/lounge/ - sushi social

Almost no one lives up to their potential. That includes being friends. There's a lot riding on the person who will be the one to message first.

Socially not really, I have a regular friend and two other ones I generally meet together as a trio kind of deal to live it up a little maybe some times a year. I have people I know I probably could have more of an active thing with if I put in any effort.
I do really miss intimacy though, been years since my last relationship, and it becomes a battle of me not really caring to get to know anyone new or finding many people interesting against that I'm only comfortable with intimacy in a monogamous relationship with someone I know well.
As things look now I don't think I'll find somebody new.

I have friends and people I'm close to but I feel alone on the inside

yea
friends either left us behind or gave up on life. I think people are having a hard time making new connections to replace the old ones. At least I do.

I am lonely. Old friends are all quite far away; far away enough that seeing them involves planning in advance and buying train tickets, payments for which add up worryingly on my bank statement.

I moved to this semi-rural town after university and…I have no clue how to make friends here. How do I even get started when it feels like there is almost no one my age? I think that most people here have moved to raise a family, so my choice is between people approaching middle age and their young kids.

There is one glimmer of hope though. On my street, there's a parked car with a Burzum sticker on the rear windscreen. I made my mind up months ago to talk to the owner whenever I saw him. But I didn't see him. The car was either parked, motionless and sushi rollymous, or it was absent.

A week ago, on a shimmering, hot day, I caught sight of a young, shirtless man parking it up on the street and climbing out. I struck up a conversation and we chatted for a minute or two about Varg and black metal. He was bemused, but faintly impressed that I had heard of Burzum: "You're the first person who's recognised that sticker."

I felt it was too much in a first introduction to ask to be friends in any meaningful way, so we left it at that. But I've taken a chance - the desire for just one friend out here has pushed me to it - by leaving a note on his windscreen, asking if he wants to come over and watch Until The Light Takes Us with me. We'll see if he texts the number I left, or if my ink is washed away in the rain…

Yes and no. I haven’t had any friends in about 3 or 4 years. I recently got a job and have a couple people at work that I talk to, either about work, the company, or personal interests, side projects, weekend plans and things like that. It’s not much, and the main guys I talk to are like 30-40 years older than me, but having some kind of daily interaction beats being a NEET and sitting at home all day and spending all my time on the internet. So I guess I have one or two co-worker friends now.

I think I’ll try making some friends online sometime, but I usually make excuses, procrastinate and avoid messaging anyone that posts their discord online. I think part of the problem is that there are so many people out there that it’s hard to choose people to talk to, they can disappear at any time, and it feels like some random person might not value your time and “friendship” because they can just find someone else where meeting someone in person you’re limited to people in your area and ones that you happen to meet somehow like through a group or something.

My other issue that it’s been so long since I’ve had friends I’m kind of worried I won’t know what to do if I did have one (I know that probably sounds pretty dumb.) I guess like how often should you message people, and things like that. Idk, I guess you just have to find people and keep talking to them and see what happens.

>>11950
That sounds great. Now you might as well keep trying to talk to the guy, you probably won’t meet anyone else in your area that has similar interests and he’s in the same position.

Once you’re out of school and on your own it seems a lot harder to meet anyone. Outside of a couple places like bars, and hobby clubs it feels like outside of work people just sit in their house all day (and tbh that’s kind of what I do most of the time)

I have no irl friends and have very few people who are familiar with me online. I'm vexed, it isn't safe meeting people and making new connections if it will potentially be tainted by certain ""people"". Possibilities remain just that

>>11972
What do you mean by certain people sushi roll?

I have some irl friends, but I'm constantly beset by thoughts that they don't actually like me or want to hang around with me.
Sometimes they do things without me, mostly because I'm at home studying, and these feelings of insecurity ruin my whole day.

>>9064
I can no longer trust many people. I once told a friend I knew that I didn't trust the vax and he said I should have gotten it already. I explained the reasons, but he changed the subject to something jokelike and we just ignored it. But he's relatively accepting of different viewpoints. It just showed me how truly alone I am.

>>11988
that's not enough reason to be distrustful. you surely see the merit in preserving a friendship over squabbling about vaccines.

>>9064
i'm lucky in that i have several good friends and we regularly see each other/stay involved in each others lives. pandemic hasn't stopped us from spending time together offline. we all connect at a very deep level and share each others views. my best friend recently got married to his awesome wife and we really connect with her too so it's been a major boon on our social lives.

it helps to have the courage to reach out to people you know and to ask how they're going. just knowing that you care can be enough to make them want to see you again.

I guess I am. To be honest, I kind of deserve it, at least nowadays, because I'm a bit of a doomer asshole and I preemptively reject and judge every person I come across. I've never had any real friends, and I don't know why. There were some acquaintances, but I've never had anyone I could share secrets with, or spend time together. Maybe I have some undiagnosed autism or something similar. I'm afraid of rejection to the point where if I do speak, I speak very little and never take the initiative when it comes to relationships, platonic or otherwise. If I were to open up to someone, I would probably scare them off with an explosion of pent-up emotions. It's truly over.

