I'm about to finish a project. It's nothing too big, but I've put a lot of effort into it. It's the first time I've worked on something like this, so I've made a few mistakes, but I can feel I've gotten better for it. That's a really good feeling.
what are you making?
wtf me too sushi roll. where are you headed? for me it's portland, or
I'm gonna be drinking tonight.
Portland OR. You wouldn't happen to be moving there for school?
I just got the last laugh on someone who has been a massive douche to me.
I may finally get my hrt soon
It'll be cheat day in 6 hours. I've got a WHOLE lotta junk food a-waitin' for me.
Hormone Replacement Therapy? If so, congrats, sushi!! Not in that position at all, but it's nice to hear you and a lot of other sushis are making great strides in life.
As for me? I'm finally not scared to drive, now I need to get a car that doesn't fail.
Nice! It legit made my life so much better. Super happy for you.
I'm heading off to university in a city I love! Equal parts nervous and ecstatic. My life is headed in the direction I want right now and that's an amazing feeling.
Off work for two days!! I'm pretty comfy now that I've showered and have my dinner almost done, sloppy joes and french fries, delicious. Then after some relaxing videos or maybe some anime, self foot rub and sleep! Max comfy.
Quit my job, I'm going home and seeing family.
A friend of mine who moved away a few months ago is coming back to visit on the weekend.
My girlfriend is quitting her job and moving back to her town, closer to me.
I had something similar happen to me last week. Asked out a coworker who had been catching my eye for about a month now, he let me down gently. I was disappointed but it was a relief to bring this touchy feely shit to a conclusion.
I'm going to Japan in a few days with my boyfriend, it's something we've wanted to do for years. I have plane anxiety but I got Xanax for the first time and I'm excited to see if it works. I'm also practicing meditation and trying to de-stress as much as possible and it seems to be helping. I have to start applying for jobs when I come back but right now I'm so blissful.
Did you get those xannies from a doctor or a dealer? If you got them from a dealer, best check erowid for ways to test that shit. There's a hell of a lot of black market xanax, especially the bars, that are actually just pressed fentanyl. Don't fuck with that shit even once.
EEng or something else? That's a beautiful cloud.>>4109
You'll be fine, just remember the incantation before you board.
Went for a date on Thursday that went really well. The girl was very cute and I could tell she liked me. I also stated watching Kemono Friends and bought some Nendoroids of characters I like. I know both of those events sound diametrically opposes, but I don’t care. I’m so happy I could shit.
Context for the “I’m so happy I could shit” quip. Pink flamingos.
I'm getting better with programming! I'm making cool stuff that's actually usable, not just class assignments.
As a dude? Don’t go down the trap road my friend.
judging other people's decisions is uncomfy desu
I ain't no trap but I wanna be more feminine cause that's the role I want to be in romance-wise. I'll try the femboi route for a couple years, if I like how I look I'll stay that way until I find a nice guy and start a family, then I'll probably go back to being a big and scary motherfucker.
Nail polish is fun though and I'm looking forward to improving my nail art skillz. Some of the shit these chicks can do is pretty badass.
sushi roll makes a gay post. sushi roll 2 says something against it or makes a joke. sushi roll 3 calls them uncomfy.
It's like clockwork.
I have a nice house with decent roommates, and I no longer have to deal with little kids.
I found a podcast I like and it's good and I like it
lucky i wish i couldve been you
how did it go, and who was it with
He was a Mexican leather daddy who found me at the gay bar alone on a friday night. I was so very shy but he was so very confident. He gave me compliments and felt me up. I had never felt attractive before and have even apologized for my appearance to a prostitute a couple years back so, God, he didn't even have to buy me a drink. He was alright looking, his ass was perfect.
It was trashy but wonderful, we went back to his little studio apartment and listened to the drunks screaming at each other in the parking lot. I don't know how much detail is appropriate but holy hell I smoked like 5 cigarettes after the second time that night and the walk of shame was pleasantly difficult.
The pillow talk would have been better if I could've understood anything he said but my Spanish wasn't much better than his English so whatever. I needed this so bad, so glad I gave him my number.
Now I'm happy about my mountain dew apple dumplings. Once they come out, I'm gonna eat them so hard.
