>>21217What the heck did you just say about me, you little soda? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the FDA, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on The Coca-Cola Company, and I have over 300 confirmed sips. I am trained in chugging and I'm the top burper in the entire US Department of Health and Human Services. You are nothing to me but just another soda. I will drink you up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, carbonated beverage. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the slurp. The slurp that sucks up the cute little thing you call your servings per container. You're totally consumed, soda. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can drink you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed chugging, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Food and Drug Administration and I will use it to its full extent to drink your bubbly innards off the face of the continent, you little soda. If only you could have known what diabetic retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you effervescent beverage. I will drink you so fast I nearly drown in it. You're guzzled, soda.
