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File: 1576110177202.png (13.46 KB, 640x400, pixel art sunset.png)

 No.6524

Do any of you enjoy going out/socializing?

Life was pretty much just online friends (gaming) through high school, did a 180 and partied a bunch in college, had a group I hung around with…and now for years it's just been my girlfriend and I. Didn't keep in touch with college people, never pursued friendships outside of work. I still talk to and see a couple of friends from childhood every so often but that's it. I don't even know if I mind very much, but it's something I ponder sometimes.

 No.6526

I've got a few friends from high school and college that I still keep in touch with, but mostly it's my current grad school classmates right now. We all live in one building so they're unavoidable.

 No.6530

I like going to see films with my friends. We drink beer and discuss afterwards. In high school and college I used to hang out and play video games with my friends but that got kind of old, as did just sitting around and drinking. We kept doing it out of habit, but we had no energy to do the silly stuff that we did when we were younger (urban exploration and occasionally stupid petty vandalism). Also used to socialise over Skype or whatever playing multiplayer games, but same story–it got old but we kept doing it out of habit and I don't think anyone enjoyed it anymore by the time we stopped.

 No.6534

File: 1576192278466-0.jpg (51.53 KB, 604x453, 1539724924101.jpg)

No I don't.
I've lost contact with all classmates and people from university years ago. I'm a domestic human bean. Work-home-work-cafe on a day off, sitting in a corner and reading a book.
My last relationship failed 5 years ago.
My phonebook is made of my coworkers and my mother.
I don't want my life to change.

 No.6535

>>6524
I'm in pretty much the same situation as you OP, I've met a LOT of new people though. My problem is that no one I meet is very interesting and interacting with them drains me of all my energy. Also it's just too comfy to cuddle with my girlfriend so I don't even try to look to other things to do.

 No.6539

I don't like socializing.

I *can* do it if I need to, like for work. But that's just putting on a mask for others' sake than my own.
Especially if I'm in a group I find I'm the odd one out, and I can only hold out so long with small talk.

Even online friends are hard to keep up with and I feel like I can't stay likeable enough to hold a deep conversation with. I don't feel as comfortable with social media anymore either.

The only people I regularly talk to are my parents.

 No.6553

I do enjoy having some company but I'm not that great at socializing honestly. I have a couple of friends I occasionally exchange some messages with, and sometimes we meet up, but usually they are so distant to me I consider them as "part-time friends".

My last relationship ended roughly 2 years ago. Nowadays there is another candidate, but I'm not sure if I can pull this one off. I need to shake off my insecurities first though. Time will tell.

 No.6554

No, not really. I'm not a big fan of "nightlife". Don't drink, don't smoke, don't like football so that's also out of the question. Conflict makes me anxious, hate politics, conservative when it comes to relationships and "sexual liberties". The only outdoor activities I do are just cycling, going for evening walks or late night driving. The rest are indoors and mostly online.
As for actual interactions, both online and irl they are usually pretty shallow. Work, current state of affairs or situational comedy. On holidays, often days go by without directly engaging with someone.
I can't really connect with people emotionally and form meaningful relationships. I've been with my waifu since I graduated from high school, so 7 years ago. Right now, it is unfathomable for me to live life any other way. It just means that I have all the time for myself and to explore the world.

 No.6559

>>6524
I am not very similar to the people that I often meet, and I find it difficult to connect with them.

However, from my experience, making a good friend requires that you spend a lot of time together, and even those good friends end up being simultaneously close yet distant. How can you be close and distant? When you see them, you feel very close, as if, despite any circumstances, they've got your back. Still, they can't be part of your daily life because your lives are simply very different.

It's unfortunate, but the only real way to make close friends is to find something that you do habitually with those people. Then, after a bit of time, you start doing other things together, making the connection stronger. Eventually, you're inviting them over for Christmas dinner or something like that.

