Honestly I'm more afraid that I've become the boring one in these relationships. Most of my friends are doing stuff, developing their adult lifes (house, partner, that stuff), going on holidays or event and what not. On the other hand, I go to work, and go back home again. I don't do anything worth talking about and as a result I have nothing to talk about.
Everytime I hang out with friends, even the ones I've known for years (hell, even with family) I get nervous about whether it will become awkward because I can't hold a conversation. I'm becoming worse and worse at this, like I'm losing the ability to express or even hold an opinion on anything.
Sorry for not being comfy guys
I found that I actually enjoy overhearing other people having interesting conversations rather than having the conversations myself. It's like you get to meet multiple people at once without having to hold a conversation where you have to act interested and polite! すてきですね。
Unfortunately, other people's conversations are rarely interesting.
There was this chat group, I guess these days would be done on Discord (in fact we had one as a parallel channel but it was almost never used), which consisted mostly on rollymous sites users in our language. It started as a well known project in the biggest of these IB and once the project was finished it independized as a community. I joined a couple of years later, those days I was very depressed and I lurked said IB in late hours when there is few activity, when I was contacted by a member, sushi roll L. He was not an originalfag but quite notourious there.
It took me some time to understand the group's vibe and to start participating as I'm not very good conversating, as I grew fondly of it I was using less and less sushi rollymous sites and enjoyed reading the chat log in dead time at school, in mornings and before sleeping; months later most of my vacation good memories were from the group. It had something that made it addictive.
L was a paranoid guy who didn't reveal himself, he had cycles of disappearing with new accounts. The first times he did this I was kinda nervous since he brought me there and most of my "connection" to the group was through him; later I adapted and grew of this stupid worry. We didn't talk so much personally (I almost never DM'd anyone) but I liked him.
To put it short, there were some dramas behind the group which I wasn't aware of (since I didn't interact personally with other members) until it was too late. The "cycles" of L intensified and after giving some hints he deleted his account and never came back. By then I would already grew an identity (or "character") in the group so I didn't worry, but it took me some time to realize he disappeared for good. Because of this and other stuff, the group started to become stale and we memed that its end was near. A new generation of members came in but I didn't feel in home anymore, I became more aggresive and paranoid and after some time of silence I deleted my account to never come back as well. When I think about this I feel like a friendly lady.
I felt kind guilty for not being more expressive then, not that it would have changed the results but there are some things I wanted to talk about to L and I don't have a better person to do it; although I didn't get to knew him as well as others I thought that we were kinda similar. There are times I have recognized him in rollymous boards and times I'm just being a schizo. I know the group is alive and will stay good, I watch some screen captures of it when I'm sad.
When the group was decaying I started a Twitter and made friends in a certain community but later got suspended and didn't want to make a new account. I talk with a few every now and then but I don't want something similar to happen again. There is a person there which alongside L can have my trust though I don't know their face.
Since then I have returned to sushi rollymous websites and I have thought of ending my e-friendships, the fear of pain is real. It would be a problem though since I'm not good making friends IRL…
Sorry for the novel, sushi.
How did you lock your course? I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, like I just can't work up the motivation to be happy; and the fact that I can't makes me feel even worse.
Well, what are you dreams?
People around you is an ideal, but ambition and a dream are what make you feel centered.
I don't have dreams either, but its important to set your eyes on something.
So I set it on learning things.
It's telling, to not have anything to share.
You are alone in this world. But you still have things to do.
I don't. Part of the reason is that I simply doesn't like to type online, especially when I'm on my phone. Also, I'm very procrastinating and posting a comment online is usually just too much work, as strange as it may sound.
I don't know how to keep online friends. My only interests are niche and all the information I know is, for the most part, very specific and not useful for day to day life. Also I don't like consuming media as much as I enjoy creating it. I feel like other people mostly just drain me of the inspiration to create, and I can't inspire them to create either.
I have tried multiple times, but end up losing contact. Maybe because I utterly fail at understanding why do I want from them or what they would want from me.
