I just don't know what to do with myself.
Most of the time I work, play video games, watch anime and browse some small imageboards, that's it.
While I enjoy games, animu and ibs it is unfortunately not the case for work. If I am working then I never have the issue of being bored out of my tiny little mind though. During weekends this is never a problem too. Holidays and being unemployed is where this starts to surface.
Sooner or later I am content with the stuff I usually do and then I don't know what to do. I have already read multiple times that you are supposed to just try something out, it doesn't even matter what. Just try and see if you like it, if yes continue to do it, if not try something else. Well there is nothing that appeals to me though and I don't have the motivation and energy to try something new either. Actually I like to cook already, to garden, to read, to listen to music and do some exercise at home. I tried the gym too, but didn't like it. The point is that nothing of that really satisfies me and because of that I rarely do it. Therefore I just stick with video games, anime and imageboards, even though I don't feel like it. Most of the time this results into me getting up and just laying down on my bed, doing nothing or even worse starting to wank to some disturbing shit, that I would like to drop since years.
Given this issue I can't handle being a neet, because I just don't know what to do with all the time I have. After some neeting I always start working again, but then working starts to crush my mental health and at one point I quit, which leads to square 1 again, being a neet. Working just sucks because of people, I desperately try to find a job where I am alone and don't have people around for 9 hours straight on 5 days a week. It's just introverts hell. Only thing I found out is being a watchmen at night, I will try to apply for it if the current situation goes in the direction I hope. Right now I still life with my parents and have a job that I hate and destroys me once more. My contract runs out on the 31th of December, if they give me a new contract that doesn't run out on a certain date then I will move out near a place where a lot of jobs are available as a night watchmen, then drop the current job and start applying for the new one. Maybe working something that doesn't constantly worsens my mental state is giving me some drive to try new things? I just want to be able to cope with life somehow…
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Just extremely anxious since coming to college. Program is very intense and hit hard right out the gates. Getting better slowly but still trying to collect myself.
ain't that the truth
I can't seem to do anything. My entire life exists in a state of permanent potentiality. I've been trying to fix this for eleven years now with no success so I doubt there even is a way to fix it.