Yes, well i have a job. Working doesn't itself solve deeply rooted problems. Working and the ability to work was not the issue as such.
Being neet was a symptom of untreated anxiety and burgeoning directionless adulthood.
Routine and mood was/is key, at least for me.
Start small and structure your day in productive ways. If you must, get a small note book to keep in your pocket and make a daily checklist with times to complete by for every little detail. I did it down to applying deodorant level of micro managing my self. Something that didn't work for me was having a day off from this structure, it didn't work at all I lost motivation in that day, and it all crumbled. You have to 100% believe in this shit, any shred of doubt has to go away you have to dedicate really hard but it will fall in to place in no time. Ensure stable meal times with a rounded meal plan for each day. Sleep at the same time each day and you'll find you'll wake up at the same time but never get rid of your alarm.
Once I had a structure for my day I was able to allocate time and energy in to job searching and getting in contact with people. I mainly got back up with old school friends and online communities. I find it hard to communicate with new people in a natural way but I'm working on that.
You really have to believe you'll do better and you can't let that slip, keep slow simple progress in an attempt to keep that high.
Start with a few small tasks everyday. When you accomplish them easily, add something more.
I want to do the opposite. I want to set myself up so I can live the hikkineet life as comfy as possible with no responsibilities. I'm already doing well in the no friends department, next step is to quit my job, but first I need a place to live. It's hard I'm considering vandwelling maybe.
The comfiest hikkiniito life is lolicon tbqdesu, but most hikkineets have friends/family who would be too hurt, so they stick around.
If you're planning hikkineet life as a deliberate choice, you may find lolicon an easier and more effective solution to your problems. (don't kys or anything)
He's been loli censored!
Oh, the humanity!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life…
But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got lolicon?
Choose designer lingerie in a vain hope of kicking some love back into a dead relationship. Choose handbags. Choose high heeled shoes. Choose Cashmere and silk, to make yourself feel what passes for happy. Choose an iPhone made in China by a woman who jumped out of a window, and stick it in the pocket of your jacket fresh from a South Asian firetrap. Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Sushichan and a thousand other ways to spew your bile across people you've never met. Choose updating your profile. Tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone, somewhere cares. Choose looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don't look as bad as they do. Choose live-blogging from your first wank to your last breath. Human interaction reduced to nothing more than data. Choose ten things you never knew about celebrities who'd had surgery. Choose screaming about abortion. Choose rape jokes, slut shaming, revenge porn, and an endless tide of depressing misogyny. Choose 9/11 never happened, and if it did, it was the Jews. Choose a zero-hour contract and a two-hour journey to work, and choose the same for your kids, only worse. And maybe tell yourself it's better that they never happened. And then sit back and smother the pain with an unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody's fucking kitchen. Choose unfulfilled promise and wishing you'd done it all differently. Choose never learning from your own mistakes. Choose watching history repeat itself. Choose the slow reconciliation towards what you can get rather than what you always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brave face on it. Choose disappointment. And choose losing the ones you loved. And as they fall from view, a piece of you dies with them. Until you can see that one day in the future, piece by piece, they will all be gone. And there'll be nothing left of you to call alive or dead. Choose your future, Sushi. Choose life.
Exactly. I'm so glad
that someone understands.
I don't think that was meant as an appreciation of your posts. It seems you've got some deep-rooted resentment against "normal" life… most of what you've mentioned is either part of the normal cycle of life or something you can act on if it's negative.
Life can be hard sometimes. It may even be hard for prolonged periods that may seem unending… but choosing facility, shutting yourself in, and ignoring the world around you will only make the down harder when external circumstances give you a wake-up slap (especially since you seem to equate escapism with a japanese doujin fetish).http://www.aestheticrealism.net/poetry/Oak-Reed-LaFontaine.htm
you do know that those posts are riffs on quotes from the *Trainspotting* movies right?
Well, guess I've outed myself as a retard. My cinematographic culture is quite weak, sorry.
