–mid 2010s: Would go to 4chan every now and then, had a big lull in my frequency of visits in the early 2010s
Late 2000s–early 2010s: Read the somethingawful forums near-religiously, no online friends from that though
Early 2010s: Active on a my little pony forum full of somethingawful goons (no joke). Posted on the forums a lot, went on IRC a lot, and this was probably the time in my life I had my closest online friends. In this community I was active in a bunch of (but not all of) insular subgroups, each subgroup having some overlap with the others, and people who disliked the people in other subgroups tended to stick to the more fringe groups and not participate in the rest of the site. There was a lot of drama over many things that I barely remember now. Sometimes I look at my folder of OC for that site and get wistful, but I wouldn't go back.
Brief period of about 2015-6: Started reading lesswrong and slate star codex, lurked rationalist tumblr a lot, stopped doing that because I got sick of tumblr but I still read lesswrong and slate star codex today. I had known about lesswrong in the past but didn't look at it often and never participated in the community.
Mid 2010s–now: Mostly stick to lurking about 3 threads on somethingawful, lurk in some reddits, lurk and post on a few sushi rollymous imageboards, mainly 8chan boards. Have a bunch of OC for 8chan boards which I like to look at every now and then. Dropped contact with all online friends slowly, basically just reduced the frequency of logging into IRC until it was nothing.
Now: Got into a private tracker for anime because I was fortunate enough to see a thread on 8chan advertising that applications were open. I lurk a bunch of anime IRCs now, but rarely say anything in them. I just stay there to be a little more informed about anime shit.
When I had online friends I mostly just talked to them. Every so often I played minecraft with some of the my little pony forum people. With a few, I opened up about my feelings about various things to them, and they in turn to me. I don't regret doing that, but it was emotionally intense at the time and I couldn't keep that sort of thing up indefinitely. I am not looking for online friends now. Small sushi rollymous imageboards are intimate enough for me.
A lot of my shifts from one website to another track with ideological shifts that I undergo, which contributes to me tending to cut off contact with one group of people after I settle into the next.
>a goon ending up here
wow life sure is interesting sometimes
You sound a lot like some of my friends, but I know you're not because you were late to a bunch of stuff.
I finally decided to join the IRC, it's pretty slow, but I'm glad I finally went on IRC, registered a name and all that stuff. I feel really silly for putting off IRC for all these years.
Chat can be sporadic so do come back more often! Users are spread across many time zones and continents.
which IRC channels are you on?
I don't have any hobbies, and I fucking hate discord, so finding a good IRC channel is tough
I mostly lurking sushigirl IRC and lainchan IRC.
I don't. In fact, I haven't really gone out of my way to make them at all. I'm not disliked in the places I go, I know I've hopped back on one IRC channel and have had the whole group welcome me back, but I try not to get too close to others.
I've been hanging out mostly on sushi rollymous sites as well, and while I do go on one forum, I don't try to make friends there either (Not because it's bad, the people there are super nice. I just don't think to make a connection).
Often, all you need is just one to break the silence. Most of the IRC channels that I am in tend to be quiet, but once someone starts talking, more show up to talk. Same is true for the discord groups that I am part of. I feel like I can't get to know people at all in 24/7 activity groups, and the same was true for IRC when I was in those kind of channels a long time ago. IRC do need new users tho, hard to find people willing to install an IRC client instead of other options.
Slow is good.
Slow is good and slow is nice, the more people can relax and say what they actually mean to say.
I make a few buddies on chats and games, but it rarely lasts more than a few weeks. I like posting around the quiet chans cause you are my only friends in my loneliest moments, but I need that meatspace connection to want to keep an attributable friendship going.
If you do have friends, why? What is it about friends that you like? What makes up for all the hassle?
-Sincerely a friendless freak
I have a few online "friends", and I have tried to make more over the last several years.
All of them came from video games. Mostly tete-a-tete connections. I try to avoid gaming communities because they are extremely toxic environments that naturally smoke out all the good people anyway.
Unless there is some sort of hobby that I would share with the person, I had found it to be nearly impossible to form a closer relationship. As >>4080
said, it just goes nowhere after the generic start. There is nothing that would keep the conversation going.
Also, most people just have that socialization spike when they want to become friends intentionally. It's like jerking off. They would jerk off together with you and then never return again.
I found it best to try and make friends unintentionally. Don't just add somebody who is in search of a friend. Just join some kind of community and do it in a more natural way.
Even if you're not very good with communities, you are still forced much less than you would have been otherwise had it happened offline. You can just lurk around and join whenever you feel like to. Very little pressure.
