/lounge/ - sushi social

Are you male or female? What's your question?

For what it's worth. I think a lot of things you might want to ask will be different for different people, and you'd be better looking for related statistics and studies than asking random internet friends. I don't know what you want to ask though.
Oh, I've got a question for the opposite sex: How do you have a comfy time?

>>13749
Again, if you really want your question answered by the opposite sex you need to state your own

>>13748
im female

my question is about body hair: do guys mind it?
ive dated a guy that said he wanted me to constantly be shaved, not just in my private parts. im a very hairy girl and if i shave everything grows back within a day or two, so its hard to keep everything neatly shaved. i know hair in private parts is personal preference but what about legs/tummy/butt/arm hair?

also while im at it: question for other girls

HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS SHAVED? even other hairy friends of mine are constantly shaved and i rarely catch a glimpse of hair on their legs. is there some secret tool that i dont know off? or do hairy girls just shave every single day? i gotta know

>>13752
As a guy, I think pubic hair is attractive, but personally I think I prefer smooth armpits/legs etc. That said, it also wouldn't bother me to the point of being a dealbreaker for dating someone who I liked. It seems silly to me to expect someone to ALWAYS be completely clean shaven.

I've never been in a relationship but most everyone has body hair to some degree and if I were to be in one I wouldn't want to let something like that get in the way of it. I also think that, based on crushes I've had, when you really like someone your physical preferences often change to accommodate that person. Maybe that is just me though.

>>13752
I don't very much like a thick bush, but I don't really care about a limp one either. I appreciate it if it's trimmed a bit.
Armpits for me are fine, I don't understand why some women shave them clean. Hairy arms are not much of a problem for me, unlesss they're unusually hairy (like a man's). I do like smooth legs though.

>>13752
I'm pretty much a recovering furry. I like hair grow it everywhere be the cute monkey that you are. I can respect other opinions though. Its basically fetishistic (aside from hygiene issues which should be non issues if you shower). So I feel it's a lot of work to ask someone to go to being hairless all the time for your fetish… and I kinda don't like that porn normalizes it. But I'm clearly biased. Cute monkey.

>>13752
I’m also ‘a girl’ and relatively hairy. Honestly, the issue is more with pubic hair than other hair. It hit pretty soon after puberty. I try to shave because it gets super uncomfortable when it grows out, but shaving is uncomfortable and difficult. Maybe I’ll get it waxed someday… it isn’t really motivated by appearance for me, I always do my best to keep myself looking presentable, but I just really want to be comfortable.

I always shave my legs over the summer. It’s just nice.

>>13752
M.
There are more important things in a girl than body hair heh, but I do like girls to be shaved down there.

>>13752
Some do, some don't. It is a fetish after all. I know some who hate it with a burning passion, while other love it above everything else.
Personally I like it hairy between the legs and all other places don't matter to me. As others already said though, there are more important things than that. If somebody takes this as a reason to make or break a relationship, then this person is not worth your affection anyway.

>>13752
Not a woman, but to answer the 2nd question, I use an epilator. Even as hairy as I am naturally, I got over the pain (it does hurt) and it's really worth it for the super low maintenance. I easily cover 2 weeks super smooth.

Also pref no hair and encourage it with my partner, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if that makes sense.

>>13752
> do guys mind it
the answer to any "does X like this" is usually "it depends on their individual preference"

>>13758
What do you mean "recovering furry"? Isn't that a for-life kind of thing?

>>13767
Spoiler for weird lewd discussion
I don't really know how sexual orientation be, but for me, a little after puberty I mostly was attracted to fur. Now I still like cat ears or whatever, but I'm mostly into humans. Oddly, my size fetish seems more like how I've heard other people describe things like being straight, gay, trans… Like, I mostly like girls but guys can be cute too and I don't really care that much about my own gender identity, but if there isn't a 50x size difference between ppl fucking I'm not really that interested. Even that I can budge sometimes, for certain situations or fantasies I've managed to get turned on imagining ppl that are similar size. Actually, because my orientation is already so non intersecting with reality, I've experimented with getting turned on by other random things. I've had some success getting aroused just by music which is a cool feeling.

serious question: is it true men are kinda peeing their pants a lot

>>13770
wwwww what the heck
no? at least not for me???

idk based on what i know its like extra pee that leaks out when ya think ur good and you have a little wet spot

>>13772
oh
well when you go pee sometimes it doesn't all wanna come out and you have to do some, uh, extra work to get the last few drops. So it's not uncommon that a drop or two ends up in your pants, yeah.

>>13770
The way you stated this makes it sound as though it were out of fashion and it is suddenly "in" again.

question for girls
How do you define someone who is like a creep? I feel like this after talking to a girl from college, getting her phone number, and me wanting to continue the conversation through message apps but she didn't reply anything back to me
I just want some contact but my nature may be very creepy.

