/hell/ - internet death cult

>Do you have kids, sushi?
No
>Do you want them?
Kind of, but at first I have to get my life in check and find someone to have kids with, so it actually might never happen. I'm in my 30s now, which is a good age to start a family. With zero dating experience however it will be an uphill battle.
>What if the kid is born sick?
hard mode unlocked
>What if I don't love it?
That's unlikely and an indicator for a serious mental condition.
>What if my partner and I have a fallout?
This happens all the time and it always sucks for everyone. Life goes on.
>Isn't it selfish to have kids?
I think it's rather selfish to not have kids, because it puts the burden of raising the next generation on other people while you eventually will depend on their work.
>Will I still get to enjoy life?
There are a lot of things to enjoy in life, but there is nothing quite like having offspring of your own. It seems to be a very significant event. In case you fear your life becoming less enjoyable with children, there certainly is a trade to make paid in free time, spare money, flexibility and opportunities. Think about the things you do in your past time and try to cut it down to 2-3 hours a day. There wont be much more left, if you don't want to neglect your kids or have them raised by TV and iPad.
>Will my kids love me?
Depends mostly on your skills in raising them and your partner not badmouthing you after a split-up for example.
>How can I be a good parent if I'm not necessarily a good person?
Some people completely change in character once they have kids. The fact that you are taking all these things in consideration is already a good indicator for your capabilities to become a responsible parent.

>>5035
you are a very smart sushi

>>5035
>and an indicator for a serious mental condition
At which point it's already too late because the kid is here now and you've just discovered you're mentally ill. Of course it gets worse, because at first you just think "maybe I'm just tired from all the hard work and smelly diapers, and things'll change".
Probably a good idea to get your brain checked before having kids.

I swear watching anime has given me this weird impulse to be a father and have a cute daughter I can dote on. Funnily enough a wife or partner (her mother) never features in these fantasies. I'm a hikineet with no job prospects so I doubt it will ever happen. I don't think I'd ever be a good father. I'm too cold and stoic and irresponsible.

>>5058
What kind of professional would you even go to for a brain check like that?
>>5068
Be a cool uncle then!

Used to, but now I'll just fend to my own devices and call it a day.

I'm going to be an uncle within a year. I do not want kids because I know this world's pretty screwed up, man. I'm also pretty screwed up. I think I'll be an okay uncle, though. I won't see the kid since they live across the country, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

>Do you have kids, sushi?
no.
>Do you want them?
sometimes, i think it would be nice.
but im too mentally-ill to properly raise a kid.
>>5123
>I'm going to be an uncle
i was an uncle by age 11 cause i have older sisters, its fun and highly rewarding especially since you only take care of them for short increments, dealing with them for extended periods is tiresome.

I couldn't imagine dating someone without the intention of marriage and children, barring a genuine medical reason, but that's not going to happen so it's best not to think about it. I mostly feel bad for my parents, though, since they won't get any grandchildren.
Children are a lot of fun, though, especially when you don't have to change their diapers or anything. I just happened to be working part-time nearby and got to visit my second cousin in the maternity ward after she gave birth and welcome her son into this world. It was really special. I don't see him that often but he's starting school now.

I don't outright want kids but I don't mind them all that much (especially older ones). I don't really expect to ever get married either but if someone does interest me I'd have to be clear upfront that I don't want kids. I do like to teach and mentor though and of course watching someone grow is incredibly fulfilling so if I ever do develop that paternal instinct I'll probably just adopt or volunteer with the foster system or something. I'm almost 30 and never really felt interested in kids though so I'm not sure if that feeling will ever come. Also, while I think I'd be a decent parent if push came to shove, I struggle to take care of myself sometimes and it doesn't seem fair to inflict that on an innocent child, whether or not I "rise to the occasion" as the young parents I know have said they've had to do.

