Man, I get it. Having a male body and constantly feeling as if you're doing wrong simply due to your birth sex is tough, and it's a rare voice that gets spoken to. But feminism does more good for your than you know. These issues you have gripes with stem as much from the patriarchy as do the ones that plague women. And many of your criticisms most modern day feminist fight to change.
Not defending yourself against a women, the whole "never hit a girl" thing, is deeply rooted in sexism that projects all women as fragile, perfectly little dolls. Defend yourself against anyone regardless of their gender. That's equality.
Men are consistently looked upon unfavorably in divorce settlements? Also rooted in the same sexism as above.
Everyone is independent, but everyone also else needs some strong arms in their life for support.
You can think people are sexy, it's not objectifying to do so. Nor is it objectifying to talk about sexiness. It becomes that once you strip a person of all other characteristics, and see their sexiness as strictly for your viewing pleasure. That's exactly what you're doing when you shout at a random women on the street about her appearance. That isn't a compliment, it comes across as threatening and violent. You put yourself into their own space without considering how it makes them feel. Everyone is free to wear what the want and should be able to do so without being verbally harassed.
I could go on.
I say let go of these binaries you, and so many others, are caught up in. The concept of "man" and "woman" hurt everyone. See how tortured these thoughts and contradictions make you feel? Women feel that too from the other end, and so does everyone in between. We need to work together and empathize with each other without getting defensive. That's the only way we can deconstruct these social forces oppressing all of us.