/hell/ - internet death cult

hi hi!!! sorry if the format is weird, this is my first time posting on a forum or anything like this. also dont know if this is the right thread - i'm sorry!! i just need a place to open up about my eating problem.

content warning: anorexia, binge eating

i'm an 18 year old girl and i'm graduating from high school this year. i still live with my parents, and i plan to go to college but still live in this house and just drive to my classes since the campus is so close to where i live. our pantry is FILLED with cheap junk food.

i have always had a problem with a constant need of control. i am a recovered anorexic. i lost weight extremely quickly and weighed less when i was 17 than i did when i was a healthy 11 year old. i have been very close to being hospitalized before the start of my recovery. i would go days on end of not eating or half a meal and then once a week i would routinely have one binge meal that would be at LEAST 4000 calories. yes in one sitting. at some points i would eat an entire pizza and a tub of ice cream and then throw up half of it and force myself not to eat for days out of guilt. i decided to recover because i need to stop putting this energy into "making my body perfect" and "having control" but rather put this effort into being a better sister, a better friend, and a better person. being hungry all of the time made me miserable and insufferable to the people around me. i was an awful person who constantly put down the people around me due to my own internal insecurities.

now that i've gained a LOT of weight (in the past 5 weeks i've gained 35 pounds) i'm 5'6 and 128 pounds currently. i look "normal." my issue is that now that i've forced myself to eat 3 meals a day i cannot stop binging. i have my first two meals at school so those are pre-packed (with healthy stuff that i enjoy!! salads, fruits, nuts) and both meals are around 550 calories. i have absolutely no problem pre planning my meals and eating them at school where i literally don't have access to a fridge or any other food. but on my third meal when i get home, i eat the whole fridge. the minute i walk into the house i go to get food. just sitting downstairs a room away from my kitchen is a trigger. i have that whole binge thing i USED to have once a week, now every SINGLE day. i've been struggling with eating for so long that my body cannot feel "fullness." i can't stop. i haven't allowed myself to eat for so long that now it feelPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I have eaten all the sushi and now have enlarged.

It boggles my mind how many people trust Wikipedia and think it's generally above bias. I remember when I used to do edits and they had power users who watched pages and fought adding criticism of the Intellectual Dark Web for years, by removing links to articles that criticized those influencers, until the momentum turned against them because even people who didn't care about the IDW could tell they had become a total joke.

Wikipedia is also extremely biased and it just depends on who was able to get enough buddies together to push an edit through and prevent someone else from editing the article. Have you even ever tried to edit an article there? The idea that they're neutral or "usually trustworthy" is just…ridiculous on a lot of topics.

The people who founded it were even followers of Ayn Rand which is where the libertarianism came from until it turned into a place where super rich people can pay money for a company and their Wikipedia editors to turn their biographies into flattering resumes, or to find ways to bury or omit sentences, citations, and articles that aren't in their personal best interests. I think a lot of people who think too highly of Wikipedia haven't ever been involved enough to have glimpsed its dark side. Wikipedia's peer review is not the same process as actual peer review. People don't write as many articles on Wikipedia anymore and I think it's because the sheen has worn off.

I have no idea what the best place for a normal conversation is about this is these days. Hopefully a little IB meta can be tolerated on /hell/.

I feel like nobody thought twice when hiro purchased 4chan from moot in ‘15. Things were flying off the rails. hiro had the social, economic, and legal experience to keep the site going and moot appropriately credited him with inspiration (even though hiro ripped off amezou).

What I think we missed (I certainly didn’t have any Japanese language knowledge in 2015. oh the things I was innocent to) was the perspective of hiro as a person. His edgelord-esque visage and his capitalistic inclinations, to me, seemed to be dwarfed by the fact 2channel was literally stolen from him.

In any case, it appears that GSC did invest a shitton of money in 4chan, and apparently dwango did too (although I can’t find a citation on that number.) My conspiracy theory is that the vtuber board, /vt/, was at least partially created as a way to drive economic interest in Good Smile products and *possibly* dwango’s investments. While I can somewhat understand GSC, dwango’s involvement somewhat eludes me, unless hiro was just very persuasive with his relationships at dwango. But other than the addition of /vt/ and the persistence of 4chan’s weeb origins, I honest don’t see what benefit they thought their investment would bring to them at the scale they invested.

A lot of the articles are talking about how hiro has turned a blind eye to hate on the site, and it’s true— but so did moot. So that much is nothing new. But hiro was definitely absent at the period of time the most was happening and affecting the real world. We’re living with the aftermath now, and the corruption of the idea of “the internet is serious business.”

Just hiro using his connections to prevent the site from hemorrhaging money? A more intricately planned investment? I’m just surprised. What does everyone think?

In this thread, I'll post things that got no meaning whatsoever to waste time

I buy the gutar how do i tune tsrings i don't know what to buddy i don't know how to make the sound better. strings tuning help

Tell me what to do brother=

Do you have a job?
how do you cope with capitalism. Feels like a losing battle to me, every single job I've had I have absolutely hated.

I know how to code but the idea of writing code for a living just feels depressing to me. The alternative is even worse. There's no winning move here, only bullshit for the next 40 years. FUCK

I haven't worked in over a year, how long have my fellow NEETs been NEET?

This is dead because nazi mods

Post your mugshot here sushi.