I used to meet some people from a tiny 8chan imageboard irl a few years ago. We went out a few times and chatted and drank until 8am in the next morning. It was a great time. Sometimes I miss them.
>>4716>They would jerk off together with you and then never return again
Okay sushis, it's time for the annual Sushigirl circle jerk, time to whip out your dicks girls!! I gonna get real comfy in here.
Jokes are over now, I do agree that it's better to just hang out in communities online and not be shy. I once met a girl online because I admitted to being like 17/18 and not yet kissed a girl and she was really interested in that. I was too paranoid and that buddyship ended though since we drifted away.
It was a 40 year old guy, sushi.
Never made online friends because I simply don't have the energy to maintain them. I constantly read online about people complaining about ghosting and that kind of stuff and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone, because my time in my computer is mostly spent either posting on sushi rollymous websites or consuming japanese media.
I ghosted my real life friends and then they never attempted to contact me again
guess they weren't my real friends
ghosting is a test of true friendship – if they don't attempt to get back in touch with you, you weren't really friends to begin with
that's not how it works kid
>>4744>don't have the energy to maintain them
Same here. Out of sight, out of mind. Relationships today are incredibly demanding. Instant messaging and effortless social exchange let people expect at least weekly updates. otherwise you degrade from "close friend" to "just another acquaintance".
I wish I would care enough to prevent myself from acting like that instead of occasionally regretting and forgetting about it.
For example once I don't enjoy an online game anymore, because it becomes too tedious or difficult, I usually just stop playing regardless of contacts and clan memberships. When I'm already unproductive, it should at least be an enjoyable waste of time.
This sums up the dilemma pretty well. Plenty of friends have complained to me that they have trouble keeping in touch with everyone, especially when they also have to juggle that with irregular work schedules.>>4750
This might be why your friends haven't contacted you. I've sometimes gone for months without seeing someone because I was too scared to take initiative, only for them to apologize later that they didn't get back in touch sooner.
I've made quite a few through mutual interests, I can generally get some video games, movies, streams etc going. I'm also a part of a circle that stopped online correspondence a while ago, but not before some real life meetups were set up and ended up with some proper lasting friendships. I even helped one guy move furniture into his new apartment and he returned the favor during my own move.
I was going to write that I don't have any, but actually my oldest friend is actually an online one. We've kept in touch so long I forgot she wasn't an IRL one. We used to chat on MSN like every day for years, life slows down, just kinda rekindle maybe once twice a year and check up on eachother but it's good that way too. Met on a manga forum that shut down, funny part is I didn't even read that much manga, found the link on the back of a freebie manga chapter demo at the bookstore. Met (virtually) a lot of nice people that way.
Nowadays I don't meet new people online, forums are mostly dead and if not more toxic than before, chans are great for what they are but not for meeting people. >>4750
Doesn't that imply that you never really were a real friend either, since you aren't making effort to contact them too? Things like that go both ways.
>>4773>Doesn't that imply that you never really were a real friend either, since you aren't making effort to contact them too?
Don't you get sick of being the person to message other people first all the time? And then when you stop, people don't message you. It sucks. It means they merely put up with you, but can't be bothered to reach out when you stop initiating contact.
I only have a few people that I consider friends after all these years. I have met a lot of people and still talk to some of them through social networks but I don't really consider them friends, just people that often refer or talk to you out of nowhere and have no intimacy with them. Recently I met someone that I do consider my online friend, we've been talking for more than a year everyday and it's really nice. We get along well even though our opinions and taste differ constantly, he's a good pal overall and we both like the same lewd shit so we share doujins and art constantly, really cool. Last online friend that I had that was a girl ended up ghosting me pretty hard, we used to play WoW together and I kind of fell in love with her, it was all really nice and we used to share the music we liked, we would hop on discord and use the musicbot to listen to music together, really cool, but then out of nowhere she stopped showing up and years passed, it's been almost 3 years now and still no signs of her, it sucks really hard, even more because I still remember her and all, her memories feel so vivid even though it's already been a long time. After that I've been scared of getting new friends, don't want to get ghosted and be alone like that, it sucks really bad. Also after a semi-bad e-relationship I still don't know what to feel, she was such a nice girl and I still remember/miss her but I know she doesn't feel the same since I've been seeing she has a nice life going on, I'm just glad she's been doing well and if I ever get the chance to talk to her again I would tell her that I'm sorry. That's pretty much my story with online friends, the few friends I have I treasured them dearly and try to not be an awkward piece of trash with them.
