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/hell/ - internet death cult

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Remember to keep it cozy!

Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

File: 1612214122578.jpg (77.9 KB, 720x653, 1612040466312.jpg)

 No.3277[Last 50 Posts]

When was the last time you was in love?
I mean butterflies in your stomach and all that weird stuff.

 No.3278

File: 1612214342900.png (84.08 KB, 343x337, 16119979721940-b.png)

Once in life time. Don't recommend anyone.

 No.3280

File: 1612285781367.jpg (35.98 KB, 305x551, fc082725263bd7ea06a181c784….jpg)

Love is not a part of my body

 No.3334

>>3280
>her body has organs

 No.3335

>>3334
>her

 No.3349

File: 1616600635758.jpg (647.18 KB, 800x1131, EuqRyX2UcAEQn4F.jpg)

Maybe like 7-8 years ago, it was my first relationship (and a long one too, 4 years) but it completely broke me when it ended.
I no longer feel any interest in the opposite sex and I can't watch romantic stuff anymore, I feel disgusted.

 No.3565

>>3349
What do you mean a relationship you baby? I never been in a relationship I only got crushes on friendly ladyes and ctjed and cried and cried and I'm handsome and hot and funny and women have crushes on me but I never realized how to act what to do with them so I stayed a desperate virgin who craveswomen and love I just want to love and be loved but I never got it despite the fact many women wanted that HELP ME

 No.3566

Never haha.
Hahaha…

 No.3570

I'm not even sure love is real. I've been in quite a few relationships, but The most I feel around someone else is a comforting feeling. At what point does like become love? Love just seems a very strong word for something as fickle and ephemeral as human emotion. Maybe I'm just a psychopath.

 No.3587

A few weeks ago. Then I ran out of moonsugar and came to my senses.

>>3565
> HELP ME
I CAN'T!!! Same shit for me, except I'm not even that handsome. Whenever I'm around a love interest, I become extremely uncomfortable to the point where I enter fight or flight mode.

>>3570
Love is the delusional state, where you believe everything will be okay, as long as you are with the person you are in love with. In an ongoing relationship it may become a more trust-based belief, similar to religious devotion. This is also why adultery is such a devastating blow to a relationship.

 No.3619

In retrospect, I think it may have happened to me in my early teens, but at the time I just saw it as a great friendship and didn't realize what I had until it was ripped away by outside forces.

And that's how I lost my religion.

 No.3623

I fell in love with a friend and we went out for a little bit, but he broke it off after just a couple of weeks. now I don't know what to do with my feelings towards him :/

 No.3624

>>3277
2010, when I graduated high school.

 No.3626

Primarily the time where I was going through an existential crisis, and I started hanging out with a close fren. They asked me how I felt about them and I told them I loved them, but it turned out they felt the same. The butterflies wear off after about a week, though. I guess bussy and hugs are better than therapy?

 No.3651

>>3277
probably at least a decade
i love my current bf but i dont feel my heart slamming against my chest or queasy anymore like how i did back when i was in hs

 No.3654

>>3651
that's a more gentle kind of love, but no more or less valid. :>

 No.3678

File: 1640368036631.png (228.24 KB, 680x680, image_2021-12-15_100940.png)

>>3280
I come back to this post to finally admit it
Love has got into my body for the first time and has changed me as a man after all these years.
Life can be full of miracles

 No.3679

File: 1640368390074.gif (389.96 KB, 244x244, 1580681090556.gif)

Merry Christmas btw

 No.3783

File: 1648581822757.gif (526.12 KB, 498x412, bye-gman.gif)

I mean, apparently I have a crush right now. Maybe? I've struggled for a long time with the idea of sexuality and what love/romantic affection for others actually is for me.

On one hand– there have been times when I've been asked out and I've thought "oh god no I don't think about you in that way at all", but there have also been rarer times where I've gone "oh. OH." and then proceeded to experience the messy butterfly feelings. So obviously I have some form of preference or radar, but all of those experiences have been *prompted*. I never seriously considered them in that way before the door was opened. I wonder if this is some form of the aromantic spectrum or something. I certainly desire a relationship with another person but I struggle thinking of a single time where I looked around a room, noticed someone, and personally, deeply developed a crush. I haven't met a single other person who has this shared experience.