>>13778
When I was in college I would give my number without wanting to because it felt rude not to. I also was a late bloomer who didn't realize it meant a guy was potentially interested in me. Either or both could be the same with yours. If she's not responding back, I'd say to cease messaging.

Things get creepy when someone is constantly contacting, demanding attention and flirting when im not reciprocating.

Q for girls/women (or I guess anyone who happens to have lots of female aquaintances):
How uncommon is it with ladies that don't use dating apps?
The way I hear them talk about men like items on a shop shelf comparing attributes in this detached analytical way always makes me feel kinda weird and uneasy.
But maybe it's something you have to just suck up and deal with if you don't want to be forever alone in this modern world.

>>13752
I do not mind, wouldn't expect or require my partner to go through a bunch of effort I wouldn't myself. More of a plus if someone would be comfortable to be carefree and relaxed around me.

>>13794
this might just be my personal experience and the people I talk to, but I'd guess about half of women, maybe more, don't use them? I really only know a couple of girls who do tbh.

>>13752
I epilate, and the girls I know who shave tend to do it every couple of days or so. To be honest though, I think we tend to notice hair and blemishes and stuff on ourselves more easily than we see them on other people. there's a real tendency I think to see our perceived "beauty flaws" as more visible and worse than other people's even when they look pretty normal.

>>13778
If she doesn't reply back, I think she's probably not interested. Sorry :c

To me a creep is people who are too forward asking questions that are waay to personal to ask someone they barely know, people who violate my privacy or try to touch me without consent, people who act possessive of me and try to boss me around, people who won't take no for an answer and keep pushing after I've tried to show I'm not interested.

>>13794
>How uncommon is it with ladies that don't use dating apps?
Watch vid related. TL;DW: women and men do not use dating apps in equal numbers. In fact, the userbases of major dating apps are overwhelmingly male. This implies that women, more so than men, choose to stay off dating apps.

>The way I hear them talk about men like items on a shop shelf comparing attributes in this detached analytical way always makes me feel kinda weird and uneasy.
Just to say that men do this too. I remember being in school and hearing two more popular guys discussing a particular girl and what sex positions she was willing to do. They shared disappointment that she wouldn't do anal, as if she was a cheaper model with fewer perks than other girls. So fucking creepy.

>But maybe it's something you have to just suck up and deal with if you don't want to be forever alone in this modern world.
Nah, fuck that, roll. Sure, being on a dating app might let you meet people more quickly. But if it compromises your self-esteem, is it worth it?

The real world still exists, chances do happen, serendipity still plays a role in our lives. I'm still figuring out how to live without social media, but my tentative advice is: just do things offline. Sit in a cafe at a regular time each week. Join a club. Go see a band live. Be friendly at work/school and figure out who shares your interests. Furthermore, try to notice what goes on around you: eavesdrop on other people's conversations, look at the cover of the book they're reading, notice what's on their T-shirt, how they styled their hair, piercings, jewellery, tattoos. If you're in enough places at enough times, there will come a time when you will catch someone's eye and be in a position to strike up a conversation. And who knows where that could lead?

>>13830
oops I meant to embed this

>>13794
I have never used a dating app but I'm so lonely that I might be distraught enough to try soon. I've always believed meeting people through a hobby is the best way, and my relationships were at least 1-2 years long. I want to get married though.

Are female neets a thing? Seems more of a men dominated environment.

>>13836
I'm a NEET but it wasn't intentional. I have a job I'd like to do when I'm better.

>>13837
I wonder if female neets are treated better than the male counterpart.
That being said, most NEETS tends to be a bit dickish to their parents.

>>13838
My mum has some kind of mental disorder and was always very abusive to me, but she also understands my life has been screwed by things out of my control so she does try these days to be more understanding. I don't know if you also mean by society, but generally people understand when I explain I'm on disability, not just some "lazy person" like most expect. I think most NEETs I've interacted with were a bit split. Those mostly people from a strong family culture their fathers would usually disapprove while their mothers didn't mind, and generally the NEETs loved their mothers very much. I haven't met many western country NEETs yet.

>>13836
Obligatory not a female, but yes. I've had/have? (its complicated) female NEET friends and my sister is somewhat of a NEET too. They're all happy enough and parents are supportive.

Male here.
So its my understanding where there are hairs, there are spots. Like i get tiny little white heads on my ball sack and there real satisfying to squeeze. Is this the same for women, do you get any spots in your lady areas? asking for a friends obviously.

>>13841
I think I know the spots you mean and it depends on skin type. I have little hair follicle bumps on my vulva sometimes, but that's gotten less after laser hair removal. tldr normal don't worry about it, unless they're full of pus or something in which case no not normal.

