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/hell/ - internet death cult

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Remember to keep it cozy!

Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

File: 1539809989795.jpg (11.16 KB, 598x374, shrug.jpg)

 No.1729[Reply]

My roommate is accusing me of conspiring against him, even though I'm not. What should I do?

Here's the thing: he smokes weed. I do not give a shit that he smokes weed. I don't snitch on people for something like smoking weed. I overheard him saying he thinks I am trying to get him caught. He mentioned that he thinks I am scattering ashes somewhere (what?), sending him a letter (it sounded like scam mail, but he's blaming me for it), etc.

I have had a lot of roommates before, but none of them have ever been paranoid like this.

Also: he didn't say this stuff to my face. I am kind of shy and anxious so I don't really talk to people much, except when it's really necessary. I just overhead him complaining about me.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1738

>>1737
I have two roommates because I'm a broke millennial and cost of living is cheaper when you share rent and utilities. So yes, I kind of do need to live with other people.

 No.1739

>>1738
Do you need to be living with him, that's what I'm asking. Who has the place and bills in their name and is there anyone who you could move in with or move into his spot with 30 days notice?

 No.1740

>>1729
this is what weed does to people. Can you try to get a new roommate?

 No.1741

I would let him explain his worries in detail, then point out that there is no reason for me to plot against him and no profit and finally would offer to go out of his way as much as possible, if that makes him happy (passive aggressive threat). He might overthink his behavior, depending on how close you are.

Also >>1740
If he is smoking heavily every day, that could really be a cause. I remember fleeing to the bathroom when the door bell rang in my green days.

 No.1745

>>1729
For some people, weed can trigger schizoid paranoia and even full blown schizophrenia.
He has simply smoked too much weed and needs medical attention. If you can't get him to care otherwise, you should actually snitch.
This type of stuff can ruin lives, and I've seen it happen many times in my own family.



File: 1534264181837.jpg (3.29 KB, 166x250, 1533053170.jpg)

 No.1579[Reply]

Air bubbles and dissolved air in fluids in IV bags,tubes and syringes is being injected into people.Strokes and deaths.

 No.1580

You know, if you kept this down to just a post every two weeks, nobody would mind. Sure, you can respond to people if they reply to you, but your vanguard of shitposts needs to be quality over quantity or you'll crash and burn.

This one was kinda gruesome, not as jokey as the others. I like the creative direction you're taking with this series of posts, I hope you listen to my advice because you have talent and I want to see what else you can come up with, when the time is right.

 No.1581

evocative

 No.1587

>>1580
I would also like to apologize for not recognizing what you were trying to do sooner. I thought you were a spambot, not an artist.

 No.1684

People are being annoyed, idiots, apartments, papers, morons, ink wasters, loners, virgins, dipshits, bottom feeders, toilet scums, mouth breathers, unemployed, ei collectors, shampoo non-users, greasy hairers, severus snapers, crooked nosers, cockroachers, mouldy food collectors, I saw you going through the garbage outside-ers, seaweed wrap, rotten eggs, balding, impotent, ball-less, hamsters.

 No.1685

>>1684
Not great. You need more -ed words, you only have the first section, plus it doesn't relate to anything in the thread. That's the problem with jokes online, they get told once and are then doomed to become memes.



File: 1486846946137.jpg (298.02 KB, 1280x720, 1486825673334.jpg)

 No.594[Reply]

merorin was here, you guys are california rolls
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1296

>>1294
I didn't tell you about this place so you could troll it

 No.1297

File: 1517197274363.png (67.29 KB, 1366x768, preserving_cuteness.png)

California seems like a place that would have nice sushi

 No.1642

>>1297
It's ok I've heard. Hawaii has better sushi.

 No.1643

>>1297
My experience in the bay area.
For high end sushi, it has some super fancy places like Sawa that are very well regarded.

For a little pricy but not high end, its about the same as anywhere, maybe a little better than $30 sushi meals I've had in the midwest, but its all frozen anyway, I don't think its inherently better.

There are cheaper sushi places that are super adorable. I love Happy Sushi in Sunnyvale for its Dos Spicy roll, which has spicy tuna, spicy crab salad, tempura jalapenos, and a hot sauce.

 No.1682

File: 1538621895101.jpg (35.2 KB, 711x620, The Sky Has Been Segregate….jpg)

>>1643
that feel when no tempura jalapeños

feels hungry man



File: 1537033558747.jpg (79.13 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

 No.1641[Reply]

WAKE UP. YOU'RE IN A COMA. THIS ISN'T REAL.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1669

File: 1538085281997.jpg (101.43 KB, 736x978, f39f876e9e846d63f4fbc09661….jpg)

One of the strangest dreams was where I was having sex with a faceless woman. She had pale skin and was sorta like pic related in terms of body shape. But again, she had no face and when I was about to penetrate her, I woke up. It was pretty hot, even though I like dark skin more than pale skin, a hot, sexy dream with woman is still hot.