First convo goes ok but then is just friendly hellos and whats ups that get stale rather quickly
I move often so most of my friends, even if I met them IRL, are online friends. The ones that I have never seen are friends of those IRL friends and leftovers from an old circlejerk group that went too far. Each city has their own group chat and I play/chat with the ones that are online.
The circlejerk is unhealhy. We hate each other, fight everyday but stay together for God knows what. I kind of like them but I don't trust them, they probably feel the same.
Found this site while looking for the source of your pic, I hope we can be friends.
Does anybody wanna be my friend?
ok sounds good
what's your preferred form of contact
I don't have friends IRL or IRC… IRL it's really hard to find/approach anyone that might be interested in the same things as you. Online the hard part is maintaining those friendships as the online world moves fast and your average internet users attention span is much shorter. You constantly need to worry about how to keep those people interested in you instead of fading/ghosting you and moving on.
My relationships have been kind of weird since a long time, never really had any irl friends due to being a pretty quiet and shy person, only friends i really made were from MMOs always, i feel it's way easier to make friends from some silly in-game guild rather than forums or IRC channels for me, so that's where i focused on. After 7 or so years of meeting new people through different games i ended only really talk with 2 friends nowadays though, i could never maintain contact with someone for more than 1 year or so before we slowly stopped talking with each other outside of those 2, my problem is that i always end drifting away from the circle of friends, which is probably my fault for worrying too much about what to say instead of interacting more…i kind of just dissapear from a server/channel after i feel like i'm more of a specter reading conversations instead of an active member of a community. I have been also kind of a NEET for some years so it's kind of hard to talk with normal working people and understand their daily life. I wish i had more people to talk with through the day, and i miss some people i used to talk a lot with, but all in all i'm grateful for the 2 friends i have, relationships are kind of weird.
Yeah… there would be times I would go inactive for a while. But this time I had the resolution, so my first time deleting everything there would be my last. I kinda regret but I think that it is better to not try to come back, some of them disappeared time after me as well.
Discord communities or online communities aren't worth the time.
I beg to differ, found most of my online friends through Discord servers.
But I'm certain it varies depending on what type of person you are.
Found most success when pursuing pals who share niche interests/hobbies, since the communities are relatively limited.
Got nothing from massive, general groups.
The more concentrated, the better I believe.
Wish IRCs were overall still active though.. feels like a continuous deadend every time I enter a channel.
this is pretty much my situation
>>3302>Do you have any online friends sushi
I do, but I'm not too sure I want to keep them.
>How did you get them
Just random communities I joined one time or another, really.
>What do you like to do with them
Nothing anymore. They've changed and not in a good way. They usually just talk about hentai and stuff and I'm grown out of that. We used to play online games, binge watch dumb videos online, etc., and it was fun.
>I always make a big old booby of myself in live conversation
Don't feel bad since I do it too all the time. I've just kinda stopped caring unless they kick me out or something. And if they do, I move on.
>Do you think it's possible for me to make online friends, or should I stick to being by myself for the moment?
This is a decision you yourself need to make and I wish you the best with your journey no matter what choice you make. Personally, I'd try to find some sort of community that aligns with my interests and go from there which is how I found my current online friends. Who knows, you may find someone.
I agree. Compared to IRC channels which are about some certain topic, Discord channels are typically about the group of people themselves. A circlejerk, so to speak, and I'm not a part of it. Also, the "no idling or kick" rules on most Discord channels are annoying because I don't really have anything to say especially when the rule encourages the ADHD kids to flood the chat with their nonsense - looping back to the statement about it being a circlejerk.
Unless that topic is being dead, it doesn't make any sense. Even popular IRC channels are a yawnfest
You just need to find not stupid Discord servers, as a rule of thumb pretty much none of the ones advertised on places like 4ch are any good.
As someone who has been the owner of a few Discord servers, it is somewhat… unpleasant to have too many lurkers. I routinely prune inactive people. It makes one feel like being the groundskeeper for a cemetery otherwise.