It's complicated by the nature of my social life and circles. I thought I was entirely gay for a long time but a recent experience in the fashion of what I describe above probably means I'm capable of het attraction too, so that's been weird. I've always felt I've been able to make friends with all groups of people really easily, and my closest friends are men, women, and everything else. So it's not like there's a particular group of people that isolates itself to me as a potential "dating pool". That's how I assume it works for straight people at least.

I don't know. On the bright side I have a shitton of time to figure it out but I hope somehow I can find my place in the world and in the human experience. I do think I like this guy, we have some niche shared interests and he's a genuinely good human being so it'd be nice if something good could come of it. I've been having trouble looking at him while he talks lately >_> eek. I don't know how people do this, interacting with someone normally when you think of them… differently is so weird. But I don't think anyone suspects!

 No.3788

File: 1649006194341.jpg (176.65 KB, 905x1500, FPO6u-faMAMt116.jpg)

>>3783
>I certainly desire a relationship with another person but I struggle thinking of a single time where I looked around a room, noticed someone, and personally, deeply developed a crush.
Don't worry, there's others in your case – I'm the exact same. What I've figured out is that I'm only able to date people whom I consider close friends and are rather similar to me in terms of mentality and shared interests. I thought for a long time I was unable of romantic attraction and would probably live the rest of my life alone, until I met someone in the last year who is LiterallyMe™, which led to my first confession (and relationship!). Gender doesn't matter to me as much as whether I click with that person or not.
I hope everything will go well for you!

 No.3790

File: 1649103603336.png (253.73 KB, 467x433, weezer.png)

>>3788
This was such a relief to read sushi, thank you for sharing. I'm rooting for both of us.

 No.3797

>>3790
we are gonna play yakuza 7 together next week

 No.3806

>>3797
we are dating now I’m pretty sure. or at least we are now testing the waters and will probably start a relationship! but we are both a little bit shy and keep seizing up awkwardly when we see each other LOL. but it’s okay, I’m happy just taking it slow and enjoying the conversations we have. butterflies in the stomach are crazy man

 No.3820

Probably high school (>3 years ago). I went on a date not that long ago but I really can't say I've felt deep love for them like I've felt for other people in the past. If I'm away from people long enough my romantic feelings kind of fade out and its something I never think about until I'm in a social setting again, in which case they'll fire back up for a while. Doesn't make me feel depressed or anything.

 No.3839

>>3820
> If I'm away from people long enough my romantic feelings kind of fade out and its something I never think about until I'm in a social setting again, in which case they'll fire back up for a while.
This is pretty much how my platonic relationships all work. I don't use any social media, and none of my IRL friends do IRC so unless you're right here in front of me physically, we're not communicating.

And now I feel weird about clicking the "I'm not a robot" box because I realize this sounds like robot behavior.

 No.3842

>>3839
Only the IRC part might be a bit robotic. :)
Sometimes I feel direct messaging ruined more than it brought to my life. People were meant to discover each other slowly.

 No.3909

>>3349
>Kanae pic
>What you wrote
I can't believe we are not the same person. I fully understand you

 No.3948

After being broken by a previous relationship im starting to see someone and woww i really love them. We're kinda sorta a thing right now but not 100%. Im reading to her until she goes to sleep and all, it makes my brain feel funnyy

 No.3949

>>3948
Good for you buddy.
I broke up with my girl because she got tired of my behaviour due to my lack of experience.
I'd love to rekindle something like what we had, but chances seem very dim.
Gotta try though.

 No.3950

I'm approaching 30 and I've never experienced it
I think I'm gonna be alone forever, probably

 No.3951

When my last relationship ended almost 2 years ago. We still talk sometimes and I still feel a little of what I felt back then. I think she still has feelings for me too, but neither of us are willing or able to tell the other how we feel… Maybe I'm just being hopeful

 No.3953

>>3842
For what it's worth, they're small channels which have more or less outlived the activity of their community, but people still idle out of habit. There can be days or even weeks between messages.
(My point being, nobody's really getting to know other people at warp speed. I think I've been in one of them for 6 years at this point, and I still feel like a newbie.)