Regarding the philosophical questions: to me it seems like a fundamentally selfish act to create someone in my own image without their consent and force them into a life whose worth they won't have the mental faculties to evaluate until they're old enough to be too emotionally invested for impartiality. And in a utilitarian sense it just doesn't seem to be in their best interest given the potential for suffering, and especially recursive suffering considering their own possible children. That's just my personal ethical standard for making people that's too high to ever meet though, hence the decision to adopt or foster if I feel the urge. In any case, I don't see any duty to continue the species or nation or whatever, except for maybe a collective social imperative to make life as pleasant as possible for the people who already exist, every single one of them having been tossed into existence without being consulted beforehand. That said though, I don't think it's reasonable to hold everybody else to a standard I came to based on personal experience so I don't begrudge other people having kids. Sex is a physical compulsion which is connected (though thankfully no longer inextricably) to fertility, and people have all kinds of diverse motivations and value judgements based on their own rich lives which I can never be privy to, so the decision whether or not to have kids is something I don't think I have much right to judge people for, as long as there's no intentional or serious harm done to the children.

>>5034
I don't have kids. But I do want a successor for myself and I do want my parents to have grandchildren, so I'll try working towards it when I have the means to support the future family. Besides, I like loli. So there is this motivation for me as well.

> yet most people seem to just go with the flow
Working an 8-5 doesn't let you have much time and energy to go against it. So it's no wonder if the kid learns from school, the classmates and the internet more so than from you.
> Shaping the life of another human being sounds incredibly difficult
I think it depends on what you want to shape it into and the means you're willing to subject your children to.

If you're too rough and restrictive, the kid may recognize you as an enemy for the rest of their life and snap into a life of decadence the moment they're out of your control. There has to be a right balance between fun and building skills/conditioning required for surviving this world happily/painlessly. Ideally, you should be an ally to each other. A family.

> Isn't it selfish to have kids?
I think it is, but I don't think it's wrong.

>>5126
> worth they won't have the mental faculties to evaluate
They won't have the sophisticated understanding that you may have, but little children do value their lives. Or, at least, a little kid wouldn't want to lose it and is easily scared of dying. I think it's usually later in life, when they are, say, 14, that they may decide to quit living.

If then your child considers terminating their existence and you can't resolve the underlying problem or talk them out of it, then you should help them with the means. Very sad, yes, but wouldn't that be in accordance with your ethics?

>>5127
The problem isn't really deciding to quit living or being scared of dying. The problem is one: that the sensations of our flesh prisons influence our opinions in the way you already described, and two: that whether or not life is worth living at all is a judgement that it's only really the right of the individual living the life to make (this is without considering the obligations to one another we pick up over the course of our lives, the biggest one being of course to any children we create). We all have the built-in inability to make an unbiased judgement of whether or not the life we will have will be worth living, considering the potential suffering we will all experience and inflict. I don't really subscribe to mind-body dualism so I'm really only saying the whole flesh prison thing kind of jokingly but it's not a problem of deciding to die later but one of not being allowed to choose whether to exist at all. It's just an unfair (in my opinion) circumstance, and nobody's fault. I'm just not comfortable doing that to somebody, especially someone I expect I would love so dearly as my own child. Some people are comfortable with that though and think they can make up for it with the life they can provide to their child, or have a different perspective entirely, and that's fine. But it really has less to do with suicide than with self-awareness. It's existential.

I'm actually pretty strongly against suicide in most cases, barring the usual stuff like extreme pain and terminal illness. I think our lives belong only to us and are ours to do what we want with (unless we created more people, thereby obligating ourselves to our offspring), but we're already here and we know the end isn't so far away so while there's a chance of enjoying our time and finding meaning we might as well keep trying to.

Anecdotally it seems to me that people who are mostly happy see existential questions as indicative of depression or some other mental illness. I used to kind of get frustrated when people drew that connection instead of directly engaging with the logic, but now I actually sort of like seeing that response since it appears to indicate that they are in general satisfied with life, and it feels good to see happy people.

Off-topic: when did pixiv start taking webp? I think that's the first _p0.webp I've noticed.

>>5128
Perhaps, it is then better to leave it for the child to decide if you deciding for them on whether they should come into being was fair or not? Would you give such a loophole a thought? Somehow (and at least right now) I'd really want to convince (you) to procreate. A selfish wish of mine. >>>/lounge/15896. But you do you.

