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/hell/ - internet death cult

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Remember to keep it cozy!

Happy Holidays!

File: 1672180981344.jpg (64.86 KB, 1125x967, Least Fr_nch Contraceptive.jpg)


we need more greentext
>be me
>shit myself


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>be 12
>playing with beyblades with guy from school
>he randomly says loser has to suck the winners dick
>for some reason I agree
>my dragoon fucking let me down
>sucked my first dick due to losing a beyblade match


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>be me
>can't sleep at night
>end up watching a movie up until 6am
>sun is creeping in
>will have to drink a red bull to seize the day
I can't wait until I get my prescription for sleeping pills


>be me
>working customer service
>i help customers that come up to me
>customer gets close to me
>greet them as usual
>"hello, good evening!"


Obviously it wasn't a good evening. I'm inclined to agree.


>be me
>ride bus


File: 1675028407018.gif (74.47 KB, 600x600, adasdasd.gif)

>be me
>be extremely horny because of physical activities I've been getting into, sometimes jerking 4 times a day
>crank it to some real hardcore incest lolicon
>my dick ends up bleeding out because I broke the frenulum
>end up painting the whole bathroom red
>feel happy just because I like pain, laugh through the whole thing
>still worried about it, end up talking to my friends about me cutting my string doing "funny things"
>my sister said i'm too stupid to even be a coomer
>arrive to the hospital
>have to wait 5 hours just to get checked
>they just put some gauze inside my foreskin and use a bit of anaesthetics
>by the time I arrive home the gauze leaks out and I just drop blood from my cock
>can't do physical activities that were helping me to feel good mentally and now just rot in bed until it goes away


what the FRICK


>wake up
>extremely horny
>want to fap
>touch dick
>its sore
i seriously need to stop masturbating so much


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>take car in for oil change
>hey your starter sounds pretty bad, you might want to get that replaced
>…but we don't have the part here so we'll have to order it, we'll call you in 3-4 days when it's in
>2 days later
>car won't start
>shit, really don't want to have to get it towed
>let's ask the google
>people suggest hitting the starter with a hammer
>can't reach it because it's behind other parts
>open and close the hood a few times instead
>try starting again
>it fucking worked
>take it back to the shop

On the bright side I got this sick rental with heated seats in the meantime.


>go on sushichan
>read silly billy greentext–
>never touch penis again

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