/lounge/ - sushi social

>>14317
good question, im 19 so i think its kinda fine for guys around my age to be inexperienced, im actually not sure about when youre older. personally just dont care but i know some people think its weird

>>14321
I feel like that's too specific of a question to really answer in the abstract, like it would depend on our history and my feelings. All I can say is if you think it might be different this time try again.
>>14320
>Which I agree with because the "niceness" here is quite forced and there is very little tolerance for certain outside topics and anything that has even the slightest potential to be "uncomfy".
Not every place is for everyone or everything. You wouldn't go to a trainfan forum and complain that the train discussion is forced because they shut down discussions of aeronautics, I hope you would on some level understand that the reason they shut it down was because it was off topic.
It's the same principle here.

>>14324
I'm fine with abstract answers, it probably won't affect my decision either way. I'm just trying to figure out what I should expect.

>>13749
I usually just read a nice comfy manga (usually romance cause I'm a sucker) and maybe watch some anime. Otherwise, I curl up under a big heavy blanket and chat with my gf in the wee hours of the night.

>>13752
I'll be honest I'm terrible at keeping up with shaving. All my girl friends have said they just shave daily or nair frequently. My partner is comfy with me not being shaven and I just do it for my own desire which probably helps.

>>13759
"A girl"? Do you mean a girl?

>>13778
Honestly a creep is just someone who won't stop doing something after you've made it obvious you don't want it (i.e. unable to respect boundaries). Gals tend to to have a lot of boundaries with guys and it's just finding them and avoiding them. That being said, it's clear the lady in your case doesn't really want to talk to you. Don't know why she gave you her number (maybe it's not her number) if that's the case but it is what it is. You won't get any fulfillment from continuing messaging her and if she's not gonna have the respect for you to talk to you then she's not worth talking to.

>>13794
It's always a little annoying to hear your own kind being objectified, but we all do it about the kind of people we are interested in. Can't tell you how many guys I've seen "she has to be under 5'6 and a beautiful aryan and…" And girls definitely do it too but guys tend to fixate on that shallowness more perceiving themselves as less fortunate than women on that front. I don't believe they are and that it's just a desire to have some kind of male solidarity among all the women's solidarity when it comes to sex and dating. That stuff is better suited in places where men are actually discriminated against in society such as mental health. This is all bordering on politics, though, so I'll stop.

>>13836
Currently NEET but really I'm taking care of a family member who is recovering from surgery which is a hell of a task itself. If it weren't for this, I'd have a job. Once this is over I'll have one again… hopefully.

>>13844
Only big one I've ever ventured on is crystal cafe and that place is a cesspool. There are some few phenomenally cool people who trudge through all the shit but otherwise it's just bitter incel stuff but female flavor. Those few are real cool peeps though and wouldn't trade them for anything. As for other stuff I've been in some small communities but unfortunately they were just niche in ways I wasn't into and honestly segregated society isn't my jam anyways.

>>13861
Desirability is 101% subjective. Female friends are just like any other friends, but girls do tend to be more picky of their time with other people and don't usually chase others around in my experience. You might have to be the one who initiates and honestly if you're looking for more than friends then your relationship is going to have to be 50/50 ok initiating and starting it out with you not putting in your part is a big red flag. Harkening back to my earlier reply, the easy road to creepy town is pushing boundaries.

>>14286
Yes. If you don't really know her it's not really a great idea to confess in my opinion but it's really bad to do it over a letter because that can easily be over the top and make people uncomfortable. If you feel like you have to confess, do it in person and keep it simple. Not "i love you baby darling you're the light of my life I can't live without you" type stuff just "hey, I like you, [insert date proposition or do you like me back]". Getting it out is the hardest part but it's better to just do it if it's burdening you.

>>14311
Not really. I mean I value my own, I've always wanted something special for that first time. But I don't care about people's "body count" or whatever. Also people probably aren't losing their virginity that young on average and those are just the ones who say they have lost it then are talking a lot about that stuff. Not saying they're lying necessarily either but just the whole "loud voices" phenomenon.

>>14317
No. Love is love.