>>13836
Yeah, but they tend to congregate on different places online than male NEETs do.

>>13843
Speaking of this I'm curious what femrolls opinions are on those spaces because in my experience lurking them they're frightfully misandrist and kinda reinforced a lot of anxieties I already have about women

>>13844
I personally find nothing in common with those places or people which is why I go here, 4ch and some smaller boards which are more aligned with my personality.

>>13844
Not a fan tbh
like I'm sure some of the people on there are nice, but they mostly seem to be very miserable and pessimistic.

>>13844
I used to hang out on some of the popular ‘girl NEET’ sites and was around early enough for some of them to be founded. I never really identified super strongly with feminine stereotypes in the first place but appreciated some of those places at first as a space online to explore femininity on my own terms, and sushi rollymously. But inevitably yeah the misandrism, constant trolling and raiding, questionable politics, gatekeeping, etc takes over. I think the kinds of women that interact on imageboards are overwhelmingly from a few very specific niches and these communities are not really representative of womanhood in general.

It all got to be too much and I haven’t been on in several years now. But it was nice while it lasted.

>>13779
>>13795
Guy here.
These answer are kinda about going from "undesirable" to "undesirable and creepy". I'm betting the spirit of the question is more what makes someone undesirable in the first place.
I know for me I'm pretty protective of my time, so almost everyone is undesirable to me all the time. But depth of conversation or an interesting approach to life will gain my attention which may become friendship. But mostly I like to let friendships die down after a while to messaging once every few months.
I usually let other people pursue me rather than the other way round since other people have higher socialization need than me, but this means I'm choosing my relationships through filtering which is kinda a sucky feeling. Also it means almost all of my friends have been other guys, which I'd kinda like to change since I would like to date, but it's really difficult.

Question for girls:
Would you find it creepy if someone (you've introduced yourselves to eachother but never really spoken) sent you a letter asking you out, even if that's the only possible option of reaching you?

>>13794
Femsushi roll, I know plenty of woman who don't use apps, but it depends on the type of woman you hang with. In my experience introverted woman tend not to use apps compared to their extroverted counterparts.
>>13836
They exist, but like the other sushi roll said on other sites.
I feel it's less common though because of socialization. Like the other sushi roll said being a neet requires you be kind of a dick and woman simply can't get away with that were I live, this might not apply to you since I live in a more conservative area. No parent is going to fund their daughter beyond college years, so it's get a job or married.
Also female neets tend to get married off.
>>13844
Unpopular opinion, but I say they're misandrist the same way 4chans sexist and the same way, an odd example, the black panthers were violent. No one takes the misogyny on 4chan seriously half the time and if they do take it seriously you know their insane. Along with that their misogyny is from a place of genuine pain. If all you knew of men was 4chan, coomers, and the chronically online you'd hate men too. If you asked the average femcel why they said the stuff they said they'd give valid reasons. The same way if you asked a black panther why they did what they did they'd be justified.
Also I will say I never too what they said seriously because they were less deranged than the average 4chan misogynist. There have been multiple 4chan shooters, but not a single lolcow one.
I will say they do get joy from your anxieties and probably find it funny how you could survive 4chan not feeling offended, but a single female imageboard made you feel bad.
Also one last nuclear take sushigirl is more sexist than those femcel boards to me. This is because the average suhiposter is as deranged as the average 4chaner, but hides it under the veneer of wholesomeness.

Also I will not reply to any of your questions not because i can't find a good rebuttal, but this is the last thing I want to get off my chest before quitting imageboards forever.

>>14298
>quitting imageboards forever
Good luck and god speed sushi roll. I hope you never see this message and live happily in the fabled "irl".

>>13752
I actually like pubic and armpit hair. I prefer full bush on both. I wouldn't mind leg hair if it isn't too thick. But I'm a brain-fried hippie weirdo and definitely in the minority opinion.

Most men are brainwashed by porn into liking Brazilian which I think looks weird. Just as most women are brainwashed into preferring circumcised dicks. People are taught that their bodies are disgusting and need to be modified.

>>13752
I don't like armpit hair or anus hair for sure. I prefer a bald or groomed vagina without any hair on the parts I lick. I don't really mind leg and arm hair I guess, but it depends on how thick it is. I think with most girls it's thin enough that I wouldn't mind.

>>14298
It's a dick move to say "sushigirl is more sexist than those femcel boards to me. This is because the average suhiposter is as deranged as the average 4chaner, but hides it under the veneer of wholesomeness" and then never come back. Saying something rude without backup, you know it will annoy people, but you're going to deny them the chance to talk back. It's cowardly.