 No.3986

File: 1659933474488.png (35.19 KB, 150x150, shrug tenshi.png)

>>3950
All I can suggest is getting into activities of your interests in classes outside, and lowering your standards.
I wish I could meet someone like my ex, but given the environments I move in and the kind of people I have to deal with, I may as well just take what I can.
And hey, these people aren't so bad, but they could look a bit better

 No.4015

File: 1661311137435.jpg (195.82 KB, 1067x600, Stephany.jpg)

>>3277
I don't really know how to start this without it sounding really horrible, but I've never felt those butterflies towards an adult. I feel like I'm living on a different planet from the guys that slobber all over women in yoga pants at the gym. It's weird because I have "normal" sexual interests, but I can satisfy that with PornHub and beyond that I have zero interest in women.

Every once in a while I feel that feeling towards a fictional character; love; butterflies; whatever you want to call it. Often in manga or anime, sometimes 3DPD. I've read that lolicons are so fascinated by by the idea of youth because they don't have the emotional capacity to relate to an adult. I don't know if this is true of me or not. It's not like I'm desperate for an adult relationship and I just don't know how. I literally just don't feel butterflies for them. It's like I'm immune from the charms of women. Isn't that weird?

 No.4018

File: 1661319010914.jpg (314.21 KB, 996x1085, Screenshot_20220823-222946….jpg)


 No.4020

File: 1661393969569.jpg (67.47 KB, 720x693, 1661013998631722.jpg)

Why is heartbreak so painful

 No.4093

File: 1669233683475.jpg (288.09 KB, 1755x1249, 1665031023960006.jpg)

I never had a gf, how do I get one?

 No.4094

File: 1669250293578.jpg (554.38 KB, 2048x2048, 1665165105014553.jpg)

Has anyone here got their first partner through dating apps?
How was the experience?

 No.4095

the only person i've called a boyfriend is not one of the several people i've actually fallen in love with
fun

 No.4096

I’m a late bloomer. I never really understood love or any of that. Maybe I still don’t. But one of my best friends and I started dating 6 months ago and life is light. There really is joy in simple things. This experience helped me discover that, but there are lots of ways to improve your life like that, and going on a date usually isn’t it for a lot of people. But the good stuff in that area has happened to me. And it’s nice. I admit.

Just some tried and true advice I needed to throw out there though. Only date and crush on people you really trust and you know truly see you for who you are and respect your boundaries. I had an awful experience with someone who did not fulfill these requirements, had feelings for me, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to reciprocate and it ended up with them harassing/stalking me. I still have trouble sleeping sometimes remembering how uncomfortable some of those memories are.

Cherish the good people in your life who will support you all the way.

 No.4097

>>4094
Never had luck with dating apps, I've met my first partner on Discord though

 No.4098

>>4097
Hope you don’t mind me asking, but I can’t contain my curiosity anymore because I’ve seen these situations play out a few times. Do you guys meet in person or do you date online only?

 No.4099

>>4098
After talking for a bit we've realized we only life around 200km apart. We've started meeting IRL as friends, and after a few times "decided" to start a relationship.

We've been living together for 2 years now and married earlier this year.

I have to admit though, often time when people said they have a partner on Discord it was fully online so I can understand your curiosity.

 No.4101

>>4099
That is wonderful! Congratulations!

Yeah, it usually is completely online. I was hoping you’d flip the tables on the stereotype in your response, and you did :)

The internet can be a drag, but stories like yours remind me that it can bring good too.

 No.4104

File: 1669485339462.jpg (56.45 KB, 800x664, CvTdceVUkAATEGt.jpg)

Twice so far. Once as a kid and once as a teen.
It didn't go anywhere as a kid, because she and I were both still kids at that time, the concept of love and all was still unknown. Honestly I don't even know as what she saw me back then, maybe just a playmate? Or a childish crush like I had too?
Well the second one did go somewhere but it ended awful. From what I hear and see those teenage romances are either the partner for life or embarrassing, maybe even painful, first experiences.
Now as an adult I didn't have that feel so far.

Honestly, I am lonely. I could use the companionship. Maintaining relationships, if friendship or romantic, is just so tiresome. Either I can get past my mental health issues or all I will ever be compatible with will be somebody who has them too.

Now my mother is pestering me about getting a cat again, for my wellbeing. I know it would do me good, but the thought alone of having another one die in my arms after 10, or 15, or 20 years makes me tear up.

