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File: 1553467568167.jpg (31.21 KB, 640x639, 51c846e0300a115cd54839416b….jpg)

 No.5384



what's your experience with love? falling in it, falling out of it, one-sided or mutual.

currently i'm crushing very, very hard on what might be the most unreadable person on earth. i fell in love (i guess) when they asked the professor if they could step out of class and stumbled over whether to say "can i" or "may i". they went with the latter (and said please) and dropped their phone on the way out.

crushing this hard is like throwing my heart and brain in a blender and pulverizing them at the highest speed, but the blender short-circuits and the whole thing just combusts and explodes. i've always been a hopeless romantic, so this is a real weird mix of unsurprising and absolutely terrifying. i've never been so frustrated and so joyful in my life.

how about you, sushis?

 No.5385

I can't even talk about it. There's a huge hole in my heart, and it's not going away. I'm a shell of my former self.

 No.5386

File: 1553523057361.jpg (80.48 KB, 1200x1065, horodamsmr Dgbk4BHVQAADqfd.jpg)

Absolutely zero. I have never had a crush on someone or experienced romantic feelings towards someone, and as far as I know, the reverse is true. I've never had trouble with normal friendships, but anything past that is just a nebulous area for me.
I sometimes wonder if I'm dysfunctional. Maybe it's one of those aromantic internet snowflake things?

 No.5387

File: 1553525821698.jpg (253.12 KB, 1065x1500, Suemi.Jun.full.2214161.jpg)

I've been quite lucky actually, had some fruitless flings and two year+ relationships even though I've always been kind of off and reclusive.
The latter one got very weird though. In short I left her cause I got too deep into depression to handle a relationship well and didn't want to waste her time, tried to get back together later but to keep it short she treated me like garbage and excused her several backstabs with that I had left her once so "it didn't count".
Have been keeping to myself too much to meet anybody new, and we were together a good while so I still feel attached to her at least meat-wise. I don't really crave sexual contact with new partners, I still crave her, even if I could never trust her enough to let her that close again. Guess that's the point of rebound stuff, clear the poison out of your system by ingesting new ones.

 No.5388

File: 1553539625799-0.jpg (15.65 KB, 395x271, tea-porn.jpg)

I don't get your experience.
I've had a (one day short of) 2 year relationship which dissolved after my depression kicked in. Even during first cute months my brain and heart weren't thrown anywhere, I just liked her and wanted us to be together. That's not much romantic, but that's all I know about love.
I've given up on social side of life almost a decade ago, living without friends, relationships, sex, shrinking my social circle, turning down flirting and this friend-ish kind of talk when people try to make me came out of my shell.
Somehow everyone I know has a boy/girlfriend except for me. huh

 No.5389

>>5386
stay pure sushi!

 No.5390

Dated a girl once, then she cheated on me. Now I don't trust people enough for relationships, because I think that, if I date someone else again, they'll probably cheat on me too. It's emotionally devastating and I don't want to deal with that again.

 No.5392

When I meet someone attractive or someone who shows interest in me, I usually get too tense and self-conscious to act in a proper way. On top of that I know damn well how volatile romantic feelings can be, yet an intimate relationship should be something profound and honest imo. Most of the love I witnessed ended in anger and grief, no matter the time spent together.

Recently my mom broke up with her (second) husband, nonchalantly destroying our family and over two decades of shared lifetime. Fuck this shit, I'll stay single.

 No.5393

File: 1553609382008.jpg (2.09 MB, 2000x1091, are-you-still-in-pain-by-c….jpg)

>>5384
Crushing is a strange experience; full of both grief and joy, as you say. I crushed on my current gf for about three months or so before asking her out, and, weirdly, I look back on that time fondly. It is the most innocent part of the relationship - pure, unconsummated attraction. Most people, including me, need to relieve their sexual urges every once in a while. But sometimes I wish it weren't like that and having a gf would be about having a very good friend you can hug and write cute notes to. Anyway, hope things go well for you, OP.