>>14321
Assess the situation. Does she act like she likes you? If not, I'd avoid asking unless it's really killing you or something. That being said don't wait until the last minute that's putting too much pressure on everyone and makes it even easier to just say no since you won't get to spend time physically anymore. Keep it simple and easy if you do it.

i'm an 18 year old autistic guy, don't really think i have any questions for girls since i've spent my later teenhood having a lot of platonic relationships with them
ama

>>13752
>HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS SHAVED?
There's already plenty of good advice here, but we're not! Oftentimes it's just genetics when it comes to how visible the hair is and the fact that you're not as observant when it comes to others. Kind of like when you stress over your own pores and skin issues while not really noticing them on others.
Your friends probably have lighter hair that they shave every other day, since you can't really see short stubble unless you run your hand across the body part.
Also like the other sushis mentioned, epilators are nice if you can handle the initial pain of using it the first couple of times. Really saves you time and I get less ingrowns that way, since my skin is quite sensitive to shaving and waxing.
Also don't stress about it, the older you get the less others seem to care about body hair. If your future partner can't handle the fact that you're a mammal just like him is he really worth it? Once you fully grow everything out it will be much nicer and fluffier as opposed to putting up with the scratchy and sharp stubble.
Something that I do for my bikini zone is shave the labia majora and then epilate/trim around the bush, if you want to make it look 'tidier' without going ALL the way.

>>13794
Personally I believe in meeting people through common interests and activities, as online dating apps are designed to make people feel overwhelmed and like you said, view your potential partner in a detached and analytical way, which is awful. They're mostly used to find one-night stands, and I doubt anyone here would be interested in that kind of life.

>>13830
> as if she was a cheaper model with fewer perks than other girls. So fucking creepy.
Yeah, the way some men talk about their partners is downright scary. The things I've heard every type of man say when they believe they're among only other men is disheartening.

>>14298
I hope you're happy wherever you are (I also agree with your takes!).

>>14311
Yes, ideally I would like my partner to be a virgin, it'd be romantic to lose our virginities together. But when you say innocence I hope you mean actual innocence, not just the lack of opportunities and inexperience. Nothing worse than trying to get closer to someone and finding out they currently are or used to be addicted (I'd go as far as saying that just 'casual' use is worrisome) to pornography.
I am 100% serious when getting into relationships and want them to have a similar mindset. Otherwise what's the point. As for the age thing, there are a lot of older (30+) virgins. It just doesn't seem that way because no one is talking about it. As long as the other person is mentally mature and if you're normal about it (no resentment or overbearing clinginess) then there shouldn't be any issues.

>>13752
>HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS SHAVED?
I suspect that my girlfriend always shaves before she meets me since I've seen her unshaven when I was out and about without any plans.

>ive dated a guy that said he wanted me to constantly be shaved
This seems pretty lame, especially when you're traveling. But, yeah, shaved legs are really attractive, and I'm not to going tell anyone to stop shaving if it's already their modus operandi.

Also, I'm probably not the only one to have a zero tolerance for going down on girls with thick bushes. So, if you want head, you gotta shave.

i might just laser my legs and tummy, i got pretty good results from it when i did about 10 sessions before (different body part). but then i realize i'm old and sad and i just give up coz i'll never be young and beautiful anyway and it's too late for me.

maybe it's not too late for you though.

>>14418
> "A girl"? Do you mean a girl?
No.

>>14781
I'm 29 and still get laser when I need it. How old is too old, then?

>>14801
i'm 29 too…
it's just the way i feel personally i guess. :(

>>14806
I get approached by 18 year old boys because they think I'm their age. I bet you don't look as bad as you think.

As modern non-bigoted attack helicopter, "opposite gender" means only where the cannon targeting computer has placed the quest marker arrow on my HUD.

Also, if You show me yours, I'll show you mine.

I transitioned into a heal slut when I first played WOW.

Girls, have you ever NTR'd yourself out of someone you liked because you wanted to "do the right thing"?
I can't function after having doing something like that, the thought has been killing me all these days. It's even worse when I had basically nobody but these two people in my life for a while and I…
DAMMIT

>>14858
Yeah, I think I went through something similar recently, and it still fucking haunts me.
Could you please share your story?

