ok sushirolls, some big shit happening right now and i need a little advice…
> be 20, college dropout (compsci)
> doing webshit contracting
> can't find work lel, no money
> a while ago met this girl on irc and really hit it off, started talking about like utena and old movies and then just like life in general
> we're talking every day now, sometimes for hours
> so yeh, sitting in the library with laptop and all my junk (not much, just like a couple bags with clothes or whatever, like i said, i'm poor)
> tell girl i got evicted and she immediately asks me to come live with her
> apparently she lives with her brother and older sister in their dead parents' house
> really want to go, but feeling a little tentative
so yeh, the situation sounds a little weird, but at the same time i don't have anywhere else to go and also i really want to be with her…
i guess i came here because i trust you all the most.
(and yes, the girl is a tran. we've done video chat a few times and she's cute, fuck off)
I don't see a problem with living with him.
It's not like you have anywhere else to go, so what do you want advice on?
I don't see anything wrong with taking them up on their offer. Just try to be nice and help out once and a while during your stay to return their kindness.
one chapter of your life has ended, and already the next is staring you dead in the eyes, glistening with promise. It's not the sort of oppurtunity that comes up every day.
>the situation sounds a little weird
In the future you'll be looking back at the weird day when you went to live with the weird girl, in her dead families weird home
we live in weird times sushi roll
thank you for replying
i think i'll probably go for it, but i'm still feeling a bit scared or uncertain. i've never lived with anyone before, and i really like her but we've never even met in person yet, so it still feels a little, i don't know
yeah i guess you're probably right…
but what if her family really is weird? we've talked about her siblings a little now. the brother is 16 and the sister is 21. but i've only ever talked to her before, so the thought of living with these other people i don't know is making me really nervous
…but i also don't want to be here when it gets dark and have to sleep outside, and the library's closing soon…
>>3427>(and yes, the girl is a tran. we've done video chat a few times and she's cute, fuck off)
Just curious, but were you expecting that there'd be a big catch with the offer like that?
what do you mean "catch"?
and also, about to close, so got to leave… and i think i'm going!
will report back when / if possible!
>>3436>what do you mean "catch"?
A big drawback. You look the gift horse in the mouth and it has an abscessed tooth. Although it doesn't seem to be a drawback for you. I hope it ends up being a good place to stay.
If you haven't met in person, you definitely shouldn't go to her house. Meet up at a cafe, or even at the library you mentioned. She's probably the nicest person on Earth, but in these times you just can't trust anyone you've never met. Get to know her better before moving in, and if it seems safe, then you could take her up on the offer. Just be cautious, and keep in mind that you never really know anyone else's intentions.
It's been over 10 hours. Considering no updates, it was a trap.
I think you should go for it. You're only 20. Have adventures while you're young.
OP confirmed for raped and harvested.
Lets at least give OP 24 hours before we declare them dead.
But should you not come back OP, perhaps the next chapter of your life was also your final chapter. May you find solace in webshit heaven, and never have to write PHP again.
Rest In Peace
ok, only here for a second because everyone's making breakfast now apparently and i don't want to just be sitting here at the computer, but update!
so it took a long time to get to the place on the bus because it's a ways out of town and i had to ride the bus, so got there at like 11 at night. went up to knock on the door and it was one of the scariest things i've ever done because the house is really big and i kept second guessing whether or not it was the right place or if it was all a joke or a trap or something…
but nope! it looks like this might work out ok. they all do seem a little weird, and like the house is a little messy, but it's not hoarder status and they have food and working wireless and seem like ok people. and re: girl, well uhm… i guess i didn't get much sleep last night? x-x and we're sharing a room now. god, this all happened so quickly and feels so surreal…>>3432
thank you so much for the encouragement. it was exactly what i needed, i was pretty close to freaking out there, honestly, and this could've ended a lot of ways>>3440
i know, in retrospect you're totally right. i've just never been in a situation like this before and just went for it. but it's turned out ok so far!>>3445
lol i've never written a line of php in my life
i'll stop in again if something else big happens, or maybe in a few days once i understand the situation better. thanks everyone!
Good luck OP, I wish you all the best!