>>9064
Lonelyness is my modus operandai. I really wish I wasn't alone so much but I guess it's only natural for my kind.

>>11998
Do you live behind a glass wall in a dream reality too? As bleak as life may feel giving up without trying is more pointless than trying and failing, at least if you try and give yourself room to fail you have the ability to grow and transform. Perhaps not into a human, but at least into something new. Just hope for a future and do the best you can to get better.

Hope is the only thing I have going for me right now but it gives me some comfort that perhaps someday I'll be human. The glass wall may still stand but I have the hope that bit by bit I'll get better and fully realize what I am. "Maybe so" is better than "surely not".

>>9064
one thing i've learned as i've grown older is that you can be surrounded by people all day, even talking to them, and still feel lonely as hell.

as an adult, i rarely have "alone" time, but the lonely feeling I had in my younger years never really went away.

>>9064
As someone who used to dial in all the time, you'll find there's no need for such heartache.
Now I don't talk to anyone outside of family.
Being around others makes me feel lonely and stressed.
Hell, the only thing left is to purge this restlessness at work where I visit sites I used to know, such as this place.

Most friends are a beautiful lie if you think about those relations long enough.
Either you share objectives or you are both wasting away in each other's arms as if there was some vector that isn't squishy and pliable, as you mutual assure the psychological dominance wrapped around you both.

Some friendships may have the objective of "enjoying each other's company" and that's perfectly okay. It's just not the case when it is instead participation in some addiction as "enjoying each other" - when you're formless instead, when you're disposable instead, when you contribute nothing actually, other than the fact that, yes, I am a warm body who will be in proximity as we both drool over the same things together, separately.
Sort of like imageboards. Videogames. TV Shows, etc.

So I ask, what exactly do you hope for?
Do you think there's some magical person out there that'll make you not feel so restless?
Sounds like an extension of the old age wish for a messiah, when that rests in you.
As the Messiah said, "The kingdom of God is within you"

>>12000
It's nice to think it's worth changing even if I'll never be human. I'm constantly feeling pulled both towards and away from it. Thank you for the sentiment.
Most of the time I just want to forget myself within code or math… sometimes I want to feel the warmth of community and companionship… but when I seem to be getting closer I feel colder and more alone.

>>11950
Wow, I've got something positive to post in this thread. Well, Burzum dude saw my note, texted me and we arranged to meet up at the pub down the road! We chatted for about an hour, mainly regarding music, vinyls, what we do for a living and so forth. He recommended the band Emperor to me; in return I told him to listen to 2814, since he said he wasn't wild about other vaporwave music he'd listened to.

Before this, I had basically given up on making friends around here. So I hope we can meet up again and become village tomodachi.

I honestly don't know.
I have a brother I get along with well but I rarely see him because he has a wife that eats up all of his time. He also has a child that he has to take care off, while his wife spends his money. I still live with my parents though and I am on good terms with my mother.
Still there are a lot of topics I can't talk about with both of them and this is where imageboards are entering the stage.
If I can keep my current job then I plan to move out, if this works then I am curious to see if I feel lonlier or not.
Generally I don't enjoy being around people, I am an introvert and need a lot of time for myself.
I don't have any friends either but I honestly dont miss having friends nor do I miss having a girlfriend. Strange thing is when I am unemployed then I acually start to miss friends and people in general, until I have to deal with them again.
Now and then I do miss friends/girlfriend though, usually when I see media with some beautiful friendships/relationships but luckly this triggers rarely.
Overall I am content but I don't know how it will be when I move out and a few times a year I somehow fall into a pit and end up feeling lonely.
I assume a huge part why I am not feeling lonely are imageboards, so thanks for being around, all of you.

I feel as if I've lost something precious, even though we've never met.
That's life.

I wish I had real people in my life so I could leave the internet. It's a problem that doesn't have a solution. I have to go outside to meet people, but I can't handle the loneliness and anxiety when I do.

>>12216
It might not have an instant ramen solution, but it does have solutions. You just gotta want to enough that you're actually prepared to work on yourself.
Take it in small steps, you wouldnt lift a barbell with all the weights loaded on overhead without any prior training. Find the smolest improvement over the current mode and do that a bunch of times, then when that feels easy repeat that process ad infinitum.
I don't know what your life looks like, but just as example, take a walk every n days, maybe try not to change your route if somebody comes walking the other way so you dont have to cross paths, have a try at breathing calmly intentionally when walking past.

>>12216
The people I have met and kept in my life we’re around when I was doing something permanent like a job, or living somewhere. None of them were people I just happened to meet while walking or whatever.
I can’t even imagine trying to get to know someone after simply meeting them happenstance, and trying to make that work- asking for their # on first meet. I have done it before, but it never works out. They have no incentive to see you again. There is nothing keeping them there with you. Such is life.

>>12223
I didn't imply that lmao, your post is so weird.