>>5392
>Recently my mom broke up with her (second) husband, nonchalantly destroying our family and over two decades of shared lifetime.
I feel those feels, sushi, even though in my case it happened when I was quite young. All I can say is that I'm sorry you have to deal with it; but you'll be fine. We all will.

 No.5395

fell in love with a girl
first person in the world who "got" me
started online for a year and a half
fall utterly in love
we finally started meeting in person
was too shy to even hug
she'd sneak out late at night and we'd watch movies
brought her back one night and her parents found out
called me
threatened to kill me
kept my distance for a couple years
she follows me to the same college
I am too shy to approach her
turns out she started seeing someone else.
feel betrayed
try to rebound with a different girl
can't unlove the first
try to reconnect with her
but she keeps her distance and is seeing someone else
seems like she is picking on me
seems like she is making fun of me
lowest point in my life
frustrated
tell her she sucks at art
she bans me from her life
ignores me
mfw I am stuck in love with a person who wants nothing to do with me

some days i want to move on and i cant
some days i can move on but don't want to
most days i am numb to everything
everything sucks except music

i wish everything would go back to how it was
i just want to be with her and watch movies again
i'm pathetic.

don't fall in love, kids.

 No.5399

There's a girl at work… But of course as always she would never notice me. She's really fucking pretty and also very hot. I was speaking to a workmate the other day and he said "you too would make a nice couple, she looks like the smart kind, I can see you falling for her" and that only made matters worse of course.
She's nice though, there are some girls who wouldn't even bother to look in my general direction, this one I talk to (trying to find a work-related excuse to do so everytime) and she's… nice. Though perhaps she has to be nice because it's part of her job -she's supposed to help me if I ask…
Anyway she's walking around and really hot and also cute and it gets to me, I can't help but look at her whenever I can but as many of you may very well know there's this feeling of unease growing in me, perhaps due to the fact that my infatuation is growing and the odds are she barely even notices my existence let alone actually have any interest for me.
Oh well such is lyf.

 No.5403

>>5399
Ask her out. Better to know than not know, it'll be a relief either way.

 No.5404

>>5399
talk to her! it doesn't have to be asking her out, just try and get to know her, her hobbies, the music she likes, things like that. speaking as an irl (sushi)girl i can't count the number of times i lost interest in someone and moved on (or, conversely, someone lost interest in me) because we just never talked.

it's scary, but rejection is better than not talking at all and endlessly wondering "what if". best of luck!

 No.5405

I've had feelings for multiple girls in the past, but they either turned out to be shitty people or taken. At this point though, I don't think I will ever be fit to have a relationship. I've struggled with sensory overload and meltdowns from asperger's syndrome, as well as anxiety and depression. There's a whole backstory behind all of this that I don't think any normal person would understand, let alone a romantic partner. Even if she was willing to listen, it would all be a huge burden to her.

 No.5406

I've felt love only once in my life and it was over the internet (during the ICQ times).
Since then I've had at least 3 girls had a crush on me.
Only one of them had made a move, the other two were always just wiggling about the topic and sometimes throwing in "random" closer-than-personal kind of questions.
Since I didn't feel anything towards any of them, mostly because I just can't feel love at all, I refused them all going with the narrative that I don't want responsibilities and then the pain of an inevitable breakup after they're done with the person I am.
I've long accepted the solitude life. I definitely won't be having an offspring. And I also won't be falling in love anymore. Since it's out of my control, if I accidentally do, I'll try my best to suppress that feeling from start.

 No.5407

I have fallen in love only once. And even then, i'am not sure if i can differentiate that feeling from deep friendship in conjunction with sexual attraction. It's just more painful than good friendship and that's all.
That girl was a friend of mine, when i fall for her. Unfortunately, she is into woman. Well, my feelings mostly passed after a year. She is still one of my closest friends.