>>14301
you are ignorantly based

To girls
Do you value innocence? I value it a lot, but given that most people where I live have their first sexual experience at 14-15 of age, frankly I can't help but fall to despair.
Seems like something like that will be impossible to find, and that i should just accept whoever is out there
T. never had anything IRL

>>14311
i'm inexperienced so it does make me feel better when the guy i'm with is the same. also i think it's kinda cute

>>14312
Would you say there's an age limit to that kind of thing? I can understand with younger guys but I feel like as I get older being a virgin/obviously inexperienced is like a signal to stay away from me

>>14305
I don't think they said it to be deliberately rude or to annoy people. It was just something they wanted to get off their chest before they "left permanently".
I agree somewhat with this sentiment of theirs, so that's why I don't think it was deliberately crafted to be annoying.

>>14298
>If you asked the average femcel why they said the stuff they said they'd give valid reasons
>Along with that their misogyny is from a place of genuine pain.
Their reasons might be valid from their perspective but I don't think that means we need to run defense for what is pretty obviously an unhealthy worldview. Or be comparing them to the Black Panthers??? I think incel/femcel groups need help not encouragement/condemnation.
>>14318
>I agree somewhat with this sentiment of theirs, so that's why I don't think it was deliberately crafted to be annoying.
Then why post here? If you actually think the average person here is secretly "more sexist" than lolcow or 4chan you either have no experience with either site or you're operating on some truly tinfoil hat levels of paranoia.

>>14319
>Then why post here? If you actually think the average person here is secretly "more sexist" than lolcow or 4chan you either have no experience with either site or you're operating on some truly tinfoil hat levels of paranoia.
1)I haven't posted here in months and came by on a whim
2)I did not say anything about sexism. I was thinking about this statement of theirs:
>This is because the average suhiposter is as deranged as the average 4chaner, but hides it under the veneer of wholesomeness."
Which I agree with because the "niceness" here is quite forced and there is very little tolerance for certain outside topics and anything that has even the slightest potential to be "uncomfy".

Question for girls.
If you, hypothetically, rejected a guy but became friends with him, and then a year later during possibly the last time you two met he asked you out again, what would you think?

>>14317
good question, im 19 so i think its kinda fine for guys around my age to be inexperienced, im actually not sure about when youre older. personally just dont care but i know some people think its weird

>>14321
I feel like that's too specific of a question to really answer in the abstract, like it would depend on our history and my feelings. All I can say is if you think it might be different this time try again.
>>14320
>Which I agree with because the "niceness" here is quite forced and there is very little tolerance for certain outside topics and anything that has even the slightest potential to be "uncomfy".
Not every place is for everyone or everything. You wouldn't go to a trainfan forum and complain that the train discussion is forced because they shut down discussions of aeronautics, I hope you would on some level understand that the reason they shut it down was because it was off topic.
It's the same principle here.

>>14324
I'm fine with abstract answers, it probably won't affect my decision either way. I'm just trying to figure out what I should expect.

>>13749
I usually just read a nice comfy manga (usually romance cause I'm a sucker) and maybe watch some anime. Otherwise, I curl up under a big heavy blanket and chat with my gf in the wee hours of the night.

>>13752
I'll be honest I'm terrible at keeping up with shaving. All my girl friends have said they just shave daily or nair frequently. My partner is comfy with me not being shaven and I just do it for my own desire which probably helps.

>>13759
"A girl"? Do you mean a girl?

>>13778
Honestly a creep is just someone who won't stop doing something after you've made it obvious you don't want it (i.e. unable to respect boundaries). Gals tend to to have a lot of boundaries with guys and it's just finding them and avoiding them. That being said, it's clear the lady in your case doesn't really want to talk to you. Don't know why she gave you her number (maybe it's not her number) if that's the case but it is what it is. You won't get any fulfillment from continuing messaging her and if she's not gonna have the respect for you to talk to you then she's not worth talking to.

>>13794
It's always a little annoying to hear your own kind being objectified, but we all do it about the kind of people we are interested in. Can't tell you how many guys I've seen "she has to be under 5'6 and a beautiful aryan and…" And girls definitely do it too but guys tend to fixate on that shallowness more perceiving themselves as less fortunate than women on that front. I don't believe they are and that it's just a desire to have some kind of male solidarity among all the women's solidarity when it comes to sex and dating. That stuff is better suited in places where men are actually discriminated against in society such as mental health. This is all bordering on politics, though, so I'll stop.

>>13836
Currently NEET but really I'm taking care of a family member who is recovering from surgery which is a hell of a task itself. If it weren't for this, I'd have a job. Once this is over I'll have one again… hopefully.