Sure thing, sushi. You get a can of crescents, some butter, sugar, an apple sliced into 8 pieces and about 16 ounces (a can) of mountain dew. You melt your butter and sugar (I always reduce my sugar to less than a cup) until it's a sauce. You get your apple slices and wrap them in the crescents dough, a can of them is usually 8 crescents. Then you put them in a casserole pan, and pour your butter sauce and mountain dew and then bake it for about 45 minutes. It sounds weird but it's fast and easy, and tastes amazing with vanilla ice cream.
I started a conversation with a stranger that lasted several hours.
I'll make this.
I made a Mountain Dew Ale as a joke for a friend. (Same Grist as Belgian Wit, but target High OG and IBU, as you mix half and half with Mtn Dew that you've tried to let go flat. Yeast will overcome preservatives in soda, but they won't love it.)
Sounds like it should be served with dew apple dumplings.
My experiment with dew beer made me realize the flavor of mountain dew is lightly orange, lemon and lime, but largely sugar. It really isn't strongly flavored.
What kind of club is it?
It's an electronic technology program, which is somewhere between a trade certificate and an engineer degree in my estimate. I could do a test and get a technologist ring, which I can't decide if it's cool or silly. Also, I could build on it to do an engineering degree in two years.
I have a for sure job where I did my summer job. It's well paid, and pretty interesting, but kinda in the middle of nowhere, I want to live in the city, so this year I'm going to try to go to network events and find somewhere to work in the city if I can.
i know this totally ruins my believability but im scared of being recognised :(
That's a pretty big achievement. May I ask how you know that you pass? Did you ask a friend?
It's going to start getting chill and cozy out soon. can't wait
Thank you. I recently changed my haircut and started wearing eye make up more often, and a teacher at school who had never seen me before thought I was one of the girls.
Autumn season is best season
Going to sleep with the sound of rain on the roof of my van is so cozy.
also, starting college in 2 weeks after being NEET for more than a year. best thing of all, this setback was financially insignificant BARELY ANY TUITION IN EUROPE FUCK YEAH
I watched this.
Something about this is too subtle for me to understand properly but it makes me so happy.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hdn_AAKusl8
Thanks sushi, vid gives me a weird feeling. It's like sadness, but somehow hopeful.
I won a game with my favorite twitch streamer last night. I don't normally get star struck, but damn it was an awesome feeling.
reported and called the cops on him
Your gif makes me happy.
i would've expected an SRA instead but i'm happy for you sushi roll
what a funny thing to mention, since i'm on tramadol right now. it can't hold a candle though, obviously
I got up at a desent time for the first time in months, on my birthday of all days. Hopefully I can use this as a good launching point to get a fresh start in life and not feel constantly tired.
I know this may sound childish, but I was very excited for RDR2, but life isn't going my way, so I have very little money, decided that I would sell my 2DS, since I don't play it that much nowadays. I was really optimistic that I'm going to play a really good wester game, since I'm a big fan of Wild west games.I went to my local game store where I thought I could sell it, I was wrong. Next, I went to the pawnshop, they told me that the max they could give me was 25$. Here I'm now, cursing myself for being so happy and optimistic.
Never gamestop or pawnshop stuff. You might as well just give it away to charity. If you want money for it, do a factory reset, clean it up a bit, and sell it cash only on craigslist/gumtree/allegro (not ebay, and never abroad, cunt's will just open a "not as described claim, and ebay always takes the side of the buyer).
I also suggest just saving your stuff, and buy RDR2 on sale. It will be dirt cheap soon enough.
Hey hey, I'm just about to buy a DS Lite. And a 3DS next year.
damn dude, DS lite takes me way back. i need to get one too, emulating can't stand a chance to the real deal.
hurt my back but now I got a prescription that makes me feel high
Today was binge eating day it hurts so good
My chest feels funny
Is this part of a diet? I'm trying to lose weight myself. Just getting down to 2000 Calories a day has been a bit challenging, but counting calories has really helped me identify places to trim the fat both literally and figuratively.
Yup, I have cut out >20 pounds by eating 1700 calories a day with one cheat day a week. Well, I also exercise.