Treat your girl well.
t. another t-girl providing warm 4 walls for a lost soul
Does she have cute socks?
Stage and take a picture like this
hey I know those legs
My personal opinions on uhhh, the "she" matter aside; I'm really happy that you've not only found a place to stay but got closer to someone you care about.
I'm similar to you in that I over think things and end up in a self fulfilling loop of concern. I'm pleased that you pulled through such a thing, on such a scary matter too.
I wish you long lasting stability and happiness! I hope you will come back to update us in like a month just so we know you're not raped and harvested.
Glad to hear it went well. Not going to lie, I was a little nervous on your behalf. Give us updates every week or so, you hear? Stay alert, but stay comfy sushi.
Best of luck to you OP, I'm glad you went for it.
Also keep up updated pls.
rest in pieces :(
hey again all!
sorry for being so slow to get back to you. the last week has been really surreal.
or i guess it's ten days? wow, totally losing track of time
so apparently no one in this family ever goes outside. like they all work online and just literally never leave the house. we've been getting groceries delivered, and there's a nice chinese food place that also delivers.
the older sister does webcamming and just like doesn't even bother to close the door, which really weirded me out a first. also they've got their parents old room closed off as like a shrine with everything exactly where it was before they died. i've only looked in there once.
my girlfriend (having a girlfriend is also really fucking weird to think about) does like art commisions for tumblr, yaoi stuff, and also transcribing things.
besides work though, we've all just been like sitting around watching movies all day, or the older sister likes to get us to try out making different recipes together. last night was gyoza. and she's dm-ing a gurps run for us lol
i don't know, it's just really surreal. i've only been outside again like once in the past ten days, taking the trash out for the truck last night. you just lose track of time
it feels like maybe i'm getting almost too used to this whole situation. like, if things just kept going on this way, i might just never go anywhere again or something. is that bad?>>3448
lol, no programmer socks, no, but i'll see what i can do!>>3453
yeah, thank you again!>>3458>>3460>>3486>>3497
i'll try to be better about responding, but i'm not really using a computer very much since being here, so it's hard to remember
This whole thing is like a kids book. Going to live with three weird orphans in their dead parents secluded mansion with a forbidden room. If you go on any magical adventures or daring escapades, make sure you write them down so you can tell us.
>it feels like maybe i'm getting almost too used to this whole situation. like, if things just kept going on this way, i might just never go anywhere again or something. is that bad?
Not if this is what you want, sushi. You should remember to go outside once in a while, but don't be afraid to intergrate into this life.
>>3512>This whole thing is like a kids book.
It really does, doesn't it? I feel like responsibilities are going to slap these people in the face soon… How does anyone there even make enough money to keep the lights on?
Well either way, good luck sushi roll, this is a really interesting thread. Please have fun, and keep us updated; there's lots of people here cheering you on.
>>3513>How does anyone there even make enough money to keep the lights on?
I dare to say inheritance.
Enjoy the ride for now sushi roll but I suggest you at least start working on finding a job so you have a backup if things end or at the least you can contribute to running costs.
Thanks for the update, keep them coming every now and again. Also, you may want to find a nearby job. Even if it's grunt work, some income is going to be very necessary. Any schmoe can do lawn work, so that might be a place to start.
Dude you should encourage them to budget and invest their inheritance.
Depending on how much they have they may be able to live ghetto for decades at least.
They should be taking medical or IT classes right now in preparation for the money running out.
I would say vocational school would be a good idea too. plumbers, electricians, carpenters, all make good money, and they are fields where you can find good work.
I'm not Op, I was just saying that's the likely situation.
So I guess the lewd kind?
Sounds like you're having a nice time, though you might want to go out once in a while if you're anything like me.
Either way, it gives me a lot of hope to know there are people who can make a living completely online, because I am hoping I can get out of this fuckign job and do something online. Already working on it, though I've had my downsides and I'm not anywhere near getting paid. I was about to quit, but this is your thread not mine.
Anyway, enjoy it all the while it lasts, which may be a long time for what I can see. It's pretty clear you're having quite the experience, and experiences are a good thing to have, I should know.
Best of luck again OP! And keep up the good lyfe!