 No.5410

call me what you like but I'll just say this because fuck it it's sushi rollymous
never really had any interest in love, was a foreign concept to me, until I met some lad over discord about nov. last year and well I guess he's got charm or something because I've basically turned into some clingy autist who's always fascinated by everything he says and always waiting for him to respond to me and put simply I do in fact love him
doesn't really reciprocate it, he just acts kind of cool and uninterested in it all, but I have asked him, and he does say that he isn't as disinterested and contemptuous as he lets on
don't have questions for the rest of you or anything but that's about it desu

 No.5411

>>5410
feelings have to be mutual
if you like them and they don't like you back, it's disheartening for you, and probably awkward or straining on the other person

 No.5428

>>5404
I read your reply and realized how right you are so I talked to her, well I'd done it before but with work-related issues. This time I gave her a chocolate and asked her for her name and now I can just approach her and talk to her as a friend would, as I do to my buddies at work so…. thanks I guess.
Not that I can really know if I have a chance with her but that I'll only know with time I guess, and if she decides it's actually worth interacting with me more than strictly necessary heh.
Anyway I'm happy about this!

 No.5528

File: 1556800350040.jpg (2.1 MB, 3160x4851, fylkesarkivet-i-sogn-og-fj….jpg)

Would you break up with someone simply because you stopped loving them? They haven't done anything wrong at all. Your feelings just melted away for some reason.

Am I just depressed?

 No.5529

>>5528 It would be the right thing to do, if you gave it time and were sure it wasn't just a temporary thing. It would probably be best to talk to them about it and see if there's something in the relationship that needs to change also. But if one person doesn't have feelings for the other at all and they're just playing the role for whatever reason, even an altruistic one, it'll only build up resentment for them and be an awful shock/betrayal for their partner when it comes out.

You may or may not be depressed, I don't think thinking about this means you necessarily are.

 No.5531

>>5410
If you're female, unfortunately his distant nonchalance is probably only attracting you further. Might be why you fell in love. Pitty.

 No.5534

>>5531 Don't think that makes much sense

 No.5535

>>5528
I'd rather be single than in a relationship I don't care about.
>>5531
That's not how it works.

 No.5537

I had a few crushes in middle school, 20 years ago. Nothing since then.

 No.5539

>>5531
I'm not a woman, but you're not the first person to think I am

 No.5540

File: 1557092050098.jpg (93.22 KB, 649x767, WDNfWtV8GvXDYfloe-Dnr9Znld….jpg)

I've been in love twice.

The first time, I eventually broke up with them. I could see how I would never live up to their standards and would continue to disappoint and hurt them over and over and over. I had a lot of secrets and parts of my life I knew would make them hate me if they found out, so I broke their heart and left.

The second time, I thought I found someone I could truly be my complete self with. Then they started acting distant and not wanting to meet up anymore. Eventually they broke up with me, saying they had too many secrets and that I would hate them if I ever found out. They didn't want me to stress over them anymore, almost the exact words I used to end things with my last ex. It messed me up more than I thought it would, and now I know how my ex felt when I did the same to them.

Karma's a friendly lady.

 No.5541

People can be so cruel. The harder I try to be compassionate and friendly, the harder I spill my spaghetti. But I am by nature a hopeless romantic and a soft heart-ed person. I just want someone to care about me a tenth as much as I care about them. I don't even care about stuff like sex. I just want to hug and cuddle, and companionship.

 No.5542

what is love?

 No.5543

baby don't hurt me

 No.5546

don't hurt me…no more

 No.5547

Oh, I don't know, what can I do?

 No.5548

>>5528
No. I don't believe love is sustainable emotion for the long time.

 No.5549

File: 1557235728212.jpg (23.52 KB, 458x226, antidepressant.jpg)

just started dating this person from my poetry club everything is going wonderfully! conversations between us flow so naturally and we're into the same genre of weird stuff. it seems like we're both kinda falling for each other and we make each other so happy like aaaaaaaaaahhhh this can't be real

love is out there, i think?