The Trainspotting films are required viewing for life. The second not so much but most certainly the first, 100%.
Ewan MacGregor sucks and I hate him.
Not OP, but I'm slowly working on this myself. But I keep making the mistake of listing way too much. I'll start to become overwhelmed, it'll crumble, and then I'll start all over again. I've been in this repeated attempt in fixing my life this way since 2010. I need to try to figure out a perfect balance with my daily schedules.
I've been a NEET off and on for as long as I've been out of school. I went in deep as a hikkimori mode for a while while trying to get on autisumbux but had no luck. I desperately tried to find a way of making money from home or online and explored dozens of options, but came up empty handed each time. I was lucky to make $100 in a month. I started getting older and fed up and didn't want to keep living the way I was. I started looking for a job and got one. Luckily my field doesn't require much skill and the jobs are always in high demand. Although I was honestly willing to take anything I could get to try and get some income going. It was a hard transition but I pretty much just told myself to stop being such a little friendly lady and forced myself to get out there. I still hate being around people or going out, but I'm at a job now that requires very little social interaction and when no ones around I pull out a laptop to watch anime or chat on irc. Been at my current job two years now and in that time was able to pay off a new(ish) car and put a down payment on a new house. I'd say my life is far from fixed, but it's a step in the right direction at least. And no, no friends who like me or anything like that, not unless you count a few random e-buddies on the other side of the globe.
I used to be an agoraphobic NEET. Horribly anxious and addicted to pills and other substances, given to me by enabling family members. Eventually became homeless, which was the lowest point in my life. However, being homeless forced me to change significantly. Very rapidly, too.
Then I got a shitty job, slept on someone's couch for a while, went back to college, and eventually got an entry-level tech job.
I have one good friend and a few acquaintances now.
Life is very difficult, but I'm still surviving.
Please explain why someone would want to stop being a hikkineet? It's the perfect life!
For me it was just a downward spiral. I couldn't get a decent income, and the people I was mooching off just got more and more angry with me. Impossible to stay NEET when the government cuts all funding if you're not at least taking part of work related programs.
I think this kind of life only works out for a few individuals that manage to find some kind of steady income without having a traditional job. I wish that was me, but it is just so much easier for me to get a job. Problem for me is that I spent my 20s unemployed, and now that I'm in my 30s, I'm unable to get a steady job. Most jobs I can get are very emotionally abusive and doesn't always give you enough hours every month to make ends meet.
I think to be a successful NEET, you should make sure you can take care of yourself, without having to rely too much on others.
It sure as hell wasn't "perfect" for me. Being able to do whatever whenever was nice, but everything else was just so soul crushingly terrible. Having to count pennies with anything beyond $100 requiring intense long-term financial planning or handouts from family, the paralyzing passiveness of "I'll get around to it" with zero self improvement despite the seemingly infinite time, not doing anything apart from passively consuming media, the interactions with family being those awkward affairs you don't want to face, I most definitely don't miss any of that horseshit and I'm really trying to keep up the momentum I've gathered recently.
I think most hikkis eventually are forced to get some kind of job. Anyway I was hikki for a few years. Eventually landed a labour job, which is fine, it kept me healthy and moving around. I was also lucky to work in a place with friendly immigrants, so I ended up being forced to learn social skills. Even went to a few parties and got a gf.
Anyway, after a couple years at the factory I realised I can't do this my whole life, so I went back to uni and I have 1 more year on my CS course. I also just managed to get some internship in another country, so right now I'm packing my shit to fly there. It's been about 6 years since I was a hikki, and I'm still kinda recovering from it.
I dunno. I don't really like hanging out with guys. I also don't get along with people of my own nationality. I think I got very lucky stumbling into a job with a bunch of immigrant ladies. It changed this idea that I couldn't ever get along with anyone. After a few years of doing and saying stupid shit, I eventually learned to correctly socialise.
Anyway, like I said, I still prefer my own company. But it's a personal choice, not something I'm forced into. That makes it a lot easier to be happy in my situation. Now my plan is to go out and bust my ass, see the world, and get tons of money. Then probably go back to being a hikki lol.
