No.6509
I never had any childhood romance and I cant find anyone with mutual interests. I wanna give up but I don't wanna be alone. I was told women smell desperation so is there even any point in talking to women if it wont work out anyway?
No.6511
>>6509Absolutely worth talking to women. It might appear that most (people) are flat NPCs (and hell maybe there's some truth to that) but you really really never know what could happen. Don't ever give up.
No.6512
>>6511this guy is right because once you give up thats it. you can not un-give up. I know because it happened to me.
No.6551
>>6511>>6512Uncomfy times ahead
I feel like I should, but every time I try I mess things up for myself. I did infact have one relationship but I feel like it messed me up bad. It set me on a path of doing nothing but chasing after girls, desperately trying to get a gf to wash away what happened and make myself feel like this is something I can succeed in. But every time I tried getting close to a girl irl or online I just made the situation worse and embarrassed myself. I don't feel comfortable with romance or intimacy anymore, even seeing it in anime makes me uncomfortable. At some point I started talking to girls on /soc/ but the only thing I gained from that is that I shouldn't talk to girls on the internet. Now I'm just sitting here with awkward feelings, that even if I meet someone I have feelings for, will it work out?
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No.6552
>>6551>will it work out?This and more, you will find out in the next episode of sushigirl in us. Stay tuned for more action packed internal conflicts, self-doubt and questioning it all due to past events and their impact on the current situation!
sorry, I couldn't resistSpeaking for myself, I accustomed to being alone most of the time. Maybe I'm supressing something, but there are just so many important things to worry about, that being unloved and having no significant other is merely a short side stich on the inevitably shortening run of life.
No.6560
I rarely want to connect with women, opting to treat their feelings as a curiosity instead. It's unfortunate because I can typically empathize with my male friends, but I feel some kind of sexual tension, repressed trauma, or some other blocker when trying to empathize with women.
This probably means that most of my relationships will be shallow since the primary component of a relationship is seeing the other person as part of you, a kind of two-person collective.
Even so, my prior experiences tell me that spending a bunch of time trying to force my mind to accept truths that the other person accepts is agonizing. That only leaves me with the option of logically processing their sets of quirks and their current emotions so that I can sort of their intentions.
In the end, it all becomes very tiresome, so I try not to think about love or women.
No.6577
Am currently in a very good relationship with a very nice woman, everything is going very smoothly.
In my (rather limited) experience, love is more of a deep bond with the other person rather than a passionate crush. As you both begin to understand the others personalities on a more complex level the bond becomes a lot more multi-faceted compared to the basic attraction to sexual and surface personality features.
No.6586
I crushed once I think, but she was taken so never bothered to attempt anything. I later learned she cheated on her bf but still ended marrying him so all that was left was the wonder of how I misjudged her.
Nothing else so far, feel if I try something now it would be for the selfish purpose of getting rid of my loneliness, which would be unfair. First I will sort out my shit and then I will try to discover what love is supposed to be
No.6629
>>6628No courage needed - they’re human and just as fucked up and clueless as everyone else
No.6634
>>6629As for the opportunity: I went to all boys schools all my life, until now in college. Everything is socially segregated in my country (middle east), every interaction between the opposite sexes is deemed suspicious. Having a conversation with a girl is rare (even if it was work related). It is no surprise that most marriages here are traditional.
As for the courage: I'm socially awkward. I can't appropriately carry on a conversation nevertheless start one. (Especially with girls). Never had the opportunity to casually talk to a girl since forever. Even starting one seems risky.
No.6638
>>6634Ah, got it. I made some assumptions there - what you said does complicate things.
To the second point though…I don't know. What has worked for me with interactions is I tell myself that, in reality, most people are awkward. Some are certainly better than others at putting up a facade of confidence but I truly think most are scared to some degree. And also asking questions because it takes the burden off of you to provide conversation content :)
No.6714
>>6638> I tell myself that, in reality, most people are awkward. Some are certainly better than others at putting up a facade of confidence but I truly think most are scared to some degreeAnd this is exactly why I think a lot of bitter chan people are totally lost and untangled in their made-up social hierarchy of normies, chad, beta, etc. It's like a strange alternate reality growing stronger every year, but never taking into account truths blatant for anyone being around other humans: Most people are ridden with doubts, fears, suffered traumas, are fundamentally shy, but some are just better at hiding or living with this
No.6715
>>6714Come on on, this is true to an extent, but social hierarchies are real.
No.6718
>>6716Same, I hope I'll be able to be more productive this year. Love life is a mess though, I've come to terms that I'll always love my ex but it's still hard on me.
No.6722
>>6718>I've come to terms that I'll always love my ex but it's still hard on me.Aw man, that shit sucks man. I hope you'll be able to forget and move on to happier things.
