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/hell/ - internet death cult

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Remember to keep it cozy!

Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

File: 1693108569536.jpg (71.84 KB, 496x448, trollface.jpg)

 No.4636

Hi,

My name is Kyle Robbins. I'm the Sr. SRE manager of GTI (Global Technology Infrastructure)/CNS (Compute, Network, Storage) at JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPMC). My JPMC SID is V677983. I report directly to GTI ESX Operations Sr. Manager of the Americas, Kenneth L. Falor (SID F671000).

A detailed description about JPMC's internal security protocols can be read here: https://rentry.co/wadu81

A detailed description about JPMC's W.A.D.U. employee monitoring system can be read here: https://rentry.co/wadu80

I wanted to let everyone know that I stand in solidarity with Kenneth L. Falor. The things that we have been asked to do by JPMC upper management with regards to eliminating unwanted employees is not right…and that's putting it lightly. I can no longer continue to do the things I have been pressured to do.

List of VMware employees currently compromised by the JPMC's phone spyware and are effectively being blackmailed:
- Dixon Ly
- Nimish Desai
- Steven Tumolo
- Vlad Lalovic
- Chirag Patel
- Trey Tyler
- Michael Crane

List of JPMC employees currently participating in an illegal elimination action plan:
- Paul Benner (Jersey City)
- Ali Zaringhalam (Jersey City)
- Abhimanyu Alavalapati (Jersey City)
- Agustin Paz (Buenos Aires)
- Michael Swan (Jersey City)
- Sambo Taing (Houston)
- Omika Misha (Plano)
- Raymond Brown (Houston)
- Sebastian Cassano (Buenos Aires)
- Adam Belvin (Houston)
- Cristian Rogani (Glasgow)
- Gino Ballan (Buenos Aires)
- Agustin Gimenez (Buenos Aires)
- Pablo A Rabinovich (Buenos Aires)
- Rodrigo E Winter (Buenos Aires)
- Fawad Jilani (Plano)
- Sujana Bhumireddy (Jersey City)
- Rod M Alvarez Del Rio (Jersey City)
- Dimple Sharma (Plano)

These are the managers and team leads that are currently participating in an illegal elimination action plan:

Clifford A Tozier (Jersey City) +1-201-595-6006 - SID: O302083
Ramakrishna Gannamaneni (Houston) +1-618-541-1365 - SID: I521474
Kenneth L. Falor (Plano) +1-214-542-7072 - SID: F671000
Kyle Robbins (me, Houston) +1-713-591-0338 - SID: V677983
Ezequiel Mazur (Buenos Aires) +59 9 11 2399-1835 - SID: N673435
Sambo Taing (Houston) +1-346-777-4104 - SID: V037316

The people listed above have no choice but to participate in the illegal elimination action plans they are assigned. It's part of the JPMC management job description. If you do not participate, you'll find an elimination action plan opened against yourself. Fun place to work, right?

These are JPMC's most prized employees. They treat them like shit. They are all overworked, all while being meticulously micromanaged and monitored. If you need VMware SRE talent with an emphasis on python automation, any of these employees will bring serious game to your existing team. Just reach out discreetly with a competitive offer.

The salary range between all the employees listed is $115-145K USD. Most of these people have families and will expect benefits to be fully covered to match their existing package with JPMC. Most have 3 weeks of vacation, some have 4. Most of the employees in Buenos Aires would be willing to relocate, but they would need visa sponsorship to be included in their offer.

Seriously, throw ethics out with this one. I'm sending this to every recruiting firm I can find.

Happy hunting!

- Adil Marwane (Plano) +1-919-324-4383
- Marco Perez Jr. (Plano) +1-682-209-1318
- Agustin Paz (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6470-6533
- Omika Misha (Plano) +1-469-684-2453
- Sebastian Cassano (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6123-5004
- Adam Belvin (Houston) +1-404-825-7094
- Cristian Rogani (Glasgow) +39 351 552 6241
- Gino Ballan (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 5024-8836
- Thomas Barcia (Tampa) +1-954-257-3700
- Agustin Gimenez (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6663-8915
- Pablo A Rabinovich (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6107-1984
- Rodrigo E Winter (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 5505-3390
- Fawad Jilani (Plano) +1-832-614-7113
- Pablo Padilla (Houston) +1-281-258-3144
- Beenie (Houston) +1-281-725-8323
- Matias Pardo (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 5562-5875
- Matias N Pezzali (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6425-7168
- Fernando (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6413-8062
- Cristian Tornillo (Buenos Aires) +54 9 11 6413-8062

Thanks,
Kyle Robbins

P.S. Rumor has it that you guys are working with Rivera Tool to build Elon
Musk something called the "Fag-o-tron 2000…? We think it's probably butt
related, since Elon is a giant california roll himself, but if you guys could shed
some light on the specifics, it would be really helpful! Pls? Kthx bye!

Tried to send this to the guys at Halcyon Molecular but I couldn't find a
working address for them:

P.S. Did Elon Musk invest in this scammy company so you could invent
something to make him not be a giant california roll? I mean, if so, you guys have
got your work cut out for you. Good luck, lol!


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