All while I still miss friends, but now I am that age where former classmates and friends start to be successful and hearing about them, or even seeing them, makes me feel so much worse. I feel like I am still the same as back then, playing video games, hanging around the Internet, watching anime, fighting my health issues while news like x is pregnant, y married, z owns a company, z and y bought a house together, x got a degree and so on reach me.

Not only is it really awful getting to know people where I life, thanks to the story of my life I just can't connect to them at all.

I am tired, sushis. I don't even know where to go anymore on the Internet. The fact that it is online and not offline hurts me more and more. I can't get any satisfaction out of it anymore. Not to forget how it changed. I miss how it was 10 years ago, how it was 15 years ago.

I am also tired of labelling things as didn't cry at work today and didn't think about killing myself today as successes or having seen a cat as the highlight of my week.

 No.4107

>>4101
Thank you! I had already given up on finding a someone when I met her, I'm happy I just had such a pure coincidence

 No.4116

>>4104
>I feel like I am still the same as back then, playing video games, hanging around the Internet, watching anime, fighting my health issues while news like x is pregnant, y married, z owns a company, z and y bought a house together, x got a degree and so on reach me.

I'm in a kinda similar situation, except I don't have to deal with any of that life milestone noise because I stay far away from any and all social media.

 No.4120

>>4116
My condolences. I wish I had a mate like you in real life. I guess the reason why I still didn't quit the Internet is because it is the place where I can relate to others and others to me as well.
I don't use social media as well, those news reach me through my mother, she often meets other mothers during errands and stuff.

 No.4173

>>3277
Exactly a year ago. First time it happened in nearly a decade. Too bad it didn't end well.

 No.4184

File: 1675321155590.png (18.35 KB, 925x774, 623.png)

Love is the worst thing to have been brought to the planet.
The path towards it is filled with lies, fakers, and narcissism.
My condolences go for those that never had anything with anyone through their whole lives, got something that lasted the lifespan of a fly because the planets aligned, and now suffer because they'll never have something like it ever again.
Truthfully love is a disgusting b!tch.

 No.4189

File: 1675705349460.png (15.14 KB, 467x531, 1621100354495.png)

I suck at dating
Whenever a girl gives me attention I just go completely crazy and I think about all the things that can go anywhere. From one thought sprout a hundred and then a hundred and I become so fucking nervous I just end up screwing up huge time.
I wish I could change this.

 No.4206

File: 1675967378873.png (73.96 KB, 268x211, AGGGAAGGGG.PNG)

I need help killing my inner tsundere. I started dating my best friend and I am 100% in love with him, but now that the context is different, whenever he hits on me (accidentally or not) and says nice things to me I get embarrassed and flustered instead of being able to nicely return his compliments… WHY?? I WANT TO BEAT HIM TO THE PUNCH, BUT HE'S ALWAYS QUICKER THAN ME… OR I CHICKEN OUT… AARRRRGGGG

 No.4207

>>4206
Your friend is very lucky

 No.4208

>>4206
o kawaii koto

 No.4211

File: 1675987986048.gif (2.79 MB, 476x480, catzoom.gif)

I don't get it.
It's just another day, but something is making me not want to go out this 14th.

 No.4212

>>4211
Didn't even realize Valentine's Day is coming up. May all of us singles out there have a happy Valentine's Day.

 No.4213

File: 1676007276317.gif (367.49 KB, 1392x908, 1643151497977.gif)

I still think of someone very special to me a year after we parted ways.
Sometimes I whisper her name at night, and I daydream of reuniting again.
But, it's all a façade, an escape fantasy. I'll get to know new people but, this person will stay with me forever.
The things we were supposed to share she will share them with someone else, if she hasn't already. I'm just a bit peeved.

 No.4214

>>4213
I get the feeling. I wish there a word for "nostalgia for a loved one who doesn't think about you."

 No.4238

File: 1676707852300.png (2.33 KB, 488x296, 433863bb.png)

>>4212
My dad gave my mom covid. Worst Valentines gift ever.

