It's not that simple, Even if a person is to blame for their problems there are always more things leading up to the problems creation, Nobody exists in a clean vacuum completely separated from external influence.
I am to blame for my current situation, I'm well aware of that, but I'd say society bears some (not all) of the blame for my situation happening in the first place.
And since there is nearly infinite number of cofactors, it all becomes simple.
Simple in the practicality of daily life, "Do your best with what you're given" but not so much in singling out an element to put all the blame for an existing state even if the self/person is the focal point of all these factors.
I think it's a mix as other sushi roll said. There are factors that screw you up (extreme poverty, high violence), things that can prevent/cause problems (good parents, community), and yourself. An example of this is while I wasn't failing high school I didn't have the best grades. I know it's mostly the fault I didn't do the best, but factors like my parents never caring if I got a 60 or my school being the worst in my state pushed me down that road. Again I'm not blaming them, but if my circumstances were different I would be different.
Of course not.
i put myself in very hard situations, like entering medschool, and now all ahead just feels like tons of hard work. I dont know in the first place why this seemed like the easiet way to go.
each person, with the exception of certain prisoners and the like, has a certain degree of control over their life. Some more than others. A lot of social circumstances can severely limit a person's ability to do what they want.
However, every person has the ability to try their hardest to get something. If you want something, than try to get it over and over again until you die. You'll probably fail dozens if not hundreds of times doing so. But failure is not a sin, giving up on what you want and allowing that regret to steep inside you is. Go out there and try your hardest to get what you want. Even if you fail forever, the attempt itself is admirable.
If you see yourself as part of the society around you, then sure, you can decide where to apportion blame and responsibility for your life.
If you do not, then there is no choice. There is only the world as it is and the limits of your own will and strength.
I take responsibility for what I do but not for who I am. I didn't decide to have the limitations I was born with. I am doing my best.
Very nice post, you should have a bonus cup of tea.>>6935
Although I'm not always doing my best.
Yes. My problems of a lack of intimacy, friendship, or whatever social needs exist out there, it's my fault. It's all in my head. Nobody can change my mind except for myself, and yet, I don't fix any of it. I perpetuate this never ending cycle of negativity because it has become so natural it's more comfortable to be depressed and mellowed out than not.
No. Unironically my biggest problem is caused by society and it's retarded laws that limit people unfairly.
Yes! I got a used pump driven espresso machine and now I can have nice espresso every morning!^^
I just went and bought some new beans today. They are always best when fresh.
Coffee people yay!
I aeropress every morning, have a Comandante C40 and beans from a local roaster, it's expensive but so worth it. It kind of coincided with me getting my life back in order last year so I always associate morning/afternoon coffee at home with good things.
I've been dreaming of getting a second hand La Pavoni or Gaggia Classic to move into home espresso. What machine do you have?
La Pavoni and Gaggia are dreamy. My first machine was De'Longhi EC155 with a hario slim. Then I found a EC220b on kijiji and gave the EC155 to a friend. Both have been great. I also found a used burr mill electric coffee grinder and modified it to do espresso size. I'd like to try a direct lever pull machine some day, or maybe build one.
Local roast beans and Comandante sound like they really outshine aeropress. Its good coffee, but it's not espresso. Life's too short not to drink espresso imo. Get an EC155 or whatever you can find that is used and pump (not steam) driven so you can start pulling espresso. Then lurk for a good deal on your dream machine.
Thanks for the reply. Makes me feel warm to hear from a fellow coffee roll.
I am to blame for my problems and my cozy coffee mornings.
It's always nice to see coffee people all over the places.
I don't have anything, because I work at a cafe most of a month, with few days off, so I drink coffe at work. But it's a cuppa coffee made on commercial equipment ^^
We've just got a new machine a week ago! A white, shining and shimmering, Sanremo Verona S 2gr. I finally can program the machine and be calm about it when I'm away. Before her we had an old, old manual Wega Atlas machine. Last months she
was not feeling well.
And I live a 10 minutes walk away from work anyway, so it's no big deal to go to work on a day off to get coffee.
>>6985>10 min walk away from cafe you work at
Sounds pretty comfy desu
aeropress is god tier – super easy for me because living alone sometimes you just want one cup of coffee without wasting a whole pot, plus it tastes amazing.
Everything I try just fizzles out before bearing fruit. I really need to try harder to change my life but it's rough.
I desire to live in a specific way, society is in the way.
I value my desires more than I do society.
Just stopping by to tell the coffee rolls here that we have a coffee thread >>>/kitchen/75
that needs some love.
buff girls are very interesting
I have an internal loci of control, so yes: Even though culture does affect me, I am ultimately responsible for many of my successes and failures, and it's on me to take the onus for whatever happens that was within my control. That is the only path to personal growth and success.
Yes. I won't let you have my problems. They're mine and mine alone!
I highly agree. For me it was mathematics which affected my career choices, in terms of higher education. Now I feel guilty for labeling myself as incapable (back then, instead of trying harder) because later I had to study some math for college and ended up enjoying it, ironically…
Another thing was being the peacekeeper of my family during "teenagehood". Very unfortunate circumstances but made me mature early and now I can socialize with, and coax, anyone I want even though I'm more on the introvert side.In summary
, poor circumstances nurtured certain skills and traits which I capitalized on once I became aware of them.
Life will never be perfect but I can safely say that I'm now better off than myself last year, family and childhood friends. And the reason for this was my envy of people dressed and behaving nicely, big houses and friends with good grades and whose parents bought them brand new cars when they got their licenses. The key was that I realized I can't keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different, better results.
, I think the individual is largely
to blame for their own condition. The environment only partially shares the blame. We usually think of this from the bottom-up, but I've witnessed, first-hand, people not properly managing vast resources and subsequently degrading their life situation.
Whether or not you're the one to blame for your problems is immaterial compared to the fact that you're responsible for them, in the sense that nobody has a vested interest in fixing your problems but yourself so you best get on it instead of assigning blame. It's often not really your "fault" but that doesn't matter, does it? What're you doing to do, sue society?
I was born with autism and thats pretty much bringing me down
This sushi has a point. There's a chain of causality for "problems" but you can't follow it to the origin. It's like throwing a handful of pebbles in a pool of water. Which single pebble caused the ripples?
But I'd like to add that the only control we have are our own subsystems, so it's best we focus on the things we can change there instead of trying to shift blame elsewhere.>>11305
This is the conclusion I've also come to like many of the sushis in this thread. For your own sake, it's not practical to give up responsibility for your problems even if you believe society is the root cause. At the end of the day you're going to have to solve your problems, so it's best you take responsibility for them regardless.
You could challenge society if you don't like the problems dealt to you like >>11350
said. But even then you would still need to take responsibility for yourself to make that difference.
So to finally answer the question. Yes, I am ultimately the one to blame for my own problems.
I'm not the one to blame for my problems, but I am the one who decided to take issue with them.
Oh I think I never posted my pov on this.
I think our haracter has a nature of it's own, and while we might be responsible for our own well-being, both mental and physical, I do think we cannot behave as our cultural heroes would tell us we should. I believe more in the taoist ideal of going with the flow rather than try to fit a mould to reach someone else's goal.