The worst thing about adult life is that most people understand this. They start treating friendships as alliances and habitually filter their output to match their plans for making friends. The connections become superficial and you start doubting who your real friends are.

Eventually, you have to start taking inventories of friends' actions, and you become the thing that you hate, a cold, calculating son of a friendly lady.

 No.6568

File: 1576434692960.jpg (125.34 KB, 2048x1535, urajirogashi EL0_5EEUwAAmE….jpg)

I don't often take the initiative, but it's something I enjoy doing a lot.
I have one friend group I tend to party with and stuff, while the other is more casual friends I play pool and eat out with.

Still, I'm more of an introvert, as I absolutely cannot socialize regularly in a short period of time: it's something I find really fun, but it drains my batteries like nothing else. Conversely, I'm fine with staying alone at home for a week at a time, but if there's the opportunity to do exciting stuff, I'm not gonna refuse.

My life during middle/high school was spent online when I was at home. I had plenty of friends in class back then, but would never meet up or really do anything together once the final bell rang.
Meeting up with those old friends once a year and spending a day together put me in a really good mood every time. It feels like I'm redeeming myself for not doing so back then.

 No.6578

I tend to only 'go out' with friends that I have known and trusted for a long time (luckily me and my core group of HS friends all get together fairly consistently despite having graduated three years ago). I tend to be a lot more introverted and shy when it comes to interacting with strangers in a setting outside of university or work. That isn't to say that I don't make friends, but I tend to just be more comfortable around those that I have had long term connections with.

 No.6636

No.
Fortunately I'm at a point where I don't really need to atm. But the nature of society requires one to do so in order to make a living, so I'll have to. I intend to read some books on the matter and see if I can learn to at least put up a decent performance. I did realize at some point that one just needs to pit on an act, that is to say: don't be yourself. Just act like you like it.
One thing I can't stand is that people are always expecting you to do some converstation, but I have not much in common with most people, so I hardly know what to say and it seldom goes beyond some trivial exchange avout the weather or something menial.
Even with many of my old "friends" I cannot really keep much of a conversation, we're just too different.

 No.6637

Think I do, there's just nobody to socialize with

But at my last work I did a few times and it was nice. When I tried with coworkers in the current one things got very boring very fast

 No.6644

File: 1577006260544.jpg (244.16 KB, 848x1199, 1553548524932.jpg)

I dunno, kind of?
I mean I like people, but I'm also have a bit of a distant and alien attitude so me connecting with anybody is really uncommon, especially since I can't into smalltalk if it's not somebody I know well.
Have a few old friends but sometimes feel totally grey and obliterated afterwards on the trip home even though I had a good time. Was a good while since I got to know anybody new, kinda actually have one or two bread crumb trails for some might-be friendlies, but most of the time I end up feeling indifferent towards the concept again and think the effort/risk isn't worth it. It's a big burden to become part of somebodys world.

 No.6669

File: 1577429458823.jpg (133.89 KB, 800x1131, hiya.jpg)

Yes and no.
I've had a lot of trouble getting along with IRLs recently so most of my friendships take place online. I still find myself doing the occasional social type thing. Mostly college friends but the occasional person from high school.
I've worked multiple jobs, but never really hit it off with any of my coworkers. Not on bad terms, just never met anyone who became anything other than my coworker.
My biggest thing is that sometimes I just lack the interest or energy to be outgoing or feel like I would rather be doing something by myself. I don't do very well in large group scenarios and often find myself preferring to go out with just 1-2 people at a time.

 No.6675

Yes. I'll usually default to extracting my entertainment out of the internet, but I'll gladly head out with the lads to catch a live concert and have more than a few beers.

 No.6678

File: 1577605241931.jpg (946.41 KB, 1920x1200, 1432703247142.jpg)

>>6524
Holy crap, are you me? I did the exact same phase change from high school to college, and then I married my girlfriend while I was at it. I'm with you, OP. Sometimes I wonder if I should care more about socializing, but in the end I have other things to think about and do. I'm content without needing to go out. Those days are behind me (though they were good days).

