It never is, Sushi.
I made an online friend through a multiplayer game I play almost regularly, and I'm in my mid twenties. We've kept touch for at least a year by now.
It happens, the good ones just happen when you're not really looking for it. Social stuff is weird if you're only talking because you're trying to find someone that might work with you. Mostly you just talk once or twice and then you don't feel any reason to keep doing so, that it would only be trying to make something work for the sake of knowing someone. At least in my experience. If it's someone you meet by chance and talk to because you felt a resonation in them, it usually turns out to be something fun, because it was a genuine interest to get to know eachother that made you get in and keep touch.
Tbh if it didn't have any social repercussions I'd ask all my friends of the gender I like for pictures of their butts, because they are all cute as heck and butts is one of my favourite things in the world, and one can never have too many pictures of butts, and butts of people you actually know are always the cutest and most desirable butts.
If I was a person who used social media and such I would probably ask people I didn't know (and therefore no need to care about repercussions) that were too cute to withstand for butt pics too, if I had had a beer or two at my computer station.
I've primarily had online friends for most of my life (im 25 now) but I'm slowly beginning to lose interest in it. Of course I cherish the friends I have now that are online, but they feel bottlenecked by being limited to having access to an internet connection and I can't help but long for IRL friends who I can bother against their will and they can return the favor. Whereas online, you'd just close the chat window and ghost 'em if they bothered you. Someone to go get coffee with and eat lunch with would be nice. It'd be worth going broke for imo even though I am not made of money. What loneliness does to a man ;-;
I think you should definitely rejoin them, but that's just my opinion.
I'm considering it, its a difficult decision for me.
To me it sounds like you're overanalyzing the problem, when it's not something you can figure out in theory in advance. You will only know how it feels when you're actually in there again, when you get to know how they respond to you being back. If you decide based on how you imagine it to be likely to go, you might be deciding based on total falsehood. It's just an imaginary possible route, not reality.
It doesn't even have to be something you're deciding so firmly on either, you can just decide that you will go back in once on just a visit (during actual busy hours), see how it feels. Then actually decide from there, when you have something emotionally tactile to work from.
Also unless you left in some kind of Bilbo-esque puff of smoke whilst flipping dual wielded F-birds, I don't see how it could be inapproriate. From what I can tell you left them, they didn't make you leave. Sometimes people need time away, that's not something weird or disrespectful. I'd wager they'd just be happy to see you back, happy to see that you're alive and well.
Thank you for your well written response, I found it helpful - and no I didn't leave on bad terms so there's no problem there.
>It doesn't even have to be something you're deciding so firmly on either, you can just decide that you will go back in once on just a visit (during actual busy hours), see how it feels. Then actually decide from there, when you have something emotionally tactile to work from.
I'll have to work on building up the nerve, the sudden change to my daily nothing's is a lot to take on for someone like myself. In all honesty, I have an issue with feeling I won't have anything worthwhile to contribute to a server with relatively active people especially after all this time.
I've been on the opposite end of this situation, if they're anything like me then your friends will be very happy to have you back. A year is nothing between old friends, it's sad when you don't know if they'll return though.
>>11874>work on building nerve, sudden change to daily nothings is a lot to take on for someone like myself
Feel you there, a bit of a semi-hermit myself, though I've been getting slightly better recently.
A tip for the nerves though, cold showers. It's weird, but it works (for me at least, YMMV). Has the same shape/mechanics as most social situation nervousness stuffs, as in you're very anxious before you jump in, it feels harsh just the first few seconds but then it's not really a big deal once you've gotten used to the temp. And feels easier to do with each time, both the anticipation & first few harsh seconds lose their bite gradually.
Why am I hesitant to rejoin the server. A normal person wouldn't have thought twice and just went in and said hi
Making friends online and offline is hard. I have too much trauma and am too into weird niche interests to make friends with IRL normies, but online most people who share my interests tend to hate me for characteristics about myself they don't politically agree with so it's just kinda lonely.>>11936
That's normal to be hesitant. Please don't be so down on yourself.
Just do it. This is not my advice, though.
This is a direct order from the yakuza.
sorry to hear that.
have you recovered from that break?
Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm starting to think that kind of fidelity doesn't exist anymore or never existed. Somehow all my friendships end up feeling fickle or transactional.
Obviously you know this, but you have to take the first step at things like that even if it might hurt. Additionally its obviously a desire incompatible with only posting on imageboards alone. Maybe it doesn't work out every time, but its definitely worth putting yourself out there and giving it a shot, even if its a risk to do so.
I have a lot of online friends.
I also made a lot of friends role-playing in FFXIV for a long time. I ended up falling in love with one of them and now we're married.
That's awesome wish I had been more active in online communities in my teens instead of trying to make real life friends who I knew I didn't belong with, for me it's impossible to find like-minded people where I live so it was a waste of time but I still did it because I was conditioned to do so from an early age. "You have to make friends", "You have to go out". If I don't want to go out then obviously I don't belong with those people so why should I force it? I'm not going to change myself in order to fit in.
Your post made me scream out loud.
I hope you have a good fucking night.
>>14348>I don't belong with those people so why should I force it?
You shouldn't have to, of course. I think it's good to have at least a few offline friends to have a social life with, but if you find people online you get along with and don't have many offline friends then it's ok to rely on online friends that you truly trust and you can make life-long friendships that way that could become real life friendships too.>>14349
I have a few discord friends but I wish I hadn't. All the small discord servers end up living in a purgatory because of lack of activity. The player base grows slightly or stays the same with nothing being done. The one friend I have who I've gotten to know has gotten busy or has his own stuff going on. We haven't really talked much and he's not been on very often. When he is on, he's playing his favorite games mostly.