>>14858
>>14891
I don't understand what you guys mean

>>14891
I would love to talk about it, but personally, I think I complained about it too much on imageboards and I'm scared of making my trace on the internet too obvious
If there is any way we could talk about it, I could share it with you. But personally I don't think I'll post about it here. Being vulnerable on imageboards is too much of a double-edged sword.
But if you so wish, we can talk about it somewhere else, check the e-mail field if that seems to interest you in one way or the other

>>14429
>>13779
>Things get creepy when someone is constantly contacting, demanding attention and flirting when im not reciprocating.
It's just annoying, but not that creepy.
>asking questions that are way to personal to ask someone they barely know, people who violate my privacy
That's more likely, but still it's just communication creeps.
I'd describe creepiness as obsession with another. When one constantly thinking about another, talk with this person in it's head, write bunches of mails, but doesn't send them etc.
Sometimes it sucks for subject of creeping a way more, than object. [s]At least it feels that way.[/s]
[s]I think someday this voice will take over my body and kill itself, lol.[/s]

>>13752
Yes. But there's a thing: I want to be all shaved too and can understand how difficult it may be, so I would not demand this.


Question for both genders: do you believe opposite sex somehow different from yours? Of course I'm not talking about biology and hormones.
Or another one: how often do you feel social pressure related to your gender?

Girls, do you listen to ASMR?
Some nights are a bit brutal, last night for example I resorted to ASMR.

It eventually helps me escape reality, cry a bit and then snooze afterwards

>>15065
Also, why is so much ASMR aimed towards girls abusive as hell? I thought people liked someone who is kind but I guess things don't work that way

>>15066
Does someone really love you if they can't get angry with you? The world is filled with "nice" people who will tell you what you want to hear, but if you ask any significant favor of them they disappear or are too busy or whatever. Noncommittal kindness can be suffocating in its own way.

>>15068
>Does someone really love you if they can't get angry with you? The world is filled with "nice" people who will tell you what you want to hear, but if you ask any significant favor of them they disappear or are too busy or whatever. Noncommittal kindness can be suffocating in its own way.

Are you fucking serious?

I can't fucking believe it, the main reason why I stopped talking to someone who I really really REALLY liked is because I didn't want to get angry at them, I am an absolutely brutal man when I get angry, so I stopped talking to her and… Fuck…
You gotta be fucking kidding me. This has to be an absolute fucking prank.

>>15069
sorry sushi…

I don't know what to say. People are ugly self-serving cowards. There's something to seeing someone at their worst to know if you can deal with them or not.

>>15070
It's fine, I should just follow the title of that track

>>15069
People are all different and cope with shit in different ways. I think the important thing in this situation is that you did what you felt like you needed to do to be a good person, and that’s what you did. Take it in stride. Life does go on.

>>15069
I am in the same boat as you, I am a nice guy but once I get pissed I switch to burn and destroy everyone and everything. So I don't want to be angry with people, because I know once I am I will be out for blood. The point of >>15068 does make sense though, you should confront your partner when they did something you didn't like. I prefer to talk about it as soon as possible though, exactly because I don't want to bottle up and blow up in their face once day. I think somebody should rather measure with the reliability of a person and not if they get angry at you. Being angry at somebody can show that they care about you, but they could also just be somebody aggressive. Therefore the mentioned significant favors are a better way to see if they mean well.

Girls, I assume it's easier for you to move on from someone, but nonetheless, how much time does it take for you to move on from someone
It's taking me a good amount of time, I know i gotta know more people, but when all else fails she always comes to my mind

>>15129
> I assume it's easier for you to move on from someone
I have seen plenty of girls get absolutely devastated from breakups. I think it's more likely that these kinds of perceptions stem from the fact that a lot of young men haven't had as many opportunities to improve their emotional intelligence, as there's a huge social pressure against men expressing their emotions frankly.

Anyway, I had pretty rotten luck… I dated a girl long-term that threatened to kill herself after we broke up. I went on one date with a guy friend I trusted and he ended up pressuring me into something I wasn't comfortable with (I couldn't escape) and thereafter ended up harassing me for months.
Sometimes, when I'm trying to fall asleep, the anxiety comes back and those thoughts fill up my brain. It's hard to describe how it feels, but it's awful. So although feelings of romance were quickly killed by feelings of fear, I can't "move on" from the terror easily. This kind of thing (2nd situation) is unfortunately not an uncommon experience for girls. So although it might seem like girls are quicker to move on from a romance, the risks for our livelihoods are also disproportionately large. (Not to say girls can't also be crazy. They really can be. But all of these social systems are connected and girls are at high risk in this sense.)