Nice to see you're doing allright, but I think I'll second the other sushirolls, finding a job would really help, both for a sustainable base, and for keeping you busy; you know, to actually go somewhere, as you said.
Still, you do what you think is best, at the end advices are just that.
So yeah, good luck!
Oh yeah, this thread. You still with us OP? How are things going?>>4669
This is a screenshot from the first Deus Ex game.
Damn, It's already been ~6 months since last update. Hopefully he found a job to keep him busy outside of the house.
Or they might have killed him, who knows…
Or maybe they just don't visit this site very often, or maybe the lots of Extremely Online people in a single house thing didn't work out.
I could tell you a story about how my sister and her nerd friends all rented a house together, and how terrible it ended up. This thread sort of reminds me of the initial stage of that bizarre and dysfunction situation.
But it's a long story so I'd only post it if people would read it.
Count me in sushi, I want to hear as well.
It's not a really fun or interesting story, but more of a cautionary tale. This thread reminds me of it. Probably a little too long, but oh well. I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I think it's a relevant story. Might as well post it here instead of making my own thread.
After my mom died, my dad tried online dating and pretty quickly got married to a new wife. Both my dad and his new wife had their own houses, not just renting, and he decided to move in with her. He already had a house with my mom and me and my sister though, so he had an empty house that he was trying to sell. The housing market wasn't great at the time, so it was on the market for a while, but attempts to sell it were unsuccessful, probably because my dad didn't want to reduce the price he was asking for.
I think it was my sister came up with the idea to have my dad rent it out to her and her friends, because they were college aged and looking for an affordable place to stay. They were all friends, so it sounded like a good idea. They'd all get along, right? Or so everyone thought.
So my sister smoked a lot of weed and was into nerd stuff like video games. She had moved back after flunking out of college. Unsurprisingly, her friends were similar to her. So guess what happened?
Well, it turns out that some of the people at that house weren't in college, and many were under-employed/underachievers. These were people who didn't have much life experience, weren't exactly well-educated, didn't have much money, and liked to party and all that. Some of them were high school friends, others were smoking buddies, and some people met through house parties. I wasn't really part of this friend group, I just smoked weed with them every now and then (I don't smoke anymore though). They were all a 3-5 years older than me, but they acted like they were really mature and experienced adults and I was some stupid kid. In reality, we were all stupid and had no idea about most things in life.
So what ended up happening is that the house got a reputation among other similar-age young people, so there were parties and people would drink and smoke weed and all that. They weren't really loud or wild parties, just low-key smoking and talking/chilling on couches kind of pseudo-parties. I went there a few times and got high, and I guess at the time it seemed cool, but it was really a disaster for the house. It got really dirty, and some people weren't paying their rent. I think neighbors and the homeowner's association might have complained about the state the house was in, at least for the yard and the fact that there were lots of cars in the driveway and on the street because of how many people lived there. It wasn't well-kept at all, even though it was in an upper middle class area. By comparison, the neighbors had a small flower garden and always mowed, and it looked much better. So this weed/party/nerd house stuck out like a sore thumb.
One time when I went over there, I noticed that the oven looked kind of melted (it had plastic knobs for the burners, a plastic handle, and some plastic panel thing on the front), and apparently what happened was someone got high and/or drunk and forgot to turn the oven off, so it got really hot and stayed like that for a really long time. I don't know much about ovens, but this is still pretty concerning. I have no idea how long it was on, or what the temperature was, or how ovens don't have safety features to stop this from happening. Maybe there was a fire, I don't know.
A lot of the house looked like a disaster area from all the mess and the fact that there were tons of people who lived there and also many more people coming to party or just hang out. One problem with shared living with many roommates is that nobody think it's their responsibility to clean shared areas, like hallways, bathrooms, or the kitchen. And there's this phenomenon of dirtiness – when something is clean, people try to keep it clean. But when it goes to shit, people just give up.
One guy in particular bought a huge gameboy stand thing, probably from some store display from back in the day, which he seemed proud of. I never saw it in use and I don't think it was plugged in, and I'm not sure if it even worked or not. It seemed like a really stupid impulse buy and it just added to the clutter of the already-cluttered house. It wasn't hoarder tier, but it was still pretty bad.