I still speak to my online friends from 10 to 14 years ago. Honestly, I tend to prefer them over my IRL friends on the basis that there's no pretension and they let you know if you've made them upset instead of just letting it stew and causing drama down the road.
how do I become someone that is cherished even without presence
>>4797>It means they merely put up with you
For someone like me, it means lack of self esteem. I always think I'm a bother to other people, so I never initiate contact. I never invite people over, and I never ask others if they want to do stuff. I don't mean to be like this, but I just am, and I do love it when people want to do stuff, but I'm too unsure to make the first step myself.
I haven't been to this chan for ages, also I'm typing this drunk. Friends friends friends, they are a dime a dozen, always wanted to have something a little more, we all do. The fact is, everything in life takes us to make the effort without complaining, it's just unfair like that, don't expect to be revered or rewarded either, but people will love you regardless if you give a shit. From my honesty.
Similar situation except they weren’t my true friends, jut similar life paths, I enjoy being alone though so, good luck mate.
I have a bunch of online friends.
A few are twitch streamers with only one or two viewers whom I talk to a lot.
Recently I met an online friend I made on 4chan /g/ like 7 years ago for the first time (IRL). We used to build websites and stuff together.
He's now married and works for Yahoo in California. When he came to Germany for work stuff recently he gave me a heads up and I showed him around Berlin.
currently indev lightweight client for discord. shows lots of promise
beware, i've heard you can get banned for using alternate clients. i dont see why devs would do that though.
I have 3 online friends. One of them lives in my city, so I've hung out with them once or twice. The other ones I've never met. We talk mostly on IRC. I wish we could transition to Discord because it's a lot more convenient, but they wouldn't be interested and it's easier for new people to discover an IRC channel than a private Discord server. We mostly talk about everyday stuff and goof off. It's really nice to have people to talk to.
>>4850>i dont see why devs would do that though
It removes control from the Discord team, they can't cram their game store, paywalled features or other such crap down the throats of 3rd party client users. Supporting multiple backends is even worse for them because it greatly reduces the barrier to using something else instead of Discord.
This behavior isn't isolated to Discord either, most for-profit chat setups absolutely detest unofficial clients and will ban you at the slightest sign that you're not using the official application.
I don't really consider people to be friends if we'd never met irl or written rl letters to, but yes I have a few internet acquaintances. had to cut a few off though because they'd become horrible. and then there were the stalkers. I think my closest internet friend is a girl I recently started talking to again, she'd been stalked and catfished by the same people and we exchanged letters for months, she had such cute notepaper, hope to start doing that again.
thats kinda cool
my sister had a pen-pal when she was a kid but i was too young for that at the time>>4916
i know what you mean, i deleted my facebook and whatnot a few years ago, made a new one for uni friends but dont post or anything on it. probably gonna meet the same fate
I don't have online friends, but would like to make some. I feel like I've dug myself into a corner by frequenting sushi rollymous imageboards and similar places. I've slowly grown into more and more of an outcast because of it. I still try to make friends with people in real life but I never feel the sense of connection I used to feel, which was weak to start with tbh. And I think it's got a lot to do with my gradual withdrawal from mainstream culture.
christ this is like reading an exact description of myself
I've had the same group of online friends that I met on an MMO nearly a decade ago, played lots of games and trolled together but now everyone is slowly drifting back to the real world and becoming normal people aside from just one strange guy who is my only friend now. I'm going to get an IRC and just start surfing the waves tomorrow.
I met people in some mmorpg before and right now, we're still chatting in discord. Though many had moved on to new stuff like work or a different game. Wish we can go back to playing together like we did before but just their company is enough for me.
I feel like it's way easier to find friends online than it is in real life, just don't get too invested in the people you meet online.
Wanna chat on discord or something?
>>4960>just don't get too invested in the people you meet online
y did this hurt
I need to stop acting like such a retard online. I can't keep a stable account anywhere. I have literally made over 40 Discord accounts in the past year and a half attempting to make friends. I also can't stick to an online alias either. I don't use social media (unless you count Discord) at all and haven't since around 2012 once I wised up realizing the harm that they truly are. I lost contact with all of the communities I was a part of as well. I can't find a place to truly belong. I don't fit in with the younger crowd or the older crowds very well.
I haven't had any online friends since I quit using forums and playing Live as a teenager.>>5878>>5890
I got involved in the internet just before the transition to social media and the huge boost in popularity, but instead of jumping on Myspace and the like, I avoided those sites and frequented forums and chans so I had more exposure to long-time users and find that I interact differently than younger users do. I don't even feel comfortable with pseudonymous posting anymore and avoid stuff like Discord on instinct.
