/hell/ - internet death cult

i may be developing some mental condition and im afraid my bf no longer enjoys talking to me

I cant breathe and every day i wake up in the same room and the feeling of waking up is crushing, nothing i do is enjoyable anymore. it used to be that i just tricked myself into not enjoying anything but now everything i used to enjoy is hollow and empty and i have a growing silence inside that makes it hard to hear anything, there are no productive tasks to do except for the ones i do on a regular basis, nothing new to do that will improve or make me happier. i my friends wont call me back because they are doing something else. i post long messages a short or dismissive response. people online ignored what I posted and I haven't activated the dopamine. Looking at vicious sights online of the pornography that makes the other sickos disgusted by me does not bring happiness. I want to feel strong emotion but I cannot. Even praying is difficult. Hugging my blankets doesnt feel good anymore. I'm not ugly, I am not disfigured. I'm sick of hearing my voice. I am living in unreality. My family hates me or shows me indifference. I need strong healthy community and lasting friendships, the food here is bad. We are running out. Fruit and vegetables, meat. Starch. Keeps me happy. Anything sweet or salty causes me to feel pain. It used to make me happy, does not anymore. Music gets older a lot faster. When . I work a job that I hate, nobody cares what I do. I hate what I do every day. I serve the novel fantasies of maangement. I am hiding from my friends. I am hiding from my family. Every post is recorded, alll my emails are compromised I feel (thtey are not) unless I have never used them before, then they are clean. I'm constantly planning my escape and how I can be safe. No one can be allowed to contact me, then I will feel safe. The less contacts the better, social media is bad. I don't use social media but when I look at it it has memes, self referential and bad. Sushi is beautiful, girls is beautiful. Don't want to live in unreality anymore. News is making me feel the wrong kind of violence inside. I don't use the cold on my shower anymore, I don't know if I am showering? sometimes I forget. the little hearts are really cute, I don't want to post anything about myself online, I want to delete all my professional profiles and be hidden. I want to destroy all my possesssions, I want to delete everything with my name on it. I look on my possessions with contempt and disgust, the less I own the better. I still have too much, I , , save things in places that oPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I talked to the admins and they won't delete what I've posted. I want to block my old friends. They are bad influences. They gossip to me, they send me bad things, by blocking out everything without, I can only hear the dissonence within. Doing the right thing doesnt feel good anymore, doing the wrong thing never felt good. Waking up is getting really, really difficult. I think I'm always being watched but I'm not paranoid. I used to go online but I was the fool to everyone else. I played retarded so long that I actually became retarded. I don't know if I'm in on the joke anymore. I don't know who I am laughing with. I had some work that I did solely to get applause online, no one clapped. No one really cared enough. I needed a lot, a lot of validation and I didn't get it. I gave up.I feel deeply unsafe in my head, online, and in real life. I am more and more afraid to be seen. I try not to be seen at all. I don't like to eat a lot of meals, I have been avoiding eating or drinking. Sleep is bad but ssomehow I've been worse. Because I am working so I have to sleep. Sometimes I sleep during meetings. Please do not contact me. If you know who I am and you read this, DO NOT CONTACT ME. DO NOT BROWSE THIS WEBSITE. DO NOT BROWSE THIS WEBSITE. DO NOT FOLLOW ME ONLINE. DO NOT COME IN. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED HERE, YOU CANNOT COME HERE. I do not want to be seen, I do not want to be followed. I stare hammers. The first sushi, doesn't look real. First from the top. I will repeat once again before I go into this: DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU KNOW WHO I AM. DO NOT CONTACT ME. DO NOT CONTACT ME. Every document has a paper trail. I don't want to be tracked down, here. If you talk to me, give me everything in written communication, I will respond in unrecorded voice. I will archive your responses and say as little as possible myself. I will ask questions and give you nothing. When the police came, I didn't ask anything, I did give information, It was nothing. S(he) was fine. In line with deletion, I want to delete (most of) all of my memories. I hate remembering things about my life so far. I have no saved photographs of myself, except one so I can show what haircut I want, another for professional, another has an avatar. If you forget your memories, you're not responsible for them anymore. I have a lot of guilt. I wasn't sexually abused because I said yes. Every single time. I try to get rid of my happy memories too because I might remember something bad. That's why I don't Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>2039
Nope that assumes the omnipotency of an Abrahamic god. I could totally be a god of procrastination and laziness. Read these
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kami#Notable_kami
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Greek_mythological_figures#Major_gods_and_goddesses

>>2036
Surely we don't want to become another facebook or twitter?
>>2038
If you were a god you would be able to prove it somehow. Prove of a god is what makes someone a god, otherwise you aren't. If you can't prove it then you have no power, unless you forget that you are a god, or somehow cease to be a god for a limited time.
>>2547
If someone cares about you enough to stalk you then you can rest peacefully knowing that you are loved.
Sometimes I want to run away from it all and go live in the woods somewhere

Taking a shit lads

Woah me too friends.
Truly this is the most intimate form of camaraderie.

