I have some online friends.
Some from a hobby group, some from a game server. Most of those are more of the same place same time kind of friends though.
I have a few much closer friends who I either met in irc or knew irl until they moved elsewhere.
I just joined the hobby group and turned up, same with the game server. With both of those I do the relative activity.
The ones I got on irc I keep up with emails and chats, but irc has since been killed by discord so that's unfortunate.
The closer friends I just talk about bullshit for hours, or maybe sometimes really introspective important stuff but I only do that with special people.
Forums and imageboards are great for instantly talking or sharing information but shitty at making actual relations.
You need to find an environment that has a *small* number of people with a common interest. Lots of people or lack of topic will sink you before leaving harbour. If you can try and get into something that has only recently started, as getting into an already existing social system is a lot harder.
Also emails are actually pretty good for talking, despite no one ever using them.
All said and done, I'm hardly a popular person so I shouldn't be giving advice.
I guess I do have online friends. The oldest ones I got through IRC when I joined Linux related IRC channels on freenode and EFNet, then there is that small clique I became a part of through filesharing forums.
The most recent friendly relationships that I have formed have been through /vg/ and video games, but that lot can be a bit depressing and mentally unstable. So not great for someone that is sensitive to that kind of stuff.
For someone that has the time, I can highly recommend small (it is easier with small ones) and active IRC channels related to topics that you enjoy. Like join their IRC channel if you use a less used distribution or operating system. I'm not fond of the service myself, but I guess discord is an ok place for people that don't want to leave an IRC client up during all waking hours.
Since I got more lasting relationships from filesharing forums, topical and hobby forums can be a nice place to gain friends. For me that would probably be somewhere like amibay, vogons, or other forums that focus on discussing topics that I enjoy.
If you would be interested in IRC, the one for this site is nice. You might not get immediate replies, but people there seem to be pretty decent. I haven't seen any drama there yet, and people seem to keep a friendly tone with eachother.
>>3307>don't want to leave an IRC client up during all waking hours
That problem can be solved by using an irc bouncer.
My only online friends are the regulars in the sushichan irc. It's a shame that you don't have time for irc, because it's quite comfy joining a channel and having old, familiar nicks greet you warmly. I second what >>3307
said: the people in our channel are pretty decent and friendly.
This is a cute post
I have some online friends I met years ago when posting on a mailing list. We have been shitposting for so long that I even went and met some of them IRL sometimes which was fun.
Have you tried >>>/lounge/1640
or the sushichan IRC as some rolls suggested?
I had your very same problem a while ago when I couldn't commit to online posting. Sometimes it's hard to come up with stuff to say. It's okay.
I prefer sushi rollymous sites, there is a guaranteed cultural common ground and a sense of camaraderie that I am emotionally dependent upon. I don't like having to try to fit into preexisting cliques.
I have still come close to making actual connections through imageboards from time to time, though. I even had a sorta kinda internet boyfriend last year, met him on a chan. Laugh all you want at what little we had, that breakup fucked me up quite a bit.
Since it was advised in the thread I've been logging on to the IRC every time I've turned on my computer, but I've only seen about four posts in it. I guess my free time doesn't intersect many other sushi rolls, or I'm not there for long enough. I don't know what I would say should anyone turn up though, so it's probably for the best.
I had a look at the lounge thread, it all seemed to be either sushi rollymous boards, leading to the same problem I have already, or discord rooms. I know I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but I really dislike discord. It presents the same problem as IRC (Me being socially incompetent), plus privacy-wise, it's basically facebook. I'm sorry for making excuses for your suggestions sushi roll, thanks for being helpful.
Man I want a high res of that if you have it.
I also hate discord with a passion. What annoys me the most is the terrible loading jokes.
Every time you need to open it it says something like "loading dank memes" and it just flips my switch.
I won't give you any advice though, I don't think I can suggest anything helpful.
that link is broken but I used the .jpg code to source one.
Thanks sushi, you're the best.
Yeah the client is actually pretty decent I'll admit. I don't like the formatting but the vast majority of people prefer that style now anyway.