>>13844
Only big one I've ever ventured on is crystal cafe and that place is a cesspool. There are some few phenomenally cool people who trudge through all the shit but otherwise it's just bitter incel stuff but female flavor. Those few are real cool peeps though and wouldn't trade them for anything. As for other stuff I've been in some small communities but unfortunately they were just niche in ways I wasn't into and honestly segregated society isn't my jam anyways.

>>13861
Desirability is 101% subjective. Female friends are just like any other friends, but girls do tend to be more picky of their time with other people and don't usually chase others around in my experience. You might have to be the one who initiates and honestly if you're looking for more than friends then your relationship is going to have to be 50/50 ok initiating and starting it out with you not putting in your part is a big red flag. Harkening back to my earlier reply, the easy road to creepy town is pushing boundaries.

>>14286
Yes. If you don't really know her it's not really a great idea to confess in my opinion but it's really bad to do it over a letter because that can easily be over the top and make people uncomfortable. If you feel like you have to confess, do it in person and keep it simple. Not "i love you baby darling you're the light of my life I can't live without you" type stuff just "hey, I like you, [insert date proposition or do you like me back]". Getting it out is the hardest part but it's better to just do it if it's burdening you.

>>14311
Not really. I mean I value my own, I've always wanted something special for that first time. But I don't care about people's "body count" or whatever. Also people probably aren't losing their virginity that young on average and those are just the ones who say they have lost it then are talking a lot about that stuff. Not saying they're lying necessarily either but just the whole "loud voices" phenomenon.

>>14317
No. Love is love.

>>14321
Assess the situation. Does she act like she likes you? If not, I'd avoid asking unless it's really killing you or something. That being said don't wait until the last minute that's putting too much pressure on everyone and makes it even easier to just say no since you won't get to spend time physically anymore. Keep it simple and easy if you do it.

i'm an 18 year old autistic guy, don't really think i have any questions for girls since i've spent my later teenhood having a lot of platonic relationships with them
ama

>>13752
>HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS SHAVED?
There's already plenty of good advice here, but we're not! Oftentimes it's just genetics when it comes to how visible the hair is and the fact that you're not as observant when it comes to others. Kind of like when you stress over your own pores and skin issues while not really noticing them on others.
Your friends probably have lighter hair that they shave every other day, since you can't really see short stubble unless you run your hand across the body part.
Also like the other sushis mentioned, epilators are nice if you can handle the initial pain of using it the first couple of times. Really saves you time and I get less ingrowns that way, since my skin is quite sensitive to shaving and waxing.
Also don't stress about it, the older you get the less others seem to care about body hair. If your future partner can't handle the fact that you're a mammal just like him is he really worth it? Once you fully grow everything out it will be much nicer and fluffier as opposed to putting up with the scratchy and sharp stubble.
Something that I do for my bikini zone is shave the labia majora and then epilate/trim around the bush, if you want to make it look 'tidier' without going ALL the way.

>>13794
Personally I believe in meeting people through common interests and activities, as online dating apps are designed to make people feel overwhelmed and like you said, view your potential partner in a detached and analytical way, which is awful. They're mostly used to find one-night stands, and I doubt anyone here would be interested in that kind of life.

>>13830
> as if she was a cheaper model with fewer perks than other girls. So fucking creepy.
Yeah, the way some men talk about their partners is downright scary. The things I've heard every type of man say when they believe they're among only other men is disheartening.

>>14298
I hope you're happy wherever you are (I also agree with your takes!).

>>14311
Yes, ideally I would like my partner to be a virgin, it'd be romantic to lose our virginities together. But when you say innocence I hope you mean actual innocence, not just the lack of opportunities and inexperience. Nothing worse than trying to get closer to someone and finding out they currently are or used to be addicted (I'd go as far as saying that just 'casual' use is worrisome) to pornography.
I am 100% serious when getting into relationships and want them to have a similar mindset. Otherwise what's the point. As for the age thing, there are a lot of older (30+) virgins. It just doesn't seem that way because no one is talking about it. As long as the other person is mentally mature and if you're normal about it (no resentment or overbearing clinginess) then there shouldn't be any issues.

>>13752
>HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS SHAVED?
I suspect that my girlfriend always shaves before she meets me since I've seen her unshaven when I was out and about without any plans.

>ive dated a guy that said he wanted me to constantly be shaved
This seems pretty lame, especially when you're traveling. But, yeah, shaved legs are really attractive, and I'm not to going tell anyone to stop shaving if it's already their modus operandi.

Also, I'm probably not the only one to have a zero tolerance for going down on girls with thick bushes. So, if you want head, you gotta shave.

i might just laser my legs and tummy, i got pretty good results from it when i did about 10 sessions before (different body part). but then i realize i'm old and sad and i just give up coz i'll never be young and beautiful anyway and it's too late for me.

maybe it's not too late for you though.