I talked with him during one of the low-key smoking/hangout pseudo-parties and he told me about his huge gameboy thing, and also showed me a picture on his phone of his car's dashboard showing him going over 100 miles per hour. Somehow he thought this would impress me… that he was using his phone to take pictures when he was speeding. Shows the mentality of the people there. Also, his gameboy thing was in the basement, at least at one point. It was a finished basement, but it was still a basement. And it got really messy really quickly. The bathrooms were especially bad, because I guess people didn't really come up with a good system for who would clean what. It was pretty gross, but I put up with it when I went there because I could smoke weed. But I couldn't imagine living like that. Years later, this guy became a weed dealer and moved to a nearby city.
There was this other guy, who had an accent, and I think he was originally from England or something. He was into memes and he seemed to have this tourettes-type thing where he' blurt out memes when he was walking through the house. Like this one time he was walking past me in the hall and he yelled "fuck yeah, seaking" (an old meme that gives you an idea of when this occured). He and his girlfriend lived in a room there together, and I saw it once, and they just had mattresses on the floor and they'd use their laptops in bed to browse 4chan or something.
Everyone here was into things like DnD, anime, video games, and that kind of thing. I was actually embarrassed to be into that stuff, so at the time I didn't really mention any of it. I was always on the outside looking in, not a part of the group. But aside from their dork interests, almost all of them drank a lot and most of the people there smoked weed and hookah too. Sometimes, people even experimented with psychedelics. Sometimes, at parties, people would fill balloons with nitrous oxide and then inhale it for a weird and short high.
As you might expect, some of these people had… issues. Not really surprising. I think people like that tend to drag each other down. You might think having like-minded people would be a good thing, but I think it created a weird echo chamber of bad ideas that became normalized because the other people around them did bad things too. It was weird seeing a house I used to live in turning into a filthy stoner house shared by a bunch of irresponsible young adults, but oh well. I didn't live there anymore.
There was also this guy who thought of himself as being some creative genius. He played guitar (or maybe it was bass) and loved apple products (back when iPhones weren't as normal/boring as they are today, and when people thought mac = artist) and he messed around with some computer stuff, but he wasn't in IT or CS or anything like that. He and his girlfriend lived there together. I think he also played piano. He really wasn't that talented, but in a den of mediocre people, he was seen as cool.
I heard that some of the time, they had trouble with paying my dad for the rent on time, and not only that, but some things in the house were broken – not just the oven, either. The railing on the stairs to the basement was just completely gone. Broken off. The house had a bad reputation among adults (I'm surprised nobody ever called the cops and raided the house), but it was seen as a cool house by teenagers and early 20s people.
Eventually, all the tenants moved out when my dad was sick of it. I'm not sure if he straight up kicked them out, or just worked out some agreement. But eventually they all left, but it was really messy and some things needed to be repaired. I think that, overall, he actually ended up losing money because of the people who rented it out. He then paid to have some people fix up (new paint, repairs, etc) the house and then eventually sold it for quite a loss. The housing market wasn't great to begin with at this time, but then he lost even more money by being a landlord, who, in my opinion, was too polite to tell people to not be gross and have higher standards. The fact that it was inhabited by his daughter and her friends probably softened him a little when he should have been a lot stricter. Sometimes people think landlords are rich, but my god, my dad had to deal with a bunch of bullshit. And for what? You don't always make money with tenants. That's why interviewing and doing background checks is important. But trusting your family and their friends doesn't always work out well. They can abuse your trust. Or sometimes, it's not malicious, just accidentally bad. Like, the people didn't really try to destroy the house or make huge messes, it just ended up that way with lazy stoner teens and 20-somethings not really having good habits or knowing much about personal responsibility.
Then, the same group of friends did basically the same thing, only this time, it was lead by the musician/creative software guy and his girlfriend. My sister didn't really have the same clout in this group anymore because she couldn't say her dad was the landlord. But the group, coordinated by the couple, found a three story house in the same city, but it was in a slightly higher-crime area. In that neighborhood, you could find big and once-nice houses that were sold on the cheap by people who left when it declined ("white flight" essentially). The house seemed nice, but it was in disrepair.