Today is my day to eat everything that tempts me throughout the week, and tomorrow I will fast. I'm hoping that will help my stomach contract more quickly so I don't always feel so hungry. One less day of doing math, too.
Good job by the way! I used to be at 2000 a day myself, boy is it crazy to see what's lean and what's not.
From one calorie counter to another, avoid artificial sweeteners. They're appetite stimulants. Also, most spices are calorie free in even generous amounts and making food a little more interesting helps you feel satisfied.
I'm happy about >>4430
Give it your best sushi roll!
I'm happy about >>4430
's image because Ui is the cutest and I love her more than I could ever love a 3d woman and she's my wife in fact
It's Saturday and I just got some kinda-expensive booze and chips.
I got a Lava Lamp recently. A purple/yellow one.
It looks very nice and helps set a chill vibe for when I'm working on stuff in my room, alongside some nice tunes, of course.
That's cool, I actually always wanted a lava lamp as a kid since watching Toy Story for some reason. Always seemed so cool and atmospheric. Hadn't thought about them for years until now reading your post.
Found out I could get tree-style tabs on firefox again. Forgot how neat they are.
have managed to taper off my caffeine use
will take a while still for tolerance to go down though
currently drinking green tea and rooibos
I found $63 in an old coat.
It's a Saturday.
My 18th birthday was yesterday. I no longer need to lie about my age online.
>getting back into different online communities and being creative again
Happy birthday, sushi!
I got two job interviews after a long drought, and they're both in a city with alot of friends from college
I wish I could be happy about that as well. Anyways, I hope you nail it. Good luck, sushi roll.
Thanks sushi, hope you get some success with your search if your also looking. To be honest the whole process has been kind of dehumanizing in its randomness.
I was about to give up on learning english because I couldn't see progress anymore, but I met this buddy on a forum and I could hold a 1 hour and half conversation. I feel good about it, don't give up, sushi.
I'll start working next week ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／
Finally I'll be able to build myself a proper battle/workstation and buy animu figures (≧∀≦)
But I first I gotta buy a car, so it'll take me a few months （◞‸◟）
good luck! hope everything turns out well.
escaping domestic abuse tomorrow
I'm thinkan about my gf
I'm sorry sushi, good luck, I hope things get better.
I've got the job I wanted. Starting next monday.b
nothing comes from nowhere
figure out the cause and you may have lasting motivation
I spent a day away from my computer.
It would have been more but i need to use it for school.
how are you doing this? an associate's degree or more than that? i've been interested in this, too, but i found nothing at the schools near me
just don't jump, ok?
that my parent is finally in the hospital and can get care they need
and I finally did it
that's great! Hope things go well for you
I will study it in a college near my hometown. Currently it would not be exactly the career of librarian, but bibliothecography. Normally this career lasts approximately 3 years, but in this college it is 5 years due to the post-degree, plus other studies that help to decorate more the academic degree.
its March break right now :DD
but that could also be a bad thing since normally i waste my holidays by being on my computer all the time…
Next week I start a new job I've been working towards for years.
I'm super excited for the job itself, but it also means I get to spend more time somewhere I used to love, but had to move away from.>>5340
That sounds super comfy, I hope it goes well for you! What kind of things to people go on to do with that? Other than the obvious like defending your library from thieving witches and yokai of course.>>5346
It doesn't have to be that way, find that motivation, I believe in you sushi>>5318
You and me both, sushiroll>>5016
I hadn't listened to any classic rock in far too long until I read this. >>4885
They ain't like they used to be though :'(>>4396
I hope it went well!
Recently I've been fairly happy with myself. I feel like I've reached zen. Looking back even 4 months ago I used to be stressed for no reason and very paranoid about things. But starting 2019 for some reason my paranoia and social anxiety has faded almost entirely. Not that I'm a "chad" now, but I'm capable of so many more things socially.
And I've been feeling that very shallow calmness in me. I don't know how else to explain it.
I'm very happy about it. Regardless of what happens to my lazy ass in the future.
Time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time sushi roll. If you're worried about being productive you could always give yourself a fun project over the break.
After 3 years of cooking awful rice every week I finally figured out how to cook it the propper way. Turn out you have to put a LOT of water in the pot and leave it on the heater for a long time.