>>14418
> "A girl"? Do you mean a girl?
No.

>>14781
I'm 29 and still get laser when I need it. How old is too old, then?

>>14801
i'm 29 too…
it's just the way i feel personally i guess. :(

>>14806
I get approached by 18 year old boys because they think I'm their age. I bet you don't look as bad as you think.

As modern non-bigoted attack helicopter, "opposite gender" means only where the cannon targeting computer has placed the quest marker arrow on my HUD.

Also, if You show me yours, I'll show you mine.

I transitioned into a heal slut when I first played WOW.

Girls, have you ever NTR'd yourself out of someone you liked because you wanted to "do the right thing"?
I can't function after having doing something like that, the thought has been killing me all these days. It's even worse when I had basically nobody but these two people in my life for a while and I…
DAMMIT

>>14858
Yeah, I think I went through something similar recently, and it still fucking haunts me.
Could you please share your story?

>>14858
>>14891
I don't understand what you guys mean

>>14891
I would love to talk about it, but personally, I think I complained about it too much on imageboards and I'm scared of making my trace on the internet too obvious
If there is any way we could talk about it, I could share it with you. But personally I don't think I'll post about it here. Being vulnerable on imageboards is too much of a double-edged sword.
But if you so wish, we can talk about it somewhere else, check the e-mail field if that seems to interest you in one way or the other

>>14429
>>13779
>Things get creepy when someone is constantly contacting, demanding attention and flirting when im not reciprocating.
It's just annoying, but not that creepy.
>asking questions that are way to personal to ask someone they barely know, people who violate my privacy
That's more likely, but still it's just communication creeps.
I'd describe creepiness as obsession with another. When one constantly thinking about another, talk with this person in it's head, write bunches of mails, but doesn't send them etc.
Sometimes it sucks for subject of creeping a way more, than object. [s]At least it feels that way.[/s]
[s]I think someday this voice will take over my body and kill itself, lol.[/s]

>>13752
Yes. But there's a thing: I want to be all shaved too and can understand how difficult it may be, so I would not demand this.


Question for both genders: do you believe opposite sex somehow different from yours? Of course I'm not talking about biology and hormones.
Or another one: how often do you feel social pressure related to your gender?

Girls, do you listen to ASMR?
Some nights are a bit brutal, last night for example I resorted to ASMR.

It eventually helps me escape reality, cry a bit and then snooze afterwards

>>15065
Also, why is so much ASMR aimed towards girls abusive as hell? I thought people liked someone who is kind but I guess things don't work that way

>>15066
Does someone really love you if they can't get angry with you? The world is filled with "nice" people who will tell you what you want to hear, but if you ask any significant favor of them they disappear or are too busy or whatever. Noncommittal kindness can be suffocating in its own way.

>>15068
>Does someone really love you if they can't get angry with you? The world is filled with "nice" people who will tell you what you want to hear, but if you ask any significant favor of them they disappear or are too busy or whatever. Noncommittal kindness can be suffocating in its own way.

Are you fucking serious?

I can't fucking believe it, the main reason why I stopped talking to someone who I really really REALLY liked is because I didn't want to get angry at them, I am an absolutely brutal man when I get angry, so I stopped talking to her and… Fuck…
You gotta be fucking kidding me. This has to be an absolute fucking prank.

>>15069
sorry sushi…

I don't know what to say. People are ugly self-serving cowards. There's something to seeing someone at their worst to know if you can deal with them or not.

>>15070
It's fine, I should just follow the title of that track

>>15069
People are all different and cope with shit in different ways. I think the important thing in this situation is that you did what you felt like you needed to do to be a good person, and that’s what you did. Take it in stride. Life does go on.

>>15069
I am in the same boat as you, I am a nice guy but once I get pissed I switch to burn and destroy everyone and everything. So I don't want to be angry with people, because I know once I am I will be out for blood. The point of >>15068 does make sense though, you should confront your partner when they did something you didn't like. I prefer to talk about it as soon as possible though, exactly because I don't want to bottle up and blow up in their face once day. I think somebody should rather measure with the reliability of a person and not if they get angry at you. Being angry at somebody can show that they care about you, but they could also just be somebody aggressive. Therefore the mentioned significant favors are a better way to see if they mean well.

Girls, I assume it's easier for you to move on from someone, but nonetheless, how much time does it take for you to move on from someone
It's taking me a good amount of time, I know i gotta know more people, but when all else fails she always comes to my mind

>>15129
> I assume it's easier for you to move on from someone
I have seen plenty of girls get absolutely devastated from breakups. I think it's more likely that these kinds of perceptions stem from the fact that a lot of young men haven't had as many opportunities to improve their emotional intelligence, as there's a huge social pressure against men expressing their emotions frankly.