And in addition to the age issue, I either never had or grew disinterested in some of the typical imageboard hobbies like programming and gaming, instead developing hands-on, DIY interests which very few boards have sections for (and they're almost always low quality if they exist). I've ended up as a rather atypical user but avoid people offline as well, so I get this weird sense of not belonging anywhere.
I think I have some, probably not healthy ones though. Some are people I chat with semi regularly in discord servers about art and games but I expect only a couple of them to notice if I up and vanished. Others I know from tabletops but I think I'm more just a means of entertainment to them.
We don't talk any time not spent in the game save for one whose in a different server. I can't exactly blame them since I'm admittedly pretty weird and without hobbies I don't have much to talk about. I still worry about them though. Especially one, he was a cripple with a family who never seemed to have everything quite set for him and recently he up and vanished without a word. I really hope he's ok.
my closest friend is 10 years older than me and I met her through Omegle. i've known her for going on 5 years now.
I used to have a few, but I have stopped talking to them over the years. I even met up with one of them once, while I was overseas (kind of a surreal experience). Back in the day, I mostly met people through online games, but I don't really play those anymore. Another group of friends I met through similar music interests on youtube or something, weirdly enough.
I'm not sure what happened. I guess I got busy with IRL stuff, and had less time for video games. But in general, it seems like I ran out of things to say to them a while ago.
Recently, I've had a lot more time to myself, and I've ended up coming back to all the old websites and such that I used to go on. I'm kind of hesitant though, since it feels like I'm only coming back now that I've been feeling lonely, especially since I'd previously neglected these friendships.
I used to have a bunch I met on an 8chan board back in 2015 (I think). Around 2017 they all started to turn against me and I was dealing with some serious real life stuff that they were aware of but didn't care about. After being constantly blamed for every bad thing that happened to the board I got sick of it and decided the next time they accused me of something I would just take the blame and finally burn my bridges with them. A couple of other members of that group ended up splitting from them and I would consider those two to be friends. They have their own board now that I post on and one of those two that I talk to on Steam. The one I talk to on Steam helped me a lot when I was going through my real life issues and that's when I finally realised that he was a true friend. I'm not really the most socially competent of people, to say the least. Even online I'm not and once I get comfortable I end up letting my moronic nature slip out. I wish I wasn't like that and I've made steps to consciously stop being like that but it continues to slip out.
>>5890>aside from a couple small imageboards that have avoided nu-chan corruption
and what might those be? I found out about sushi very recently and thought this might be one of them but I just found out about >>>/pepe/
so I guess this place is total horseshit too unfortunately
i'm about to drop off the anglo web entirely tbh, the word "cancer" used to get thrown around a lot but there's no amputating this level of metastasis
I usually keep correspondence with people I meet but they always falter.
I swore I replied to this thread before. Goes to show I´m losing it a little.
I don´t even know what I want from people anymore.
I get lonely without friends, which doesn't make sense to me because often when I'm with people I can't wait to leave and be by myself again. That said, having a genuinely nice moment with a group of other people is something quite magical and pleasant.
I just find you interesting, nothing more. Someone is only boring when they no longer seize things. They're catatonic in their responses.
All of the friends I made on irc turned out to be pesos and fakers
Whats a pesos? pedo?
I've known a few people on irc but they always ended communication just because of a lull when I was busy or something. As though constant communication is needed or it's all over. Kinda exhausting honestly, I don't see whats wrong with some quiet then catching up a while later.
I think I've only ever made one online friend, even then we havent talked in years
My only friends are people I met at college or through other friends and we somehow kept close after all these years
I always think about trying to actually make friends in an online game or something but I can never actually get myself to actually put the effort in
Looks like some dumb joke-board made in 2016 and mostly forgotten about, being fair.
I've been coming here since the .tokyo domain and never knew about it.
Is anyone else avoiding friendships because they are boring?
When I was young, I could come up with a stupid idea and get friends involved. We could have a lot of fun with it, getting creative and making up games from nothing. Now, people are "adults" and these kinds of games are for "children."
Some examples are avoiding stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, making up imaginary histories for streets you've never been down before, or trying to narrate the inner dialogue of a person walking in front of you. Just walking around could be fun.
These days, everybody wants to get from A to B and do a well-known and refereed activity C between times D and E after being planned for a week or two in advance. All we talk about is work, news, or relationships. There's never any time to goof off, and everyone has some strict regimen that they're following (or talking about following) to get ahead in life.
