I’m not sure what you *can* do in this situation, sushi, other than giving your cat the love and attention she deserves. Wishing you luck.
I saw friends today and all it did was leave me drained and sad because I have to pretend like the discussions and jokes being made don't hurt me. I wish I wasn't like this.
I'm tired, I've been constantly tired for years.
It started with slight health issues, some got better some got worse - being physically tired is my normal state though.
I used to hide away in my invincible world of books and knowledge, it got me quite ahead.
Yet sadly, for the last few years, I've been so restless that I can hardly pick a book up for more than a few minutes (at least in the last 3-4 months that is getting better!).
I dropped out of uni, changed subjects, and might drop out again.
Lost my best friend to cancer.
Worst of all, I've been working hard, yet I don't always see the fruit of that work.
Asshole profs tried to blame me for cheating, TWICE, and both times I was exonerated in the end (at a very significant mental health cost).
At the end of the day, no one cares, even if they "lament" how much potential I have that I'm not reaching, no one is willing to actually help when I ask for help.
Only thing keeping me around is not wanting my loved ones to experience the pain of me going out with a bang, it's extremely scarring to lose someone close - especially when they're young (I've experienced that with my friend, I miss him man, I miss him so much).
There you go, kind of got it off my chest.
I don't know where to go with this.
Yes, it is
But it is also all that there isnt, everything that isnt is everything that is not now
And most of what isnt, could become
Kinda like that?
I mean, what kind of future would actually interest you? If you drop the pretense of "that couldnt ever become true, could it"