How it worked was the couple collected rent from all the renters, and then paid the people (or person?) who owned the house. They had a board with info about rent and chores. They learned from the previous mistakes, but it was still far from perfect. Still weed, parties, and clutter and messes. Still nasty bathrooms.
Some of the old people left, like the guy who moved to a bigger city to become a weed dealer (as well as working some other job). And there were some new people too. On the whole, there were more people living in this single-family house, because it was a huge house. Everybody basically just had a room and then everything else was shared. One person even had a pseudo-room that was in the family/front room and they just had a blanket put up because there wasn't even a door.
At one point, my sister got a virus on her laptop. It was the FBI scareware thing (predecessor to ransomware). I tried to remove it, but had difficulty, because I was using something shitty at the time called clamav, from a bootable linux flash drive. It took forever to run, because it was a slow piece of shit, even at the time. Eventually, my sister told me to give up and then wanted me to build her a new computer. Specifically, she wanted to play this one Chinese free to play pay2win WoW clone on it that she played with her friend. She would RP with this person and she wanted me to transfer over her AIM chatlogs to her new computer, and it was really weird, for many reasons. She had a boyfriend, but she was very friendly with this other girl. And they get into text RPing which is weird. Not video game RPGs, just pretending to be an elf or some shit through writing. I'd never be able to take that cringey stuff seriously.
But anyway, I built her a new gaming PC. I like building computers, but I mostly did it for other people because I didn't have the money to upgrade my own computers all that often. So I built it and then she wanted me to set it up in her room she was renting at this new shared house. I went over one evening to set up the computer, monitor, speakers, etc. Then, the creative dude's girlfriend came and said hi, and introduced me to her "new fuckbuddy" and then said they were going to have sex. She met him on craigslist or something. Apparently, they decided to be in an open relationship, so they would fuck random strangers from the internet. Back before Tinder, this was not as common and was seen as pretty weird. I also wonder if the guy really wanted to be in an open relationship, or if he merely put up with it to stay with his girlfriend. I think they got married a little while later, and then weren't in an open relationship anymore.
In retrospect, I think it was actually harmful for me to get my sister into PC gaming, and she got really into it whereas I just kind of gave up on that entirely to focus on more important things. It enabled her to have a more lethargic lifestyle. Smoking weed and drinking and playing video games while only working dead-end jobs minimally. One time, she even spilled booze on the front of her computer and the front panel's USB ports stopped working. It's a miracle she didn't destroy the whole PC though.
My sister did live with this group for a while, but she was no longer in charge. But then she started dating someone and let him stay in her room. I'm not entirely sure how they met, but it might have been online, possibly through gaming, considering that he lived quite a distance away, so it's not like they met in high school or at a local bar or something. One of the other roommates, an older guy in his late 30s or maybe 40s, got upset, because I don't think my sister's boyfriend was paying rent. They had some sort of altercations. This older dude was quite a character. I'm not sure how he got into this group, considering the age difference. You'd think someone that old would have their shit together by then and wouldn't need to share rent with tons of people, but oh well. My sister said he did a lot of acid, and that he was kind of crazy. He also did a lot of weird psychedelic paintings.
My sister gave a very one-sided explanation of the story, but apparently they were sending each other passive-aggressive post-it notes, instead of acting like adults and resolving the conflict in a mature way. She said he felt threatened by her, and he also didn't like her guests who were coming over frequently and staying the night or living there without paying rent. So the entire group decided to kick my sister out. I think she might have actually been at fault, but she acted like the other guy was at fault and then everyone took his side based on false information or something. She felt singled out and that she was kicked out unfairly. But after moving out, she and that group got on better terms again.
