It might sound weird, but even though he was always part of my life, I don't really remember much of my dad from when I was small… the only memory that stuck with me is waking him up from his nap in order to show him that the dentist had removed one of my teeth.
My parents divorced when I was 7. I was told as I grew up that it was due to money problems, but I discovered when I was 15-16 that my dad had been seeing other women around that time. He remarried when I was 10 and had two other kids.
He's always been somewhat of a distant role-model for me, I guess. For the better part of my childhood, he was pretty busy and came back home late, and after the divorce, I saw him once a week on Sunday. It became a little ritual for us, where we'd go and eat in a restaurant while chatting idly about random things, then spend the afternoon in his apartment, where he would nap and I would use my laptop in the living room.
After the marriage, those moments together would be replaced by having to either eat at home with my mother-in-law or having to babysit my little brothers on the rare occasion we'd go get something outside, which made me resent them and still kinda influences my relationship with them to this day, not to mention they're still hyperactive at 9 and 10, respectively. I wanted our haven of peace to be back, rather than having to treat Sunday as a nuisance, and was even secretly overjoyed at some points when he was too busy to take me out on Sunday.
Having to act as the intermediary between my mom and him was also pretty hard on me at times: he has a business that used to be rather successful, but could never really get it out of the mud after the big economic crisis. I knew that he sometimes had trouble making ends meet (even though he still tried to keep living somewhat lavishly when it was unreasonable to do so), and so having to watch his facial expression seem a bit more tired and depressed every 3 months when we had to pay for school fees (public education is terrible where I grew up) and I had to end the day with a "Hey, dad, by the way…" on the car ride home was tearing me apart.
I guess our relationship is still pretty okay, even if it is a bit awkward. One of his friends told me that he wished he could simply sit down with his son at night in a restaurant and simply talk as if they were with a close friend.
With time, I've learned about his many flaws, but I still wouldn't trade him for anything elPost too long. Click here to view the full text.