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I'm starting to understand why I drink so much. It's not just for fun or for the hell of it. I'm self-medicating for anxiety and depression. I know this isn't a permanent solution, but I don't know what else to do to cope.


Do you have something else to do? Might be from lack of activities and hobbies. When you feel like having a bit of a drink, do you think going for a walk or start working on a project would help keep you away from alcohol?

I think I do understand how such things happens, due to how nicer life seems to get when I've had a drink or two. General mood goes up, not as depressed. I try to restrict my drinking to specific days (only on fridays and saturdays). I don't know if there is a chance of me being an alcoholic, but I don't want to risk becoming one from having too many drinks on a regular basis.


>Do you have something else to do? Might be from lack of activities and hobbies.
No, the opposite. Too much stuff to do. Not hobbies per se, but obligations. Work, bills, classes, social life (which seems like a chore), etc.

I don't drink out of a lack of things to do. I drink when I feel overwhelmed because of having too many things to do.


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How does drinking help you with depression? When I drink it just makes it much worse because I can't control my emotions or my body at all, to the point where I end up sobbing in a puddle of puke begging god to kill me with one breath and blaspheming god for ending it with the next.


> end up sobbing
I like that part. When your emotions are bottled up over days and you are unable to get a grip on them, crying is so relieving.



I sincerely wish that I could cry. I had some like, dry heaves of sobs a couple weeks ago and that has been it since 2015 when my cat died.


Drinking helps me socialize a lot. I just don't talk and am very awkward until I've had a few in me. But I also drink alone almost daily and it's a very bad habit.


kek, get some U-49900 instead you normalfag.


I supplement ~1300-1900mg Ashwagandha and 30mg Memantine every morning, as well as low doses of Kratom throughout the day, and it helps me a lot.

Ashwagandha is an herbal adaptogen that helps with your neurotransmitter levels and stress management.

Memantine was originally designed for Alzheimers, but has undergone very promising clinical trials for Bipolar and Depression. I use it as a mood stabilizer; I have been taking it for months and almost never have mood swings anymore.

Both of these things can be easily purchased on the Internet, and are pretty cheap. With both of them it's best to work with smaller doses and slowly work your way up until it feels right. The Ashwagandha can take a couple weeks to reach full effectiveness.

Then the Kratom is a weak opioid herb, you eat the ground leaves in tea or in pills and it improves mood. At low doses it can be taken long-term and has a subtle effect. It's expensive in most places, but I found a very good deal from Mystic Island Kratoms, a Google search will turn them up.

I used to use hard drugs to deal with my depression, but those were not sustainable, and over time I eventually discovered a regiment of supplements that keeps me stable. There are all sorts of supplements out there that are easy to acquire and fairly safe to experiment with.

Some people swear by l-Theanine as an anxiolytic, but it doesn't do much for me personally. Marijuana is a toss-up, it helps some people but makes other super anxious. I'm trying to smoke less of it recently. I also have some luck with Skullcap tea or tincture, but only sometimes, not long-term.

Good luck sushis. Not everyone can get by without substances, but maybe we will some day when we figure out our shit.


You might know this but kratom isn't actually an opoid at all, it simply provides an opiate-like effect. that's all I can say about it though, I have never taken it myself. I've heard prolonged use will give you bad withdrawl when/if you stop.


OP here, I stopped drinking. YEET!


Good on you sushi! How's life been treating you?


Where do you even get Memantine? I've heard about it, but I never see it in any of my usual sources. Is it only acquirable through prescription? I self medicate with various dissociatives, recently back to doing ketamine after doing legal pcp analogues for a few hours, but I'm done with that. Last time I did 3-ho-pcp and banged my head something fierce, that was a wake up call, I looked like a warzone victim, thank god for my thick skull. I swear nothing else besides NMDA antagonists can even me out, and no jerk ass doctor prescribes that stuff around here, so I'm forced to acquire shit paralegally and have to straddle the line between healthy self medication and abuse. With K I got a good system though, only ever order how much I'm gonna need, can't fail, shit is too weak to abuse easily without deep pockets or willingness to do needles


*for a few years


kratom is not an opioid, and has a relatively low affinity for the opioid-mu receptor in comparison to even tramadol, and there's not much literature behind most of what you listed, be careful..


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I stopped drinking heavily after something like that happened. The shame is still there, but the hangover was ten times worse. Later and until last year I was still drinking a lot to cope with anxiety, but never enough to get sick from it.

Anyway, congratulations OP, that's not an easy task.


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Exercise, my guy. I didn't like it at first but it really did clear my mind. Now I love it and look forward to the gym every day for the boost. Give it a month of two or three times a week and take it at least a little seriously. I guarantee you'll feel some improvement.


Would you recommend muscle training or just cardio?

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