 No.5550

>>5549
That's great to hear sushi roll.
(making a note - poetry clubs??)

 No.5552

>>5549

>poetry club romance


yeah this is a really cute post

 No.6297

Nothing at all. I've never been in love, not even a crush. Closest to it is being horny for some buff guys at the gym but that doesn't really count.
I've always been the weird guy and not very good looking, so i doubt anyone ever had interest in me.
One girl (who isn't my mom!) said i was cute once tho.
One part of me intesely yearns to know what it's like having romantic feelings, being so deeply attracted to someone must be very powerful and joyful.
However, based on what i've heard my whole life, love is as much a blessing as it's a curse, and more often than not, leaning strongly to the latter.
This emotion would likely bring me more pain than anything else, so, at least for now, i think i'm better off not falling for anybody.
In fact, i shouldn't even be considering it when i'm currently uncapable of forming real friendships.
My priority is to stop being so hopelessly incompetent when it comes to interacting and connecting to other people.

 No.6298

File: 1573138268190.jpg (90.38 KB, 770x1100, 1141278309575.jpg)

I always figured love would be something that would happen to me when I met the right person, but nowadays I wonder if that's true.

I've been in a pretty stable relationship for a few years now. At first, I was uneasy about the commitment because I wasn't head over heels about them. Since then, I've been feeling more and more that love is something that you build and work on. And at this point, I feel like it's too late for second thoughts. The extent of my commitment means that I have a responsibility for my current situation which I can't escape from.

Am I in love now? I certainly have love for this person, and would hate to see them in pain. But it doesn't seem dramatic enough to describe it as falling in love, but I certainly feel more committed than I was at first. I suppose some part of me is still scared of falling in love for real, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe with time this doubt will pass, and I'll be able to say with confidence that I am 'in love'.

 No.6299

I cheated on a girl once. I dunno if I was in love with her, but at the time I felt like the relationship wasn't going to last (but maybe that's just me trying to rationalise my sins). For some reason I just felt that she didn't 'get me', that she didn't really know my inner self.

I've never been able to forgive myself for doing it. I basically ruined her life. She lost most of her friends, dropped out of school, and now she's on antidepressants. On top of that, it also spoiled my relationship with most of the friends we had in common too.

I'm always thinking about what would have happened if I'd never dated her in the first place. It was hormones and lust that attracted me to her, and the same things made me cheat on her. If only I'd had more self control, I wouldn't feel this guilt.

But even writing this, I feel like it's just something for me to feel sorry for myself about. No matter how guilty I feel, it won't make her feel better. I don't deserve to feel guilty.

 No.6300

>>6298
>The extent of my commitment means that I have a responsibility for my current situation which I can't escape from.
>Am I in love now? I certainly have love for this person, and would hate to see them in pain.
I feel you man. My story is different in that I was head over heels for a girl in my university, and she was head over heels for me. We've been in a relationship for a little over one and a half years now. In that time, my feelings have mellowed considerably.

I want to be her friend. I still want to go on long walks by the river with her. I still want to share bad jokes with her. But I don't want to deal with her emotional crises. These aren't very major but still make me feel hopeless whenever they occur. For example, she will get into a mood and, on the edge of tears, accuse me timidly of not loving her. The more she does this, the less I am able to love her, and the more I want to be free from the expectations she has of someone who is 'in love'. If I were merely a friend, we could have all the same valuable moments without the anxiety of losing our love for each other. (Sexual stuff aside, of course, but that has little value now that it's no longer new and exciting.)

To come back to your post, sushi, I ask myself the same question of whether I am in love, and I am utterly unable to answer it. How would I even know?