 No.4242

File: 1676909711350.gif (1.63 MB, 1024x768, 434ebf773e22985e3e39986baf….gif)

after dealing with so much shit online, and none of my friends having anything going on lately, i decided i would like to get into dating.
seems like where I live it's not as common to approach people on bars, and it's more focused on events, but i'll figure out a way

 No.4243

and no i won't use dating apps

 No.4249

File: 1677485077948.jpg (383.77 KB, 1920x1040, slurp.jpg)

>>4242
>>4243
>seems like where I live it's not as common to approach people on bars
it's more and more like this everywhere now. tho most relationships still start thru either mutual friends or work/school, dating sites or 'the apps' are very common now. sure they suck but what are you gonna do? sure the vast majority of people are shit (if you're not a normie) but with persistence and making use of multiple platforms (one must cast a wide net after all) you will occasionally find another human being of worth.
but after saying that, yes of course, it is better to try and meet people in real life if you're capable, but I understand the many who are not. i can't imagine finding any more worthwhile people at bar's or such public places to be honest though, my match, like myself, spends a lot of time in her room and does not go out to a public drinking or dancing spot to spend her leisure time.
if that is the kind of person you are though, more power to you and good luck.
have you figured anything out yet, sushi roll?

 No.4271

File: 1677981098225.gif (1.92 MB, 356x200, 5badb4681c0e66d76131f22483….gif)

Call me whatever you want but why it's always people who aren't really developing anything for themselves the ones chasing romance the most?
Or is it just me? It happened that I was at a store that faces the avenue, the clerk is very nice and I liked her because she was playing Zelda music one night, but then a group of 4 teens that looked to be in the poverty line pass by and one of them try to break the ice with her.
I never said anything to her since she probably has her own life and I don't wanna make any future interactions with her awkward, but it just mesmerizes me really.

 No.4273

>>4271
Looking for a reason to develop themselves, aren't they?

 No.4274

File: 1677999630780.gif (1.56 MB, 540x501, 1f3113fb44862e32ddb1f497bc….gif)

>>4273
Nah they just chasing the drug like feel

 No.4309

File: 1678901634080.jpg (31.69 KB, 627x885, lum pose 1.jpg)

I am married and I have been in love everyday, it is different from fresh love but in a good cozy way. Don't give up hope single sushis your gunna make it.

 No.4349

>>4309
I'm too old to make it ;_;

 No.4350

File: 1678927206810.jpg (60.06 KB, 640x638, 1678454349716749.jpg)

I have completely given up on it.
Dealing with someone into your life just feels like another job. I need to fix my shit first and then maybe I'll think about it.
I think I'll reach my 30s without ever kissing a girl, shouldn't be that hard really.

 No.4358

guy I like PICKED ME UP, in HIS ARMS
crazy how some people can just do that

 No.4370

File: 1679365177960.jpg (112.19 KB, 1114x1116, 1663808245072253.jpg)

I wish i was born a girl
If you're a girl, you'll have men putting a façade, backstabbing and disposing of their friends to get to you, and treat you as if you were some kind of game to win.
I can't imagine forcing myself onto someone else, feels like a lack of respect.
I'll always be alone I guess, suckers finish last

 No.4371

>>4370
> If you're a girl, you'll have men putting a façade, backstabbing and disposing of their friends to get to you, and treat you as if you were some kind of game to win.
This isn’t something that “happens to all girls” or is even close to a universal experience of girls. And trust me, if you were a girl, you would *not* want this. No healthy relationship is built on this concept.

The language around having “game” hurts men and women.

 No.4374

>>4370
You don't want to be chased by lying manipulative jackasses like that. Trust me, you don't. I have been. It sucks, and I got hurt. Being with a horrible person is NOT better than being alone.

 No.4413

File: 1680576947577.jpg (429.03 KB, 1248x1080, 1659666998558081.jpg)

There is a person that I really really like, and I come across her fairly often. Sometimes I get scared about being with this person again, but in the end it was just me not being in the right place at the time. I think this person may also be thinking of me? Hopefully that's the case, sadly I think talking to this person out of nowhere seems rude and disrespectful.

 No.4414

>>4371
tfw when no girl(even manipulative) ever is chasing you.
I'm the one who manipulative tho, bc no girl'll ever love such generic man as me without altering her mind with some tricks. And I feel bad bc of this. I'm literally man from >>4370 image

 No.4415

>>4413
It is in no way disrespectful. It's best to get into this mindset: let the other person make that judgement. Sure, it means you might get rejected sometimes, it's much less painful than regret.