In any case, my current relationship is really good, and if it were to end, I'm sure it would take me a lot of effort to figure out how to break those mental cycles. I'd recommend trying to identify what your triggers are for those negative cycles of thought and address them. If your thoughts about the person aren't negative (i.e. you're not wistfully wishing to get back with them, romanticizing your time with them, beating yourself up, etc) but just passive, that's part of life and it's okay to passively remember things from time to time about someone that used to be in your life if you spent a lot of your life with someone. If it's frequent though, I'd still go back to that triggers thing and really try to get at the core of what's causing those thoughts.

>>15129
My last relationship was the shortest I'd ever had at 1.5 years but we lived together for the entire duration. I was abused for the last quarter, physically and mentally as we as cheated on. Its been almost a year and I s have nightmares but also miss the person. I've become much better but the damage is done. I wish I could forget their existence entirely, my mind as you say always has him come to mind.

Question for girls:
I feel like everyone has that one scenario they think about when they're laying down at night, whatever it may be. I'm talking about a romantic fantasy, either sexual or completely platonic. For me, it's cuddling or hugging someone, or having them dote on me, where I get the physical contact and intimacy that I crave.
If you also have some scenario you imagine when you're lonely, what's yours?

Don't you think it's putting XX chromosomes havers in a pedestal this thread?
Can't be just me

>>15349
Would it make you feel better if there were also an XY chromosomes havers thread? It ain't that deep

>>15351
nobody ever asks questions for men i think

>>15352
There's a hilariously active "Ask Men" subreddit, so the demand does exist out there.

>>15355
Meeeh, reddit sucks assssss

>>15355
Also, most of the posts in that subreddit revolves dating.
I don't give a damn hootie about dating.

>>15359
I guess I'm confused. What's your point? People generally obviously do ask questions targeted toward men's unique experiences, so what exactly are you getting at?

>>15360
That they should be asking about susus amongus

>>13752
as a guy, I find arm hair to be somewhat unattractive

I don't care about the rest

Girls, where did you find your love partners?
How much patience would you have for someone who still didn't let go of his previous partner?
You think never having had a relationship, much less sexual or physical intimacy is a red flag?
What advice can you give to someone who is avoidant and tends to leave people in moments these people scare him (not rejection but just the feel that i am wasting someone's time and that they don't have the patience for me)?

>>15506
> How much patience would you have for someone who still didn't let go of his previous partner?
If we’re dating and you’re still not “over” your ex, my opinion is that we shouldn’t be dating. A healthy relationship in my mind requires emotional equity in that way. I don’t think people should generally start new relationships if they haven’t learned from/recovered from/deconstructed their past relationships. Otherwise you may be asking for a repeat scenario.

> never having had a relationship, much less sexual or physical intimacy is a red flag?
In and of itself it’s not a red flag. Some people are going to want to date others with the same amount of experience in that area as them, and it’s important to respect that. But if you’re well socially adjusted and a good person, I think a lot of people are still going to give you the time of day. Relationship experience isn’t everything— there’s more that makes up a person. I’d just want them to be transparent about it and communicate their feelings/boundaries, same as every relationship.

> What advice can you give to someone who is avoidant and tends to leave people in moments these people scare him
Everyone has emotional pitfalls but it sounds like something you need to be able to grow the resolution to push through. Usually when people say this there’s an internal self-doubt or a complex that develops those negative habits. Listen to yourself and figure out why it is you are this way— if you’re thinking of starting a new relationship but also anticipate that you will bail due to internal factors, maybe put a pause on that.

