/lounge/ - sushi social

I have big goals too! But I really struggle with them, and I think everything I've done in moving towards those goals has been a failure and it really discourages me.

>"Those who found something to pour their soul into, how did you manage to focus on that above all else?"

I haven't figured this out in almost 30 years. I'm thinking maybe these things simply weren't things that i could pour my soul into. Maybe I have misplaced goals, and this is why I'm stagnant. Maybe these things just weren't for me, otherwise surely I would've found the motivation to do it by now, right?

Today I was thinking wether an attempt to excel (to pick a somewhat random word) is futile.
We are fed the idea of a hard-working visionare or, tuned however you might want it, someone who is ultimately passionate for something and works hard and creates so ething of value, something that is also unique. I have been cursed with a lack of creativity. And even though hardly any topic can come to my attention that I don't feel it's so interesting as to invite full immersion and sustained attention, I don't really stick to anything. Yes, I have narrowed down the topics I learn, but even when I have a few threads of study in my daily life, I hardly seem to make any progress. What's worse, even though these are topics which I feel most worthy of study, I can't seem to break beyond a very basic level of competence or understanding, despite having all the resources available which I would in principle need to get to at least a level of casual understanding.
I do not spend my time on fruitless endeavours, that's what I am always telling myself (no offense to someone who does), I don't watch tv (only at the dinner table) and I don't play videogames. I do admit to an addiction to imageboards which can be about as harmful as an addiction to facebook, whatever your might object. But even then I do try to spend my time reading books on the topics I want to know, and after years of this I still remain with an average understanding of all these topics (average with the whole of the population, not average with undergraduate students or some other such selective corpus.)
I think those who manage to get something done, whatever, have some sort of inherent interest towards the thing, something that keeps them on tradk and going forward, where I can't make ny progress.
blah blah. Tl;dr same here OP

The vessel into which my soul is pouring at the moment is music. I, too, have a 9-5 job which is comfortable and saves me from facing money troubles, but sucks out the freshest hours of my day 5 days a week. So I can sympathise with OP.

Perhaps, OP, you are having trouble starting and committing to a journey of creativity (or learning or whatever) - not staying motivated. I say this because, once you have got into the rhythm of spending time on your hobby, it becomes easier, even routine, to work towards it. Actually, this is my experience: the most motivation is needed at the start and end of a big project, because you are afraid of stepping into the unknown, on the one hand, and of releasing yourself from your project forever, on the other. In the middle is the fun bit.

>How do you stay motivated?
So the answer to this is that I continue to work on music because I usually have nothing better to do, I enjoy it, and because it now feels natural and not a burden to do it. A year ago, it was different and I had to do lots of frustrating things like learn how to use various music-making programs. It took a while but, after applying the Shia LaBoeuf mantra, I got those things out of the way.

>I have the funds to do anything I want and I end up doing the same thing over and over to ease my anxiety.
What is the thing that you do over and over again, out of interest?

>>11757
I've found getting up early, dispite feeling very unnatural for me is pretty good. It's much nicer having two hours before work for a hobby than two hours after work. After work I just want to eat, listen to music and do something mindless.
I've found I've stuck to things pretty well, and gotten good at some of them, but I'm individualistic, so the projects I work on can't be as large as collaborations.

>>11725
might be ADHD/ADD or some shit, but when I'm unfocused, I tend to waste time doing nothing or close to nothing. technically while I haven't solved the core issue, I manage to cope by procrastinating from thing I want to do, with another thing I want to do that is a different subject/interest but still productive. this way im replacing one good thing with a different good thing, rather than wasting time, but it still lets me have the sense of escape from the initial thing im avoiding for whatever reason. then ill get bored and go back to it at a reasonable time when my mind is fresher

You first have to know what you want to do and why you want to do it. If you want to learn a new language you need to come up with solid reasons for learning a new language. Then while you're learning the language continue to remind yourself the benefits and purpose behind it. If you try to do things on a whim without knowing truly why you want to do them you will quickly lose motivation.

Another thing is that sticking to a schedule and making your efforts a habit greatly reduces the difficulty. By conditioning yourself to make an effort consistently the effort becomes automatic and eventually you don't even need any rational motivation to make the effort. Remember to start out small too, if you try to make a whole bunch of difficult habits at the start you will most likely give up sooner.