So many "no" replies… It's as if there is some metaphysical power that wants us to die out. Powers from beyond may (not) exist, but are there "us" to speak of? Is there something that people who have posted here in this thread share that validates putting them into a group? Otaku culture? But isn't that too loose a definition? And if so, do the disagreements and differences of sushichan posters not outweigh what similarities they have? Ehh~

> Off-topic: when did pixiv start taking webp?
In my file manager, I have a hotkey bound to a script that turns PNGs into lossless WebP. I once thought of writing a daemon that would do the conversions automatically upon downloading a file or inserting a conversion option into GtkFileChooserDialog, but it seems that I don't really want to.

>>5127
>Besides, I like loli. So there is this motivation for me as well.
in my book that means you shouldn't have kids. this is insanely creepy.

I am a bald, fat virgin and a chronic loner with minor mental issues. Neither should I, nor can I manage to pass on my genes, heheh.

>>5157
You can work on or with every single thing you listed.

>>5127
>besides i like loli so there is that motivation for me as well
I hope youre trolling but please never reproduce your fucking child should never be an object of sexual desire

>>5157
balders rise up

>>5176
hell yea brother

I don't like the thought of having kids when I don't have a romantic relationship even. One step at a time.

>>5034
No, and to the second question, quite frankly, no as well.

As for my personal feelings on the matter, it only goes as far as I do feel genuinely bad about not giving my parents the peace of mind that their legacy gets preserved with me. So in a way, I do want to have kids at some point.

If I ever get to that stage however, I'll just roll with whatever the dice gives me and not think too hard about it. I feel like thinking too much about it beforehand is too much.

It's selfish to have kids if you want them and selfless to have them if you don't. This is assuming no negligent knocked up shenanigans.

>>5219
What's selfish about wanting to have kids? It's how we keep society and our species going. There are plenty of non-selfish reasons to want kids.

>Do you have kids, sushi?
no
>Do you want them?
i dont but that might change
i am a weirdo though, like i often hear people wanting to get married and have kids ever since childhood. myself? i didnt want to have any sort of relationship since childhood, humans kinda freak me out. sometimes i meet a person i could tolerate but they are still freaky, i am still freaky
>Shaping the life of another human being sounds incredibly difficult, yet most people seem to just go with the flow
i think a good way to look at this is just kinda let it go
as long as you dont abuse them somehow, they will turn out okay. probably. even if they dont its good to think that you did your best
tho ultimately i think kids are both a luxury and are kinda out of tune with the environment in the modern world. there is no economic incentive to make kids - or rather, there might be but so far down the line the regular person like you and me probably wont bother - and there isnt enough societal support regarding providing for kids and their upbringing. the modern urban landscape is just horrible for kids
>What if the kid is born sick?
imo sick kids should be euthanized/aborted no mercy
this reality is difficult as it is, one makes it more difficult for oneself by deciding to raise a cripple and for the kid as well because they will just to have to deal with the handicap in a competitive environment and it will reduce their possibilities in life, which i find unethical to say the least
that said, if their condition is treatable to the point of no handicap or some insignificant handicap, they should get treated and just raised as a normal kid
>What if I don't love it?
you still can raise it or at least provide for it fair and square, consider the job done
it would be sad tho, its not unlikely you grow attached anyway
>What if my partner and I have a fallout?
you worry about too much stuff but ultimately its not too terrible
you could choose to live in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kid and eject from family once they grow up (like age 20-25)
>Isn't it selfish to have kids?
it is
i am not strictly anti-natalist but i am pretty sure nobody asked to be brought into this torture chamber we call "world" and i am pretty sure a lot of people do not enjoy their lives at all
one of the big reasons i dont want to bring any more people into this world is because i think here is horrible heh
>Will I still get to enjoy life?
most probably yes
especially if you tone that worrying of yours down :3
>Will my kids love me?
they might, they might not
ultimately it shouldnt matter too much, you still could treat them fairly
and yea, if you wanted kids because you wanted some cuddly pets who would love you, i think you better reconsider the reasons to have kids heh
>How can I be a good parent if I'm not necessarily a good person?
you probably cant honestly but as long as you are not a horrible person/parent your kids might turn out okay