 No.4416

File: 1680610710893.gif (540.25 KB, 300x320, 1637588834608.gif)

>>4415
but how could I realistically appear without being all awkward?
i am so stupid

 No.4417

>>4416
I don't know what your exact circumstances are, but if you have her contact just ask her to coffee or something. If you have a place where you regularly run into her already I assure you awkwardness is only in your head. Running into her again there would be natural by default, and even if its not, a little of that sort of awkwardness out of interest can be fine. Just say hi, even if it's obvious you only showed up for her, if she's really thinking of you she'll like that. And again, if not, at least you'll know. But try your best!

 No.4418

File: 1680623258760.jpg (1.58 MB, 1920x1200, 1653584508077.jpg)

>>4417
We don't really just have the same space, we just share the same places on the internet. It's not someone who lives close or that I have the money to travel to (yet), but I think to share just a few spaces here and there mite b cool.
Technically speaking I'd just be an internet stranger at best, a creep at worst.

 No.4421

>>4418
I still maintain that you should relax and just reach out when you find a good time to. Asking to chat doesn't make you strange at all. People like getting to know people better.

 No.4422

File: 1680718979614.jpg (57.48 KB, 563x573, 1673438915385-0.jpg)

I had a strange, whirlwind crush on my coworker last fall. She used to just open up the archive where I do most of my work, but last year there were some changes and we now work together for a few hours every week. I had not been that interested in her before, but having to spend so much time with her made me realise that she is extremely cute. Talking to her made me feel very giddy and I thought about her constantly. As soon as I learned she had a boyfriend and is also ten years older than me, it was like those feelings disappeared in a puff of smoke. I'm grateful for that, at least.
I have thought about it and I never want to go through that again. Not that I feel upset over her, but moreso that my judgement became so clouded. Even though I tried to convince myself that she was just being friendly, I still misread every interaction. If we had gotten along better, I think I would have asked her out despite it being unprofessional. Fortunately, I am extremely quiet around most people and we mostly work in silence, though she sometimes like to rant about her work if she's annoyed about something, so we don't have any chemistry.
Still, the fact that this was my only real line of defence concerns me. I will need to rethink how I deal with women in the future.

 No.4423

File: 1680719510096.jpg (56.78 KB, 576x768, 34r2efew.jpg)

>>4422
Tale as old as time.
If it works for something, she is not meant for you, something better awaits on the corner, you just gotta know what you want in life, go there, and eventually you'll meet someone.
*Disclaimer: This "know what you want" thingy may involve social environment, like language or art classes, clubs relating to a specific subject, or even just events with your specific interests. Emphasis on yours.
You got this king.

 No.4424

https://youtu.be/Ma7lyfYzIw8
For all my friends in this thread.

 No.4430

>>4423
Thanks sushi. Your words are appreciated.

 No.4440

File: 1681089702286.jpg (629.63 KB, 2362x2834, FsTBr8vaMAA5KYR.jpg)

I kinda wanna get into a relationship, but I got no money.
And I also got no idea how to behave with someone else. With a friend, I just like talking for a short while, and then do my things. I'm busy with daily life but at the same time if I don't find someone else I'll be stuck with my previous partner in my head and it won't let me get to know more wonderful people.
It's more annoying when I became quite avoidant. Just dodging every person that comes into my life.

 No.4502

Someone just stab me and make me bleed out til i die.

 No.4516


 No.4524

File: 1685333239876.jpg (383.96 KB, 984x819, 3218ca97560b7437fc7de5af6b….jpg)

Right now. And he doesn't love me back. But it's okay. I like the feeling of being in love even if nothing comes of it. It reminds me that I'm human.

 No.4528

>>4524
Misogyny acquired

 No.4529

File: 1685550864355.jpg (292.85 KB, 640x557, 1c78e234e6eb613c886409aeb9….jpg)

>>4528
???? I am a bisexual man ????

