Went to the GP, got my balls fondled. On antibiotics and getting my left nut scanned tomorrow hopefully.
I'm getting really peeved about how damn hard it is to find a shrink where I live. I just want to be able to talk to someone man.
You can talk to me, I'm a someone sometimes!
I appreciate the offer but I feel I have to get into some personal stuff I wouldn't want to share online. For things that are less personal, well, my problems there are very commonplace, and if you've heard the complaints most common to lonely, aging NEETs with no future you've probably heard mine.
Here's a game you can't get anymore:https://store.steampowered.com/app/821790/Who_Am_I_The_Tale_of_Dorothy/
It's about dissociative identity disorder. I have it in my library.
They took it down on Christmas 2019, see screenshot.
This is the listing on itch.io before it was wiped:https://web.archive.org/web/20190404050212if_/https://onaemo-studio.itch.io/who-am-i-the-tale-of-dorothy
Here's their youtube channel that's still up. You can find some trailers for a couple other games they did earlier. But it's clear that it was their last game that they had the most pride over.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Ef8lwXjcLq3afNfVGDRHg/videos
They had a website too, but it wasn't archived before the domain was recycled.
I can't help but feel like they killed themself. It hurts to think about actually. I wonder what other metastories steam games could tell, if these binaries could talk…
>>10645> no future
well that's nonsense. The future is tomorrow, if you aren't dead yet then you still have a future you can forge. Have hope, and strive for your future sushi roll!
Sushi, I don't know if you're still here, but make sure you keep shitposting. Going into random communities and being me, even just to myself, got me the first friends I ever had, and if I didn't have them I'd probably be in jail or something right now. Never underestimate what even an IRC chat can do.
How much text are we talking about? How many words?
I personally separate my life to pre-Subahibi and post-Subahibi periods, as reading it has completely changed how I view the world. It taught me to appreciate life much more (or rather in a different way) than I used to and also be more honest with myself. It may have a similar effect on you, or it may do nothing if it’s not your kind of thing, but one thing is clear — you’ve got to read it even if it’s the last thing you do. My life has been an ongoing quest to discover life-changing works of fiction, and despite having gone through thousands of books, movies, games and the like, I have yet to find anything to even rival Subahibi. I’m honestly getting goosebumps just remembering it.
I guess that's you?
Thought I have read that somewhere else already.
Might be a bit in poor taste to out someones account names just like that because they reused something they had already written on the matter elsewhere (if that's the case).
I'm pretty sure it's an ironic copypasta meme. The original comes from an obscure VN review blog.
It certainly doesn't. It certainly doesn't.
Is this is it?https://vnreviews.blog/2017/08/31/vn-wonderful-everyday-discontinuous-existence/
Lol. Well maybe one day I 'll get around to playing it when I get around to Utawarerumono first or some other VNs.
I personally separate my life to pre-sushichan and post-sushichan periods, as posting here has completely changed how I view the world. It taught me to appreciate life much more (or rather in a different way) than I used to and also be more honest with myself. It may have a similar effect on you, or it may do nothing if it’s not your kind of thing, but one thing is clear — you’ve got to lurk it even if it’s the last thing you do. My life has been an ongoing quest to discover life-changing websites, and despite having gone through thousands of 4chan clones, I have yet to find anything to even rival sushichan. I’m honestly getting goosebumps just remembering all the fun and kindness I've had here.
vndb lists it as "Very long (> 50 hours)" so a lot. Cant find the exact word count.
The elements on my stove are slanted, so things cook unevenly.
It's okay, sometimes people are dismissive and evasive with that stuff, especially after a big bout of intoxication. Perhaps the situation could've concluded worse than it did, so I think you said all you needed to say and you did a good job considering what else might've happened.
I've built my entire identity around liking games, cartoons, anime, and manga, but I'm starting to realize I hate all of those things. The background I suppose is that I spent my time on ib growing up and I assumed everyone just had to inherently like these things. In the rare case you didn't find what what you liked you just didn't find the right media that clicked with you, "the popular stuff is all slock, look at this obscure thing". I was the latter and I tried the obscure stuff, but it never clicked. Tried popular, no luck. I don't like anything from those mediums beside 2-3 things I can tolerate.