Honestly, if these business-like relationships are what I can expect for the rest of my life, there's no reason not to treat "friends" like "customers." It sucks, my dudes.
Welcome to adult life.
It's not like people want to be boring and stuff. They just can't be children anymore.
Adults have responsibility and commitments. Free time is valuable and you need to keep control of it or you waste it doing nothing. Just because an activity has been done before doesn't make it boring. As we get older we find our interests and dedicate ourselves to mastering them.
Also people fuck around all the time, often by fucking with each other or doing dumb shit. It's just a different type of dumb shit. You should see some of the drawings on peoples toolboxes where I work. It's like a /b/ drawthread.
Soubds like you're just stuck in thepast to me.
Got any pics of those drawings? I'm kinda curious
I sympathise, sushi roll. I think this quotation gets at something similar to your problem:>We're in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it's all gone.
- Robert M. Pirsig
Everyone loads themselves with responsibilities - in the form of a career, a family or even a political affiliation they feel the need to defend - and when they're not taking care of these things, they relax by talking and complaining about them with other people.
One cannot avoid responsibilities. But that doesn't mean we have to be trapped in the cycle of ever dwindling free time and ever more boring conversations with which we fill our free time. I think intellectual conversation is a good antidote to the humdrum discussions we usually have. I care much less about how someone's day went than what they think the purpose of their life is and why - the latter is actually interesting and a way to discover things about a person which would remain hidden otherwise.
Honestly I'm more afraid that I've become the boring one in these relationships. Most of my friends are doing stuff, developing their adult lifes (house, partner, that stuff), going on holidays or event and what not. On the other hand, I go to work, and go back home again. I don't do anything worth talking about and as a result I have nothing to talk about.
Everytime I hang out with friends, even the ones I've known for years (hell, even with family) I get nervous about whether it will become awkward because I can't hold a conversation. I'm becoming worse and worse at this, like I'm losing the ability to express or even hold an opinion on anything.
Sorry for not being comfy guys
I found that I actually enjoy overhearing other people having interesting conversations rather than having the conversations myself. It's like you get to meet multiple people at once without having to hold a conversation where you have to act interested and polite! すてきですね。
Unfortunately, other people's conversations are rarely interesting.
There was this chat group, I guess these days would be done on Discord (in fact we had one as a parallel channel but it was almost never used), which consisted mostly on rollymous sites users in our language. It started as a well known project in the biggest of these IB and once the project was finished it independized as a community. I joined a couple of years later, those days I was very depressed and I lurked said IB in late hours when there is few activity, when I was contacted by a member, sushi roll L. He was not an originalfag but quite notourious there.
It took me some time to understand the group's vibe and to start participating as I'm not very good conversating, as I grew fondly of it I was using less and less sushi rollymous sites and enjoyed reading the chat log in dead time at school, in mornings and before sleeping; months later most of my vacation good memories were from the group. It had something that made it addictive.
L was a paranoid guy who didn't reveal himself, he had cycles of disappearing with new accounts. The first times he did this I was kinda nervous since he brought me there and most of my "connection" to the group was through him; later I adapted and grew of this stupid worry. We didn't talk so much personally (I almost never DM'd anyone) but I liked him.
To put it short, there were some dramas behind the group which I wasn't aware of (since I didn't interact personally with other members) until it was too late. The "cycles" of L intensified and after giving some hints he deleted his account and never came back. By then I would already grew an identity (or "character") in the group so I didn't worry, but it took me some time to realize he disappeared for good. Because of this and other stuff, the group started to become stale and we memed that its end was near. A new generation of members came in but I didn't feel in home anymore, I became more aggresive and paranoid and after some time of silence I deleted my account to never come back as well. When I think about this I feel like a friendly lady.
I felt kind guilty for not being more expressive then, not that it would have changed the results but there are some things I wanted to talk about to L and I don't have a better person to do it; although I didn't get to knew him as well as others I thought that we were kinda similar. There are times I have recognized him in rollymous boards and times I'm just being a schizo. I know the group is alive and will stay good, I watch some screen captures of it when I'm sad.
When the group was decaying I started a Twitter and made friends in a certain community but later got suspended and didn't want to make a new account. I talk with a few every now and then but I don't want something similar to happen again. There is a person there which alongside L can have my trust though I don't know their face.
Since then I have returned to sushi rollymous websites and I have thought of ending my e-friendships, the fear of pain is real. It would be a problem though since I'm not good making friends IRL…
Sorry for the novel, sushi.
How did you lock your course? I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, like I just can't work up the motivation to be happy; and the fact that I can't makes me feel even worse.
Well, what are you dreams?