I'm kinda past the point of caring about data anymore so thats the most legitimate problem essentially shrugged off.
Sort of, but not really. I've been using IRC regularly for years now and it's how I meet the people I get along best with. Unfortunately those friendships don't usually last. Still, I manage to get along well with people on irc most of the time at least in the channels I'm in.
Every so often people approach me who think I sound interesting and want to be friends, but they usually loose interest pretty quickly. This is something I've kinda had to get used to and gave up expecting these sort of friends to stick around long.
I recently started hanging out on the sushi irc. If you want someone to chat with about anything you're always welcome to message me or one of the other people there. I'm sure anyone there would be accommodating. And don't worry about saying dumb or weird things, I've done that more times than I can count and I can assure you no one cares. Everyone does it.
You could also try discord, a lot of people seem to be using that these days.
Guide to #sushigirl:
2. Randomly pick a couple names from who's online
3. Send poka
4. Wait for them to come in and start a conversation
5. Join in
I was on the IRC yesterday and someone linked to >>3315
and said to show myself, but right at that moment a mysterious event happened and I had to vanish without a trace so I could deal with it. Never mind, I'll try the IRC again at the weekend.>>3322> *roll has been invited to #sushigirl> <roll> Hi, what did you want?> <Me> Hi> <roll> Hello.> <roll> Did you need something?> <Me> uh> <Me> What's your favourite animal?> *roll has quit
I think thats probably not a good idea.
For chatting with friends and such, I will stick with IRC for as long as possible. I'll reluctantly use Discord, but won't be as active there as I am on IRC. Simply due Discord being a single point of failure, no good clients, and for some reason, it is too heavy to run well enough on my sandy bridge era laptop. It makes a very noticeable impact on the general performance of the laptop. Works well enough on my newer desktop computers, but I still find it annoying to use.
The desktop client doesn't run on all operating systems either, so it isn't as portable. When I run it in Firefox ESR, I have issues where I cannot switch between channels. I'm stuck in whichever channel I landed in when I opened the Discord page.
For me, IRC is more than good enough, and the large selection of clients will run on anything from contemporary 80s computers, and more modern ones. You can't simply use IRC by joining for 5 minutes to catch up on messages tho. You have to leave the client running if you want to get in on the current conversations. For me that's not a big deal since I run weechat on my server, so I never have to disconnect. When I started out with IRC, I only used it in the evening once I was done with my console video games and outside, and wanted to be with my PC, so keeping a client running 24/7 isn't a requirement I think. It isn't like I scroll back to read the entire history on Discord either.
For talking about games, I haven't been able to find an IRC channel for it yet. Would love one for talking about old fashioned first person shooters and other games on IRC, but I expect I won't find good ones with chill people like there are on some Discord groups. IRC is excellent for free software and linux talk. I'd say the majority of currently maintained GNU/Linux distributions have active IRC channels.
I think your example depends a lot on who you talk to. Different people will respond in different ways. Some cold some warm. Meeting new people is like a roll of the dice, you might not get the number you're hoping for on the first second or even third try. Keep rolling however and you'll get it eventually.
>>3323> <Me> What's your favourite animal?> *roll has quit
I met a group of people through an online orchestra I took part in. We had to discuss parts and such, which we did over discord. Even after the project was over we all still chatted on the discord server, and we still throw in messages from time to time. It's more like a small textboard than a discord server now. Those are the only people I will consider "online friends".
I am not sure if how many online friends I have. I think friendship as such is a two way process. So, I guess I could say I would be happy to consider some people friends, but I am not sure how they feel about me? Either way, I met them mostly on the sushigirl IRC, or they are people I used to know but moved away from in real life (does that count?).
I did try other communities but they were always too big and intimidating though. I mostly keep in touch with Discord, Telegram or IRC, though I haven't really been active on that lately…
I really recommend other people try the IRC however! A bouncer can probably even run on a cheap android phone if you cannot afford a server to run it on.>>3302
I think it's possible. Realistically, misunderstandings can be very awkward, but due to the nature of sushigirl I think everyone will be really understanding and friendly.