I'm happy that I'll be eating good rice from now on
Thanks sushis :D
I ended up wasting some time but I got around to getting some work done and hanging out with friends which is good.>>5354
I wonder how you used to cook rice before?
Got Devil May Cry 5, Dead or Alive 6, and Ketsui Deathtiny.Equally glad to report that all three are great!
>>3880>old flame reached out to me recently>both matured a lot and we've started seeing each other>booking out tomorrow night and will see her the next day
Feels comfy man.
Also kind of happy to find this place. Newfriend looking for a quieter home
I just realized today I can fuck about on the computer outside. Bought my first laptop this winter, to be able to do productive work when on vacation and stuff, didn't grok until when I saw the nice weather outside today that I can be outside and do for-fun-studies and such. So hype for real summer to start!
I got a legacy dragonzord for about 25% off normal price
i was driving (legally) at 15
shenanigans was the order back then heh
My friends mother just took her license at almost 60, you can do it!
I live near a big city, and people in the city I know don't have cars or licenses because they can just take public transportation everywhere. But if they ever decide to leave the city, they'd have no experience with driving. There are plenty of grown adults who don't know how to drive, but then again, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
The problem with America is that there is no decent public transportation in a lot of suburban or rural areas. Even in big cities, American public transportation is nothing compared to many other countries.
When I went to China, the public transportation was great and I took the subway everywhere.
got a bass guitar
Congrats, you did it! Hope that you found the experience enjoyable and that it will help you find your dream job!
I recently started a diary/journal, which has been quite beneficial and therapeutic. Can't recommend it enough.
Secondary or University?
I'm glad I didn't wake up gagging my head off from my acid reflux problems.
acid reflux gang represent
Me too, in about three weeks!
Nice one. sushi. I think jellyfish are very aesthetic creatures.
oh shitto, i'm also about to go see This Heat in Atlanta tonight!
I'm relaxing in my family's summer house, it's warm here, there's a lake, the water is warm and swimming in it feels great
I guess the fact I have something I can eat here after while and I won't be going hungry.
I just got home, I'm kinda sad that I went to pee during Twilight Furniture and Health/Eat but WOW was that a good show. It sucks that they won't be performing again :(
yeah I wanted to hear that violin thingy that's on 24 track loop but they didn't have a violinist touring with them, and also I didn't get super close to the stage but I got to see both members up close and it was really cool! I saw Hayward eating dinner at the venue and he politely stepped aside me when he was walking to the backstage area. I didn't see Bullen eating with Hayward but he kinda just materialized and stood next to me during the opener. I feel like I should've said "have a good set" or something but Bullen scares me and I didn't even realize that Hayward was Hayward since he looks kinda like every other old man at the venue.
On the subject of Hayward joking around, he made an aside about Americans having air conditioning and people having to put a shirt on to go inside, and then he hit this loud buzzer thing. It was kinda strange but also funny
almost a year later, i still don't think i've made much progress from trying to get rid of that misery.
but i am now living in my next apartment and have gotten accustomed to it relatively quickly.
as for recent stuff or upcoming events that have made me joyful, i will be going on vacation rather faraway for a while and have been improving my social skills.
i felt like i absolutely did nothing for the past almost two years and i desperately want to change that.
sensing some slight hope.
Finishing up my yard work and not having to deal with it for another two weeks now.
I'm making a video game with two others and we're making good progress
I will help you with sound, guys!
I plan on having sex in a couple hours.
new lpatop finally arrived
No, I prematurely ejaculated and the night was ruined. She seems to not want to really have anything to do with me now. Having sex so carelessly was a huge mistake.
They seem like totally normal gits judging from interviews. Bullen actually seemed kind of shy. I was literally right in front of him the first show I went to and he kept his eyes closed while singing, didn't look at the audience at all except this time he gazed down at me and everyone else with these murky green eyes. I had a King Crimson shirt from when I saw them in 2017 which has the cover of Lark's Tongues in Aspic on it, I'm sure he definitely recognized it being in that world musically even before This Heat. I figured it was influential because of the experimental percussion on that album from Bill Bruford, especially for This Heat's first album.