My main irk as of now is how much time I've dumped into these hobbies I hate. One reason I didn't figure out I hated these mediums earlier is that I mostly watch/read yt/blogs on these subjects. All the creators I follow only produce content for these subjects, so I'm going to have to find new people to follow. The things I relate to people I know about is only anime, so I'll need new friends. The only sites I use are anime focused discussion. I even reflectively open manga/anime sites looking for one thing I want, but I find nothing and just sit through random sludge. I know it isn't anhedonia related depression because I enjoy other things.
Also anime art irks me now. In the back of my head I've always never registered anime as "human", but now it's gotten to the point I can't get them. I can see the skill behind it, but they just look like splotches of paint. I can see they're vaguely human, but I cannot feel anything sexual or emotionally resonant with them, no feeling of cuteness, no understanding of it's pain, etc etc. The fact I see these things every where even when anime isn't a topic irks me.
This rants a bit lighter than the other stuff here. Guess I'm gonna have to form a new identity now
>>11335>building an identity around media
That's where you screwed up, media should be a small part of your identity, not all of it.
has anyone ever developed sudden caffeine sensitivity?
i used to enjoy a good coffee in the afternoon with no issues, now the past couple weeks weirdly a coffee in the afternoon seems to trigger a lot of anxiety and even a couple near panic attacks.
i got the vaccine a couple weeks ago and wonder if i still have some lingering unconscious anxiety about it.
Maybe the vaccine made you autistic lol
When you form a new identity be sure it isn't built around things. Find what you genuinely care about, be you, you should be your identity.
you joke, but this might be the case
i have been feeling pretty dumb the past few weeks
Reading this makes me chuckle a bit, because in some ways I'm the exact opposite. I came up largely avoiding, downplaying or hiding my inclination to cutesy anime and such. I tried to like things that, while I was not very interested in, I knew people would regard as respectable. Not to say that Anime is my life: I don't spend much time watching the latest shows, and I tend to gravitate more toward non-fiction audio books, but I always catch myself really enjoying Anime, Games, and other such things when I do encounter them.
The details of this journey would be a bit too long and heavy to discuss right now, but suffice to say, being honest with yourself is the best, I believe. Lies, no matter what kind, will always come back to bite you.
Vaccines lack the ability to do that unless the vaccine was doctored, which is inherently a conspiracy theory
In any case, caffeine interacts very strangely with a lot of chemicals you might not actually know you're consuming. Ask a doctor, don't delay on these things. Caffeine is fundamentally both a drug and a medicine in that it interacts with your body state and anything that interacts with your body state can cause problems.
Parasites or a digestive infection or something.
I've gotten high fevers for the last couple nights, and been feeling weak.
Im up to 180lbs from 160. Im pear shaped, and as a man thats possibly the least flattering shape you can be. I need to get serious about curtailing the stress easing and be healthy.
Not to sound spoiled, but my parents are terrible gift givers. My dad is the more bearable because he doesn't know who I am, but still try to get what I need, he'd get me window cover in a style I don't like for example. I actually enjoy his gifts and use them somewhat. My mom on the other hand doesn't think of anything about the recipient and gives them what she "thinks" they need. Her gifts are random knick knacks or pseudo-science "healing" items. Her worst is how she buys objects without even knowing what they do. She bought a kid a toy addon, she thought it was a stand alone toy, and when they were disappointed with it, thet didn't have the toy or enjoy toys like that, she told them "to cry in their bedroom". She also bought me a "full succulent kit", her words, without reading on the back "plant not included".
It's not the gifts I hate, I'd be OK with random well though out gifts, but how little empathy she puts in them. I can't explain this without showing you who she is, but every gift she gives someone is often something she secretly wants.
I'm used to this now, but this birthday happened after something important in my life and it'd be nice if she put a little effort
I like to lift weights, only started doing it around September of last year, but December that same year I tore something in my shoulder.
After months of taking it easy and not pushing too hard at the gym, it still has not healed all the way. I can't do full range of motion with it, nor can it lift as heavy as my other arm now, when it used to be stronger.
I tore a muscle in my upper arm about 2 years ago at my job
It took almost a whole year for the pain/uncomfortableness to go away entirely, but it eventually did. Just take it easy and don't despair that it'll never heal.