 No.4530

>>4529
Ooooops

 No.4531

File: 1685578690045.webm (3.36 MB, 400x329, umbrella.webm)

i think a couple of weeks ago! but not quite love, just like, adamant appreciation of them being in my life. not quite "ohhh i wanna be with you forever soulmate etc etc" but rather "i really appreciate having you around and i really like planning things with you!". days flew by like nothing and im realizing i felt lighter than air then.

i never quite experienced love like that with a friend i think. it's an intoxicating thing even though it's not quite the same as romantic love, and it's worth fighting for.

and then i messed things up by sleeping with their friend (which they encouraged) at the wrong time and then doing LSD with that friend, then they forgave me for all that, but now they're mad at me for a reason they wont tell me about. i think otherwise i'd be like "oh, whatever" but dang it really hurts not knowing how i hurt them T_T

it's been a week, but it's gonna be ok.

 No.4532

File: 1685621600752.jpg (151.89 KB, 1012x1570, 03eace5a58a927374133b6fb21….jpg)

literally never since middle school. it's been eight years, but I don't exactly miss them anymore. it's honestly a bit concerning. i feel like i don't even love my parents anymore. i don't really want to be loved, either. love seems more like a foreign conjecture than a personal feeling to me.

 No.4533

>>4532
Depression? :’)

 No.4534

File: 1685653891486.png (2.8 MB, 1000x1671, 1649967443142.png)

I wish I could express my love for someone without feeling awkward, I have always had a persecution complex so it's tough for me to come out and say it. I just end up dying inside instead and by the time I want to say something, it's always too late.
But there is a special someone. Very, very dear to me. I just wonder if she feels the same, I guess only time can really tell. I tried to "replace her" with other people, but I just ended up getting burned hard and I never even got to anything. So maybe she is the one I suppose.
How will I know? I can't tell, lost all ways of contacting her.

 No.4535

File: 1685773224868.png (268.7 KB, 378x475, 1684088632598686.png)

>>4524
i feel just like this. i'm so in love with a friend, he doesn't know but i'm absolutely 100% sure he wouldn't feel the same way, so all i can do is sit with it. even if it's painful it does remind me that i'm human too. things like this are bound to happen

last time i felt mutual love i fucked it up, perfect girl, so much in common and she's one of the few people who really understands me, i broke it off because commitment issues + still had feelings for guy i mentioned. i didnt wanna hurt her. i'd rather be alone than hurt her even without her knowing lol

i've accepted just being alone at this point because i seem to not know what i want, and when i do want something i fuck it up. hehe

 No.4537

File: 1685779199655.png (253.94 KB, 700x823, munapää.png)

>>4440
>It's more annoying when I became quite avoidant.
Ugh. I've been doing this for years with just platonic relationships. I meet somebody and we get along at first but once I get to know them I start to feel like it's a burden and just want to be left alone so I pretend to be afk online or use noncommittal, avoidant language in person. It makes me feel like I'm a really shitty person, but I can't seem to get beyond the feeling that maintaining relationships is a burden.

 No.4543

File: 1685796886593.png (395.47 KB, 480x654, 1654312685235.png)

>>4537
I think I might have a poor understanding of the term avoidant.
In any case, the issue is that I become too invested at what might happen, and if things go south I tend to remove them from my life, which kinda sucks because later things may have gone well but I don't think that's a healthy mindset to have.
I don't like that kind of behaviour, if I can get to talk things out with someone I'd be more pleased, but with how most of the times I try something end up with ghosting, and the other person just doesn't seem to care as much as I do, it makes me annoyed and to avoid being hurt I just remove them ASAP.

 No.4544

I guess there is someone I have a crush on but I wouldn't call it love

 No.4545

File: 1685811952015.jpg (969.3 KB, 3070x4096, idk_socio.jpg)

>>4533
I'm not sure, sushi. At least I don't 'feel' sad or depressed. If being sad was the issue for eight years I'd have gone to a therapist already. It's something more ingrained, like an instinct I simply don't have, as if it was either surgically removed from me one day or never there to begin with, or something like that.

i feel pretty much the same as >>4537 who basically described word-for-word the relationships I had with friends in high school and on the internet. Socializing always felt sort of hollow. I would have periods of going offline for weeks, and the only thing that would have me come back to my friends was guilt. i used to have a particularly clingy and affectionate best friend who shared many of the same interests as me and loved talking to me, and as I would disappear regularly they would keep sending me messages as if I was still there. ignoring them made me feel really bad, but that irrational feeling of 'keeping friends is a burden' and 'wanting to be left alone' wins through, despite all their genuine affection towards me. at some point I snapped, cut contact with all school and internet friends for the last time, and have been on my own since. I have memories of hanging out with them and doing fun things are their home but what I feel should have been a watershed of sadness turned out to be little more than a relief when they moved to another city, and I didn't have to go out with them on the weekends every other week out of social expectation and pressure. I used to hate myself for thinking like this but I've come to terms that this is how I am, and there is little to be done about it.