Not so much a question, more of a vent… I just thought this is the thread most in line with my topic. If anyone can offer some perspective on this that's fine.
I've been married for a few years, not a long time, but I am genuinely happy in my life, we are creating a home and doing our best and we get along really well and all. Only there's no sex. I knew from a long time ago that there is virtually no sex in marriage. And actually my sex drive has taken a dive since I turned 30, so I don't even really care.
The problem is that something, call it instinct or whatever, causes me to look at young girls and get aroused, quite often. Again, for the most part I come back home and I promptly forget all about it, but for example, today I was watching girls dancing on tiktok and I got frustrated that I can only look at these videos and never again in my life have a girl like that (not that I ever did, to be honest). Furthermore, there is this ONE girl who works at a place nearby and whenever I go buy their stuff I see her and I get all kinds of thoughts and feeling about her. I know she wouldn't even consider me, not in a million years, but that doesn't change the fact and I start making scenarios in my head where I talk to her and… just that tbh lol. The thing is, I feel really attracted to this one girl and I can't help it, and it is both impossible and in a way I feel like I'm doing something bad, like I am cheating, even though I know it's nothing but instinct. And the worst part is that I have nobody to talk to about this, maybe that's the problem, that's why I come and say this because I can't keep it in anymore, call me a bad person, maybe I am. I wouldn't do anything to endanger my relationship but then this girl appears and my mind just becomes a mess of mixed feelings. The fact that there is no chance at all with her is both a blessing but also a source of much frustration.

>I know she wouldn't even consider me, not in a million years
pic

You're not a bad person because of "*bad thought*". You just feel that way and this's fine.
Though I'd dislike you for such taste(tiktok dance, generic "pretty" girl).

>>15531
you're not a bad person and I think what you're feeling is probably normal/natural. As long as you recognize that you don't actually want to act on those feelings irl and it's just your lizard brain talking. You should probably try talking to a therapist if you can find a good one, because sadly people (people in this thread, even) will moralfag at you about this kind of thing

>>15534
it's just perspective really (rant about men and lewdity in spoilers)
my libido is a bit ruined due to traumatic experiences. I never really had any romance thingy with anyone except some years ago with a person from the internet. I can only imagine doing the thingies men do when in a heat with her, but anytime I try it with something or someone else, I just drink alcohol instead. And go back to cranking it to this person instead, makes me feel a bit sad really
And it's not because "i can't get someone", shit i'm just in limbo of wanting to meet someone but being completely angry about men and people in general
it really fucking sickens me when men can't keep their brains in their head instead of below their gut and above their legs, so I guess men in general just make me sick
god i hate men
/rant

>>15531
See a therapist. If you care about your partner and keeping this relationship, and love her, wouldn't you want to find ways to deal with this? What you're describing would drive me insane and would make me feel absolutely awful. As it stands now you're not a bad person for having sexual thoughts towards other people, but how you deal with it will determine whether you're good or bad in most people's eyes.

Also, have you talked to your wife about the sex thing? I've heard "virtually no sex in marriage" is far from a universal truth and can be 'solved' (if it's a problem for you). If you communicate your lack of sexual fulfillment to your partner maybe you'll find some common ground?

The thing that bothers me about your post is the undercurrent of contradictory statements. You say you're satisfied with your relationship and your sex drive is low, yet you spend time watching TikToks of girls dancing and are fantasizing about a girl you know. You are clearly describing sexual impulses. The way you describe the girls on TikTok as a girl "like that" and then throw your wife under the bus honestly made me sad. It's not the vacant thoughts that make me doubt your intentions at all. It's the way you say your thoughts are nothing but instinct, that there's nothing cognizant about them, and yet your inability to get with the girl at the store is a "source of much frustration" and that girls on TikTok are a source of much jealousy. And that you don't find your wife physically comparable to them.

TALK TO YOUR WIFE. Don't tell her about these thoughts you've been having but TELL HER that you're satisfied in life and proud of what you're building together. Tell her you're unfulfilled and that you want to have sex!! Fix your shit.

>>15531
1. Enjoy making love to your now aging wife. That's a part of your marriage contract.
2. Don't actively lust over girls who are not your wife. That's a part of your marriage contract as well. If you take your time to enjoy the assets, then maybe the pain of fulfilling your liabilities will become less severe. Besides, if you 100% believe in the Bible, there is a this sin called adultery which pretty much describes your case.
3. Ever tried sharing your worries with your wife? How come you married a person whom you can't trust and who won't alleviate your suffering? Yes, a good wife may be very hard to find, but otherwise, why even marry when you're that old? Other than to have kids and to not die alone and forgotten.
4. Are your mother and father still alive? Do you have an uncle or maybe an auntie? Maybe you want to ask them what their experience was.

>>15531
Your feelings don't make you a bad person, but they can lead you to do bad things that you would otherwise never imagine yourself doing. Talking to a doctor can help. Human sexuality is weird and hard to figure out, so having a professional to guide you is a great option. Please don't cheat on your wife, especially not with a minor.