 No.6302

File: 1573154894959.jpg (27.83 KB, 400x400, 1fc4a709b973d98fbd77605315….jpg)

I don't really get mine. I'm not sure if I've ever felt love, but I did date someone once.
It lasted for a little over a year, long distance though. Looking back it was pretty obvious the guy didn't really give a shit about me since I was just easy and filled his fetishes but I didn't really care since least someone pretended to give a shit about me. It ended when friends made me snap, he was trying to get me to abandon my entire life and future to live in a van with him and kept trying to walk away from the subject whenever it came up that I didn't want to. I ended having to just explain myself in a message and cutting contact entirely, he never tried to contact me again but one of the friends hit on me while I was still a wreck.
Only person I ever had even the slightest crush on was a girl in high school, she was literally the amazon type (Tall, well built, etc) but also a total weeb. And even then it was more a 'I wish I could talk to her so we can hang out' than anything else.

Since then I don't think I've felt whatever I thought love was at that time. Or maybe I just can't feel it but regardless I think I'm fine alone. Helps that almost every relationship around me is just… Bad. Utilitarian, a cousin fucking a dude for money, one had a fake wedding with a drunkard to get his family's money (She also got knocked up, twins to add to her now 5 kids. She's already with a new guy), and to just not live alone.

 No.6303

Im currently seeing a girl that lives a few apartments down from me. She goes to the same university as me, and so far its going very fell. Its been a while since i've felt this way for a girl so its really nice. In a couple weeks I think im going to ask if she wants to be a couple, and then move on from there.

 No.6311

Dramatic, heart-pounding love can be more helpfully defined as a separate thing called "limerence".

The term first appears in the book "Love and Limerence" by Dorothy Tennov. In it she also talks about a few non-limerent people who just don't understand what everyone else is raving about. The difference is pretty much as >>6298 describes it, but there's more detail of course.

It was published in 1979, so >>5386 can rest easy about being tumblrsexual.

 No.6316

File: 1573322775449.jpg (61.49 KB, 695x647, 1512156615263.jpg)

I was always a hopeless romantic.
I had three crushes, none worked, all taught me something I wish I hadn't known.
I grew up with only two friends, we were the ones misunderstood by all the other but understood by ourselves. One of them confessed to me. I liked her, but I realized, that I was too young to really love someone. So I said give me two years and I will be mature enough. I would actually love her two years later, but in that time depression and suicidal thought plagued the three of us. my other friend became a drug addict, distance followed. I only had her left. I woke up every morning hating my self wanting to kill myself only to go to school and try to stop her from hurting herself. I remember how strangely proud she was when she found a place to cut herself where her mother wouldn't see it. I loved her, but she was over me. I became nearly schizophrenic, i couldnt help her any longer, even though I loved her I went away. a year later, my health had gotten at least a little bit better, I wanted to meet her. but she died. everybody thought it was an accident, but I didn't, it was exactly the manner of death she wrote to me in a letter, two years ago. it has been 4 years since then. Sometimes I still remember how we baked cookies together, with her then still innocent smile. how we talked as little children what kind of dogs we would have together when growing up. how she stuttered trying to confess me, only to turn around with a red face stressfully searching for a letter. looking at me with those deer eyes when I opened them. I am kinda over now. but since then I believe that it is better not to depend upon people, I don't want to hurt anybody nor do I want to be hurt. I also learned that I will never again betray a friend, I see me leaving only because of my mental health as a betrayal.
even though my life has become more normal, from time to time it still returns, it has damaged my capability to interact with women pretty strongly, combined with the fact that I see sex in no good light, and I am lost in this modern dating world.

 No.6326

>>6300
>If I were merely a friend, we could have all the same valuable moments without the anxiety of losing our love for each other. (Sexual stuff aside, of course, but that has little value now that it's no longer new and exciting.)

I know what you mean, but I've also heard people say that hetero men and women can't have normal friendships. Not sure if it is the same with other relationships. In my own experience, there were too many difficult feelings of jealousy and betrayal when trying to remain friendly with my ex, and I was also a bit paranoid that they were getting too intimate with other people. Not that I would have had any right to complain, but it was a difficult situation to find oneself in.