I used to constantly have online friends up until around 2014. I've lost most of what made me who I was and have fallen into a deep depression. I thought about making a discord or trying to talk in IRC again.
That sounds like a pretty good idea. Some social interaction can help with depression.
>>3302>Do you have any online friends sushi? How did you get them? What do you like to do with them?
Mid 2000s: Bummed around on websites like newgrounds, gprime, themushroomkingdom (and I can't believe they're all still around…)
Mid–late 2000s: Got into romhacking, especially for super mario world for the SNES. I was active on the website smwcentral, both forums and IRC, and would talk to the other regulars often. This included some of the forum mods and at one point I had responsibilities over some subforums and for quality checking of content submitted to the website.
Mid 2000s–mid 2010s: Would go to 4chan every now and then, had a big lull in my frequency of visits in the early 2010s
Late 2000s–early 2010s: Read the somethingawful forums near-religiously, no online friends from that though
Early 2010s: Active on a my little pony forum full of somethingawful goons (no joke). Posted on the forums a lot, went on IRC a lot, and this was probably the time in my life I had my closest online friends. In this community I was active in a bunch of (but not all of) insular subgroups, each subgroup having some overlap with the others, and people who disliked the people in other subgroups tended to stick to the more fringe groups and not participate in the rest of the site. There was a lot of drama over many things that I barely remember now. Sometimes I look at my folder of OC for that site and get wistful, but I wouldn't go back.
Brief period of about 2015-6: Started reading lesswrong and slate star codex, lurked rationalist tumblr a lot, stopped doing that because I got sick of tumblr but I still read lesswrong and slate star codex today. I had known about lesswrong in the past but didn't look at it often and never participated in the community.
Mid 2010s–now: Mostly stick to lurking about 3 threads on somethingawful, lurk in some reddits, lurk and post on a few sushi rollymous imageboards, mainly 8chan boards. Have a bunch of OC for 8chan boards which I like to look at every now and then. Dropped contact with all online friends slowly, basically just reduced the frequency of logging into IRC until it was nothing.
Now: Got into a private tracker for anime because I was fortunate enough to see a thread on 8chan advertising that applications were open. I lurk a bunch of anime IRCs now, but rarely say anything in them. I just stay there to be a little more informed about anime shit.
When I had online friends I mostly just talked to them. Every so often I played minecraft with some of the my little pony forum people. With a few, I opened up about my feelings about various things to them, and they in turn to me. I don't regret doing that, but it was emotionally intense at the time and I couldn't keep that sort of thing up indefinitely. I am not looking for online friends now. Small sushi rollymous imageboards are intimate enough for me.
A lot of my shifts from one website to another track with ideological shifts that I undergo, which contributes to me tending to cut off contact with one group of people after I settle into the next.
>a goon ending up here
wow life sure is interesting sometimes
You sound a lot like some of my friends, but I know you're not because you were late to a bunch of stuff.
I finally decided to join the IRC, it's pretty slow, but I'm glad I finally went on IRC, registered a name and all that stuff. I feel really silly for putting off IRC for all these years.
Chat can be sporadic so do come back more often! Users are spread across many time zones and continents.
which IRC channels are you on?
I don't have any hobbies, and I fucking hate discord, so finding a good IRC channel is tough
I mostly lurking sushigirl IRC and lainchan IRC.
I don't. In fact, I haven't really gone out of my way to make them at all. I'm not disliked in the places I go, I know I've hopped back on one IRC channel and have had the whole group welcome me back, but I try not to get too close to others.
I've been hanging out mostly on sushi rollymous sites as well, and while I do go on one forum, I don't try to make friends there either (Not because it's bad, the people there are super nice. I just don't think to make a connection).
Often, all you need is just one to break the silence. Most of the IRC channels that I am in tend to be quiet, but once someone starts talking, more show up to talk. Same is true for the discord groups that I am part of. I feel like I can't get to know people at all in 24/7 activity groups, and the same was true for IRC when I was in those kind of channels a long time ago. IRC do need new users tho, hard to find people willing to install an IRC client instead of other options.