I personally use this website (https://habitica.com) as a tool to condition habits. Essentially it rewards you with currency/exp when you complete an activity. The currency can be used on either in-game rpg items to strengthen your character or you can set up a system to exchange it for real-life rewards (like chocolate/candy/whatever you consider to rewarding).

It may be a chicken and egg situation, but browsing imageboards (or rebbit or sozial media) is bad for you. It is addictive behaviour which leads to not being able to do meaningful stuff because you either don't see the point or simply keep coming back for the dopamine. Not seeing the point, bt , is because the dopamine reward is higher here, eclipsing the benefits for which you need to keep a sustained effort, truly eaningful activities have delayed gratification, while addictive behaviour often relies on immediate gratifocation.
It is chicken-and-egg because you might know this already and you probably get bored browsing the internet, but your dopa ine receptors are conditioned to come back, making you feel bad because you just spent your time boring yourself.

Hey roll, any effort you put towards your goals is cumulative. You don’t have to be completely devoted to a hobby or skill to make progress in it.

I keep track of how long I write. My log was very helpful in the beginning to reinforce my habits. Previous attempts at writing failed because every time I came back after a break, I was demotivated by the feeling of constantly starting from square one. Once I started recording my hours, even if I broke the habit for a few days, the log reassured me that I was not only capable of progress, but I had grown a lot since I started. The most important thing is to make your interest something that you come back to. Maintaining records encourages this kind of long term awareness.

Just do it - Nike, goddess of victory

>>11982
Do it now!

>>11791
I've been studying Chinese every morning for years now. I'm somewhere between hsk 3 and 4 I think, but I dont really have any interest ig going to China, talking to Chinese, or really any concrete plans to make use of the language at all. I guess maybe I just enjoy the learning. So maybe it's not true that you will lose motivation, but you might wast a lot of time on a skill you don't actually care that much about.

>>12959
你为什么对中文有兴趣？有没有什么书你想读？

>>11725
The only motivation is desire.
When people are operating on a lack of energy (mental, physical, spiritual),
their desires are far more short term.
Somewhere they realize they just don't have the energy to pursue
larger more complex tasks, and end up flowing down the path of least resistance.
When people have more energy they don't feel sick, tired, get headaches or have brain fog.

Here were causes for my lack of energy.
1. ejaculation
2. no exercise on a regular basis
3. bad sleep schedule
4. difficult environment (messy, not oriented towards what I want to accomplish, distractions)

ejaculation was the biggest piece of the puzzle for me.
When I tried no fap, I certainly had a much higher level of energy,
however I was spending all my energy resisting sexual urges.
Then I looked into non ejaculatory orgasm, however everything I read online
was a mechanical stopping of the semen through muscular tension.
This didn't work very well at all for me, it was super hit and miss,
and the arousal got so intense I couldn't stand it and usually had to ejaculate right after.
Instead of this you stimulate the energy and then recirculate it throughout the body,
this worked very well and the intense arousal gets transmuted and you feel energized.

To deal with ejaculation I would highly recommend this channel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaB24deuzVs

>>11725
Hatred.

>>12961
我一直想学别语言。我学了一下日本语，一下些个别语言。现在我只学中文。我还喜欢都语言，可是没有多时间。为什么我挑中文? 我认为它很奇怪和漂亮。中国的历史有我的兴趣。
我想一下看三体。我也喜欢非人哉的电视。
对不起，我没有多学习写我的觉得的，所以我想我的中文写的特别差。

Do cosplay
instagram@next_jen_cosplay/

>>11725
i have interactions with people irl that remind me of my own importance

>>11725
>How do you stay motivated?
Keep your physical activity up.

>>11725
Create good daily habits

>>13127
Just do it

>>11725
I think that the first thing you need to do is getting used to doing the thing you want to do. Even if you're struggling to focus, force yourself to do it for a while and you will see some results. It doesn't necessarily have to be a routine, just make sure that you're doing it. Also, if it's something you can do without being on the computer, try doing it away from any digital device you own. Having no distractions really helps with concentration.

I use my self doubt to motivate myself. Pair that with caffeine, and I got myself a somewhat productive day. It also comes down to your beliefs too. If your personal beliefs dictate you to study or do something, then you'll do it. Otherwise, if you feel enough shame, you'll hopefully force yourself to do it.

>>15255
Good on you, dude.

>>11725
Never give up