It takes a lot of time, but you can get there.
I acquired my basic social skills through my first job. Having no marketable skills, being so insecure of my self, I only managed to find a factory job working night shifts. It ruined my sleep schedule and I still suffer from insomnia years later, but it made me feel integrated into society. In addition, I felt some job stability as it was hard to get fired from a crap job like that. Eventually I wasted that hard earned money of figya and crypto, but I think I learned my lesson.
I then quit that job and decided I wanted to go to college. I've always liked studying even though I just skimmed through high school not caring about grades. The most realistic option for me was a BA in marketing (even though I really wanted something "tech") at a nearby college since I had to work and study at the same time to pay for the tuition (that is possible where I live). Over the course of the following 3 years I worked for half a year through a 6 month contract and stayed at home during the other half.
That was actually quite a cosy and peaceful time since I could relax knowing I had the necessary funds get through college. I learned to do laundry, cleaning, studied foreign languages and researched topics that interested me such as economics. I would go for a jogging or perhaps take a stroll around the neighborhood in the early morning, then make my self a cup of tea and study for the rest of day. I really developed a sense of who I was and what I wanted during that time. Anime and my wapanese tendencies also helped me get through it. Take this video for example
https://youtu.be/uZGYB5U8SOc "I want to dress nicely like them and work in a highly developed city such as Tokyo" - I thought. That sort of escapism gave me a vision of a world where I could thrive, offering me inspiration and structure.
Mind you, I would drive to college, attend classes for the express purpose of achieving good grades, and go back home. I did not socialise, even though many opportunities presented themselves throughout.
Finally, I graduated and have been working at the same place ever since. I know many people in my class that have not yet found a job, or found something else unrelated to the field. At my current job I went on my first ever lunch and dinner with work colleagues, did team building exercises, had to lead meetings with clients (which still give me impostor syndrome), went on a short business trip to attend and represent at an event, stayed for the first time at an hotel. I also made my first friend in many years, and by inviting that person (her) to a coffee shop after work. It was the first time ever I invited someone else for socializing. Let's see if I can keep the friendship going since she quit our company, but it is nonetheless a milestone worthy of being celebrated.
Something else I did for the first time was creating an Instagram profile when everyone else has had one since high school. I'm trying to chat with a couple old friends from high school and one acquaintance from college. I'm not expecting much. It feels like most people have a set social circle and are not very keen on letting others in or wanting to rely on new people. I still spend my weekends at home or with family. I do not have a "friend" who I go out with often. However, I am infinitely more socially active that ever before, and I know it's possible to make friendships as an adult, so I assume it's a matter of keep trying and keep acquiring experience for when the right time comes. I feel it's going to take many months or even years, the same way it did with my academic and professional goals, but it no longer feels unattainable.
I'm planning on going back to college for a postgrad in data analysis. This time, I want to make the most of it not just academically but socially as well.
By the end of this story, you have read through 7 years of my life.