I feel like it's a trend of the times for all music to be "commodified". They acknowledge it in the name alone that they "aren't This Heat" because they don't have the improvisational segments they had back then. That era of amorphous mostly unhindered creativity is gone. Neither is the passion to haul around a huge amount of instruments including classical ones or antique keyboards that require too much maintenance. Even the talent pool seems weaker, with bands like King Crimson having 3 drummers now presumably to compensate for Bill Bruford's material alone. Checking their current line-up I noticed they don't even have a dedicated keyboardist anymore and just split the duty between 4 members. Disappointing since when I saw them last time it was the first tour they had a dedicated keyboardist.
I only started going to concerts in the last couple of years and I feel like a lot of what I'm doing is trying to make the last contact with that bygone era that I can, even if it's lost much of its former qualities. Some bands do still have classic analog equipment but I've rarely seen a rig that didn't have something digital in it. In the future it probably won't exist except as a novelty. I've also heard live recordings from the 60s-80s or so that are way wilder than anything on record or live now. The comment about air conditioning is referring to how "fake" things are now, which is good in some ways like how people can't smoke cigs in clubs anymore or fire regulation changing because of the station club fire so people don't have to die in fires as often, but things aren't as chaotic and real as they were in that era. I think it's our generation's duty(assuming you're around my age) to keep the human element alive in the future's fully digital landscape, to carry that figurative torch from the previous era. Whether in art or music or day to day life.
I'll end with a quote from Hayward:
“What disappoints me about most current technology is it resembles the clerical. It’s secretarial. You have to click and take something across, give it a name . . . Everyone says the technology is fast, but in my cosmology, it’s only fast in a quasi-blasphemous way. You transfer a 45-minute piece but it’s across instantaneously. Music deals in time.”
I feel happy about helping out someone sushi rollymous online and doing the right thing for them.
I wouldn't take it personally, premature ejaculation isn't something that you can control. Did you try to get her off afterwards?
TOOL finally got with the streaming thing and it's all I've ever wanted, plus new album drops soon
I did but I couldn't stay hard. I even tried to open up and express to her that maybe she should try to get me off wait a couple of minutes or a short time for me to be able to get hard again and then work on getting her off. She just said "That seems so complicated" and the conversations have been extremely minimal since.
You have fingers and a mouth, you know. You don't actually have to be hard to get a girl off.
She wouldn't let me use either. She's weird about it and claims to not like it.
sounds like an odd situation, most girls love guys that are willing to do that shit.
Just re-remembered that qutebrowser exists, didn't have a laptop last time I tried it out. Hadn't figured before how much keyboard driven software would shine on a laptop, no need to plug in external mouse or suffer the touchpad. Can sit with the computer in positions that normally wouldn´t work cause the touchpad would be blocked.
I´m happy to have found a new aspect of comfy.
Yeah, I don't understand her.
I've been seeing a lot about qutebrowser in the last couple of weeks. Thinking about trying it out, anything that I need to know before going in?
Not much, though I've just used it a couple of days, used to be on VimFX before it got borked by a change in the FireFox extension stuff. Tried qutebrowser out to replace it but didn't like it as much in contrast then cause VimFX was exactly how I wanted it out of the box, but I could incorporate what I liked with some config if I just put in the effort.
Only tip I have so far would be keep the cheatsheet open for quick alt-tab reach at first and give it some time, it takes a while before the habit to reach for the mouse calms down.
I would really recommend giving it a go though, if you find yourself enjoying mouse free browsing you'll regret not having went for it sooner.
It's been a little over a month now since I completed and released the video game I'd been working on for the past year. I'm still glowing with satisfaction over finishing it, as well as over all of the positive feedback I've gotten for it from friends and strangers alike, heheh~
On top of that, I've already been working on the script for my next creative project, and though I've only just started on it, I'm pleased and excited with how it's turning out so far!
Also, man, I can't even remember the last time I posted here; I used to post a lot in the "learn how to draw" thread a good while back, along with a few others. It's thanks in no small part to that drawing thread in specific and to Sushichan in general that I got skilled/confident enough with my artistic ability to attempt making a game by myself, so I want to thank everyone here for helping me along with that~ You're the best, sushis.
