No.14168
>>14161i get it. i felt this way about my now ex-partner as well. he wasn't perfect but i learned a lot from him and it was nice to have someone i could talk about video games and my interests with even if he thought some of mine were weird.
like i said in my op, this isn't my first breakup, and it took me years to get over the last one too. i hope you are able to find peace and maybe get into new things, hobbies that don't remind you of her at all.
>>14162yep, it's been two days since he broke it off and i quickly came to terms with knowing i will heal as time goes on. as long as i know he still loves me and the breakup wasn't personal i think i will be ok. it hurts a little less today so i have some hope. thank you
No.14208
>>14207It's kinda sad how human beings have this ability to create so many scenarios of things, and how they could have ended up.
I still have fantasies about how i could meet her again, but they're so impossible I may as well write a novel instead.
I hope whatever grief you're going thru dies soon. I know mine will be difficult because, well, I am a complicated man, but I can only hope that whatever goes on with you goes fairly well.
We all love you and wish the best for you sushi
No.14287
Something that hasn't been said yet, definitely don't keep pictures or keepsakes around. If you can't bring yourself to delete, at least stuff it out onto somewhere you won't stumble upon it during your day-to-day usage of device/area on accident or in a reminiscing mood.
Don't keep them on social media or contact info.
Every time a fragment reminds you of them, it'll take slightly longer to get over it.
If you're planning on keeping in touch, I'd expect it to take quite a while to not feel emotionally sore while/after contact.
No.14291
>>14287I tried to do this but even my car is related to my ex heavily. His mom still follows me on Instagram too and looks at everything even though he himself has me blocked? I don't understand.
No.14307
im drunk a little going through sushichan and i forgot i made this thread i love u all
No.14308
we love you more gawr gura poster
No.14309
>>14308that's amelia watson poster to you kid
>>14207this made me really sad sushi. you have all the time in the world to heal from him. i hope you find something that helps you feel better
>>14291maybe try to redecorate the interior/exterior if you can? maybe some decals and cute stuff on the dashboard
also it's been a month since we broke up and i feel a thousand times better and picked up new anime and games, i even got a job and it hurts that i cant tell him about my good news but yknow..
No.14310
uncanny resemblence to gura tho only difference is outfit and hair color.
tomato tamata
No.14460
I dunno OP, it's been very tough.
Like, it's so bad, I never had experienced love until the end of last year, being on my mid 20s, and it absolutely ruined me
>don't wanna find someone because of fear of break-up or heartbreak
>can't stand watching couples outside
>regret all the time I spent shitposting on imageboards and playing games while my friends developed themselves as a person
>be even more paranoid about who I should make my first GF in the real world, constantly approaching and being interesting to women but turning them down once I see things that seem like red flags to me
>can't stand media with romance
>lost a really good amount of my hair, I no longer look like a shonen protagonist and now I just look like a seinen one instead
This really feels like I've been cursed, I may get far in life, I may become wealthy, and I may live in a nice house. But the fact that I never got to romantically develop myself at a young age hits me like a truck. Both because of missing out, and also the consequences that came along with it.
I made a huge mistake
No.14461
>>14460i went through very similar progress. you have to realize that love is not a muscle, you don't have to develop your 'love skills' to become lovable. you don't have to manipulate other people to love you. at my worst time, i was couching constantly because of cigarette, lost hair and rest started to turn white, forced myself to be social but all become too much that i found myself crying on the ground, even at that position i tried my best to talk with woman and i had a date. in the end i noticed that no matter how you are, if you show yourself, you will find a match no matter what. so be patient, don't force yourself, you're not losing anything. develop yourself. i go to therapy, i can't recommend it enough. if you feel constantly unhappy, you should give therapy a chance. spending time with yourself, visiting places you've never been is great. also producing art and software has been great fun for me. i don't have a master on relations but that's my two cents. hope it helps
No.14481
I cannot stress this enough: space.
My ex was in a friend group with me, and neither of us wanted to tell the rest of the group what happened. So we just fizzled out, but we kept talking. Well, more accurately, she kept talking to me. But every time we were hanging out with the friend group, I just got pissed off at every single thing she did. Just watching her be so happy with life after dumping me made me violent. What could have just been sadness and confusion turned into absolute rage. And that rage persists, there are genuinely nights when I go to sleep and I just can't calm down because I want to physically hurt her. And nothing about that is ok. My feelings are NOT justified. But nonetheless, I feel them, and I don't know what to do at this point. So please, take some time away from your ex. A LOT of time. Do not contact them, do not be around them, do not THINK about them. Your heart needs some time to relax.
No.14682
>>14208>>14309Thank you for the replies. I have recovered emotionally a little but also come to accept that I was abused both physically and mentally, it will take a very long time to recover in that aspect. I think being around supportive people is the most important thing I can recommend to anyone else recovering from DV.
>>14652I'm 29 and was supposed to be married this time this year to a man I was with for two years and he had bought a ring etc. Don't give up!! I have a wonderful man now and even as I said there is a path I need to take for recovery there is hope sushi. You're young and you will encounter so many people online and offline that are interesting, whether they're relationships or friendships. Life is multifaceted and full of different enriching experiences for you to grab. From the smallest walks outside to exploring worlds online with friends.