People around you is an ideal, but ambition and a dream are what make you feel centered.
I don't have dreams either, but its important to set your eyes on something.
So I set it on learning things.
It's telling, to not have anything to share.
You are alone in this world. But you still have things to do.
I don't. Part of the reason is that I simply doesn't like to type online, especially when I'm on my phone. Also, I'm very procrastinating and posting a comment online is usually just too much work, as strange as it may sound.
I don't know how to keep online friends. My only interests are niche and all the information I know is, for the most part, very specific and not useful for day to day life. Also I don't like consuming media as much as I enjoy creating it. I feel like other people mostly just drain me of the inspiration to create, and I can't inspire them to create either.
I have tried multiple times, but end up losing contact. Maybe because I utterly fail at understanding why do I want from them or what they would want from me.
First convo goes ok but then is just friendly hellos and whats ups that get stale rather quickly
I move often so most of my friends, even if I met them IRL, are online friends. The ones that I have never seen are friends of those IRL friends and leftovers from an old circlejerk group that went too far. Each city has their own group chat and I play/chat with the ones that are online.
The circlejerk is unhealhy. We hate each other, fight everyday but stay together for God knows what. I kind of like them but I don't trust them, they probably feel the same.
Found this site while looking for the source of your pic, I hope we can be friends.
Does anybody wanna be my friend?
ok sounds good
what's your preferred form of contact
I don't have friends IRL or IRC… IRL it's really hard to find/approach anyone that might be interested in the same things as you. Online the hard part is maintaining those friendships as the online world moves fast and your average internet users attention span is much shorter. You constantly need to worry about how to keep those people interested in you instead of fading/ghosting you and moving on.
My relationships have been kind of weird since a long time, never really had any irl friends due to being a pretty quiet and shy person, only friends i really made were from MMOs always, i feel it's way easier to make friends from some silly in-game guild rather than forums or IRC channels for me, so that's where i focused on. After 7 or so years of meeting new people through different games i ended only really talk with 2 friends nowadays though, i could never maintain contact with someone for more than 1 year or so before we slowly stopped talking with each other outside of those 2, my problem is that i always end drifting away from the circle of friends, which is probably my fault for worrying too much about what to say instead of interacting more…i kind of just dissapear from a server/channel after i feel like i'm more of a specter reading conversations instead of an active member of a community. I have been also kind of a NEET for some years so it's kind of hard to talk with normal working people and understand their daily life. I wish i had more people to talk with through the day, and i miss some people i used to talk a lot with, but all in all i'm grateful for the 2 friends i have, relationships are kind of weird.
Yeah… there would be times I would go inactive for a while. But this time I had the resolution, so my first time deleting everything there would be my last. I kinda regret but I think that it is better to not try to come back, some of them disappeared time after me as well.
Discord communities or online communities aren't worth the time.
I beg to differ, found most of my online friends through Discord servers.
But I'm certain it varies depending on what type of person you are.
Found most success when pursuing pals who share niche interests/hobbies, since the communities are relatively limited.
Got nothing from massive, general groups.
The more concentrated, the better I believe.
Wish IRCs were overall still active though.. feels like a continuous deadend every time I enter a channel.
this is pretty much my situation
>>3302>Do you have any online friends sushi
I do, but I'm not too sure I want to keep them.
>How did you get them
Just random communities I joined one time or another, really.
>What do you like to do with them
Nothing anymore. They've changed and not in a good way. They usually just talk about hentai and stuff and I'm grown out of that. We used to play online games, binge watch dumb videos online, etc., and it was fun.
>I always make a big old booby of myself in live conversation
Don't feel bad since I do it too all the time. I've just kinda stopped caring unless they kick me out or something. And if they do, I move on.
>Do you think it's possible for me to make online friends, or should I stick to being by myself for the moment?
This is a decision you yourself need to make and I wish you the best with your journey no matter what choice you make. Personally, I'd try to find some sort of community that aligns with my interests and go from there which is how I found my current online friends. Who knows, you may find someone.
I agree. Compared to IRC channels which are about some certain topic, Discord channels are typically about the group of people themselves. A circlejerk, so to speak, and I'm not a part of it. Also, the "no idling or kick" rules on most Discord channels are annoying because I don't really have anything to say especially when the rule encourages the ADHD kids to flood the chat with their nonsense - looping back to the statement about it being a circlejerk.
Unless that topic is being dead, it doesn't make any sense. Even popular IRC channels are a yawnfest
You just need to find not stupid Discord servers, as a rule of thumb pretty much none of the ones advertised on places like 4ch are any good.