 No.6934

File: 1581541921415.jpg (30.12 KB, 400x400, qnrebaly_400x400.jpg)

>>6524
Almost never now. I have 2 or 3 people on discord and a penpal I've had for a year. I don't bother with people anymore, and being a solitary hikki/neet is preferable to dealing with people's bullshit. Not like most people interest me anyway. I might find someone for entertainment but other than that they're nothing more to me. And I know they feel the same way.

 No.6948

I dislike socializing both irl and online. There's only one person I can tolerate near me and we don't talk much either. We just do our own thing in the same living space for most of the time. It's the most desirable setting.

 No.6961

Sure, I like socializing. Most people I see these days I know from the internet though and most socializing I do is just sitting around and drinking beer. I didn't have many friends growing up and most of them became junkies or neets who I'm not that much in contact with anymore. Sometimes I wish I had some normal offline friends but I guess I'm pretty happy with my situation.

 No.7359

No. I prefer staying inside, watch anime or play videogames, than socializing

 No.7362

File: 1589678129240.jpg (5.17 MB, 2928x4074, 74256159_p0.jpg)

I like socializing on rare occasions but my "social battery" runs out pretty quickly, and I end up having a hard time making long term friends because of it.

 No.7407

I remember the first couple years of hikkidom I had this idea that I was above the need for friendship, validation, love, support, but after a decade I realise completely delusional that was.

 No.7669

>>7362
I generally dislike it, though sometimes I want to hang around with others. But of course, my usual withdrawal leaves me with few contacts outside my family and I feel that they'd be bothered if I suddenly contacted them (probably since I'd feel that way if the roles were reversed). I'm pretty boring to be around anyway, since I often prefer just being in the company of others but not an active participant in conversation or activity.

 No.7687

when I was in my earlier 20s and single, I often felt lonely and eager to be around other people. now at 31 with a family and a career, I treasure every moment of solitude i can get.

 No.7798

I'm going to try to socialise when I start uni in July. Being close to a decade older than most of my classmates is going to be weird though, especially if they decide to ask me what I've done between high school and starting uni. the answer is nothing

 No.7801

File: 1591766517099.jpg (910.82 KB, 2480x1748, 65131439_p0.jpg)

>>7798
I've been in there. It'll be less weird than you expect and there should be plenty of older people around. Unless you're balding or have deep wrinkles or something a lot of the younger kids will assume you're around their age or a bit older anyways.

>>7362
I'm a big fan of this artist.

 No.7802

File: 1591767100821.jpg (947.78 KB, 2354x3220, 68775047_p0.jpg)

>>7801
Me too, their art is extremely comfy and cute!

 No.7803

I like socializing in theory, A small group of friendly people i never met before and will likely never see again is the optimal setting for me to enjoy talking to people. Once it gets past that and into the area of actual relation i feel like my freedom is being infringed upon, I have to fight off the constant urge to drop everything and run, Something i've done multiple times now.
So yeah, I like talking to others but it's too stressful. Like it or not, I do have the need for communication though.

 No.7807

File: 1591849579036.png (1.25 MB, 900x1288, 1578425716502.png)

>>6524
i've gotten pretty good at topical conversation. I really want deep personal friends though and i don't know how to do that and it's destroying me

i fear i will never figure it out

interesting, the variety of problems and peoples' perspectives on the subject

 No.7808

File: 1591867838132.jpg (16.24 KB, 252x283, 12208338_442067236000842_3….jpg)

I tend to get depressed and start overthinking when I spend too much time by myself. Spending time with my friends always helps me to put things in perspective somehow. Makes things feel worth doing again, somehow. I'm not sure why this happens, maybe I'm just predisposed to negativity.