That's interesting, I tend to be one of those lurkers, feeling the community is usually people that already know each other so full of inside jokes I'm not going to get and because well, I'm the newbie so I don't want to say something stupid and ruin the fun for everyone.
Maybe discord isn't just for me, huh
Imagine being at a party but all the people are standing awkwardly against the wall staring eerily at the few conversationalists, passed out drunk, or dead from alcohol poisoning. That's what it is like. It is very uncomfortable to be around. It feels like your home has been transformed into a zoo or terrarium by the silent voyeurs.
I met mine through irc, discord and game servers. Some I still are in contact with, some I’m not. I sometimes just sit and think about what our friendships could have been if I had tried harder to be with them ;-;
a-aren't we all friends?
Yes but not in a way that we all want, or not fully. Else we wouldn't be thinking so much about it
I met most of my online friends through e-mailing lists, Skype, and Discord. We are united by a common hobby.
>>6891>I'm flaky with all of my friends.
so am I, it's normal. I just don't have the energy to be around people all that often. The best thing to do is learn to say no, make it clear that you don't like being around people all the time. If they can't respect that about you they aren't your friend, simple as that.
This goes both ways though, don't blow them off all the time and expect them to keep trying with you
i've been ghosted, i have ghosted plenty of times
it's vital to keep everything 50/50, and maintain open communication
that is key to a lasting friendship
People I talk to on an extended basis connected through me through an interest like a video game. My last "friend" connected through me through WC3 and liked Space Station 13. I did not. I haven't talked to him in months.
I had someone I talked to about a dead game, but we stopped talking and the game died. It was also on WC3.
I don't prefer making friends because we eventually stop talking. I don't make any promises, and I made the promise not to have the last guy on my friends list. It is inevitable.
it sucks when you no longer have any goals or connections with the people around you
That's just life really. People pass through your life and you pass through theirs. A few good ones happen along the way that transcend the common interest(s) that got you started in the first place. Nothing unusual about it.
I guess it can suck. Still, I'm so glad I no longer talk to them.I don't like working towards keeping a relationship when these games are just so much more fun. I really hope to play WC3 again in some kind of private server.
I don't even really want friends either. I might have wanted friends a long time ago, but no longer is that the case. So many fun things to do today, and only when something requires a friend for safety, like hiking or something, would I want/need a friend.>>7247
It is inevitable. Even if they come and go, they leave me a person who knows more. I never knew about Space Station 13 before my friend, and he was nice. He helped me out in a WC3 game immensely, and even though I don't care much for these games, I still spent time on my own terms, had fun, and hopefully made our lives more interesting.
I had a friend I met on tumblr a few years back. We had a lot in common and it was fun to talk to them. For whatever reason their discord account was deleted and I haven't talked to them in a year. I tried reaching out to them on other sites but no response yet. It's always sad when a friend leaves suddenly.
I know this feeling and I hate it. It comes with the territory of socializing online a lot but it always hurts when it happens. People have a million and one reasons for disappearing out of the blue and I'm guilty of it myself even. But when it happens to me I always take it personally even if I know I shouldn't.
I joined a penpals app recently, to be able to practice language learning with people around the world. It's nice and all, the only downside is that I now have a big list of letter pending answer. Of course with some people I never made any connection but I do have a handful of somewhat good friends in there. I procrastinate answering because I want to take the time to write a nice letter and also because I want to write them in their language and I'm still far from competent.
What languages are you learning through it?
This breaks my heart. I've had hundreds of short-lived friendships online. From a few days to a year or two. I often wonder about them and hope they're okay.
I've dropped one person in the past, because my mental state didn't allow me to respond. Just… too much stuff going out to write a lengthy e-mail response.
To this day I hate myself for having done that, even if I and the person on the other side didn't "vibe" with each other completely.
I have also been dropped many times, but since I did that too I have no right to complain.