Anyway, I had pretty rotten luck… I dated a girl long-term that threatened to kill herself after we broke up. I went on one date with a guy friend I trusted and he ended up pressuring me into something I wasn't comfortable with (I couldn't escape) and thereafter ended up harassing me for months.
Sometimes, when I'm trying to fall asleep, the anxiety comes back and those thoughts fill up my brain. It's hard to describe how it feels, but it's awful. So although feelings of romance were quickly killed by feelings of fear, I can't "move on" from the terror easily. This kind of thing (2nd situation) is unfortunately not an uncommon experience for girls. So although it might seem like girls are quicker to move on from a romance, the risks for our livelihoods are also disproportionately large. (Not to say girls can't also be crazy. They really can be. But all of these social systems are connected and girls are at high risk in this sense.)

In any case, my current relationship is really good, and if it were to end, I'm sure it would take me a lot of effort to figure out how to break those mental cycles. I'd recommend trying to identify what your triggers are for those negative cycles of thought and address them. If your thoughts about the person aren't negative (i.e. you're not wistfully wishing to get back with them, romanticizing your time with them, beating yourself up, etc) but just passive, that's part of life and it's okay to passively remember things from time to time about someone that used to be in your life if you spent a lot of your life with someone. If it's frequent though, I'd still go back to that triggers thing and really try to get at the core of what's causing those thoughts.

>>15129
My last relationship was the shortest I'd ever had at 1.5 years but we lived together for the entire duration. I was abused for the last quarter, physically and mentally as we as cheated on. Its been almost a year and I s have nightmares but also miss the person. I've become much better but the damage is done. I wish I could forget their existence entirely, my mind as you say always has him come to mind.

Question for girls:
I feel like everyone has that one scenario they think about when they're laying down at night, whatever it may be. I'm talking about a romantic fantasy, either sexual or completely platonic. For me, it's cuddling or hugging someone, or having them dote on me, where I get the physical contact and intimacy that I crave.
If you also have some scenario you imagine when you're lonely, what's yours?

Don't you think it's putting XX chromosomes havers in a pedestal this thread?
Can't be just me

>>15349
Would it make you feel better if there were also an XY chromosomes havers thread? It ain't that deep

>>15351
nobody ever asks questions for men i think

>>15352
There's a hilariously active "Ask Men" subreddit, so the demand does exist out there.

>>15355
Meeeh, reddit sucks assssss

>>15355
Also, most of the posts in that subreddit revolves dating.
I don't give a damn hootie about dating.

>>15359
I guess I'm confused. What's your point? People generally obviously do ask questions targeted toward men's unique experiences, so what exactly are you getting at?

>>15360
That they should be asking about susus amongus

>>13752
as a guy, I find arm hair to be somewhat unattractive

I don't care about the rest

Girls, where did you find your love partners?
How much patience would you have for someone who still didn't let go of his previous partner?
You think never having had a relationship, much less sexual or physical intimacy is a red flag?
What advice can you give to someone who is avoidant and tends to leave people in moments these people scare him (not rejection but just the feel that i am wasting someone's time and that they don't have the patience for me)?

>>15506
> How much patience would you have for someone who still didn't let go of his previous partner?
If we’re dating and you’re still not “over” your ex, my opinion is that we shouldn’t be dating. A healthy relationship in my mind requires emotional equity in that way. I don’t think people should generally start new relationships if they haven’t learned from/recovered from/deconstructed their past relationships. Otherwise you may be asking for a repeat scenario.

> never having had a relationship, much less sexual or physical intimacy is a red flag?
In and of itself it’s not a red flag. Some people are going to want to date others with the same amount of experience in that area as them, and it’s important to respect that. But if you’re well socially adjusted and a good person, I think a lot of people are still going to give you the time of day. Relationship experience isn’t everything— there’s more that makes up a person. I’d just want them to be transparent about it and communicate their feelings/boundaries, same as every relationship.

> What advice can you give to someone who is avoidant and tends to leave people in moments these people scare him
Everyone has emotional pitfalls but it sounds like something you need to be able to grow the resolution to push through. Usually when people say this there’s an internal self-doubt or a complex that develops those negative habits. Listen to yourself and figure out why it is you are this way— if you’re thinking of starting a new relationship but also anticipate that you will bail due to internal factors, maybe put a pause on that.