No.6898
god, i've dated somebody (for like, 2-3 months) who left me for another person (who is um, an exact copy of me in terms of appearance and personality) and it messed me up. it's been 4 months already but i am still thinking about that person and feeling ill always love them. no one else is interesting to me, i blow everyone off (mess them up the same way) but also want a relationship all the time. i think its kind of like drugs, if you tried it once you start desperately wanting to get some more
No.6907
>>6906I don't hate you. I forgive you. I miss you very much.
No.6909
Don't think I ever was.
But then again, how would I even know.
No.6928
>>6907I don't think he was ever into imageboards so I doubt it's you but on the off-chance it is-I wish our friendship was more conventional. I actually do love you a lot, more than anyone (I hate being mushy but it's the truth bleugh). I can't stand pretending to hate you because my friends didn't like your friends. Eventually, the pressure built to a point where I couldn't stand how much harder everything is now compared to when we were teens. I need to learn how to stop being a complete social retard because it's harder to be happy when I keep forcing myself to be alone.
I wish for your happiness more than anything in the whole wide world. Take care of yourself. I'll see you when I'll see you.
No.6938
>>6928It's me.
It's okay. Life is way harder than I thought it would be, too.
I still believe in love because of you. Love is real.
But when you closed off all communication it crushed me. I was devastated. I was in a very gross place the last time we talked and I feel like it's all my fault. If only I said something different I wouldn't have scared you away. If only I listened. I'm sorry.
I miss you so much.
I wish I knew what I was supposed to do to bring you back.
My happiness is only a stupid mask that I have to wear to make it through a work day. At all moments I just want to be beside you instead, doing or talking about anything. You loved me when I didn't love myself and it gives me strength every day. Thank you for this. I would like to return the favor now that I've found an inner strength of my own finally.
I patiently wait to hear your voice again. I have so much I want to share with you and there's so much more I want to learn from you.
You don't have to be afraid anymore.
No.6939
>>6938This is very odd but yeah you did say something really weird in front of everyone and my friends were pissed off at you, like, majorly pissed. At least it's in the past now and I don't hold it against you. I just couldn't say that in front of them. Anyway, forgot all that–Please get to me on my Discord: import_nltk#5963 I really miss talking to you all the time like we used too.
No.6941
I've been in mutual love for 7+ years now. It's also me and my partner's first love and relationship. We married in our 4th year of knowing each other. Confident we're gonna spend our whole life together.
Also crushes are blind idealizations of people you don't really know well.
No.6970
My experience is that it's a dumb distraction.
No.6974
I feel infatuated with this model I've been studying in my class. I just spoke to him today and spent some time chatting while intimately drawing him. He kept looking into my eyes and it felt like that Nathan for You where he kept saying "again" and the girl kept saying "I love you" except no cringe and no saying he loved me. Just that kind and gentle expression, making me so flushed. I have a boyfriend… I legit feel poly as fuck but I know I'm not. Such conflict. I will probably just lose the infatuation in time.
No.6975
>>6974that's not love. does your boyfriend know about your tendencies? you better be open with it or you're gonna hurt him in the future.
No.6976
>>6975It's not love in the slightest. My boyfriend knows that I met him and I don't intend to hurt him. People can't help infatuations, but they can control their actions. If I find my infatuation has grown I'll certainly distance myself.
No.6980
it's kind of awkward. being a lesbo in a country that views either they're hell-spawns or porn material doesn't help either. liked a girl, actually danced with her in prom (as a joke), but I'll never be able to properly love a girl without getting jailed thus I decided I would not love anyone romantically ever since.
if everyone forces me to love a man, might as well not love anyone.
No.6988
I'm honestly in a really complex situation. I… think, I love someone online, but I can't quite tell if they're a girl, boy or a tranny. And, I'm really only into girls. Hell, to be honest, I don't really even know them too well since we're just together with a common interest, but they're just so nice and we get along well.
And, I'm sure this person does see me as a good friend back, and in all honesty I don't mind that one bit, considering how it's fucking stupid to give info to each-other, but god, if I could take the opportunity to advance just to see who they are I'd take it. If they end up revealing themselves a man or whatever, then we can just be good pals as we always are. They seem to really love just being around me, and they're someone I can actually help whenever they're not too busy with whatever they're doing, hell I like to think I've helped encourage them to get deeper into drawing, though I can't exactly confirm that.
I doubt they'd come to read this imageboard/thread in specific, though I'm sure if they saw this post they'd probably know who was referring to them. Maybe. So to foolproof this in case they do, I just wanna say you don't need to worry about me dumping you as a pal.
God, I feel so pathetic even typing this out.
No.6989
>>6988Don't worry is nothing shameful or bad.
Just try to trade some pictures or be honest and expose your doubts, if they have used imageboards for more than 10 minutes they are going to understand where you're coming from
No.6990
>>5384I'm in trouble big time.