IMO lingering shoulder injuries are always worth having a doc look at them. It may be nothing, or it may be something that will require months of recovery.
This comes from someone who has a general distrust of docs.
This is something I would get checked out at a physicians. They'll perform an ultrasound to determine what problems, if any, are present. Its possible you may have severely torn a muscle, specifically the rotator cuff which is weakened in most people. Look up "Rotator Cuff Rehabilitation" for some basic exercises you can do.
Still feeling like shit.
It's been a week and I don't uite get the high fevers anymore but I instead have a steady stomachache, feels awful. I feel weak and my belly makes me constantly uncomfortable. I can barely eat.
I had some blood tests, nd I'm on antibiotics, but they don't seem to help much. I missed taking a feces test (because I didn't do any) and now I'm considering taking it and going back to the doctor….
I really wish this would end soon.
I can never seem to get through self-checkout without it calling over staff multiple times.
Last time it tried to scare me by showing a clip taken from the overhead camera of me doing what it thought was stealing. Pretty rude.
It's been too damn hot here and I can't exercise like I usually do. Winter can't come soon enough.
I know my brother should take most of the blame, but I really want to tell my parents he's failing a large part because of their hands off parenting style. They don't interact with their child until 3pm and assume he's going to be able to control himself on his gaming computer when he's had a history of procrastination/distraction issues. One has a job as an excuse, gets home at 3 gone in an hour until 8, but the other is stay at home and just chooses to sleep until 3 wake up for an hour and sleep until 7. The stay at home refuses to get involved in their schooling because "they don't get it", they don't get it because they were uninvolved for such a long time nothing makes sense. The worker only checks his grades once a month by asking him even when they had his digital gradebook and my brother will lie to look better. Not to take the blame off my brother, but my parents do literally nothing to control him and they get mad when his grades are suboptimal.
I also think my brother has executive dysfunction issues. Again not to take the blame off him, but when he talks to me about late work he tells me he has a giant mental block that stops him from doing it and the only he can overcome it is with close. He knows he's massively behind, but he just "can't get started". I had these same problems as a kid and I know it wasn't just being lazy, but not being to make your brain work without 25 life hacks. I tried telling my father, but he didn't get it and said "just start the task".
Somewhat related, this is my first time writing this out, but my dad "forgot" I was suicidal as a teen. I asked him to take me to a therapist because I was having suicidal urges. He said he would, but a month later nothing I asked him and he was waiting for his insurance. 2 months and he still didn't do anything I asked, but he just shrugged. 3 months he just asked me if I was OK and I should avoid school stress. He never bothered telling me what happened to the therapist and I really think he forgot. I didn't want to ask again on a teen because I knew it'd just make things worse, my problem were due to my relationship with him, but I lied and said school work and know he wont stop telling me "don't be stressed at school", and he would most likely still not get the therapist. I don't know what to feel or do with this memory.
I had a similar although much less extreme experience with my parents when I was younger. I struggled with severe depression all throughout my teen years and never realized my problem was mental - according to my parents it was always "spiritual" or an "attitude" problem. However instead of talking to me about these sorts of serious issues they spent most of their free time either on house projects or watching TV. Almost every serious conversation I had with my parents was with them watching the TV instead of me.
Not until I was 27 did I realize I had some mental issues and began taking steps to fix them, with some success.
For a while I really resented my parents, eventually I realized they were only human and probably had(have) depression, but since they never believed in it they just carried on with whatever their coping mechanisms were, like distraction with TV (unfortunate for me, though).
Your parents probably suffer from a similar mental dysfunction as your brother, but since they are older its manifesting as inattention to you and your brother rather than falling behind on their own work. Just like your brother might put off work, they have been putting off work on their relationship with you to the point where things are dysfunctional. Unfortunately there is probably nothing you can do about them. Be there for your brother and do your best to guide him towards a better life however you can.
I've been away from a server for nearly a year now that I had part in for several years prior to leaving and I'm wondering if its too late for me to rejoin and try to reconnect.
I think I have some kind of stomach illness. Gonna go to the doctor if it doesn't get better today. Lots of sharp pains that feel like hunger pains even if I've already eaten, and I feel nauseous when I do actually eat.