 No.1679

>>1669
Did the faceless woman also have to pee?

 No.1680

>>1679
No, I don't really get why I woke up though. I am a virgin so I don't have anything to relate to as far as sex but that makes no sense because all of the foreplay of me licking her and sliding my dick over her pussy.

 No.1681

File: 1538560849198.jpg (178.73 KB, 964x1364, cuddling_with_a_dream_girl.jpg)

>>1669
Whenever I'm about to have intercourse in a dream, I can't get a stable erection, even in lucid dreams, so stick with cuddling most of the time which is pretty enjoyable for someone, who has no physical contact to other human beings in waking life.

 No.3482

Here he is
The biggest douche in the universe
In all the galaxies



File: 1535859723505.png (1.01 MB, 930x1330, Fake News.png)

 No.1617[Reply]

God it would be cool if this story was for real. Post other clickbait goodness ITT

 No.1664

File: 1537875441328.jpg (2.48 KB, 120x117, 1407703387931.jpg)


 No.1667

Chinese heiresses are getting married,wedded,betrothed,wifed,dowries,bridal veils,home-making and becoming vastly wealthy,well-to-do,rich,loaded,upper-class,pecunious,elite,comfortable,genteel,Rolex,Swiss bank accounts,tax evasion,offshore, and cuisine.

 No.1670

File: 1538091858769.jpg (29.76 KB, 400x400, Full Fuckin Service.jpg)

>>1667
This meme will be the one to rule them all. I can feel it.

 No.1677

File: 1538406847519.jpg (70.05 KB, 850x478, 1409018495001.jpg)

>>1670
and the actual bots will love it



File: 1514455112355.jpg (305.01 KB, 1600x1063, kinnikubishoujo.jpg)

 No.1239[Reply]

This girl is strong as hell.
15 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1531

>>1528
Sorry man, I tried. I even gave it a couple extra days. Now we're on to the next stupid thing.

 No.1541

>>1540
why is this spammer only in this thread? weird.

 No.1559

>>1487
thanks for posting that .gif, I've been using it to check up on how gay I am. Every 4-5 days, just clicking on it, watching it, asking myself how I feel about it. Still very berry gay, but we must remain ever vigilant against thoughtcrime, so my routine remains.

 No.1568

File: 1532677507979.png (57.91 KB, 240x351, Mary Baker Eddy.png)

This girl was wrong as hell.
RIP James Hetfield's mom.

 No.1619

More ghost bumps, huh? Dirty ghosts, sneaking in here to steal jobs from hardworking American shitposters. Have a bump.

GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY STUPID GHOSTS



File: 1535163642982.jpg (34.45 KB, 480x480, 1526597320955.jpg)

 No.1585[Reply]

I hate it when I'm reading some shitty news article about some dead asshole and they can't actually come up with any reason this stiff had to live or for us to care about them, so they come up with the same old generic shit you could say about anyone "[deader] was [at least one trait that's supposed to be positive], liked [thing generally agreed to be enjoyable], and [at least one of his close genetic relatives] was sad."

The only real sad thing here is how absolutely superfluous and cookie cutter the majority of humans lives are. Hell even getting some mention in a newspaper after you die is more than most people will accomplish, most people's lives don't even amount to that much.

 No.1586

File: 1535164558080.jpg (158.31 KB, 799x600, Cake and Terror.JPG)

I feel you, the common threads visible in all of our lives make them feel less meaningful, but I would be careful to rank garnering the attention of others as an accomplishment. I am more accomplished than Chris-Chan will ever be, and I'm just some sushi roll you probably won't hear from ever again. Have a nice life by the way.

 No.1588

>>1586
>>I am more accomplished than Chris-Chan will ever be, and I'm just some sushi roll you probably won't hear from ever again.
Fair enough
>Have a nice life by the way.
You too mate.

 No.1589

There's been so much edgy stuff around recently. Society is dumb this death would be a sweet release that. What is going on?

 No.1594

The whole purpose of these ads is to inform people who might care about their old colleague or school mate, but weren't in touch enough to get contacted directly by the bereaved.

Old people use to check the newspaper for familiar names. If they can connect a name to a face, they usually remember the time they spent with this person as well, so there is no need to write a résumé.

 No.1609

"I'm not like the other people! I'm unique and special" -Everyone, including OP, probably.