 No.7810

>>7808
>I tend to get depressed and start overthinking when I spend too much time by myself.
Same, the feels go away when I start doing something pro-active, like learning how to draw for example, but I always think I'm guilty of something if I spend a lot of time alone, even if I didn't do anything

 No.7816

Not really, mostly due to the fact that I'm not as social as I was in high school. I used to enjoy recreational drugs with friends back then. I could've kept in touch with those people I hung out with but no one bothered to stay, and I even walked past my closest old friends the summer that they graduated. They didn't say anything or even gave eye contact while walking past. Basically all I really cared about that summer was the comfortable condominium that was home. Nowadays I just try to excel in my niche hobbies simply to make new friends- but recently it's not all that great and I don't receive any messages at all.

 No.7817

>>7816
What are your niche hobbies?

 No.7821

>>7817
Pen spinning, I try to practice more because it's a solo grind hobby and now I'm starting to do fps game aim exercises. I couldn't do college

 No.7822

>>7808
i think it is just our brains getting in a rut. when we are alone, we have thoughts and feelings that just keep looping without any outside feedback to disrupt their cycle. it's not so much about positivity or negativity. if you must be alone for too long, at least try stimulating yourself with genuine novelty - investigate a new subject or try to solve a difficult problem.
i think in the end, though, socialization is necessary. i think it's the only way we can feel like our lives are actually meaningful.

 No.7837

>>7821
That's pretty cool sushi roll. Are you making much progress?

 No.7864

>>6539
I'm with you 100%
Though I really miss friendships. It sure is a lot of work building that level of trust with someone and dealing with some of the more irrational quirks of human behavior.
Currently I don't have any great friendships but I do have my health, and my skateboard.

 No.8091

File: 1594439702341.jpg (21.97 KB, 220x220, 1593530807754.jpg)

>>6568
Me exactly! I like being by myself and I don't make alot of plans with my friends, but I can't bring myself to refuse someone inviting me to something. (Unless ofc I have a very busy schedule.) I'll drop whatever I am currently doing and enjoy myself while I can.

 No.8162

I'd like to go out socialising, except I have nowhere to go, no car, public transport is virtually non existent in my town and it scares me.

 No.8180

File: 1594949661640.jpg (6.57 MB, 4500x2500, c078fcf01b31d5244cd6a3d9b5….jpg)

I don't. The odds of finding people who share my interests or care about the same things I do irl are slim.
And I'm bad at socializing over the internet, so I have no friends

 No.8275

>>8180
I feel you on the IRL front. But while it can still be daunting online you shouldn't just give up on it. I've met some good people online, and even met some of them IRL. Some bad experiences happened too of course, but it's all par for the course. Of course this is partly hypocritical of me as I'm still deathly scared to speak up or make myself known online in any sort of community where I can be identified.

 No.8301

File: 1595875000456.jpg (74.69 KB, 728x546, aid478637-v4-728px-Avoid-B….jpg)

>>7803
Hahaha, this is the most autistic thing I've read in a while, but I feel the same way:
>Once it gets past that and into the area of actual relation i feel like my freedom is being infringed upon
I know that feeling exactly. I'm happy to socialize with people I've never met before. I occasionally comment on what someone's purchasing while we stand in line at the market; sometimes they don't want to talk, but more often they do and I've had some pretty funny interactions. That's like my ideal level of socialization.

Beyond that, I think when you start getting more involved with someone it's like you're "settling" for them as a friend. You have to wonder if this is the "best" person you could have picked, maybe they're not the perfect image of a friend you had in mind. You get to be afraid of investing time in the relationship, and moreover you're afraid not of rejection, but of rejecting if it doesn't work for you after you've led your new friend on.

I think that might be what's going on with me, not really sure though.

 No.8303

No. I do think it's important to some extent though. And I often feel the drive to do so, but most often than not there is just no common ground and every attempt I make at smalltalk just falls flat or ends up in awkward silence. It's like people naturally don't like me.
It's a bit of a problem because that means I cannot get past the stranger threshold with people and thus won't be able to try and make a deal with them. I just don't know how to handle people.



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