Slow is good.
Slow is good and slow is nice, the more people can relax and say what they actually mean to say.
I make a few buddies on chats and games, but it rarely lasts more than a few weeks. I like posting around the quiet chans cause you are my only friends in my loneliest moments, but I need that meatspace connection to want to keep an attributable friendship going.
If you do have friends, why? What is it about friends that you like? What makes up for all the hassle?
-Sincerely a friendless freak
I have a few online "friends", and I have tried to make more over the last several years.
All of them came from video games. Mostly tete-a-tete connections. I try to avoid gaming communities because they are extremely toxic environments that naturally smoke out all the good people anyway.
Unless there is some sort of hobby that I would share with the person, I had found it to be nearly impossible to form a closer relationship. As >>4080
said, it just goes nowhere after the generic start. There is nothing that would keep the conversation going.
Also, most people just have that socialization spike when they want to become friends intentionally. It's like jerking off. They would jerk off together with you and then never return again.
I found it best to try and make friends unintentionally. Don't just add somebody who is in search of a friend. Just join some kind of community and do it in a more natural way.
Even if you're not very good with communities, you are still forced much less than you would have been otherwise had it happened offline. You can just lurk around and join whenever you feel like to. Very little pressure.
I used to meet some people from a tiny 8chan imageboard irl a few years ago. We went out a few times and chatted and drank until 8am in the next morning. It was a great time. Sometimes I miss them.
>>4716>They would jerk off together with you and then never return again
Okay sushis, it's time for the annual Sushigirl circle jerk, time to whip out your dicks girls!! I gonna get real comfy in here.
Jokes are over now, I do agree that it's better to just hang out in communities online and not be shy. I once met a girl online because I admitted to being like 17/18 and not yet kissed a girl and she was really interested in that. I was too paranoid and that buddyship ended though since we drifted away.
It was a 40 year old guy, sushi.
Never made online friends because I simply don't have the energy to maintain them. I constantly read online about people complaining about ghosting and that kind of stuff and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone, because my time in my computer is mostly spent either posting on sushi rollymous websites or consuming japanese media.
I ghosted my real life friends and then they never attempted to contact me again
guess they weren't my real friends
ghosting is a test of true friendship – if they don't attempt to get back in touch with you, you weren't really friends to begin with
that's not how it works kid
>>4744>don't have the energy to maintain them
Same here. Out of sight, out of mind. Relationships today are incredibly demanding. Instant messaging and effortless social exchange let people expect at least weekly updates. otherwise you degrade from "close friend" to "just another acquaintance".
I wish I would care enough to prevent myself from acting like that instead of occasionally regretting and forgetting about it.
For example once I don't enjoy an online game anymore, because it becomes too tedious or difficult, I usually just stop playing regardless of contacts and clan memberships. When I'm already unproductive, it should at least be an enjoyable waste of time.
This sums up the dilemma pretty well. Plenty of friends have complained to me that they have trouble keeping in touch with everyone, especially when they also have to juggle that with irregular work schedules.>>4750
This might be why your friends haven't contacted you. I've sometimes gone for months without seeing someone because I was too scared to take initiative, only for them to apologize later that they didn't get back in touch sooner.
I've made quite a few through mutual interests, I can generally get some video games, movies, streams etc going. I'm also a part of a circle that stopped online correspondence a while ago, but not before some real life meetups were set up and ended up with some proper lasting friendships. I even helped one guy move furniture into his new apartment and he returned the favor during my own move.
I was going to write that I don't have any, but actually my oldest friend is actually an online one. We've kept in touch so long I forgot she wasn't an IRL one. We used to chat on MSN like every day for years, life slows down, just kinda rekindle maybe once twice a year and check up on eachother but it's good that way too. Met on a manga forum that shut down, funny part is I didn't even read that much manga, found the link on the back of a freebie manga chapter demo at the bookstore. Met (virtually) a lot of nice people that way.