 No.6331

>>6326 If they say that, what they mean is "I can only imagine interacting with a man/woman in terms of sex". Because what else is the fundamental difference between a friendship and romance? Sure, often friendships are more casual/distant, but not always. Maybe that's true for them, but that's no ground to assume for everybody. It being that way for an ex seems different to me though, since you have history and associations with them.

 No.6332

File: 1573517319409.jpg (23.88 KB, 523x786, IMG_20171124_133422.jpg)

I keep dreaming about cheating on my partner and it's freaking me out, because I was just starting to feel confident that I wouldn't do something like that. For some reason I felt like it was ok, because it was purely physical, but that wouldn't make it OK in real life.

I hope this isn't something pathological. Imagine realising years too late that it wasn't going to work.

 No.6333

File: 1573585061235.jpg (156.52 KB, 980x996, 34565436543.jpg)

In my opinion, relationships are a skill to learn just like learning a new instrument. Guess this one may take a lifetime to learn, without the right studying. Its not as simple as getting yourself out there or even marrying the love of your life, i mean even there there's so much to do so you two work out and not always the person is willing, so its such a careful work of choosing and knowing yourself and the person. I had quite a problematic teenhood on this with some complicated girls, but i guess i did create at least half of the problems with them. I can only recommend to learn about and train relationships always.

 No.6499

I never felt romantic love in my entire life. nobody ever fell in love with me and I never feel in love with anyone. I'm almost 27.
what is wrong with me? I'm not unhappy at all but I feel like I'm missing something that everyone else has. do you guys think I should have this checked out?

 No.6500

File: 1575918754764.jpg (481.31 KB, 1434x1414, 2TxkSlw.jpg)

Currently crushing a little on a cute coworker of mine. He's cute, wears cool stuff, and I like how formal and courteous he's been until recently. The only problem is that I'm pretty sure he's too young, even for me. Currently working on stopping this minimal crush.
That's as far as I've ever really went, besides being too dumb to get the hints from this one girl in middle school (probably wouldn't have meshed with her that well, though). I am not willing to go any further. As creepy as it is, crushing on people is pretty fun. Otherwise, I like to be as asocial as possible, as long as it doesn't come off rude. I don't get along with people because autism.
When it comes to love, I am absolutely horrified. There is not a single person in my family without an absolutely broken relationship, besides my great grandparents who never seemed that into each other. I like that I am keeping this broken pattern in a new way. I doubt my siblings will have better luck, though. We just don't seem to be healthy people.

 No.6502

File: 1575926311644.jpg (209.47 KB, 1920x1040, Ujj99yY.jpg)

Currently in a relationship with someone, and while everything is going quite well in my mind in terms of romance, liking eachother etc, sex has been kind of so-so as of late. Both she and I have noticed that halfway through we tend to lose interest, and it just doesn't have that initial spark it once had. Sometimes I even have ED partway through and its really strange because for the first few months I'd been seeing her, it was never an issue.

Starting to really freak out that we might lose sexual interest in each other, and I don't know what to do. I really do love her so the thought is terrifying. This is like 5 months in too, so it's worrying. We're both in uni, so we're stressed out of our minds, and I'm lowkey a little depressed so maybe that has something to do with it? I don't know… Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

 No.6503

File: 1575950940421.jpg (120.68 KB, 720x480, 1407777176257.jpg)

People are exhausting. I've moved three times in my childhood and twice as an adult. People who have never traveled are simple and inexperienced.

>>5528
After that initial lust, I think you end up finding someone who you can tolerate.

Love is a compromise.

 No.6504

File: 1575959225379.jpg (361.43 KB, 1238x1920, e254bc34-3033-486d-8b3e-59….jpg)

i kept dating my high school sweetheart. 8 years later we both got fat and laze around in bed a lot.



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