For people that are struggling. Well, I am 28. I got my first girlfriend when I was 26. I'll probably be almost 30 when I finish my internship and graduate. Don't worry about being too old to turn things around. Your 20s are for discovering what you want from life. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Think about what you want from life, and then take it step by step. As long as you are alive, you have time to change things.
Your life serves as a good example to others. I might end up showing this post to a hikki I'm sweet on, so thanks for that.
I was a neet for 2/3 years.
What's awful about trying to un-neet is the gap in life. like you can't fool anyone, employers, co-workers etc their first question will be "so what have you been doing". It's not like they're testing you, they're actually interested. It's just unfortunate that their interest exposes our failures.
In my country you need 2 references when you apply for a job which is basically someone of professional career who says what you've done around them and why you're a good person. As you can imagine, this is about as close to a trap card as a neet can possibly ever find.
I got really luck with my first job and they never checked cause my box was empty :^). Then for my current job where they actually check (since its a good job this time) I was able to put my last job in and got special permission to only put one.
If your neet life is like 1 year you can explain that away pretty easily, 2-4 years you'll have to make something up about pursuing a personal interest or whatever and if it gets longer than that then I think you would just have to be honest and hope they're understanding.
References are a disastrous system for neets in that regard. Literally nothing else could be so easily damning.
But at the end of the day if you don't bite the bullet and suffer through pile of rejections until you find someone who will give you a shot then your future will be one of desolation.
If any neets in the making are reading this, just get a temp job with super short hours after education or whatever. Just something easy to say you were doing *something*.
Once you fall out of society it is incredibly difficult and painful to claw your way back in.
Glad to help. I see too many people on imageboards despairing because "I'm 22 and never had a gf". Man, if only they knew how young they were.
Yeah the references thing is terrible. When you eventually get lucky and land a job, it's critical to find 2 people at your job who will be your reference for later jobs. This falls under the whole social anxiety thing too. A lot of this problem stems from simply being afraid to confront a person and ask them a favour. When you practise socialising, you can overcome this, but it's certainly a long road to get to that point.
I read the Hagakure, decided to live my life to the fullest, dress respectfully, moved to a totally new place, and decided to start talking to strangers respectfully IRL since its not like i have anything to loose.
Being a hikki was no fun, I actually lost my voice from not talking for months at a time.
I have been a hikki neet on and off for maybe 4 years at this point. I have never understood why people complain about this lifestyle. This is basically the best a human can have. Or at least it is for me. Maybe other people's brains work differently, they need direction or purpose from a job or family or education etc. For me I have never desired any of these things. I don't like "direction". I like to go in many directions at once, or go hardcore in one direction for a couple days and then never again. The world outside is not set up for that modality. I have the freedom that I can spend 3 days fucking around in gentoo if I want, or I could spend those days playing counter strike and jacking off, or I can do both or neither.
I think most people don't actually desire freedom, they want freedom from desire. This means they end up longing for someone to tell them what to do. If they don't have something to do, people lose a grip on their sense of self. They want to know that they are here for a reason. I have never felt any of these emotions or desires. When someone tells me what to do I just get annoyed. In fact, I will enjoy a task, but as soon as I know that i'm being forced to do it I no longer enjoy it. That's why I hate sleeping and food, because i'm being forced to do it.
None of my hobbies or interests involve being outside, I have a few close friends on the internet to keep me company. I just genuinely don't understand why anyone would want a different life from this. I don't mind being poor, almost everything I like is free or cheap. Please explain how this is a bad thing.
I've been a NEET with pathetic attempts at fixing it since 2011. I've started a pre-uni course this year in the hopes of either getting into a medical related degree or just doing an accounting degree next year.
Western culture (at least as it exists today)hates fun. We've been brainwashed into thinking that we don't deserve happiness unless we've tortured ourselves to obtain it, and we've been taught to fear that which naturally brings us pleasure.