I'm sure most of you sushis don't feel this way, I've yet to meet someone who does, and I don't want to derail my thread with my alien life experiences. But I am incapable to love back those who love me and it hurts sometimes.

 No.4546

>>4545
s/my thread/this thread/, sorry for impersonating you there OP.

 No.4695

i wish i ever experienced love/a crush, i feel like a bad person for turning down people that had feelings for me
i also don't have anyone to relate, the only other virgins actually experience love and their problem is that they get rejected
i don't know if there is a term or a community for what i'm experiencing, i'm thinking i'm maybe aromantic but it wouldn't make sense since i want to have romantic feelings, desperatly
people have trouble believing me when i say that i never fell in love, i feel so anormal (in a bad way)
i also wish i had female friends, but it's pretty much impossible when everything is so sexualised
i feel like >>3570, at best i find someone interesting but i don't even understand what love could be
i'm thinking maybe everyone is faking it and calling a crush simply finding the other person sexually attractive and that love is something like a good friendship with sexual attraction but that sounds very depressing, if that's just it, i can just have friends and a sextoy

 No.4770

>>4546
Will you just reply?

 No.4771

File: 1704276757543.png (100.7 KB, 430x213, Untitled.png)


 No.4782

>>4545
All of my current friends I seldom talk to. Neither of us talk to the other for months at a time, and then out of the blue reach out and pick up where we left off. It's really nice as someone who finds most relationships boring but gets lonely.


I haven't felt love since my relationship with my ex fiancé went south. I have had minor little feelings here and there, and the odd hookup, but not love-love. I also became far more of a shut in since then, so no relationship has had enough oxygen to burn to the level of love. Although now that I am older I have discovered that love is not a feeling. Not really. The feeling folks describe as love is not love. It's infatuation, or puppy-love and it fades. Not knowing this caused me to ruin some really excellent romantic relationships in my youth as the feeling I thought was love faded. Love is not an emotion but a choice. One day that infatuation will fade. The relationship will run out of tinder and the fire will reduce to embers. Love is when you stoke those embers and keep the remnants of that fire alive. There may be a spark, and the fire may ignite again, but true love is the bed of coals. Not the flame.

 No.4784

File: 1704549093186.png (1.37 MB, 930x1300, Ganbare.Douki-chan.full.33….png)

>>4782
>true love is the bed of coals
nicely said

 No.4790

>>3277
recently actually. it was a bizarre experience because i never really experienced it as a kid / teen. didnt work out tho but hey, it happens. it was kind of cool though, its like i unlocked a new feeling for the first time in my life lol

 No.4801

File: 1707464611480.jpg (155.23 KB, 736x1104, 0b8aa92eeadf42b174f6f616e5….jpg)

>>3277
Love is an illusion, a cultural phenomenon that is advertised a day in a cultural lore, without a break.
And all this, of course, is tied to the force of sex, relationships, fetishes in the form of underwear, all kinds. In fact, this is a fiction at the level of God and religions.
If you really fall in love with someone in your life, then let this man and this languor, hormonal thrashing, burning. For any person will get tired over time and change, for people are imperfect and do not correspond to invented stamps of myths, dogmas, stereotypes, epics and poetry.

 No.4802

File: 1707511685479.png (182.22 KB, 3413x1920, miss himeno and the ghost ….png)

>>4771
I would like to purchase this website in the interests of the people or persons who use it, Windows Security Questions be damned.

 No.4865

File: 1708975456000.jpg (17.42 MB, 2845x3536, 646463461.jpg)

I want to fall for someone. I want them to fall for me. It's been so long…

 No.4866

I've had three serious partners in my life, two were essentially ace, and all the last one did was confirm that I'm sexually worthless.

i should've just listened to the girls that bullied me when I was 15.

 No.4867

Today and still am

 No.4871

>>4866
Did I make this post and forgot?

 No.4981

I think 2018? Damn that was a long time ago



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