Put in some effort to fixing and getting back some control over my life, got more done today than in years. There´s a long way to go until there´s not so much weighing me down mentally, but I can finally kindof make out the shape of the mountain I have to climb.
I'm a gamedev too, though I don't have anything released yet
Link your game!
Nicely done, sushi! Taking those first few steps and building up that initial momentum is the hardest part of digging yourself out of a psychological rut, so you're already well on your way. Keep up the great work!>>5809
Oh? I'd love to see what you've got so far, even if it's only WIP assets/screenshots!
As for my game, titled Remembrance, you can download it for free from any of the following websites:https://kyousystem.itch.io/remembrancehttps://rpgmaker.net/games/11183/http://monoeye.cc/remembrance/
Each of those websites has a short description and some screenshots taken from the game, too, if you're merely curious to give it a quick once-over without downloading it.
I stopped being a neet and went to school. All i need now is a job.
I thought I was gonna be moving back in with my parents by the end of the year but i got an entry level software engineering job. I get to program robots and it seems pretty comfy tbh
Excellent work, sushi! Now that you're enrolled as a student, I imagine that you shouldn't have too much trouble finding a part-time job on or nearby your campus. Also, if you don't mind my asking, what major are you pursuing? It's fine if you're undecided, of course!>>5827
Great job, sushi! As a fellow software engineer, I know all too well how difficult it is to secure an entry-level position in this industry, so I say you should be proud of yourself for landing that job! I've always felt like it'd be really cool to program robots; I'm happy that you get to experience it~>>5829
I very much appreciate you saying so, and I'm very flattered that you took the time to read through all of that old, sloppy writing of mine! Since you were so kind as to read through all of that and compliment me on it, I went ahead and uploaded the rest of my old writings for your reading pleasure:http://monoeye.cc/writings/
I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed my older works~
Every once in a while I buy a new blanket to give away as a gift, but instead of giving them away, I try to figure out who would want a blanket. Everyone I know pretty much always say they don't want even more blanket when I try to drop hints. So now I'm rolled up up in my brand new wool blanket.
Blanket? That's a wonderful idea for a gift, I'd love to have one. Who could have too many blankets?
I don't know what they're thinking. I thought they had that many, but I guess they think it is enough with their favourite blanket.
Either way, I have another blanket now. Nice to have in case of guests, and for different locations around the house.
Sounds like you're a good person sushi roll. I agree with the other sushi, who wouldn't want a nice, comfy blanket from a friend!
I'm happy that the weather is starting to cool down now throughout the end of this week. I really hate hot weather.
It's vocational school which qualifies me to work as a sysadmin or in other occupations like that. I don't know if it's a decent option in the us, but here it's a good choice and certainly better than doing nothing.
Things are getting better in my relationship.
I bought new shoes from the interwebs and they were the right size.
I got my diploma. It was a lot of work because I'm not good at executive function.
I got a job and moved across country nearer to where my sister lives.
I have a comfy basement apartment and am making payments on a car.
I'm starting to feel like a person again.
just nutted inside my girlfriend. she's so fire.
I'm not happy right now :(
I'm super stoked I might be in for trying something new I've wanted to try out a while, while also being there for the launch of something cool and unique of that realm, help get it going. Don't know if I've actually gotten to experience that before, always find things either while they're already gotten started or are on the very verge of puttering out.
Also browsed through the thread again and I gotta say I relate >>4187
, getting to stay in bed as long as you want is a big mood.
Today I spent an hour watching the clouds roll by and the leaves fall. After reading the Tao of Pooh, I realized that I have been preoccupied with working, so much to the point I was trying to be productive with every second of my time (I wore a watch and would compulsively check the time.) But now, I feel that I'm happier just by letting go.>>5882
Did you ever make a friend?>>6036
I feel the same way. I tried discord a couple of times too but there's nothing like this place.>>6038>>6040
We all have our days sushi. Maybe take a rest, and let whatever is weighing you down take a rest too.>>6039
I've tried the art grind too sushi. It's tough. Remember to take frequent breaks, you got this.>>6041
Sounds fun! I don't play WoW but I'm still curious as to what race/class you play as.>>6042
Yeah, sleeping is the best.>>6043
Save some for us!