In fact, it's not hard to be unique. There are so many combinations of things in our lives that the odds of someone else having the same job, taste, skills, life experiences, etc. is pretty much nil.

If someone asked you 33 yes or no questions about yourself, there would be 2^33 unique combinations, or over 8 billion. And there's more than just 33 yes or no decisions in life.

But uniqueness shouldn't be conflated with quality. You can have a meaningful life even if it isn't super different. Conversely, a different life doesn't necessarily imply that it's good.

Just enjoy your life and stop giving a shit about whether you're special or not. Life's too short to give a shit about dumb things like that.



File: 1507736624680.jpg (Spoiler Image, 77.8 KB, 640x570, 6100612361_bd2ed0b474_z.jpg)

 No.1169[Reply]

Tell me your secrets! I wont tell anyone, so it will be a secret between us. We will be conspirators of the internet death cult.

I prefer sniffing on books over reading them. They just smell so delicious.
28 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1583

>>1582
Sorry, I'm different. I've mostly accepted that it's not going to happen, but thanks anyway.

 No.1584

>>1583
No problem. I know it's a shit spot to be in, no matter what decision you end up making. As always, we're here for you sushi

 No.1596

>>1582
I don't know if this is who you're talking about but >>>/lounge/3895 is me.
As it turns out, I won't be getting on it soon after all, mid-2019 is looking to be the earliest. Oh well!

 No.1606

>>1596
Ah shit. Don't count your chickens until their titties grow out I guess. Good luck to you, though :)

 No.1608

>>1606
Lmao, yeah, thanks sushi



File: 1533050794612.jpg (4.23 KB, 132x200, 153261044687s.jpg)

 No.1573[Reply]

Recreating various outside crisis situations or not results in invisibility and speed,altering you and reality,personally affecting reality,your mind returning to the past(time travel).People who are acidic,nervous,shitty and others are being assalted,bleeding and puking acid.They're hungrily pulling and grabbing peoples sleeping genitals,thirstily turning peoples places into a hotel/outhouse and anally attacking colon cleansed people .Surrounded by the future,the past and nightlights,barking dogs,abductions,disappearances,suicides,murders,cuts,suffocations,draining energy.Being pulled towards the future or the past along with your iron coins and other materials your in contact with and surrounded by,people are disappearing,people are being replaced with clones,robots,etc,people travelling back in time are being attacked,getting into accidents or sending messages.People are travelling to the future and to the past.Aliens,people are visiting and sometimes leaving this world,which worlds and times are they from?They're stealing peoples DNA,cloning,growing,making and using the clones.The souls of the dead and others are travelling into other peoples bodies to be young and healthy.The things in the spectrums that have the opposite affect of the things in the spectrums that cause aging,retards,sickness,etc and there's the others in the middle.Some people know other peoples thoughts and are communicating telepathically,interuptions,influencing,scolding,interference,torturing and controlling peoples minds and bodies and murdering and bothering other people listen to the sounds similar to the heat bug and electronic sounds.The soaps are killing people,the nerve and skin damage and where's the sweat and tan,feeling hot and sick?The soaps are turning peoples faces and necks into hideous monsters.Peoples bodies are being damaged and aged by the shampoo,soap,working,rubs,creams,pills,people,food,beverages,etc.Air bubbles and dissolved air in IV bags,tubes and syringes is being injected into people,strokes and deaths.Operating table and bed murders and people being numbed by the dentist.People are communicating with other people through nightmares.People are using other people to say their thoughts.Your superstitious,nature's,etc examples,stuck in this nest.They're waking people up again and again and people are waking up in this place and they're causing other sleeping problems and deaths,picking,poking,prodding,digging people with medical instruments.The TV creeps anPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1532566011713.jpg (190.12 KB, 768x768, war is lean.jpg)

 No.1567[Reply]

Hey Sushis, how many people burn alive every day?

Is that something that science has quantified? Can we pull up any people-burning studies on scihub? How many people burn to death without being reported? How sad and lonely, to burn to death without anyone there to record it for LiveLeak or lol at you.

I hope my death will at least merit a chuckle or two, whether or not it involves fire. Maybe I'll be dying in my sleep with a booger hanging out of my nose, give me something nice and undignified like that and I'll die a happy man.

 No.1571

File: 1532850119547.jpg (253.29 KB, 600x700, simon.jpg)

It is okay to burn with passion.

 No.1572

File: 1532902220447.jpg (49.53 KB, 567x565, Electrodes.jpg)

>>1571
What if I have a passion for getting burned?

Like, should I use shampoo? Seems like that worked for that schizo guy two threads down, but I don't want to go bald….



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