No.14743
>>14738Sometimes good things take time. Don't neglect yourself physically or mentally. Pursue your hobbies or find hobbies to pursue. Doing so will increase your chances of meeting someone with some foundational interests. Don't give up sushi it will be daijobu.
No.14748
>>14743>Sometimes good things take time.>Don't neglect yourself physically or mentally.>Pursue your hobbies or find hobbies to pursue.>Doing so will increase your chances of meeting someone with some foundational interests.>Don't give up sushi it will be daijobu.I sincerely wish to believe this. But. Sadly. I tried so many things, but nothing lead to anything.
I don't think anything will ever happen, and the very slight events that happen were nothing short of miracles. And even those turned me asunder.
My head is too fucked up now from the previous experiences I had, and the ones I didn't. I am a complete disaster. No one would or should put up with me, and chances that I do put up with them and they're kind to me, I'm sure I'll ruin it again, like I always did.
My fate may as well be to rot alone.
No.14749
>>14748Please. Say what happened to make you feel so helpless. It's sushi rollymous here sushi let it out. Many people have had such thoughts, it doesn't have to be the end of the line in love for you.
No.14750
>>14738>>14748I am older than you and in the same boat. Never had love or a relationship or anything close to it, and the few interactions I've had with women pretty much just left me with trauma and proved to me that I'm not capable or deserving of being loved.
I am more at peace with my situation than I was at your age for sure, but it does really hurt sometimes when I think about it. I'm sure it really doesn't make you feel much better to hear, but I do understand the kind of pain you are in and just wanted to say that.
No.14755
>>1473828 friendless khhdv here.
hang in there bud.
at some point, you get used to it.
No.14757
>>14738>>14755adding to my comment, my loneliness stems from the fact that I am not attractive. people tend to bully / react negatively to people with unattractive features.
i don't really want to mention the following as it gets me showered with insults or aggressive comments. Anyway, i am gonna take the risk :
for me personally, i found solace in religion (particularly islam).
At the end, the Lord will judge us according to our deeds and not our genes.
wish you good luck, ronery sushi.
No.14786
>>14749I don't wanna dwell on bad thoughts, because if you feed them you eventually end up extending these thoughts in the long run
But, I just have no clue whatsoever. Sometimes I find myself yearning for a gf but then I ask to myself, would I be better if that was the case?
Chances are yes but there is also a lot of other things going on. Being desperate for company has lead me to be with really nefarious people and to have realizations I wish I never had happen upon me. I was used through most of my life by others and trying to please people I just ended up hating myself more because of it. As if I didn't mean anything to anyone
I can't really provide anything really besides maybe company. It is a bit shitty, I just got no clue how these things like relationships or treating with people work. And after all the things that have happened I don't think I can trust anyone ever again.
No.14884
>>14682very true! i guess i'm just impatient, i experienced a lot in 2022 when it came to love and intimacy and i know it takes time to find someone who loves me for who i am… even if that's corny to say..
guy i wasn't serious with, turns out i overthink us a lot… i hope we work out, i really like him
>>14757i understand how it feels sushi, i'm not conventionally attractive and have only had one irl relationship cause of it, i'm 5 years younger so maybe it doesn't mean as much, but i genuinely understand. the way i grew up and the one relationship i had so far fucked me up, the damage feels irreparable. biggest factor is not relationship-based trauma, but what i've dealt with pretty much molded how i view romance and sex.
i hope you know you're not alone, i wish i could tell you it'd get better but it's such an empty promise half the time. but like
>>14750 said, i empathize a lot and relate to your pain
plus it's not bad to take solace in religion, it's better than what most people do to deal with this feeling
No.15256
>>15254Good thing the future isn't set in stone.
It may seem impossible, but do try to look things under a better light. Many of the people who fall in love with each other do so because they stepped over someone else.
At least you didn't have the misfortune of that happening to you. Treat yourself better king, life is all on the eyes of the beholder.
No.15298
>>15296Have you really moved on if you’re thinking of getting back in touch and feel anxiety over communicating?
Seems like you have the opportunity to keep something cleanly in the past, which is OK and valuable.
No.15301
>>15298I talked about it with my therapist, and she asked me "What do you expect to gain from this?"
She is right I guess? But I really hope this person makes the right choices in life.
I am just scared to never meet someone quite like her again in life, but at this rate, I should just focus on myself instead of others. Agh, life sucks ass.
No.15303
>>15301She’s right.
You don’t have existing contact/an ongoing relationship with this person, so it’s not your responsibility to guide her or help her. Part of respecting her, is trusting her to make their own good decisions on her own terms. And your statement about fear of not meeting someone like her, means you still want her in your life, and this isn’t a selfless act.
People are all unique individuals, but as you move through life and grow, and meet new people, you’re going to meet another person that means a lot to you in some way.
No.15310
>>15306Sushi, you can't let people tell you this and you cannot internalize this mindset if finding new love is something you want. There are no guarantees in life– for anything, but there will always be new experiences and there is joy in those things. If you treat yourself and others with care, other people will follow suit. I personally think you will be just fine.