C-can you post more of that face on /l-/lewd/? >///<
This must be so fucking great. I get the weirdest joy from the thought of people still enjoying good old hardcore gaming like this.
Would've, but /lewd/ seems to be 2D only~lewd-warn It's Lana Rain though (Pink Haired Pirate vid to be specific). Funny anecdote, as a teen seeing hentai flashes sometimes I'd think they were just bad artists not knowing how bodies look IRL, but Lana Rain does have exactly that kind of booty, real-life hentai flash booty, never seen any other like it. lewd-warn-over
Also am reminded to be happy that I live in times with such lewd media so freely available. It's easy to take it for granted.
I'm playing an Etrian Odyssey game for the first time and it's going really well and I'm enjoying myself.
The older I grow, the more I feel mature enough to handle a love relationship, and the more I fear the day were the opportunity of starting one will occur, because I realized recently that the best time I have is the one I spend alone, morning to evening.
Occasions I'm around grills my age grow scarcer every days, let alone grills with common interests and personality, and the fear to die all alone grows in respect to that, but every days I also think how good it must feel like to be free from the burden of being around someone in my daily life. It's kind of a dilemma.
sage for off-topic schizoid spergings
Tbh I don't think it'd be that bad to die alone. If you leave someone dear and close behind that will be a kind of burden, worrying if they're gonna be okay without you watching out for them.
I had a thing going with a pretty sweet girl at one point, but she weren't the brightest. Like the kind that falls for online credit card scams. Not very bright, but very sweet, only one I've met that could get through to me when I was having a low time not finding joy in anything.
If we were still together when I was dying I'd be so worried she'd end up being taken advantage of, especially since she was always kind of a loner like me. I mean I guess I kind of still will, it's been years since we lost eachother, but I still think about her. Maybe she'll be the last one I think about too, and it'd be more comforting to see her instead of just think.
Also do you mean actual schizoid? It's an actual distinct thing different from schizophrenia.
Also, another also, I guess I am glad I got to remember my feelings again. Been keeping it on ice alot. Thank you sushi.
I hope I didn't bring regrets or doubts into your mind… I actually meant schizoid, as this situation is really close to this typical problem where one is longing for relationships while fearing and avoiding them at the same time. It has always been like that, as well as the shame to express even shallow level of emotion, but place like this are a blessing for that.
>>6087>actually meant schizoid
Cool cool, just checking. Some people use it unawares cause of like, humanoid, mechanoid, etc. It's a common and fun to use word bend.
I'm not diagnosed, but when I first read the symptoms I was surprised how well it fit my experience growing up. Spent like almost all of it in fantasies, having to do stuff in actual real life was just something I had to do inbetween. Long busrides and stuff was the shit cause I was free to just stare out the windows and ride the daydream engine wherever without anybody interrupting me.
No need to worry about bringing up something bad, it was something I needed to stop pushing away. Better to feel melancholic love than to disable that whole emotional subsystem.
Also maybe we should bring this discussion to /hell/ lol
if we wanna continue further, might be a bit too heavy for someone just browsing through. Seems like a match for the "Also if you absolutely must have a super serious thread do it on /hell/, otherwise please don't. :)" rule.
I'm happy you found your way here sushiroll ❤️
So I moved to a city recently and currently I am rewatching Welcome to NHK. At first I found Sato very relatable, I have no friends here and was too scared to leave my flat at first, but Sato was pathetic liar and that I despise. Today I made myself go to shopping centre to get winter socks, to gardening shop and to guitar shop. I am still novice player, but I really wanted to play on electric. I didn't use an amp, to not embarass myself but still it was great experience.
I am finally moving on from my addiction, for real this time! Being sober feels wonderful.
Stoked to be on my mech kb again, spilled a whole cup of coffee into it couple of weeks ago and it spat out bullshit even after several days of open case drying. So glad it wasn't permanent, just had to wait quite a bit extra.
>my brother have a job now and don't want to kill himself anymore
Hey Aniki, glad you like my development. I'll try my best. Though I still get suicidal ideations without my drugs.
I still have one in a shoes box under my bed.
Wut?I am the younger brother not the old, don't lie to me, sushi roll