It felt good

Group poop
Poop soup
Poop in a loop
Snoopin on poopin
Woop there's the poop

im gonna do it

Outside sushigirl, I don't post anywhere else. I've been threatening myself to give up on image boards for real for the past 3 years. Before this I browsed /jp/ spin-offs and gave up on those. Then samachan reignited the spark just as I was calling it quits. It was the most promising IB of the bunch and the admin was ambitious but drama and disappointment happened and she deleted fucking everything. Sushigirl is my only point of interaction with people online.

Just here now that Samachan is dead ;_;. I do miss it but it's nice here as well. I lurk a few other small IBs that aren't worth mentioning but I barely post.

>>1812
Why would you be welcome on a website made for women?

>>1870
This is the most retarded post I've seen in many, many years. Thank you. I love that you'd rather see images of amputated women getting raped (and completely fuck up your brain desensitizing it to vile shit like that) over letting a woman be an admin. That says so much about you in so few words, amazing.

>>2532
The whole Samachan case is incredibly sad. I've only found Sama recently, I think it was a month before it closed down.
I understand the admin's reasons for shutting it down completely (usually people treat such projects as their own "children" they cared for, even if it was for a brief period of time) and are reluctant to hand them over. Sometimes it's better to "walk off the stage making people remember good memories only", but Samachan was pretty active… so it ideally should have been handed over to someone competent (if there was such a person).

>>2542
That sounds like an awful lot of projecting.

>>2533
Haven't found a place yet since, I wish there was.

My virgin eyes are too pure to bring myself to click this.

I do not like this video.

Cirno is the strongest onahole

Based moot

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AHH, AHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

>>2523
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

aaaa
*voice cracks*
hhhhh

>>2534
a

>>2015
Wrong imageboard.

oh noes ebil!

yes fren

Here's the transcription. It's an html file but those aren't supported so I put it inside a .zip.

The amount of times I tripped over myself while transcribing this was surreal. I'd inadvertently skip one or another vertical line and ~70% of the time the result still made grammatical sense. So much so I'd get paranoid at times, about whether the text continued from the upper right block to the lower right or upper left blocks. Still, it was great practice and the kind of thing which would look great in my NORP curriculum. I'd have to explain all the futanari trap Raikou porn I've translated as well, though…

And with that, this ups the number of non-h content I've translated to a grand total of 3!

…I swear I wish I could translate non-h more often!

Speaking of kancolle, I dare recommend Takotsuboya's Teitoku no Ketsudan series of doujins, as they provide great detail, even concerning the Philippines theatre of operations and the catastrophic loss of human life along with the desperate attempts at supplying and rescuing the retreating land forces. It's got some hentai in the mix but the author pieced together the events in compelling fashion.

>>2518
Thanks for the hard work, this looks like it was crazy to work on.

Sorry, I might have missed this, but who is the author? What was their rank/background/etc?

>>2522
He doesn't make mention of who he is at all during this. The only giveaway to his identity is in >>2505. The author must have been master sargeant Anzou.

The last thing I know about the workplace and hiring policies is whatever's on the mind of HR departments. I assume they do these kinds of tests to check if you're above a threshold of intelligence and to see how much responsibility they can give you.

>Today, I can barely sustain the attention necessary to follow a set of instructions, let alone complete these intelligence tests.
Yup, I think this is what they're trying to get out of you.

>>2493
I don't like youtube videos about this kind of subject, but this video should I answer your question about how preparation affects the result.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRoVVU--BkU

Intelligence test can measure someone's problem solving capacities, but that's it. A lot of people seem to use those tests to evaluate their worth, eventhough it's possible to be a complete piece of shit with a high IQ or a truly selfless person with a below average intelligence.

That's my 2 cents.

>>2493
Just my opinion but I think it's silly to worry about this kinda thing. Just be yourself and do your best, man.

>>2493
You can improve scores with practice any kind of test.
I think a lot of places that make applicants take this stuff are just trying to see if they they're desperate enough to go through this bullshit for the application. It's easier to control and abuse employees who really need the job.

>>2494
Yea, I think I ended up with a crappy attitude after seeing the IQ test. It was all downhill from there. I later received validation from other candidates that this kind of thing is bullshit.

>>2495
Yea, credentialism is probably a gateway to narcissism. We should live by "we're only as good as our last performance," right?

>>2496
My instincts were this, but spending time in unemployment purgatory can warp your frame of reference.

>>2516
Yea, this is what other candidates were saying. The company shit tests its employees so that employees with low shit tolerances self-select away from the application process.

I AM, IT'S SUNDAY AHHHHH

No inconveniences so far today

Thanks to COVID-19 I can't get free coffee anymore at my workplace.

Also I can't open my fresh canister of soy sauce. I already rubbed off the skin of my fingers, trying to do so.

My new boots are too small and I have to return them.

My new trousers are skin tight and that makes them uncomfortable to wear.

Cold showers make may skin shed tiny flakes. Disgusting!

I'm so very slightly inconvenienced. Curse you, pretty Nico Nico Nii girl!

>>2381
>>711
i hope your mildly horney todah frenrol