Nowadays I don't meet new people online, forums are mostly dead and if not more toxic than before, chans are great for what they are but not for meeting people. >>4750
Doesn't that imply that you never really were a real friend either, since you aren't making effort to contact them too? Things like that go both ways.
>>4773>Doesn't that imply that you never really were a real friend either, since you aren't making effort to contact them too?
Don't you get sick of being the person to message other people first all the time? And then when you stop, people don't message you. It sucks. It means they merely put up with you, but can't be bothered to reach out when you stop initiating contact.
I only have a few people that I consider friends after all these years. I have met a lot of people and still talk to some of them through social networks but I don't really consider them friends, just people that often refer or talk to you out of nowhere and have no intimacy with them. Recently I met someone that I do consider my online friend, we've been talking for more than a year everyday and it's really nice. We get along well even though our opinions and taste differ constantly, he's a good pal overall and we both like the same lewd shit so we share doujins and art constantly, really cool. Last online friend that I had that was a girl ended up ghosting me pretty hard, we used to play WoW together and I kind of fell in love with her, it was all really nice and we used to share the music we liked, we would hop on discord and use the musicbot to listen to music together, really cool, but then out of nowhere she stopped showing up and years passed, it's been almost 3 years now and still no signs of her, it sucks really hard, even more because I still remember her and all, her memories feel so vivid even though it's already been a long time. After that I've been scared of getting new friends, don't want to get ghosted and be alone like that, it sucks really bad. Also after a semi-bad e-relationship I still don't know what to feel, she was such a nice girl and I still remember/miss her but I know she doesn't feel the same since I've been seeing she has a nice life going on, I'm just glad she's been doing well and if I ever get the chance to talk to her again I would tell her that I'm sorry. That's pretty much my story with online friends, the few friends I have I treasured them dearly and try to not be an awkward piece of trash with them.
I still speak to my online friends from 10 to 14 years ago. Honestly, I tend to prefer them over my IRL friends on the basis that there's no pretension and they let you know if you've made them upset instead of just letting it stew and causing drama down the road.
how do I become someone that is cherished even without presence
>>4797>It means they merely put up with you
For someone like me, it means lack of self esteem. I always think I'm a bother to other people, so I never initiate contact. I never invite people over, and I never ask others if they want to do stuff. I don't mean to be like this, but I just am, and I do love it when people want to do stuff, but I'm too unsure to make the first step myself.
I haven't been to this chan for ages, also I'm typing this drunk. Friends friends friends, they are a dime a dozen, always wanted to have something a little more, we all do. The fact is, everything in life takes us to make the effort without complaining, it's just unfair like that, don't expect to be revered or rewarded either, but people will love you regardless if you give a shit. From my honesty.
Similar situation except they weren’t my true friends, jut similar life paths, I enjoy being alone though so, good luck mate.
I have a bunch of online friends.
A few are twitch streamers with only one or two viewers whom I talk to a lot.
Recently I met an online friend I made on 4chan /g/ like 7 years ago for the first time (IRL). We used to build websites and stuff together.
He's now married and works for Yahoo in California. When he came to Germany for work stuff recently he gave me a heads up and I showed him around Berlin.
currently indev lightweight client for discord. shows lots of promise
beware, i've heard you can get banned for using alternate clients. i dont see why devs would do that though.
I have 3 online friends. One of them lives in my city, so I've hung out with them once or twice. The other ones I've never met. We talk mostly on IRC. I wish we could transition to Discord because it's a lot more convenient, but they wouldn't be interested and it's easier for new people to discover an IRC channel than a private Discord server. We mostly talk about everyday stuff and goof off. It's really nice to have people to talk to.
>>4850>i dont see why devs would do that though
It removes control from the Discord team, they can't cram their game store, paywalled features or other such crap down the throats of 3rd party client users. Supporting multiple backends is even worse for them because it greatly reduces the barrier to using something else instead of Discord.
This behavior isn't isolated to Discord either, most for-profit chat setups absolutely detest unofficial clients and will ban you at the slightest sign that you're not using the official application.