Not so much a question, more of a vent… I just thought this is the thread most in line with my topic. If anyone can offer some perspective on this that's fine.
I've been married for a few years, not a long time, but I am genuinely happy in my life, we are creating a home and doing our best and we get along really well and all. Only there's no sex. I knew from a long time ago that there is virtually no sex in marriage. And actually my sex drive has taken a dive since I turned 30, so I don't even really care.
The problem is that something, call it instinct or whatever, causes me to look at young girls and get aroused, quite often. Again, for the most part I come back home and I promptly forget all about it, but for example, today I was watching girls dancing on tiktok and I got frustrated that I can only look at these videos and never again in my life have a girl like that (not that I ever did, to be honest). Furthermore, there is this ONE girl who works at a place nearby and whenever I go buy their stuff I see her and I get all kinds of thoughts and feeling about her. I know she wouldn't even consider me, not in a million years, but that doesn't change the fact and I start making scenarios in my head where I talk to her and… just that tbh lol. The thing is, I feel really attracted to this one girl and I can't help it, and it is both impossible and in a way I feel like I'm doing something bad, like I am cheating, even though I know it's nothing but instinct. And the worst part is that I have nobody to talk to about this, maybe that's the problem, that's why I come and say this because I can't keep it in anymore, call me a bad person, maybe I am. I wouldn't do anything to endanger my relationship but then this girl appears and my mind just becomes a mess of mixed feelings. The fact that there is no chance at all with her is both a blessing but also a source of much frustration.

>I know she wouldn't even consider me, not in a million years
pic

You're not a bad person because of "*bad thought*". You just feel that way and this's fine.
Though I'd dislike you for such taste(tiktok dance, generic "pretty" girl).

>>15531
you're not a bad person and I think what you're feeling is probably normal/natural. As long as you recognize that you don't actually want to act on those feelings irl and it's just your lizard brain talking. You should probably try talking to a therapist if you can find a good one, because sadly people (people in this thread, even) will moralfag at you about this kind of thing

>>15534
it's just perspective really (rant about men and lewdity in spoilers)
my libido is a bit ruined due to traumatic experiences. I never really had any romance thingy with anyone except some years ago with a person from the internet. I can only imagine doing the thingies men do when in a heat with her, but anytime I try it with something or someone else, I just drink alcohol instead. And go back to cranking it to this person instead, makes me feel a bit sad really
And it's not because "i can't get someone", shit i'm just in limbo of wanting to meet someone but being completely angry about men and people in general
it really fucking sickens me when men can't keep their brains in their head instead of below their gut and above their legs, so I guess men in general just make me sick
god i hate men
/rant

>>15531
See a therapist. If you care about your partner and keeping this relationship, and love her, wouldn't you want to find ways to deal with this? What you're describing would drive me insane and would make me feel absolutely awful. As it stands now you're not a bad person for having sexual thoughts towards other people, but how you deal with it will determine whether you're good or bad in most people's eyes.

Also, have you talked to your wife about the sex thing? I've heard "virtually no sex in marriage" is far from a universal truth and can be 'solved' (if it's a problem for you). If you communicate your lack of sexual fulfillment to your partner maybe you'll find some common ground?

The thing that bothers me about your post is the undercurrent of contradictory statements. You say you're satisfied with your relationship and your sex drive is low, yet you spend time watching TikToks of girls dancing and are fantasizing about a girl you know. You are clearly describing sexual impulses. The way you describe the girls on TikTok as a girl "like that" and then throw your wife under the bus honestly made me sad. It's not the vacant thoughts that make me doubt your intentions at all. It's the way you say your thoughts are nothing but instinct, that there's nothing cognizant about them, and yet your inability to get with the girl at the store is a "source of much frustration" and that girls on TikTok are a source of much jealousy. And that you don't find your wife physically comparable to them.

TALK TO YOUR WIFE. Don't tell her about these thoughts you've been having but TELL HER that you're satisfied in life and proud of what you're building together. Tell her you're unfulfilled and that you want to have sex!! Fix your shit.

>>15531
1. Enjoy making love to your now aging wife. That's a part of your marriage contract.
2. Don't actively lust over girls who are not your wife. That's a part of your marriage contract as well. If you take your time to enjoy the assets, then maybe the pain of fulfilling your liabilities will become less severe. Besides, if you 100% believe in the Bible, there is a this sin called adultery which pretty much describes your case.
3. Ever tried sharing your worries with your wife? How come you married a person whom you can't trust and who won't alleviate your suffering? Yes, a good wife may be very hard to find, but otherwise, why even marry when you're that old? Other than to have kids and to not die alone and forgotten.
4. Are your mother and father still alive? Do you have an uncle or maybe an auntie? Maybe you want to ask them what their experience was.

>>15531
Your feelings don't make you a bad person, but they can lead you to do bad things that you would otherwise never imagine yourself doing. Talking to a doctor can help. Human sexuality is weird and hard to figure out, so having a professional to guide you is a great option. Please don't cheat on your wife, especially not with a minor.