As someone who has been the owner of a few Discord servers, it is somewhat… unpleasant to have too many lurkers. I routinely prune inactive people. It makes one feel like being the groundskeeper for a cemetery otherwise.
That's interesting, I tend to be one of those lurkers, feeling the community is usually people that already know each other so full of inside jokes I'm not going to get and because well, I'm the newbie so I don't want to say something stupid and ruin the fun for everyone.
Maybe discord isn't just for me, huh
Imagine being at a party but all the people are standing awkwardly against the wall staring eerily at the few conversationalists, passed out drunk, or dead from alcohol poisoning. That's what it is like. It is very uncomfortable to be around. It feels like your home has been transformed into a zoo or terrarium by the silent voyeurs.
I met mine through irc, discord and game servers. Some I still are in contact with, some I’m not. I sometimes just sit and think about what our friendships could have been if I had tried harder to be with them ;-;
a-aren't we all friends?
Yes but not in a way that we all want, or not fully. Else we wouldn't be thinking so much about it
I met most of my online friends through e-mailing lists, Skype, and Discord. We are united by a common hobby.
>>6891>I'm flaky with all of my friends.
so am I, it's normal. I just don't have the energy to be around people all that often. The best thing to do is learn to say no, make it clear that you don't like being around people all the time. If they can't respect that about you they aren't your friend, simple as that.
This goes both ways though, don't blow them off all the time and expect them to keep trying with you
i've been ghosted, i have ghosted plenty of times
it's vital to keep everything 50/50, and maintain open communication
that is key to a lasting friendship
People I talk to on an extended basis connected through me through an interest like a video game. My last "friend" connected through me through WC3 and liked Space Station 13. I did not. I haven't talked to him in months.
I had someone I talked to about a dead game, but we stopped talking and the game died. It was also on WC3.
I don't prefer making friends because we eventually stop talking. I don't make any promises, and I made the promise not to have the last guy on my friends list. It is inevitable.
it sucks when you no longer have any goals or connections with the people around you
That's just life really. People pass through your life and you pass through theirs. A few good ones happen along the way that transcend the common interest(s) that got you started in the first place. Nothing unusual about it.
I guess it can suck. Still, I'm so glad I no longer talk to them.I don't like working towards keeping a relationship when these games are just so much more fun. I really hope to play WC3 again in some kind of private server.
I don't even really want friends either. I might have wanted friends a long time ago, but no longer is that the case. So many fun things to do today, and only when something requires a friend for safety, like hiking or something, would I want/need a friend.>>7247
It is inevitable. Even if they come and go, they leave me a person who knows more. I never knew about Space Station 13 before my friend, and he was nice. He helped me out in a WC3 game immensely, and even though I don't care much for these games, I still spent time on my own terms, had fun, and hopefully made our lives more interesting.
I had a friend I met on tumblr a few years back. We had a lot in common and it was fun to talk to them. For whatever reason their discord account was deleted and I haven't talked to them in a year. I tried reaching out to them on other sites but no response yet. It's always sad when a friend leaves suddenly.
I know this feeling and I hate it. It comes with the territory of socializing online a lot but it always hurts when it happens. People have a million and one reasons for disappearing out of the blue and I'm guilty of it myself even. But when it happens to me I always take it personally even if I know I shouldn't.
I joined a penpals app recently, to be able to practice language learning with people around the world. It's nice and all, the only downside is that I now have a big list of letter pending answer. Of course with some people I never made any connection but I do have a handful of somewhat good friends in there. I procrastinate answering because I want to take the time to write a nice letter and also because I want to write them in their language and I'm still far from competent.
What languages are you learning through it?
This breaks my heart. I've had hundreds of short-lived friendships online. From a few days to a year or two. I often wonder about them and hope they're okay.
I've dropped one person in the past, because my mental state didn't allow me to respond. Just… too much stuff going out to write a lengthy e-mail response.
To this day I hate myself for having done that, even if I and the person on the other side didn't "vibe" with each other completely.
I have also been dropped many times, but since I did that too I have no right to complain.
Damn dude reflex takes me back :D What name did you go by? The community was so small that I probably would recognize you
I have quite a few and 80% of them were acquired by them requesting a picture of my butt, what I do with them? I talk with them about whatever they wish and offer moral support when I'm able it's that or talking about anime, video games and posting cute stuff from pixiv or Twitter.
I think I might’ve been one of your email people, if you have one of the cock.li email address domains. Just in case that was you, sorry for not responding for so long, things were happening in my life for a long time. But soon I’ll finish things up and get your email back on my whitelist. :)
Why does everyone want to see your butt sushi roll? Is it nice?