I might end up deleting a large majority of my friends on discord and Warcraft 3, where we would play games. I might end up not playing that game any more either since no one really hosts games. Also, I'll probably reject friend requests from now on since it never goes anywhere. I've been perfectly able to play singleplayer games or be alone. It's probably just time again to rediscover that bliss again.
I've never understood how this was possible for people. I always blamed my morbid obesity, but there's something strange about the fact that even the people that only knew me online, found the idea of me having a girlfriend laughable. It really felt like everyone was getting into relationships, except me.
you seem very based sushi roll. i also have been replaying some single player button mashers they are a wonderful time warp. in all seriousness battle.net isn't as quick as it used to be and many warcrafters are either WoWers or LOLers now
After that post, I started playing Daggerfall again. I also got ahold of a rom of Glover to play. I can't leave Warcraft 3 yet since there a few games I want to complete from it, and another friend of mine is developing another custom game. Once I've beaten the games and he's done, I'll have nothing to return to. In the meantime, I'm going to complete games that I actually want to and focus on myself. Thanks for the compliment.
Based. I think I once tried that one but didn't stick to it, I think I was looking for a TES3 experience. How is it?
Daggerfall is really fun. I realized, after coming back to it again on Daggerfall Unity, that the things that I did in the original, the exploits, were making it more fun for me. I would use spell absorption and absorb my own ranged area of effect spells. Also, they patched out the glitch/exploit/thing that makes all destruction spells cost 5 spell points once you master destruction magic. After I realized that, I realized my character, while being a good mage, wasn't good enough to take on vampires without me manually dodging.
I also made a thief character who plays completely differently, but I think thief skills aren't that good in this game. Pickpocketing, lockpicking, backstabbing, and possibly stealth are useless skills. Also, the Thieve's guild doesn't give much money for rewards for their quests. However, they train like all other factions, and that's what you want. It's hard to level the dodging skill and critical strike. They also have spymasters and give you the ability to bribe judges if you get caught.
Daggerfall hits different from Morrowind. Everything's more magical to me. I remember reading a book in Morrowind about a girl who became an orphan and was raised by a witch's coven in Daggerfall. Those places actually exist in game, and with the details of thick forests and fogs along with magic and political intrigue, Daggerfall, to me, is as unique as Morrowind.
I've been considering doing most quests in Daggerfall including the faction quests, the daedric quests, the peasant, merchant, and noble quests, etc. I did that for Oblivion and Morrowind, so I just need to do it for Daggerfall, Arena, and Skyrim.
It's hard to not be clingy
Especially if you are lonely.
I think it's dumb to have online friends for many reasons, first of which they will inevitably disappear without notice and no way to find them again. The same can happen with irl friends, too, but online it's a guarantee it will happen sooner than later.
You know, now that I think about it, I've never really had "online friends" in the sense that most people are talking about here. I've had "friends" in video games but it's entirely limited to partying up to play the game, we never talk outside of that. Or "friends" on pseudonymous internet forums or sushi rollymous message boards, but again it was more of an occasional posting back and forth on the forum/board, we didn't keep in contact outside of that.
The fact that something ends doesn't mean it isn't worth having. Everything comes to an end eventually.
to be honest, at this point the friends i made irl might as well be online friends
it ain't fun being autistic and attracted to other introverts
It’s not inevitable. I’ve lost touch with some online friends, but I’ve also kept up with the same online friends for the last… 10 years now. I have another completely unrelated group that I’ve been friends with for the last 7ish years.
Some of the old dudes that were BBS sysops and transitioned to the internet have kept the same online friends for four decades now.
Not everyone online *wants* to keep in touch for a decade. But some do.
Had a lot of online friends back in 2018 but now only 3 are left. We don't talk much now but still pretty cool people.
A have a few online friends, but sometimes it can be a few weeks a month without talking to them. But I've found that just being honest about not being the mood for talking sometimes can be helpful in clearing up any potential misunderstandings. Though the people I've met are all pretty introverted like me, so that's probably part of why they understand. I also only really talk to people online individually, and you tend to be able to better form a friendship that way I feel, rather than in groups. Trying to understand how the people you meet feel, and being curious and open to hearing the things they have to say can be helpful I think.
I did meet a friend around half a year ago on a forum, we starting chatting about interests and stuff, but we related to each other a lot and started writing tons to each other. It's gotten to the point where we sending essay length replies to each other. I don't know if that's weird, but I'm having fun so I think it's probably okay.>>14996
I think you just have to find the right people. Some people are really down for reading long posts and replying in kind. It's very difficult to find though, I pretty much just lucked out and happened to be in the right place at the right time. If you're persistent enough I think you could find someone who you'd really click with.
Feeling lonely and yet too lazy to reach out. Every few years I do it anyway and it always leaves me very alienated. There are so many things, I don't even know where to start. Many instances where people don't even talk to each other and only spam stuff. Other cases where many places have the same content. Now and then stumbling upon something unique, but then feeling intimidated how people are actually passionate and serious about something, while I just go like "Yeah, that's nice". Also so tired of countless posts, like mental health, girlfriend, kids, wife, memes, politics. The worst was when I discovered some places where people from the little shitty country I come from are looking to meet others. Nothing of those getting to known each other activities sounded pleasant, it rather had the sound of torture like business meeting and company lunch do. Even worse was to see what people are interested in, but what did I expect? Jaded and introverted internet addict looks for similar fuck up to be tired together?