I started dating a girl that I met on an app that lives in Japan. It feels nice, we video call all the time, but it scares me how much feeling loved comforts me, because I know if anything happens like it did in High School, I'll be an absolute mess again. I really love her though. I plan to visit at the end of this year, already saved up money for a plane ticket and some living expenses, but trying to save up more so I can spend comfortably while I'm there. I guess this is a good and bad situation.
No.6997
>>6977I feel that too sushi. I'm a romanticist at heart and would prefer I wouldn't have to go on Life's journey alone, but I'll be fine either way it turns out.
No.6998
>>6976I do hear a lot about infatuations, but I never experienced it when I'm already in mutual love with one person, but I guess it's just my brain.
No.7014
>>6998It might make sense to you that our relationship has ended. We certainly had some problems, yet my heart is still very broken. Depression sucks.
No.7031
There's someone that I know online that I really want to get to know, but I don't know how to get the ball rolling. I really want to talk to her, but our "conversations" barely last a few lines of dialogue before she checks out. It's not like I want to hold her captive in talking to me, but it makes me sad. Maybe it's because we're both introverts? Either one of us would regularly message the other with a "good morning," but neither one of us seems capable of being the first person to ever speak. I tried joking about something a while ago to get a conversation going to no such luck. We've gone weeks or months between messaging one another before, but I really want to talk to her and I don't know what to say to get her attention or make her feel comfortable enough to start having longer conversations.
What's worse is that she checks all my boxes. Jeez. I'm really at my wit's end.
No.7036
>>7031You should have in mind some people simply just don't chat that much. I have a really old and good friend, we get along super good when we meet, but he's always a cold fish over text. It's nothing personal, it's just how he is, text interactions aren't his deal. Just a medium to make plans or exchange information.
Also point 2, deciding she checks all your boxes even though you've only had "conversations" sounds like you just think she's cute and you decided she's a person you'd be compatible with even though you don't know her history or personality. Pull back a little, both for your emotional health and cause if/when you do have that real convo you might be too forward on pushy too early. She's just pretty, that's all. Maybe you have some shared taste in media or something as well, but that doesn't really say anything about your chemistry.
No.7037
>>7036Thanks for replying, sushi. I'll think more deeply about this. I also didn't really mean checking all my boxes in terms of appearance – that's a part of it, sure, but we're both very similar in terms of interests and such, which I frankly care more about – but I do understand your point. We've been talking for a little while and I do know a lot about her background and interests, I just wish she wasn't so distant was moreso my point. She's said before she doesn't really like one-on-one conversations and prefers chatrooms and stuff, so that might be part of it too. I almost definitely sound more invested than I am, but I'm really not of the temperament to be blunt about my thoughts or to ask about this sort of stuff which is why I posted this here. It's more just a collection of thoughts I've had since knowing her than feelings I've come to all at once over the course of a week or something.
… I'm hopeless, aren't I?
No.7046
>>7037We're all hopeless until we find the glimmers, and then chances are then we're back to being hopeless again sooner or later. Just enjoy the ride.
I get your drift. Maybe you don't meet that many people? It's easy to get fixated on somebody then, even though you're not really compatible. Which it seems you aren't, you having known eachother a while and you wishing she'd be more game to add her share to the fire.
People don't tend to change that much, I wouldn't be betting on her realizing the comfy social intimacy she's missing out on.
I dunno, I guess, try to meet some new people? Someone who actually gives back. Once you find somebody like that it seems weird looking back, trying so hard to make it work with cold people.
No.7058
I talked myself out of caring about love or relationships for a very long time because I was afraid and not confident. Now I am realizing that it was a mistake and as I get older I wish more and more that I had some kind of love experience. The times I have tried in the past year haven't gone so well and I can't say I've ever really truly fallen for someone. What I'd like more than anything else is for someone to fall for me but I can't see that happening.
No.7086
I am in a bit of an odd position, but it makes sense to us. My ex broke up with me, but afterward we've remained drawn to eachother. We still feel like soul mates, we're each other's best friends, yet we know it'd be wrong to be together for a while. We need to grow a lot as people before that can happen. In the meantime, we still express our love to eachother. I constantly tell him not to let me hold him back… idk. Is this sustainable? Maybe, maybe not. But I want to be single for at least a year.
No.7089
>>7058you are not alone, roll.
No.7092
>>7086>We need to grow a lot as people before that can happen.This is a cop-out. You should grow together. In fact, that's the whole point of a relationship. If you can only get along when things are perfect but you can't work through things together that's a weak-ass relationship. At the same time, if he broke up with you, there's nothing that can be done about that.
There's no point in "expressing your love for each other" if you're not working through your problems together. It is a sham. Show love through actions and not pointless words/gestures with no follow through.