I've kind of lost track of all the people I've emailed, but I use a waifu.club account sometimes. If you're someone I know, I don't mind. Take as long as you need. If you're not, well, I'm sure that person will understand.
Eh not really? It's at most average I just naturally attract horny people I guess if I make one or two peoples day better by posting it to them I don't see the harm either.
It never is, Sushi.
I made an online friend through a multiplayer game I play almost regularly, and I'm in my mid twenties. We've kept touch for at least a year by now.
It happens, the good ones just happen when you're not really looking for it. Social stuff is weird if you're only talking because you're trying to find someone that might work with you. Mostly you just talk once or twice and then you don't feel any reason to keep doing so, that it would only be trying to make something work for the sake of knowing someone. At least in my experience. If it's someone you meet by chance and talk to because you felt a resonation in them, it usually turns out to be something fun, because it was a genuine interest to get to know eachother that made you get in and keep touch.
Tbh if it didn't have any social repercussions I'd ask all my friends of the gender I like for pictures of their butts, because they are all cute as heck and butts is one of my favourite things in the world, and one can never have too many pictures of butts, and butts of people you actually know are always the cutest and most desirable butts.
If I was a person who used social media and such I would probably ask people I didn't know (and therefore no need to care about repercussions) that were too cute to withstand for butt pics too, if I had had a beer or two at my computer station.
I've primarily had online friends for most of my life (im 25 now) but I'm slowly beginning to lose interest in it. Of course I cherish the friends I have now that are online, but they feel bottlenecked by being limited to having access to an internet connection and I can't help but long for IRL friends who I can bother against their will and they can return the favor. Whereas online, you'd just close the chat window and ghost 'em if they bothered you. Someone to go get coffee with and eat lunch with would be nice. It'd be worth going broke for imo even though I am not made of money. What loneliness does to a man ;-;
I think you should definitely rejoin them, but that's just my opinion.
I'm considering it, its a difficult decision for me.
To me it sounds like you're overanalyzing the problem, when it's not something you can figure out in theory in advance. You will only know how it feels when you're actually in there again, when you get to know how they respond to you being back. If you decide based on how you imagine it to be likely to go, you might be deciding based on total falsehood. It's just an imaginary possible route, not reality.
It doesn't even have to be something you're deciding so firmly on either, you can just decide that you will go back in once on just a visit (during actual busy hours), see how it feels. Then actually decide from there, when you have something emotionally tactile to work from.
Also unless you left in some kind of Bilbo-esque puff of smoke whilst flipping dual wielded F-birds, I don't see how it could be inapproriate. From what I can tell you left them, they didn't make you leave. Sometimes people need time away, that's not something weird or disrespectful. I'd wager they'd just be happy to see you back, happy to see that you're alive and well.
Thank you for your well written response, I found it helpful - and no I didn't leave on bad terms so there's no problem there.
>It doesn't even have to be something you're deciding so firmly on either, you can just decide that you will go back in once on just a visit (during actual busy hours), see how it feels. Then actually decide from there, when you have something emotionally tactile to work from.
I'll have to work on building up the nerve, the sudden change to my daily nothing's is a lot to take on for someone like myself. In all honesty, I have an issue with feeling I won't have anything worthwhile to contribute to a server with relatively active people especially after all this time.
I've been on the opposite end of this situation, if they're anything like me then your friends will be very happy to have you back. A year is nothing between old friends, it's sad when you don't know if they'll return though.
>>11874>work on building nerve, sudden change to daily nothings is a lot to take on for someone like myself
Feel you there, a bit of a semi-hermit myself, though I've been getting slightly better recently.
A tip for the nerves though, cold showers. It's weird, but it works (for me at least, YMMV). Has the same shape/mechanics as most social situation nervousness stuffs, as in you're very anxious before you jump in, it feels harsh just the first few seconds but then it's not really a big deal once you've gotten used to the temp. And feels easier to do with each time, both the anticipation & first few harsh seconds lose their bite gradually.
Why am I hesitant to rejoin the server. A normal person wouldn't have thought twice and just went in and said hi
Making friends online and offline is hard. I have too much trauma and am too into weird niche interests to make friends with IRL normies, but online most people who share my interests tend to hate me for characteristics about myself they don't politically agree with so it's just kinda lonely.>>11936
That's normal to be hesitant. Please don't be so down on yourself.
Just do it. This is not my advice, though.
This is a direct order from the yakuza.
sorry to hear that.
have you recovered from that break?