I got invited to occasional gatherings there, and I eventually met this guy who moved in at some point. He was another older guy, maybe early 40s, who needed carpooling because he lost his license due to a DUI or something. He lived in the room that had a blanket instead of a door. My sister said he could have gotten his license back and gotten a car, but she said she thought he actually preferred to just ride with other people instead of spending more money on a car and car insurance. He played WoW, worked as a waiter, and he was generally pretty personable. Had better social skills than a lot of the other people there, probably because he had to wait tables and be hospitable in order to get tips. But in order to make more money, he became a drug dealer. He mostly sold weed but I think he dabbled in selling other things occasionally. But he tried to present himself as a friendly guy who was just a "bro" or whatever instead of a dealer. And really, he didn't make his entire living off of it, just occasionally selling weed. My sister said he would talk about deals through Blizzard's battlenet chat thing, which I thought was pretty funny. He sold me weed a couple times, but his prices weren't that great. He eventually started dating someone and became a stepdad. He seemed happier and more stable than a lot of people in this group. But none of these people were really well off, and everybody was weird to some degree. More so than the average person, I'd think.
He did this thing that a lot of pseudo-dealers do: he'd be really friendly, try to be your friend, talk to you, invite you to hang out, and smoke blunts with his customers. He had this "I'm not like the other dealers" attitude and went out of his way to be more friendly and personable. But at the same time, it often meant that, if you wanted to buy like an eighth or a quad or whatever, he'd make smalltalk and it'd take a lot longer than just giving them money and leaving.
I guess I wasn't really going anywhere with that story. It's not like a novel that has a conclusion or whatever. It was just a bunch of nerdy/geeky people who decided to live together and they had some bumps along the way. I heard that the couple live somewhere else now, and I've moved far away, and I never lived in that shared housing situation to begin with (I think they called it the "batcave" or something at some point, I vaguely remember because of the wifi name and password). I've had a lot of roommates after moving out of my parents' house, but they had next to nothing in common with these people. I'd take boring but high-functioning roommates over these kinds of people any day of the week. Roommates don't have to be your friends, they just have to be good roommates. Friendship includes boundaries, like not living with them, and those boundaries are part of why you can tolerate your friends.
To people who haven't experienced that stuff, it might seem cool. But I thought it was pretty grating. Lots of people smoking weed and playing N64 Mario Kart together? Sounds cool, right? But it also meant the house would reek of weed, I'd get hotboxed and feel anxious from being too high, etc. I'd also constantly worry about police when I was hanging out with these people, because of all the drugs and whatnot. I also didn't like the weird "we're nerds so we're clearly smart and better than other people" attitude that often plagues these kinds of people.
But the point I'm trying to make is that I don't think nerdy or introverted people are good for each other. People who spend too much time getting drunk and high and spending a lot of time on their computer… these kinds of people are better off interacting with more extroverted people. Your friends and roommates shouldn't just be a carbon copy of you. Find people who are different. That being said, these people were, on the whole, more outgoing and social than the people OP described, but it was still pretty dysfunctional.
Oh yeah, and one last thing (if it wasn't obvious from the other posts): pretty much all of these people were poor. Most didn't have degrees, or I know one person there had a degree from community college, but they still worked at a restaurant. Lots of shitty/dead-end/low pay jobs.
I think that might have driven these people to get more into their hobbies: when you're broke, you don't want to think about college, promotions, professional networking, and career stuff. You just want to finish your shift and then do something fun, like escapist stuff such as getting high or playing a game to forget about your troubles and situation.
I used to be more into escapist stuff like anime and video games and weed, but I've kind of forced myself to be less into it now. The people who put all their free time into just enjoying themselves don't really have any upward mobility. I'm concentrating on my education and career goals now, but I bet a lot of these people are still poor and have no opportunities for career advancements.
I thought of that when the topic came up. Fredrik knudsen did a good video on that for down the rabbit hole if anyone is into that stuff.
I was actually thinking of starting a nerd house of some sorts sometime early next year. Not nerd in the sense of vidya, anime, gaming etc, but really smart people, and creators. I figure we'll be able to come up with all kinds of cool projects, and ideas living together. And it'll force me to be less withdrawn, as it tends to happen whenever things get stagnant. I'm a bit nervous about the idea of having roommates in my first house but at least I'll be bringing in rent money.
That sounds like a good idea, IF they're people you actually know well and get along with already. That's the difference between a happy and (for lack of a better word) productive home and a den of fucktards who answered the ad for "Wanted: really smart people" filled with social politics.
Establish clearly-defined rules and a cleaning schedule. That's really important, unless you want everything to go to shit quickly. Speaking from personal experience.